Fancied a massage - very few reviews on here and having read them I noticed some of the Thai massage shops are straight legit and you don't always know which. Besides, in Scotland any massage shop offering our services of any kind are apt to be raided very quickly. Few if any independents around, none with any reviews at all so here goes for a TOFT punt. Looked on Gumtree and saw loads of Thais, found this little ad and went for it.
Link:External Link/Members OnlySince this is a Gumtree link it will cease to be viable very quickly (in fact this one went up yesterday after my booking but is identical) so here's a bit of info on the ad itself. I searched using just the term massage and with a location of Aberdeen. There was a long list of results, the title of this one said "Black mature Lady offering massage" and the very short content was just "I am a black professional mature lady offering massage in a clean warm house. I use hot oils on a massage table. Please call me on xxxx to make an appointment thank you." although she did put her number there of course. In Gumtree's contact section it said contact Maria. The ad didn't mention her name anywhere else.
The appointment:Thursday 10th Jan 2018, 5pm, 1 hour £60
The woman:She is of course black and mature, a deep gold colour if that's important to you. I'd say mid 50s, bit of a belly on her, but not massive, an average middle aged woman. Looks wise she made me think of the oracle in The Matrix. Now this is an utter guess but her accent seems to be English and I'd say she might have originated from Jamaica or thereabouts. She was pleasant and fully engaged on me throughout.
Comms:Sent her a text the afternoon before and got an immediate response CALL ME (in caps), which is fair enough as she did say to call in her ad. Did that and repeated that I was interested in an appointment for the next day. She explained over the phone that she does a massage which is naked with a happy ending. Prices given were £40 for 30 or £60 for 60 minutes so opted for that. She asked me to text the next day to confirm I was coming. She then texted me her full address right after that initial conversation, a day in advance. Texted in the morning. Did so again about 2 and a half hours before the appointment and asked her to confirm all was OK and she texted back the single word yes about 30 minutes later, probably at the end of a booking, judging from the time, a good sign and indeed there was no phone near her during the appointment.
Location:Flat near Denburn multi-story, so parking is simple (it's pay and display so bring coins, about a pound an hour during day time). Arrived on time, buzzed in straight away. Rang door bell, heard her arrive quietly at the door so looked calmly at the magic eye and she let me in. Not the usual magic door but thought it was going to be at first but did see her face pop out from behind the door as I entered. She was dressed in a thin red robe, bare legs & flip flops.
Old flat, not decorated beyond a coat of paint in many years judging by the wood chip paper but in good order and very clean and tidy. The room itself had just a wooden massage table, nicely padded and then covered in towels, a small table with her tablet for music and the oil and a chair. The room was just the right size for this with room to move around comfortably but no bigger.
No sign of any other person in the flat, no other tables set up in other rooms - the doors were open. I'd say she's independent and I don't think the place is going to be raided, just my opinion of course. I say this as Scotland seems to jump on any massage shops doing happy endings (or more) very quickly so if you're visiting from Bristol or Manchester etc. where this is tolerated more then chose with this in mind.
The massage:No shower or bathroom visit of any kind offered.
A very pleasant massage, performed in black lacey bra and pants.
She asked if I liked jazz, which I do. This was probably more blues than jazz but a nice gentle background sound, none of the mad jumble of clashing sounds of everyone trying to play all the right notes in the wrong order and all at once as in modern jazz.
So there's no great pressure but it's not a tickle of feather-light strokes. She asked a few times if I was OK so there was opportunity to say if anything was wrong, at least during the massage itself. Otherwise there was no talking, I think she would chat if that's your thing but won't force it on you. I told her where I had some pain and she dealt with it without using pressure but it was effective so she does have a more than a reasonable clue what she is doing.
More to the point though, I got the first credit card swipe before too long. There were more of those as time went on, lots of inner thigh action which went right up to brushing my sack too. I can't get my head around how this worked, somehow these didn't seem very erotic (no idea why I think that) and yet all this was effective and the wee chap woke up. She even did do one reach under. Now this was great news as I do like a reach under. It was weird or at least unique though. She applied pressure to my perineum for some reason. In another massage, a tantric one, I've had that when I was going to pop too early when on my back but that took much pressure and was painful, this though was just some sort of massage and didn't kill nor increase my hard on. Apart from that, the cupping of my balls and gentle stroking of the shaft was very nice and pleasurable. Not the best reach under I've had but I was happy with it. (The best was Laura the Nuru Girl when I was in Glasgow, a much missed lovely young girl who's moved on).
Eventually she asked me to turn over, placed a pillow under my head and stroked up my legs from feet up to my chest whilst standing at my feet. At this point she took off her bra whilst behind my head, massaged my chest and paid much attention to my nipples which didn't react so she asked if I liked having my tits massaged, which made me stifle a laugh but it was good that she was trying to please and not do something I didn't like. Then she went to the main event, sadly checking with me ended there.
Up to now, I had loved every moment to one extent or another, all positive to this point, some OK, some great. This though was weird and I didn't like it one bit. With one hand her thumb and finger pressed hard on the base, with the other she pressed the chap towards my feet somewhat, not enough to hurt but it was uncomfortable. She held him in that hand and rubbed her thumb hard on the bell end, not the across the hole but on largest surface. Eventually gave a few strokes. Everything about it was wrong
. I had had to sit up to look at what she was doing as I couldn't work it out from the sensation but that's what I saw. Yes I did pop when she finally stopped that nonsense and used normal strokes but I didn't enjoy doing so.
No shower offered at the end, just allowed to take more wipes as I needed. Could definitely smell the oil on me despite her having wiped it off thoroughly with a roll of paper. In fact after I had showered when I got home I could still feel and smell the oil on me, during the shower the water was strongly repelled by it. It wasn't strongly scented or anything but I could smell it after a shower and still the next morning too. Two showers needed I think.
Verdict:Nice lady, good or even great location, nice massage, reasonable price, bad finish, no shower.
If I hated the ending why the neutral? Because I'm taking into account that I often feel negative at the end as no matter how good it's always an anticlimax, despite the climax. It's always been better than this though. However the massage really was good and, unlike many, did have credit card swipes and a reach under.
Would I go back? Yes but only for the massage, I'd insist on not including the finish.
