After being stood up by Greek Anna from Escort Scotland, I tried to salvage things by contacting this Polish woman.
External Link/Members OnlyShe replied almost instantly to my text and we agreed to meet about an hour later.
Texted her for the flat number when I got to the location near Edinburgh university.
A rather dingy set of flats.
Once inside, I realise that the photos on her profile are definitely NOT her, not even close.
The woman before me is late 40’s. Overly skinny and mis-shapen in that middle aged woman way. Tits are a good C and real, but nothing like advertised.
I should have bailed at this point, but this was the back up plan. Big mistake.
Paid her for half an hour, £60.
We undress and she looks even worse when naked. Really narrow hips, baby pouch, loose skin, bizarre looking kooch.
I try to kiss her and her lips are as tight as a ducks arse. No DFK then, like we agreed.
I fondle her tits and they are ok. Natural at least. I keep her close so I can see little of the rest of her.
We move to the bed and she immediately pulls out a condom.
“I thought we agreed oral was without”, I said.
“I’m really good with”, she says as she puts it on with her mouth.
She isn’t.
Just awful BJ. Not talent at all.
I stare at the ceiling and think about someone else, trying to get hard.
After 5 minutes of thinking about last weeks punt with Isla Alba, I’m there.
She puts a large amount of KY up her snatch and even more on me.
It’s like fucking thin air in mish.
We switch to doggy, she positions herself oddly and it’s difficult. She won’t move.
I stand on one foot and can get a little more access, but still air fucking.
Ask her to go on top. She puts her hands on my chest and keeps pushing down really hard like she’s kneading bread. Lots of fake moaning.
I was truely baffled by what she was doing. Like she was having a fit. It was anything but sexy.
I’ve had enough of this at the 12 minute mark and tell her to stop. She jumps off and wrenches the condom off with a paper towel like she’s shucking corn. Ouch!
As she thinks I’ve cum, she starts to act like it’s all over.
It’s obvious there will be no round 2, not that I want one.
But I did pay for 30 mins.
I linger on the bed to see what she will do. Absolutely fuck all. She just stands staring at me from the other side of the room. I stare back, she starts to look uncomfortable.
I think fuck this, get up and get dressed.
So.
Not the girl in the pics.
10-15 years older, way uglier.
Does none of the services she says she will.
Once you pop (or she thinks you have) you are out of there.
I’d expect her to do the same if you paid for an hour.
Absolutely shite. AVOID!
