External Link/Members OnlyFirst punt of New Year.Twin pumpkins were brimming with undischarged syrup, felt rather like that erstwhile character, Buster Gonad, of the 90s comic
Viz.
External Link/Members OnlyNo wonder everyone's been giving me strange looks recently....
Visited
Ardour4a
Whore to see what the craic was.Decided on a jaunt over to lovely Dudley/Yam-Yam ville
.Turned out to be a "Curates Egg" of a punt. Referee LM has brandished his very first grey card, other refs could've pulled out a red,depending on opinion.
Sexchanges: Initial call unanswered. Eventually got through half hour later-time/cock dock location confirmed .Circumstances on both sides resulted in meet commencing a bit late,hey ho.
Self-dealing booking process-Connor the Pimp notable by his absence- clear,polite + sympathetic manner,accurate control tower guiding in to her room.
9/10 Location + Strumpet's Crumpet Room: Major hotel downstream from the zoo. Obviously ample parking.Almost on-doorstep bus stops,Dudley Port station c.20mins walk .
Unmanned central check-in desk on entry/exit.Mingled with guests.Inconspicuous.
End- of- corridor,spacious ,no-frills room with decent shower. Clean towel + toiletries incl. mouthwash provided.Hygienic environment.
9/10 Coitus Coupons: 80 nicker : 30 ticker
5/10 The GirlProb. early -mid 30s ,IMO. Long dark brown hair.
5'7"(ish). Light blue eyes.
Size 8(ish),slim,flat tum. Attractive,fine-boned, long angular face.
Decent legs. Alopecic beaver.
Toned,narrow butt. Liberally tatted-body/arms/legs.
32" B/C (IMO) widely spaced silicones. Pleasant,humorous personality.
Nips skewed at odd angles. Red lingerie.
8/10 
Services -
Light K: OWO: First -spurt- only CIM 
: raincoated DoggieOffers A-levels,but didn't ask/ indulge.
Approached room,heard her setting up next punter's meet from behind door just before knocking
.Entered,a few pleasantries exchanged,cash-in-transit delivered,showered.
Dirty DeedsEmerged to find EL on her phone.
Initial decent back massage to warm up.Turned over with a semi-turgid truncheon, EL then proceeded to take time out to get a tissue to wipe him.Hello,I was seconds out of the shower and had fastidiously scrubbed the banana + cherries,otherwise what'd be the point? Killed the moment a tad,appendage started to soften.
Some good, sensuous, working of the chest and nipples with her tongue, occasional light kisses,and me stroking her neck,chest and jelly tots.Got the spanner hardened up again.Ramped up into an above-average bare BJ with decent eye contact.Tongue flicks around the bell,shaft tongue wiping,sloppy
.No attention to Santa's sack,however.Suspected she was trying to get me to spray prematurely, as some phases were at supersonic speed and had to signal for her to slow down......
Asked for the
Protective
Penile
Envelope,and we got into doggie.Unfortunately,an acrid aroma punched me on the nose like a Mike Tyson uppercut
-not a natural "aroused" feminine smell,more like the Prawn Cocktail frying vat in the Walkers Crisp factory.Eeew
.Ironically,she had been, unnecessarily, concerned about my Crown Jewel cleanliness
! Had to try and ignore this hardon-killing olfactory assault as I ferociously tunnelled into her spacious cavern,during which she proved she had a filthy gob and intermittently reached between her legs to tickle the danglers.Cum quick strategy,perhaps?
Partial to a bit of "A" level examination but didn't ask,for fear of any other odours that may jump out
.Sphincter wasn't the most attractive piece of art either.Almost like a minor prolapse
.Eventually felt the Tater Tapioca straining to eject,so withdrew and jerked into her mouth-major cum dodge here as she only took the first bullet volley and retreated to get rid.Apologies to you hotel cleaners for shampooing the carpet.Or did I do you a favour?
Leaving shower taken,dressed + back on her phone again as I came out ,then some small chat as I dressed.Left with a hug and kiss,a nice touch. Checked time,was there 22mins,including 2 3min showers.
6/10Critical Analysis+ves Good comms
Decent room
Slim,shapely body
Nice pert bum + legs
Attractive (IMO)
Friendly personality
Good OWO
Up for a heavy cock battering
-vesSurgically inept bolt-ons
No eggsack attention
Concerning pussy hygiene
Tissue wiping lark deflated mini-LM
Felt rushed
Cum dodged during CIM
Possible cum quick tactics
Only 15mins of action
Fully dressed as I left,potential hygiene issues between punters + conveyor belt service.
ConclusionSo,so wanted to edge this into v.weak positive territory as she is a lovely natured girl,had a good body bar the incongruous falsies + gave a good gob job,but not outstanding VFM IMO service-wise.80/30 for a decent dong hoovering and a few mins of hard pounding doesn't really cut it for me.Cum dodged during CIM,felt like an item on a Parcelforce sorting belt,and the fanny reek dealt a mortal blow to any positive review aspirations .
Maybe I caught her on the worst of her bad days?
Return? Doubt it.
Recommend? Your choice,YMMV.
Cheers,
LM
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