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Author Topic: Pet hates - toilet paper  (Read 3387 times)

Offline maxxblue

I booked up with a lovely girl this evening. Luxurious discrete flat. Made most welcome and made to feel at ease. The type of girl you would marry. Started with a nice massage, which was very good, then proceeded to straddle me, reverse cowgirl position, while she played with me. Rock hard. Moved her gorgeous arse near my face, and...

... her ringpiece is covered in Andrex.

Mr Rock Hard makes a hasty retreat.

Has this happened to anyone else?

And does anyone have any equally horrible pet hates?

Offline Toshiba

Ermmmm no

Dont know what to say.......sorry but thats funny as fuck

Offline Philbiao1

Hahaha. Aw man, I thought I was the only one this happened to. I saw a lass and we got down to business, I asked for a 69 and I was about to bury my face in her when I noticed tiny bits of tissues all over her ring. Not a pretty sight at all.

This had only happened to me once in over ten years of punting.

Offline Tjkooker

Paid a small fortune for an "Italian" model. The reek of shit from her arse had me walking.
Banning reason: Outing and trolling a punter because he posted a negative about his favourite prossie. White-knight fluffy that pretends otherwise.

Offline mattylondon

I booked up with a lovely girl this evening. Luxurious discrete flat. Made most welcome and made to feel at ease. The type of girl you would marry. Started with a nice massage, which was very good, then proceeded to straddle me, reverse cowgirl position, while she played with me. Rock hard. Moved her gorgeous arse near my face, and...

... her ringpiece is covered in Andrex.

Mr Rock Hard makes a hasty retreat.

Has this happened to anyone else?

And does anyone have any equally horrible pet hates?
Oh fuck!  :scare:

I think the closest I've had to that was getting into a 69 a couple of times, with women who's arse smelt like they'd just had a shit and forgotten to wipe it or not do a very good job! Cue erection kill.   :vomit:
« Last Edit: February 09, 2014, 09:49:18 PM by mattylondon »

Offline SirFrank

Haha. Yuk that's gross. That's never happened to me but I've had the stale smell of shit a few times. It's the biggest turn off ever. In fact I've got a bit of sick in my mouth just thinking about it
Banning reason: Shitstirring against admin on behalf of banned member

... her ringpiece is covered in Andrex.

I would have expected the shower she had between her last punt/shit, would wash that away before our 'date'. Obviously not a courtesan even if the Andrex was nice quality  :lol:

Seriously though, I don't think I would be able to continue  :vomit:

Offline mattylondon

Haha. Yuk that's gross. That's never happened to me but I've had the stale smell of shit a few times. It's the biggest turn off ever. In fact I've got a bit of sick in my mouth just thinking about it
I've long been disabused of the notion that women are a lot cleaner than men! I think it's equal! One of my pet hates is the anticipation of a 69 and then the prossie asks if she can quickly go to the toilet, for a number 1 or 2?!  :vomit: As if I'm then going to put my face down there without her taking a shower.

Offline akauya

Something similar happened to me. I was a fucking a prossie in doggy when I couldn't help noticing a whiff of shit in the air. I thought it weird as we just had a shower together and me soaping her arse really well but then I remember that she had taken a while to come back to the room after the shower. I realised then that she had obviously popped to the bog whilst I was drying myself in the room.

Definitely put me off.



Offline MidlandsEscortxo

 :lol: .... and this is why I use baby wipes

Offline CBPaul

Not happened to me, who was she ? Where's the link ?

Booked a really petite Thai girl, offered herself up doggy, no lube used, she just said be gentle. Being a true gentleman I slowly slid in and was greeted with a succession of increasingly louder pussy farts. No great problem there, got all the way in and just started banging away when she let rip one of the longest and loudest arse farts I've ever heard. I think she'd be on a diet of eggs, cabbage and sprouts, the fucking smell permeated everywhere. Tried my best to go on and shoot as quickly as possible but it's difficult when your trying to hold your breath.

Offline Ali Katt

Not happened to me, who was she ? Where's the link ?

Booked a really petite Thai girl, offered herself up doggy, no lube used, she just said be gentle. Being a true gentleman I slowly slid in and was greeted with a succession of increasingly louder pussy farts. No great problem there, got all the way in and just started banging away when she let rip one of the longest and loudest arse farts I've ever heard. I think she'd be on a diet of eggs, cabbage and sprouts, the fucking smell permeated everywhere. Tried my best to go on and shoot as quickly as possible but it's difficult when your trying to hold your breath.
:lol: Best laugh I've had all day. I saw a prossie that pussy farted constantly to the point were it was no longer funny anymore, if anything it was quite embarrassing, but not the other end.


