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Author Topic: How you feel about cheating  (Read 10170 times)

Offline howardtom1990

So I've been a regular punter for a few months now. Finding the odd hour here or there a couple of times a month to try something different.

I have a wife who I love dearly but I never really think about it until I'm on my way home, I don't necessarily regret it, I just feel quite guilty.

Just wondered what you guys who are married, or have a girlfriend I guess, feel about it before and after?


vorian

  • Guest
So I've been a regular punter for a few months now. Finding the odd hour here or there a couple of times a month to try something different.

I have a wife who I love dearly but I never really think about it until I'm on my way home, I don't necessarily regret it, I just feel quite guilty.

Just wondered what you guys who are married, or have a girlfriend I guess, feel about it before and after?

Guilt is a negative and destructive emotion like jealousy.  No advantage to be gained so ignore it.

Offline smiths

So I've been a regular punter for a few months now. Finding the odd hour here or there a couple of times a month to try something different.

I have a wife who I love dearly but I never really think about it until I'm on my way home, I don't necessarily regret it, I just feel quite guilty.

Just wondered what you guys who are married, or have a girlfriend I guess, feel about it before and after?

I have been cheating on partners all my adult life and am very practised at it now, being selfish i put my desire to punt first and do so without guilt as guilt would spoil it for me. I want to punt for the sex, and a relationship for sex and love, a case of wanting my cake and to eat it.

Tjkooker

  • Guest
What no review ?? :thumbsdown:

What.... you want a review of the guys wife. Whatever floats yer boat

Sailormack

  • Guest
So I've been a regular punter for a few months now. Finding the odd hour here or there a couple of times a month to try something different.

I have a wife who I love dearly but I never really think about it until I'm on my way home, I don't necessarily regret it, I just feel quite guilty.

Just wondered what you guys who are married, or have a girlfriend I guess, feel about it before and after?

If your Mrs doesn't seem to bothered about what you're doing, it might be a sign she's smashing your best man  :kissgirl:

Offline seeker

He says he's been a punter for a few months sooooooooo
You following this TJ
He must have rattled a few prossies :hi:

Tjkooker

  • Guest
Well I dont think he is looking to talk about the prossies here. More trying to get a bit of the guilt off his chest.
If you want reviews there's thousands of them in the imaginatively titled "review" section.

kyjahaha

  • Guest
So I've been a regular punter for a few months now. Finding the odd hour here or there a couple of times a month to try something different.

I have a wife who I love dearly but I never really think about it until I'm on my way home, I don't necessarily regret it, I just feel quite guilty.

Just wondered what you guys who are married, or have a girlfriend I guess, feel about it before and after?


The way I see it its this, men are designed to spread seeds and its our natural instinct, that is how we are programmed and born with. It's natural desire for men to seek sex withe different people. The society, women and morals are heavily against our nature and we are suffering and getting punished for it which I think it is unfair.

Women do cheat but they are rarer than men since their body is designed to keep the baby and they will be responsible for it so they can be very picky and take less risks, more likely to stick to one stable partner to raise the kid.


the pussy man

  • Guest
I feel guilty when I have had a punt where I really connect with the girl.  My last punt was a 1hr outcall, where the girl stayed for 4 hrs because we got on and the sex was amazing.  I'm still feeling guilty about it a week later!

When its just sex and there's no real connection I don't feel much guilt.  The way I see it is my alternatives are...

1. Leave my wife and child
2. Have casual sex with normals
3. Have another affair
4. See escorts
5. Stay with my wife but never have sex again

Tony Montana

  • Guest
I don't feel guilty, but I wonder if sometimes I should feel guilty about not feeling guilty IYKWIM.

Offline mr-oraltastic

I always think of it as going to the gym and having a good work out

Offline CBPaul

I've never felt the slightest pang of guilt.

In my younger days I didn't punt when I had a girlfriend, sex with a new girlfriend was always way better than punting sex and I didn't stick with anyone long enough for the sex to deteriorate. In the first few years of marriage I didn't punt but eventually drifted back - it's a hobby that never leaves you ! In fact my first punt was with a street girl, gorgeous - didn't belong on the streets, and afterwards the thoughts were all of getting to repeat the performance, not guilt.

Now I have sex for an hour or so and that's all it is. If I did ever feel a closer bond with a WG then that may be a different matter.

Guilt, NO but the fear of getting caught, YES. But I still punt. 

