External Link/Members OnlyDeath by breasts... oh my what a crock of shit.
Derbyshire Ashbourne
ok so heres the saga.
as a boob man I thought I would give these 2 a try, that was back in July 2018, tried to book them repeatedly and there was always a reason why it couldn't happen but I kept trying.
Its worth saying at this point that these skanks turn up, do a few days then disappear off of AW and then reappear, so its not like you can get in touch easily.. its been pot luck.
Anyway I'm patient, and yesterday the opportunity arose again, so I messaged them at 8 am. no reply then I tried texting .. no reply
so later when I was not around people I called, and got a really dopey woman on the end of the line , her response was such that I thought I had misdialled and almost hung up...
"Hello, I'm Dave I was phoning to see if you have any availability today please?"
I would have thought a reply of , oh hello, yes we have or sorry no we don't would have been reasonable to expect. I certainly wasn't expecting,
"eh what you on about?? "
But eventually she started responding appropriately and we arranged a time.
the place
small end cottage on a hill, .
Nice enough, room was ... a room clean no problem
the girls..
ok so 1 was tall good legs not a bad body, face.. not great but you could tell she thought she was hot shit...
shes not
but compared to girl 2 she was fit as f***. girl 2 is big.. very big indeed. which is an achievement considering one of the delightful subjects discussed throughout the encounter was her, tummy tuck flabby skin removal
and her gastric band (turned on yet?) not awfull looking to be fair but her.. tits I suppose we have to call them... well they were more like land slides on a hill side, no shape form.. nothing.
About as sexy as bag of manure.
the event!
this is a no sex service which is made clear, and was clear nothing would be any different in the room
so I arrived and was asked to pop upstairs strip off and get comfy on the bed, which i did... and waited... and waited.. and waited. i looked at my phone they had been 12 minutes.. i was not impressed i was literally about to walk and they shouted up, just coming.. a minute or 2 no problem, perhaps 5 minutes if they keep you in the loop " sorry be with you in a minute" but to just keep me waiting was, bollocks.
anyway, I waited another minute or 3 and heard them coming in walks the first slim one ( sorry i didnt catch their names so I'll call em fatty and thin) so thin starts the massage
let me describe the massage and this is no exaggeration, she literally just touches you randomly half arsed half asleep no vim or vigour just ... touches.. ( i know who i was speaking to on the phone i thought) anyway eventually fatty comes in (was probably eating) she then joins in with what was probably meant to be a 4 hand massage but both were leaning with one arm and pestering me with the other son in fact i got the worst ever 2 hand massage between them.
the conversation..
literally them talking about other blokes they had fucked, married men they had seduced knowing they were married but " I wanted him so I got him" how she'd shagged 3 blokes in a day ( not as a WG just as a slag I presume) tummy tucks surgery etc just a chat amongst themselves really, and nothing i wanted to hear, eventually they flip me over and fatty takes my lariot in her hand and starts blowing on it, are we going to see your tits I politely asked, oh yes shal i get em out!!!
HELLO!!!! then they tell me.. and this is a cracker given the name death by breasts, you cant play with our nipples....... WHAT!??
no im really sensitive says thin.. i looked at her in disbelief. you cant sell it titty service and ban nipple play ffs at this point i just wanted to leave it had been a joke and had half composed this report, in my head.. thats how engaged i was with their bollocks.
anyway fatty starts bashing at the old man, thin puts her tits in my face.. i spuff on the spot, get up and leave.
gents, this is a well rehearsed "performance" that I believe to have been an utter waste of time, it wasn't sexy it wasn't enjoyable it sure as hell wasnt value at £150 for the hour.
you would surely only go to see these as a boob lover and expect a booby experience, but to have restrictions put in place.. on the boobs ffs what a joke, to keep you waiting 15 minutes... appalling comms don't answer messages don't answer texts etc, just bad bad bad!
Up to you its your money but honestly this is as bad as it gets in my opinion, taking us blokes for mugs and we nod and say ok coz our dicks rule our heads a times...
I would say avoid, you will leave disappointed, and will have seen precious little as far as boobs are concerned!!
Death by boredom would be more appropriate
Topic: death by breasts! - Ashbourne - Derbyshire (Read 2214 times)
