Author Topic: Jassy Love BIRMINGHAM (Read 2164 times)

greg101 · « **on:** March 12, 2019, 01:30:02 pm »

This was quite possibly my worst punt ever.

External Link/Members Only or 07587047953

Jassy is in Birmingham B3 area, a stones throw from the BT tower. Jassy states she is 25, you can add a decade to that. She is short, 5'2 or something, wears loads of make up and has a massive tattoo on her back. Not sure if she is Thai or something else.

I booked for half an hour and was ushered into her apartment and the paperwork was sorted. She speaks very quietly and she thinks it is sexy, It's irritating as you virtually have to lip read. She is not a looker, I'd say 3/10 and that's being generous. However, I'm thinking with my dick as I need to unload. She is tiny and I think it would be great to have her bounce around on my cock.

She says kissing, OW and sex. £70. She goes to stash the cash and I get undressed and wait on the bed. She saunters in, trying to pout and run a hand through her hair in a smoldering way. To me she just reminded me of a Japanese built robot that required a remote control and would make whirring noises as she walked I nearly expected her to say "DO.YOU.WANT.TO.FUCK.NOW?" in a mash get smash robot like voice.

She then joins me on the bed and starts kissing me, this is not DFK and my attempt to DFK is rejected and I'm given a cold stare. A few lippy kissing moments later and I request oral with. She puts the condom on me starts sucking me, to be fair this is bloody good, lightly scratching my bollocks and I could have shot my load there and then. I asked her to slow down which she did. I did not want to rim her but she was naked so I asked her to go 69 position which she did and was squatting with her feet either side of my ears. I started to work on fingering her and then it happened. IF YOU ARE EATING SOMETHING, FINISH IT BEFORE CONTINUING.

So she is sucking away, I'm fingering her, then I smelt this nasty shitty smell and she farts. Stops what she is doing and a turd half pops out her arse and she looks back in horror and I tip her off me as the turd falls off on the bed and I jump off the other side. My cock flatlines. She looks at me, I'm looking at this turd. I'm feeling sick. I take the condom off, throw it in the bin, get dressed and leave.

0/10 fucking horrific. Not recommended. I'm not even going to bother linking photos.

Rodney you plonker · « **Reply #1 on:** March 12, 2019, 01:39:27 pm »

Bit of a shit punt then!ill get my coat

Goldfinch · « **Reply #2 on:** March 12, 2019, 01:40:36 pm »

Quote from: greg101 on March 12, 2019, 01:30:02 pm

So she is sucking away, I'm fingering her, then I smelt this nasty shitty smell and she farts. Stops what she is doing and a turd half pops out her arse and she looks back in horror and I tip her off me as the turd falls off on the bed and I jump off the other side.

Sorry to hear you had a shit punt

hope your next one is a positive.

azrael · « **Reply #3 on:** March 12, 2019, 01:54:15 pm »

Thanks for the review op, i see you're not one for hard sports then. Could have been worse she could have had the runs

Punterperson1971 · « **Reply #4 on:** March 12, 2019, 03:28:35 pm »

Quote from: azrael on March 12, 2019, 01:54:15 pm

Thanks for the review op, i see you're not one for hard sports then. Could have been worse she could have had the runs

Could have been worse she could have said that’s extra

shrewsmale · « **Reply #5 on:** March 12, 2019, 03:37:19 pm »

Quote from: Punterperson1971 on March 12, 2019, 03:28:35 pm

Could have been worse she could have said that’s extra

she doesnt list hard sports on AW, must be a new offering.

Sorry OP.

azrael · « **Reply #6 on:** March 12, 2019, 03:54:03 pm »

Quote from: Punterperson1971 on March 12, 2019, 03:28:35 pm

Could have been worse she could have said that’s extra

Just imagine her on top 69ing, the splash back on op

greg101 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 12, 2019, 04:23:12 pm »

It splattered my glasses, it was a wet fart.

I would never ever ever see this dirty nasty tramp again. Ever.

Don Keydick · « **Reply #8 on:** March 12, 2019, 04:40:33 pm »

Only just stopped laughing this is the funniest review I have ever read, I do not think she will ever live this down. and I am sure you will never forget

riseup01 · « **Reply #9 on:** March 12, 2019, 05:16:12 pm »

I think a trip to the clinic is in order for you mate.

W_Punter · « **Reply #10 on:** March 12, 2019, 06:05:19 pm »

"0/10 fucking horrific. Not recommended. I'm not even going to bother linking photos."

Photos of the turd?

