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External Link/Members Only -
Merry Christmas one and all!
How sad of me to be posting reviews on Christmas morning; perhaps a window into my life, or maybe just a way to avoid yet another mince pie....
Anyhow onto the review.
So, from time to time I am my worst enemy and this punt perfectly demonstrates that.
Date & time: Saturday 22nd December 2.30pm.
Location: Average/reasonable house in TW7 opposite the park.
Comms: This was the first obvious pointer that i was making a mistake - all by text - initially enthusiastic, then she kept me waiting with the full address to the extent that 2.00 became 2.30.
Venue: Fit for purpose; wasn't offered use of bathroom, just straight into a scruffy, very untidy bedroom with a smelly old mattress. the signs were all there - but Christmas horn curtosy of the blue pill had kicked in.
The WG: Very disappointing; i was greated by a middle aged (somewhat) pot-bellied scruffy blonde and immediately thought she was the maid, so was somewhat taken-aback when she (once in the room) presented herself as the WG. If you look at the profile picture then you could be fooled (as i was) as it is probably her.... taken a decade ago.... and of course you cannot see her body. The good part was that her tits were absoultely enormous and (importantly for me) real. I should have walked, but didn't largely due to size of the mellons, both probably the size of a rugby ball.
The service: I want to say dreadful, but it wasn't. We agreed OWO and FK over text, but neither were offered or delivered - at least she didn't try to charge extra - instead the condom went straight on and she morphed into a vacuum cleaner to such an extent that i was clinging to the mattress to avoid being completely sucked in - boy this woman is a machine i thought..... so as i lay there i saw what would once have been a "yummy mummy" but has now tipped over the point of "gone to seed" doing her absolutel damndest to deliver a poor serve (OW) as best she could.
At my age I'm reduced to being a one-pop-per-hour old boy; as we hit the 40 minute mark (or constant BJ) I could take no more so had to go for the fuck. She rolled into missionary and I was guided in to a loose place with only the sight of two Zepellins for stimulation.... unfortunatley, the combined thickness of the condom, gallon of lube that had been subtely introduced and the resulting lack of traction meant that despite the efforts of the blue pill i began to quickly falter so had to settle for wanking over the twin Sydney-Opera houses.
I was cleaned up with wet wipes - no offer of a shower - yet she was so full of smiles, niceness and kindness (she fusses around to make sure you are ok) that there is absolutely nothing to dislike about her.
Conclusion: - would i return? Niope. I think that she should rethink her profile and be honest that she is a mid-so's milf with massive knockers; add that to honesty about her enjoys list and she'd be a star - for me though she was/is a strong negative saved by the skin of her teeth to neutral due to her friendly nature - oh and her obvious assets.