Offline Tjkooker

It's been pointed out elsewhere...... Are you sure it was Andrex and not some pinworms lol.
Banning reason: Outing and trolling a punter because he posted a negative about his favourite prossie. White-knight fluffy that pretends otherwise.

Offline SirPhilipXX

:lol: .... and this is why I use baby wipes

When I have arranged an outcall to my place, I keep a packet of Andrex Washlets handy. Similar to baby wipes but they are flushable, so no risk of blocking the loo.

Offline webpunter

I would have expected the shower she had between her last punt/shit, would wash that away before our 'date'. Obviously not a courtesan even if the Andrex was nice quality  :lol:

Seriously though, I don't think I would be able to continue  :vomit:

I have been literally crying with laughter reading this thread
And feeling a bit sick as well
Not one to read @ work me thinks
Question - was the Andrex quilted ?

Online Anadin

I've never seen anything but I've smelt something not quite fresh, although it wasn't a strong smell just not fresh. Considering how OCD I am when it comes to keeping clean for them it's a bit disconcerting, I think if I saw something down there this would be my reaction.


Online Corus Boy

One of Nadia Imani's favourite topics.

I still remember her discussing/telling me to that just wiping your arse isn't good enough and to ensure all traces of toilet tissue are removed  :lol:

Offline Daffodil

I booked up with a lovely girl this evening. Luxurious discrete flat. Made most welcome and made to feel at ease. The type of girl you would marry. Started with a nice massage, which was very good, then proceeded to straddle me, reverse cowgirl position, while she played with me. Rock hard. Moved her gorgeous arse near my face, and...

... her ringpiece is covered in Andrex.

Mr Rock Hard makes a hasty retreat.

Has this happened to anyone else?

And does anyone have any equally horrible pet hates?

I highly doubt that  :hi:

Offline CBPaul

Who was the Thai girl CBP?

Went by the name of Candy and operated out of a flat in Cambridge, long since gone though.

Who was the girl in your OP ?

Offline Cactus

I once had a lap dance in the Burke & hair in Edinburgh in my younger days, when most nights out ended up back there or the western across the road. Anyway, the lass had a perfectly rolled up small piece of paper right up her arse hole. WTF that was all about I'll never know.

On a recent very good punt, the girl indicated that as I was her first of the day & had a bit of a gap between me & the next punter, she wanted to get a bit kinky & cum hard. Her proposal for this was to insert a fairly large buttplug, ride me reverse cowgirl & we'd both watch the action in the mirror positioned at the end of the bed. I thought to myself, that sounds pretty damn good so away we went... 20 or so minutes later we'd both cum pretty hard. She hopped off, I took of my Johnny & disposed of it, couple of baby wipes later & I'm ready for a quick shower. She removes the plug from her arse, covered in shit, embarrassed she vanished to the bathroom. I then went in for my shower & noticed the plug was left sitting next to the sink, the stench of shit in the bathroom was incredible. So glad I'd came before the poop incidents, or it would have been game over!very good punt otherwise though!

Offline Gordo987

Pet hate? pet dogs!! Saw one daft blonde milf once somewhere near Sale who didn't seem to notice her stupid dog was in the room. It was in a private house, and the living room looked like a bomb site. She had a mattress on the floor which she sat on and started to get her kit off. For a moment I thought she was going to do some bestiality show with the mutt, so I just asked her if we could shut it in another room. She seemed a bit surprised but did it anyway. A really shit punt and I should have walked, but I thought there was a chance she might set her hound on me.  :crazy:
Banning reason: Sending abusive PM to admin

Offline maxxblue

I have been literally crying with laughter reading this thread
And feeling a bit sick as well
Not one to read @ work me thinks
Question - was the Andrex quilted ?

Of course it was quilted - she is a high class escort!

Offline MidlandsEscortxo

When I have arranged an outcall to my place, I keep a packet of Andrex Washlets handy. Similar to baby wipes but they are flushable, so no risk of blocking the loo.

That's what I use, just always call them baby wipes for some reason lol, also Tesco toddler wipes are pretty good as well :)

Offline webpunter

That's what I use, just always call them baby wipes for some reason lol, also Tesco toddler wipes are pretty good as well :)

On the toilet paper theme & reference to Tesco reminds me of a joke
Q:  how do you get in touch with your inner self ?
>
>
>
A:  buy tescos 'value' toilet paper
Boom boom..


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