The Owl · « **Reply #11 on:** March 12, 2019, 07:02:53 pm »

I laughed my arse off at your review. Sorry (so not sorry).

She doesn't have hardsports listed in her likes but she does mention extras not listed being up for discussion. Perhaps you asked far a hard fuck when you booked over the phone but the line cut out and she thought you asked for hardsports. Perhaps you've hit the jackpot and found an escort that you offers you extra services she doesn't give her other clients.

Was her AW feedback hidden before you booked her or did you leave her a big fat stinking negative after she shit the bed.

Cheers for the review OP. She already had a small bunch of negative UKP reviews and hidden AW feedback. You're review is the final brown note on this prossie. I'll stick her on my blacklist.

theejaculator · « **Reply #12 on:** March 12, 2019, 07:37:48 pm »

Quote from: greg101 on March 12, 2019, 04:23:12 pm

It splattered my glasses, it was a wet fart.

I would never ever ever see this dirty nasty tramp again. Ever.

So you kept your glasses on during the punt?

The Owl · « **Reply #13 on:** March 12, 2019, 07:59:12 pm »

Quote from: theejaculator on March 12, 2019, 07:37:48 pm

So you kept your glasses on during the punt?

Better than having brown eyes when they were baby blues before the hardsports special.

Littlefoot · « **Reply #14 on:** March 12, 2019, 08:06:53 pm »

Hidden Image/Members Only

shed · « **Reply #15 on:** March 12, 2019, 08:08:36 pm »

Quote from: greg101 on March 12, 2019, 01:30:02 pm

This was quite possibly my worst punt ever.

External Link/Members Only or 07587047953

Jassy is in Birmingham B3 area, a stones throw from the BT tower. Jassy states she is 25, you can add a decade to that. She is short, 5'2 or something, wears loads of make up and has a massive tattoo on her back. Not sure if she is Thai or something else.

I booked for half an hour and was ushered into her apartment and the paperwork was sorted. She speaks very quietly and she thinks it is sexy, It's irritating as you virtually have to lip read. She is not a looker, I'd say 3/10 and that's being generous. However, I'm thinking with my dick as I need to unload. She is tiny and I think it would be great to have her bounce around on my cock.

She says kissing, OW and sex. £70. She goes to stash the cash and I get undressed and wait on the bed. She saunters in, trying to pout and run a hand through her hair in a smoldering way. To me she just reminded me of a Japanese built robot that required a remote control and would make whirring noises as she walked I nearly expected her to say "DO.YOU.WANT.TO.FUCK.NOW?" in a mash get smash robot like voice.

She then joins me on the bed and starts kissing me, this is not DFK and my attempt to DFK is rejected and I'm given a cold stare. A few lippy kissing moments later and I request oral with. She puts the condom on me starts sucking me, to be fair this is bloody good, lightly scratching my bollocks and I could have shot my load there and then. I asked her to slow down which she did. I did not want to rim her but she was naked so I asked her to go 69 position which she did and was squatting with her feet either side of my ears. I started to work on fingering her and then it happened. IF YOU ARE EATING SOMETHING, FINISH IT BEFORE CONTINUING.

So she is sucking away, I'm fingering her, then I smelt this nasty shitty smell and she farts. Stops what she is doing and a turd half pops out her arse and she looks back in horror and I tip her off me as the turd falls off on the bed and I jump off the other side. My cock flatlines. She looks at me, I'm looking at this turd. I'm feeling sick. I take the condom off, throw it in the bin, get dressed and leave.

0/10 fucking horrific. Not recommended. I'm not even going to bother linking photos.

Need to be thankful mate you weren't rimming her at the time

azrael · « **Reply #16 on:** March 12, 2019, 08:09:35 pm »

Quote from: Littlefoot on March 12, 2019, 08:06:53 pm

Hidden Image/Members Only

greg101 · « **Reply #17 on:** March 12, 2019, 08:17:23 pm »

Quote from: theejaculator on March 12, 2019, 07:37:48 pm

So you kept your glasses on during the punt?

Yes, always. I am short sighted and only take them off to shower or sleep or swim. I have bought some listerine as I'm sure I got a bit in my mouth/on my tongue.
Grateful for small mercies like she never had the runs and will never see her again. The turd was on the bed for a good 2 minutes whilst I was getting dressed, I bet the dirty cow never changed the sheets for the next punter but merely 'removed' it.

greg101 · « **Reply #18 on:** March 12, 2019, 08:18:08 pm »

Quote from: Littlefoot on March 12, 2019, 08:06:53 pm

Hidden Image/Members Only

That made me laugh Littlefoot.