Toshiba

  • Guest
I think if ypu have done it more than once then you are passed guilt

I have a GF and no i dont actually feel guilt, ive cheated all my life, because i like good sex regularly and ive hardly found a partner the wanted the same filth as me

In regards to punting its the ideal scenario for me but the biggest fear is STD's and the main reason ive never punted since august, it scares me as i still want my life with my partner who to be fair is a good fuck . But guilt? No not really and it doesnt stop the vast majority of blokes when push comes to shove

Offline hendrix

I'm totally selfish. Works for me.

potato

  • Guest
My male dictionary does not list the word guilt.    I can separate the two women in my life quite easily. I wouldn't swap my missus for anyone ( then again, a lottery win might tempt me...)  My regular girl is for fun and sex and that's all.  It could be argued that my regular actually keeps my marriage together and its better and less complicated than having an affair.  So long as you can separate the two in your head there isn't a problem.  I wouldn't have dreamed of straying over the first couple of years of marriage - but then again I had no need to, as i was fully catered for at home. Now its different because women seem to change over the years whereas I haven't. I like my life the way it is - a nice stable home life where we are the best of friends but no more than that and a secret life where I can fill my boots without any emotional attachment.

Londondave

  • Guest
I don't feel guilty, but I wonder if sometimes I should feel guilty about not feeling guilty IYKWIM.

My feelings exactly.  ( except had to google IYKWIM for meaning  :D )

Offline Tailpipe

I have been cheating on partners all my adult life and am very practised at it now, being selfish i put my desire to punt first and do so without guilt as guilt would spoil it for me. I want to punt for the sex, and a relationship for sex and love, a case of wanting my cake and to eat it.


Cracking Quote . Love it . I gave up years ago trying to work out why. Love and sex have little connection.

If Sex is a need go punt,  however if her in doors finds out get your chq book at the ready , as most will see your hobby
as , lack of fulfillment on there part , this is often the reason for punting in the first place.

Offline Crazydave

When I first started punting I used to feel guilty, but a couple of days later it went away. Nowadays I don't feel guilty at all. The only thing I think about after a punt now is which WG I'll be visiting next.

Been punting since I was 18. That was twenty years ago.

willbred

  • Guest
In my 27 years' punting, I will readily confess to having had pangs of guilt in the early stages. Not enough to put me off and over time lost the feelings altogether.

Offline KentAde

When I first started punting I used to feel guilty, but a couple of days later it went away. Nowadays I don't feel guilty at all. The only thing I think about after a punt now is which WG I'll be visiting next.

Been punting since I was 18. That was twenty years ago.

+1

Rochdull lad

  • Guest
I know I'd have to give up punting if I were married/in a Relationship.  I'm not and my age makes it unlikely that I will be.

Simply because I'm such a rotten liar; I blush easily and it'd be a dead giveaway.  It always was with the late Mrs R L.

Toshiba

  • Guest
My male dictionary does not list the word guilt.    I can separate the two women in my life quite easily. I wouldn't swap my missus for anyone ( then again, a lottery win might tempt me...)  My regular girl is for fun and sex and that's all.  It could be argued that my regular actually keeps my marriage together and its better and less complicated than having an affair.  So long as you can separate the two in your head there isn't a problem.  I wouldn't have dreamed of straying over the first couple of years of marriage - but then again I had no need to, as i was fully catered for at home. Now its different because women seem to change over the years whereas I haven't. I like my life the way it is - a nice stable home life where we are the best of friends but no more than that and a secret life where I can fill my boots without any emotional attachment.


Bang on with this fella

Scarlet Redd

  • Guest
Unless you are falling in love with the escort you are seeing then there is no cheating going on.

You don't need to feel guilty if you are seeing an escort to keep your marriage a happy one.

It is a fact that many women lose the urge to have sex after giving birth, falling ill or after the menopause. The husband still loves their wives to bits, but still has his male urges.

An escort is providing a no-strings service to help with this.

vorian

  • Guest
Unless you are falling in love with the escort you are seeing then there is no cheating going on.

You don't need to feel guilty if you are seeing an escort to keep your marriage a happy one.

It is a fact that many women lose the urge to have sex after giving birth, falling ill or after the menopause. The husband still loves their wives to bits, but still has his male urges.

An escort is providing a no-strings service to help with this.

Quite right I feel than WG's have saved far, far more marriages, than silly books on romance. That's for sure.

Offline Daffodil

Unless you are falling in love with the escort you are seeing then there is no cheating going on.

You don't need to feel guilty if you are seeing an escort to keep your marriage a happy one.

It is a fact that many women lose the urge to have sex after giving birth, falling ill or after the menopause. The husband still loves their wives to bits, but still has his male urges.

An escort is providing a no-strings service to help with this.

This is of course nonsense, but I wish all those wives out there accepted it.

