Primark in a Marks & Spencer’s bag
(
External Link/Members Only)
Sensual Samantha 777
Negative — Nothing harsh implied — just didn’t really enjoy it enough to say I liked it. Not been around much — on an extended break — so thought I’d add more than the couple of lines that’s more my style. I know many would like it more fluffy,... but there you go.
I don’t usually go for ‘milfs’ (grannyshags). but the occasional perv with a mummy machine can be ok — if she’s taken her valium and can use her years to advantage. I’ll get slagged for saying it, but the enthusiasm often pervading the reviews of her needs to be separated into some facts, so here goes ... “just my opinion” of course and “everybody has their own tastes” ... well here’s mine.
A massage for me is a treat — or should be. A relaxing experience for mind and body preferably with a sensuous shag or similar at a soft sigh’s notice. Something like Sweet-n-Petite used to do, or even Lucie (though Lucie only offered HJ and expensive at that).
First, the flat. Everything looked p promising. Cul-de-sac off the lower end of Easter Rd but new apartments, not at all like your average Hibs fan doorstop pissing-place. She’s ready on time, dressed nicely, invited me to the lounge, think I was offered a glass of water or something (whatever happened to cheap plonk?) and a bit of touchy-feely chat before my internal clock told her get her arse in gear.
The place was warm, nice room for the massage, candles, I’m almost about to be impressed. The towel to lie on wasn’t impressive but excusable seeing all the warm massage gel that was coming up.
Then the downsides. Radio FM doing continuous cringe material a la Lionel Ritchie and similar shite for an hour is not the best massage music. Get yourself a Reiki tape or something hen, or at least something a bit more sensuous than crap you used to listen to after being dumped for the third time in your younger days!
Switching off the gag reflex I laid back to enjoy a massage. Oh, ffs. She’s got some strokes ... but there are Roma cokeslags with more sensitivity to mood. The idea of creating an atmosphere to relax to went right out the sixth floor window. She seems agile enough — but continuous loud panting would make me wonder how she’s fit enough to carry a Lidl bag up the stairs. Is it real or meant to express ‘enthusiasm’. Fucking off-putting anyway. And let’s face it, she might be ‘good for her age’ if she’s well over her centennial, she’s petite, but I can’t say I thought she was attractive. Lots of class and it’s all working — working class in a posh flat. It shows in the face, a bit worse for wear, and the constant stream of rather irritatingly inane patter.
Yet I’ll admit she means well. Puts lots of effort in. All inclusive. No rush. Plenty of preparation. Works hard. Good on her for that. Just needs a granddaughter or someone to blow a wee bit of style up her arse and she’d be fine (especially if one can shut one’s eyes and think ‘attractive’).
I was going to give her a neutral because she does do a lot of stuff the cheapskate EEs don’t. Compared to a lot of the rubbish that’s out there she’s quite good. But a shortage of good massage joints is not the way to judge or say “she’s better than many”. She might put the effort in but in terms of enjoyment it was a neutral experience at best, and as I’m paying for it (100/hr), sorry hen, but no, it’s a negative. I wouldn’t return.
The attached image is not a picture of Sam. I started to put her picture up but thought there’s enough gruesome stuff you have to look at already.
The punt was a bit ...
Hidden Image/Members Only