Quote from: The Owl on March 12, 2019, 07:02:53 pm

Was her AW feedback hidden before you booked her or did you leave her a big fat stinking negative after she shit the bed.

I never looked. That'll teach me

Littlefoot · « **Reply #19 on:** March 12, 2019, 08:18:49 pm »

I've just remembered what this review reminds me of.

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greg101 · « **Reply #20 on:** March 12, 2019, 08:22:51 pm »

Quote from: Littlefoot on March 12, 2019, 08:18:49 pm

I've just remembered what this review reminds me of.

External Link/Members Only

Nice lol. The sound was like a pooter...

External Link/Members Only

Littlefoot · « **Reply #21 on:** March 12, 2019, 08:28:42 pm »

Quote from: greg101 on March 12, 2019, 08:22:51 pm

Nice lol. The sound was like a pooter...

External Link/Members Only

Hadn't seen that before.

denno · « **Reply #22 on:** March 13, 2019, 12:02:43 pm »

Best review ever

Hoping · « **Reply #23 on:** March 13, 2019, 01:05:33 pm »

0/10 a bit generous I would say.

Qestaff · « **Reply #24 on:** March 13, 2019, 01:34:56 pm »

Quote

So she is sucking away, I'm fingering her, then I smelt this nasty shitty smell and she farts. Stops what she is doing and a turd half pops out her arse and she looks back in horror and I tip her off me as the turd falls off on the bed and I jump off the other side. My cock flatlines. She looks at me, I'm looking at this turd. I'm feeling sick. I take the condom off, throw it in the bin, get dressed and leave.

0/10 fucking horrific. Not recommended. I'm not even going to bother linking photos.

Quote

What? I don't believe this! She gave you a free meal and u rejected it?shame on u!!

azrael · « **Reply #25 on:** March 13, 2019, 02:47:41 pm »

Quote from: Qestaff on March 13, 2019, 01:34:56 pm

What? I don't believe this! She gave you a free meal and u rejected it?shame on u!!

Cracked me right up that did

alibirmingham · « **Reply #26 on:** March 13, 2019, 05:54:07 pm »

Fucking disgusting is all I can say

I would of asked for my money back and if she refused I would of taken a shit right there on the bed and asked her how she liked that.

The Owl · « **Reply #27 on:** March 13, 2019, 06:01:15 pm »

I wonder if punters reading this thread go from getting pissed off when an escort texts to keep them waiting to messaging them back with 'no it's fine, take as long as you need to get ready'.

W_Punter · « **Reply #28 on:** March 13, 2019, 06:08:50 pm »

Quote from: The Owl on March 13, 2019, 06:01:15 pm

I wonder if punters reading this thread go from getting pissed off when an escort texts to keep them waiting to messaging them back with 'no it's fine, take as long as you need to get ready'.

Next punt, I'm going to ask the girl if she'd like to use the bathroom before we start

denno · « **Reply #29 on:** March 13, 2019, 08:45:27 pm »

To be fair she had got SHIT reviews

The man · « **Reply #30 on:** March 13, 2019, 09:53:56 pm »

Quote from: The Owl on March 13, 2019, 06:01:15 pm

I wonder if punters reading this thread go from getting pissed off when an escort texts to keep them waiting to messaging them back with 'no it's fine, take as long as you need to get ready'.

The man · « **Reply #31 on:** March 13, 2019, 10:00:53 pm »

To be fair she does have a warning on her profile : 'Do you offer anal? No sorry my anal skill is not so good because it is so very tiny and little and is in it's learning phase' she makes it sound like she's not moved on from stage 2 nappies yet!

Littlefoot · « **Reply #32 on:** March 13, 2019, 10:14:09 pm »

Quote from: The man on March 13, 2019, 10:00:53 pm

To be fair she does have a warning on her profile : 'Do you offer anal? No sorry my anal skill is not so good because it is so very tiny and little and is in it's learning phase' she makes it sound like she's not moved on from stage 2 nappies yet!

I didn't see that

at least she's being honest there.

John010116 · « **Reply #33 on:** March 13, 2019, 11:16:58 pm »

Shit day

Littlefoot · « **Reply #34 on:** March 13, 2019, 11:22:26 pm »

Quote from: alibirmingham on March 13, 2019, 05:54:07 pm

Fucking disgusting is all I can say

Punting is not for the squeamish.

azrael · « **Reply #35 on:** March 14, 2019, 10:54:59 am »

Quote from: alibirmingham on March 13, 2019, 05:54:07 pm

Fucking disgusting is all I can say

Quote from: Littlefoot on March 13, 2019, 11:22:26 pm

Punting is not for the squeamish.