By this logic, as long as I'm not falling in love, I could go out and have one night stands, mistresses, etc.

If you're in a relationship then fucking prossies is cheating  :hi:

the pussy man

  • Guest
This is of course nonsense, but I wish all those wives out there accepted it.

By this logic, as long as I'm not falling in love, I could go out and have one night stands, mistresses, etc.

If you're in a relationship then fucking prossies is cheating  :hi:

i think that most women would agree with you Daffodil, however not everyone would.  each couples relationship is different and every person will have a different idea on fidelity.  it depends on so many things.

i for instance would love it if my wife saw men for no strings sex.  would be a turn on for me for sure....  she on the other hand would probably not feel the same about me  :diablo:

Offline Daffodil

i think that most women would agree with you Daffodil, however not everyone would.  each couples relationship is different and every person will have a different idea on fidelity.  it depends on so many things.

i for instance would love it if my wife saw men for no strings sex.  would be a turn on for me for sure....  she on the other hand would probably not feel the same about me  :diablo:

Well yes, but that's a different type of relationship. This is a thread about guilt. If you're in a non-exclusive relationship then that's grand, but I don't think that is what we're discussing in this thread.

I feel guilty after a punt as like the OP I love my wife but on the other hand if she was up for a bit of hide the salami every now and again then it wouldn't be an issue  :)

The guilt is not as bad as the blind panic on the way there when you realise you have left the pc on the WRONG site at home though!!


the pussy man

  • Guest
I feel guilty after a punt as like the OP I love my wife but on the other hand if she was up for a bit of hide the salami every now and again then it wouldn't be an issue  :)

The guilt is not as bad as the blind panic on the way there when you realise you have left the pc on the WRONG site at home though!!

ha ha !  done that.

i agree with you mate.   the wives must know that men need sex to be happy.  it's not exactly a secret is it.  they must know deep down that you will start looking if they aren;t up for it, and if they leave it long enough....

Roland D Hay

  • Guest
I've always had a view that what they don't know doesn't hurt em, but neither can wives and girlfriends claim ignorance as to what happens to men who go without sex. To be honest I wish I'd discovered punting when I was younger because I cheated then with civvie girls and that brings a whole load of complications. No matter how much civvies claim that they're happy with a casual relationship they never are.
We might all have different definitions of 'cheating' and that's fine but I think the key question you have to ask yourself is 'how would I feel about cheating if I got caught?' What if my wife, kids and relatives find out that my hobby is pumping prossies? Only this will contextualise your actions and truly focus your true feelings. I've been caught and I was indignant about the situation, she wasn't interested in sex so what did she expect. We're no longer together and that's fine because I'd already thought through that scenario and was prepared for that particular consequence.

Rochdull lad

  • Guest
. . .  I think the key question you have to ask yourself is 'how would I feel about cheating if I got caught?' What if my wife, kids and relatives find out that my hobby is pumping prossies? Only this will contextualise your actions and truly focus your true feelings.

I agree with you, Roland; the answer will almost certainly be different for each of us.

Offline YoungBrom

Sorry to revive such an old thread but this has been on my mind all day.

My situation is such that I am in a relationship (not married) and my gf does everything to please me, is good looking and I'm most definitely in love but I have punted recently and do feel guilt because IF this was the other way around and I found out I'd surely consider it as cheating. Anyone else agree with this?

Offline shaunogg

Sorry to revive such an old thread but this has been on my mind all day.

My situation is such that I am in a relationship (not married) and my gf does everything to please me, is good looking and I'm most definitely in love but I have punted recently and do feel guilt because IF this was the other way around and I found out I'd surely consider it as cheating. Anyone else agree with this?

Its not guilt, its buyers remorse. Just move on.

Offline notcalledchris

Don't  worry too much about it.  To my mind it is perfectly natural to be in love with  your partner and be turned on by your partner and enjoy sticking your cock in tight young whores.  You should only feel guilty  if you harm your partner so just becareful not to harm her - take care to aviod your punting causing health, money or other problems for her. If you do that then forget about the guilt and if you enjoy your punts then enjoy your punts.  Do you feel guilt about your fantasies youd porn or your wanks?  No.  Then to my mind your shouldn't about an occasion al punt either.

Offline rogercock00

Unless there are emotions involved, there is no cheating in my view - this is sport, simple as that  :cool:

I did however have similar guilt feelings at the beginning of my punting career but they soon subsided over time. You need to stop being too hard on yourself as an unattached punt is a much much better option than meeting a partner and starting an affair which is costly, messy and will only hurt many people.

