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Author Topic: What are your disappearing act Punting excuses  (Read 3251 times)

I've always been able to use my friends as any alibi for the women in my life but now they've all been asking deeper questions about my disappearing acts.
They all think I'm fighting crime  :rolleyes:

I usually used the "Met random person for a quick chat " which is almost the truth  :blush:
or
" Mate/colleague has a Spare ticket for A vs B " for the magical mystery tours
or
" Work course or lunches " for my favourites .

or just the old classic " sorry I'm late, traffic was murder " :thumbsup:



Offline KentAde

As I punt in my lunch-hour at work, mine is always "in a meeting"!

Offline CoolTiger

I initially thought the heading referred to excuses in walking away form a punt, or not turning up at a punt altogether, which I tohught would be a strange thread to start from an honest saint!!!  :D :D :D

Online smiths

I've always been able to use my friends as any alibi for the women in my life but now they've all been asking deeper questions about my disappearing acts.
They all think I'm fighting crime  :rolleyes:

I usually used the "Met random person for a quick chat " which is almost the truth  :blush:
or
" Mate/colleague has a Spare ticket for A vs B " for the magical mystery tours
or
" Work course or lunches " for my favourites .

or just the old classic " sorry I'm late, traffic was murder " :thumbsup:

Playing Golf has served me well over the years. I do actually play Golf but with a buggy can play a round in 2 hours or so but say it took 4 hours or so. I also dont say what course i am going to be playing on and have a dozen or so to choose from including new ones from time to time so even if she tried to find me she would have a job. She isnt even aware of most of the courses having no interest in Golf herself.

I try to avoid asking mates to cover for me and just say i am off to play a round with the lads at the club. Now if i havent got a mate playing partner this is true as i know enough players at the clubs to play a round with them, people my partner doesnt know and hasnt met.

Only if its lightning cant i play Golf, even in the rain or light snow i can say i am going to the Driving range. Being purposely vague as to my exact whereabouts is the crucial thing for me.

If a punter has a particularly nosey or devious partner wanting him to account for his every movement then he has problems. I wouldnt put up with that myself.

Other believable excuses have been on business in the past, again being vague was the key, and at the Gym years ago although saying i was in one fixed place isnt something i would say now, too easy to be checked up upon in my view.

Offline akauya

Before I got found out I was too cocky and used to say I'm off for an orgy dear - she used to think I was joking. Those were the days when I used to swing a lot with a lover and also punt at parties.

Nowadays I'm much more careful and punt during work.



Offline CBPaul

I punt during the working day, so don't have to give and excuse to anyone. Just in case Mrs CBP calls or figures out I wasn't in work I always have an excuse ready for being on the road.

Meeting a sub-contractor is my favorite. 

I work away quite a lot plus I have regualr hobbies that can incorprate a lost hour or two at the weekend

self employed so don't need any excuse to be out working any time of the day or night  :cool:

Offline AnthG

I think going to the gym is a very good one as this excuses clothes looking ruffled or different to how you went out, you coming back knackered, smelling of sweat, body odor and possibly even perfume (which you can explain away easier).

It also gives you an excuse to take a towel out with you too.

When I was in my last relationship I used to swim a lot. I would punt then go for a swim. Even if I was just in the pool for 5 mins or the jacuzzi I would have the smell of chlorine on me plus I could explain why I had had a shower and smelt of after shave. Was a great cover up


Offline SirFrank

I'm usually 'away with work'. I did actually do a bluff and txt the duchess to tell her I was fucking a prossie. She txt me back saying lol. Honesty is the best policy IMO
Banning reason: Shitstirring against admin on behalf of banned member

Offline Taggart

I tend to work in the time for punts in while I am on the road during the day, well away from home, or when I stay overnight somewhere, rather than 'disappear' and search for plausible excuses.

I tend to work in the time for punts in while I am on the road during the day, well away from home, or when I stay overnight somewhere, rather than 'disappear' and search for plausible excuses.
+1
or the reverse, when missus HP is out at work and i am home, I can pop out for a quick one if I have the car.

Offline willbred

Gym, swimming pool, out for a run all good as with first 2 have a shower afterwards. With a "run", provided I remember to actually jog the last few hundred metres back to the car / house, it's straight into the shower on arrival.

From work - lucky to have a job where I'm out most of the day seeing clients / "doing research", so fairly covered all round.
Banning reason: Multiple accounts (willbred, Diplomat65)

Offline CoolTiger

Gym, swimming pool, out for a run all good as with first 2 have a shower afterwards. With a "run", provided I remember to actually jog the last few hundred metres back to the car / house, it's straight into the shower on arrival.


also, worth putting the heating in the car to full blast, making you sweat as you're driving home.

Offline Daffodil

I call this practice 'time laundering'.

I only tend to punt when the girlfriend is at work or away. In the unlikely event she calls and wants to know why I didn't answer I just say on the golf course.

If you want to punt when she's around then having a hobby is a good idea. I got into swimming and would be down at the pool for extended periods for a bit and would disappear with my telescope and my 'telescope' for extended periods of time  :hi:

Offline akauya

I call this practice 'time laundering'.

I only tend to punt when the girlfriend is at work or away. In the unlikely event she calls and wants to know why I didn't answer I just say on the golf course.

If you want to punt when she's around then having a hobby is a good idea. I got into swimming and would be down at the pool for extended periods for a bit and would disappear with my telescope and my 'telescope' for extended periods of time  :hi:

Mate, you're giving too much info in case - if ever - someone you know lands on here. Easy to put 2 and 2 together I fear. I'd have these posts removed

Offline Daffodil

Mate, you're giving too much info in case - if ever - someone you know lands on here. Easy to put 2 and 2 together I fear. I'd have these posts removed

Don't you worry my friend. Many moons ago (excuse the pun)  :hi:

Offline akauya

Don't you worry my friend. Many moons ago (excuse the pun)  :hi:

No probs then. It's just that since I got found out - I'm fucking paranoid now :)

Offline Daffodil

No probs then. It's just that since I got found out - I'm fucking paranoid now :)

Better to be over-cautious than under.

I've been caught out, but only with civvies. Punting is much safer, but not fool-proof. You're right to err on the side of caution.

Offline CoolTiger

Don't you worry my friend. Many moons ago (excuse the pun)  :hi:

In a galaxy far, far away!!

Offline Iblisuk

self employed so don't need any excuse to be out working any time of the day or night  :cool:


Me too
Banning reason: Making false claims against moderation

I've usually got 'banking' to do at lunchtime, but having said that, the fire alarm at work keeps going off in the evening and I have to attend to reset it. :hi:


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