So true, you'll be suprised at how many people enjoy hardsports out there. The serious amount punters /people out there that love getting thier freak on to this sort of stuff

greg101 · « **Reply #36 on:** March 14, 2019, 12:34:24 pm »

I got a text yesterday saying she was aware of the review and she is not very smiling and happy... whatever that means?

Kerosene · « **Reply #37 on:** March 14, 2019, 05:01:04 pm »

Quote from: greg101 on March 14, 2019, 12:34:24 pm

I got a text yesterday saying she was aware of the review and she is not very smiling and happy... whatever that means?

From her? That's a big black mark for discretion if she's sending unsolicited messages.

greg101 · « **Reply #38 on:** March 14, 2019, 05:12:20 pm »

Yep from her.

David50 · « **Reply #39 on:** March 14, 2019, 05:13:03 pm »

Quote from: Kerosene on March 14, 2019, 05:01:04 pm

From her? That's a big black mark for discretion if she's sending unsolicited messages.

Will what did she expect when she shit herself ?

Juankerr · « **Reply #40 on:** March 14, 2019, 06:08:07 pm »

Quote from: greg101 on March 14, 2019, 12:34:24 pm

I got a text yesterday saying she was aware of the review and she is not very smiling and happy

That's her tough shit!

lagosmargaret · « **Reply #41 on:** March 14, 2019, 06:13:28 pm »

Read this review on my phone whilst in the pub and nearly fell off my stool ! Jeez ! You're lucky the event happened in the turd phase of the punt ,when you'd got some money's worth at least. So she pulled some horrified fa(e)ces before it peeped out and said "Hello!",did she?

Obviously,your red card's passing a motion for the rest of us not to see her,bar the brown shower brigade.

Had her on my HL,have tried to contact her before,but put off as comms a bit scatty.She seems to log in to her AW profile regularly, obviously misunderstood the log out process somewhat,taking it to a whole new level . See she's got 3 negs on here,hats off to 121Jay for being bold and taking a number 2 for the team..........

Looks like I dodged a bullet - actually, a big brown torpedo

.Airhead forgot to tick off the Hardsports box on her AW............

LM

Littlefoot · « **Reply #42 on:** March 14, 2019, 06:17:24 pm »

Quote from: lagosmargaret on March 14, 2019, 06:13:28 pm

Read this review on my phone whilst in the pub and nearly fell off my stool ! Jeez ! You're lucky the event happened in the turd phase of the punt ,when you'd got some money's worth at least. So she pulled some horrified fa(e)ces before it peeped out and said "Hello!",did she?

Obviously,your red card's passing a motion for the rest of us not to see her,bar the brown shower brigade.

Had her on my HL,have tried to contact her before,but put off as comms a bit scatty.She seems to log in to her AW profile regularly, obviously misunderstood the log out process somewhat,taking it to a whole new level . See she's got 3 negs on here,hats off to 121Jay for being bold and taking a number 2 for the team..........

Looks like I dodged a bullet - actually, a big brown torpedo .Airhead forgot to tick off the Hardsports box on her AW............

LM

Good jobbie

The Owl · « **Reply #43 on:** March 14, 2019, 06:22:06 pm »

If she'd offered anal as a service this negative could have been a positive, OP's cock could have poked the turd back up her arse.

greg101 · « **Reply #44 on:** March 14, 2019, 06:43:42 pm »

Don’t know about brown girl in the ring, a fucking brown thing come out of her ring. Tra la la la la #BoneyM

Roadster · « **Reply #45 on:** March 15, 2019, 02:30:46 pm »

She's fucked off to Wales now. That review must have really dumped on her business.

alibirmingham · « **Reply #46 on:** March 15, 2019, 05:38:10 pm »

Quote from: azrael on March 14, 2019, 10:54:59 am

So true, you'll be suprised at how many people enjoy hardsports out there. The serious amount punters /people out there that love getting thier freak on to this sort of stuff

2 girls 1 cup

Enough said lol

People will Always have fetishes and indulge in them, no probs with that but when it’s not wanted, or expected it’s time for a refund. Wonder what her excuse was

azrael · « **Reply #47 on:** March 15, 2019, 06:15:46 pm »

Quote from: alibirmingham on March 15, 2019, 05:38:10 pm

Wonder what her excuse was

"Shit happens"

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Author Topic: Jassy Love BIRMINGHAM (Read 2164 times)

Roadster