I’m in process of organising a meeting with a genuine Sub sp, this is new territory for me as I usually go for straightforward GFE/PSE meets.
This particular sp mostly does solo camming for which she has a lot of great feedback. She does occasionally do escort meets but only one feedback for this.
I’m after some advice on what’s expected of me really. She’s into mild dom and fetish, so obviously I will be watching her with her toys etc but do I tell her what to do and how far can you usually go with joining in and getting off myself?
I have asked her to clarify boundaries etc but not got much back as yet so hoping some of you guys can give me a bit of practical advice from your experience with subs.
I know it might sound like hard work but she really is a great looking girl who I’ve fancied for a long time now so thinking it might be worth stepping outside my comfort zone and giving it a go.
Thanks in advance
SB
There's a pretty good book called BDSM 101 by Rev Jen if you are an absolute beginner and has some useful-ish tips, but the writing style is very easy to read if a bit jokey.
As I've said elsewhere I agree everything before hand often by email, but I have specific needs and desires, but what I am into isn't rare as such - I wouldn't want choke play or to whip a woman for example.
There are a few questions you should ask yourself: Are you dominant at work (I'm assuming you are not a student and if you are that is OK as well)? I work in a largely male dominated environment, it's a mixed trade, but just were I work is largely males so I give a lot of banter and have to sometimes do dominant tasks like issue disciplinary notices, believe it or not this meant it's not much of a leap being sexually dominant; of course some people are the opposite we all know of business women in high profile jobs that are incredibly submissive sexually or likewise the opposite is true sometimes the hard bastard rugby player who likes to dress as a sissy and be degraded by wearing women's make-up.
What do you want out of it? Are you being dominant because you think it is for you or are you doing it to prove a point? Is it who you are in other words? Of course you might not know.
Have you been dominant on punts before? Or in relationships or with sex with civvies? I think I was dominant from the start, but not to the extent where I was comfortable.
Are you a quick learner? I've made mistakes it is a learning curve and I am still learning. Nobody is Christian Grey from day one.
Are you good at giving clear, decisive instructions? Once again I do this at work, it's not a matter of life and death if I get it wrong, but it's so much easier if people know what to do. Also, I'm a straight to the point man. If you are a person that rambles or sound indecisive really reel it in a bit.
What sexual activities do you want to do? You mentioned toys, anything else? It's up to you what you share on here. I would avoid anything that requires tying someone up, anything rough or anything involving hard pain such as paddling.
Like I've said before on this board and even privately. There's people a lot more dominant than me on here and in real life, but I play to my strengths I am playful because well I like telling jokes and having fun, plus I have a filthy mouth so I bring that into the bedroom. My version of dom is pretty much my own version, maybe some would beg to differ, but I do my own thing and I think it would be hard to imitate if someone copied me exact, or maybe that's egotistical.