If your partner / wife ever found out and throws a tantrum, tell her that it is all her fault - if she put out like she should do then you wouldn't have had to punt. Remind her that at least you didn't plump for an emotional affair. Blame her, she will deserve it the frigid mare  :mad:

Offline stonebow1

Pumping a random EE vagina to get my end away isn't going to change the way i feel about a girl i love. Do you feel guilty when you masturbate over a woman other than your SO? If anything i feel like the odd release elsewhere makes my relationship healthier opposed to if i was forcibly abstaining from my natural desire to fuck as many women as possible. If nobody finds out nobody gets hurt, i am definitely way happier and feel no guilt whatsoever because imo there's nothing to feel guilty about.

Of course not all men will feel the same but that is one of the great things about human beings :)

Ludwig

  • Guest
...To my mind it is perfectly natural to be in love with  your partner and be turned on by your partner and enjoy sticking your cock in tight young whores. You should only feel guilty  if you harm your partner so just be careful not to harm her ...
Unless there are emotions involved, there is no cheating in my view - this is sport, simple as that  :cool:

If your partner / wife ever found out and throws a tantrum, tell her that it is all her fault - if she put out like she should do then you wouldn't have had to punt. Remind her that at least you didn't plump for an emotional affair. Blame her, she will deserve it the frigid mare  :mad:

Really guys ? You think ?  Try offering up that mass of rationalisations to your other half when she discovers that behind her back you've been blowing your beans over some hooker's lipgloss & mascara ...





Sorry to revive such an old thread but this has been on my mind all day.
My situation is such that I am in a relationship (not married) and my gf does everything to please me, is good looking and I'm most definitely in love but I have punted recently and do feel guilt because IF this was the other way around and I found out I'd surely consider it as cheating. Anyone else agree with this?

This is not rocket science.  If you're in a relationship, and you engage in any sexual activity with anyone else (whore or civvy) without your missus's consent or blessing  =  it's cheating - no matter how you may try to dress it up or justify it...

If that causes you any feelings of guilt & that guilt bothers you, then either dump your GF or don't cheat   :unknown:



I've been a selfish bastard my entire life in relation to satisfying my own sexual pleasure, and I've cheated on my various partners at any & every opportunity throughout my adolescence & adulthood.  So fortunately I have absolutely no emotional hang-ups about punting ...

I still take care not to get caught, but only because I don't want to deal with the practical fall-out, & not because I place the emotional pain my other half may suffer above my own selfish desires...

I may be a cunt but I'm not a deluded hypocritical cunt ...

« Last Edit: September 23, 2016, 01:49:12 am by Ludwig »

Noah Hope

  • Guest
Unless there are emotions involved, there is no cheating in my view - this is sport, simple as that  :cool:

I did however have similar guilt feelings at the beginning of my punting career but they soon subsided over time. You need to stop being too hard on yourself as an unattached punt is a much much better option than meeting a partner and starting an affair which is costly, messy and will only hurt many people.

If your partner / wife ever found out and throws a tantrum, tell her that it is all her fault - if she put out like she should do then you wouldn't have had to punt. Remind her that at least you didn't plump for an emotional affair. Blame her, she will deserve it the frigid mare  :mad:

Bollocks.
Where's the MumsNet thread saying thank goodness he saw a prostitute and didn't get emotionally involved.
They're all saying pathetic wanker couldn't even have an affair had to pay for it.
If your missus isn't putting out what's wrong with talking to  her about it or finding her a hot boy polyamorousssssed thing ecc ecc
But please excuse my rudeness 40% vol black cow milk vodka drunk

Offline hullad

I love my wife and would not want to hurt her, she knows nothing of my other punting life and no one else does.  She removed herself from the sex side years ago we have shagged once this millenium  and that was back in 2002 ish. I did have a relationship with some one at work for around ten years, just sex we both wanted. Went well until I decided too take early retirement over two years ago and she felt I betrayed her by me leaving. It fizzled out and thats when I discovered punting.

I do not and never have felt guilty, in fact I think I would have found some civillian who wanted more then a weekly shagging session and fucked the sexless wife off. This punting will cease soon enough as my age increases and my urge decreases and I am seeing the old girlfriend  this afternoon for a drink .

You only pass this way once, its not a practice ......
« Last Edit: September 23, 2016, 10:26:54 am by hullad »

will-ow

  • Guest
I agree with some of the guys, how if i actually really click with the girl, i can feel more guilty then a solid fuck sesh. But ive had serious relationships before where ive found punting has helped me be a better boyfriend, i mean... we all get the feeling where youve not had sex for a long time and your balls may burst at a woman's touch. At least punting made me be more calm and attentive at home. But recently single again so no more worries

mediumjoe

  • Guest
es and I am seeing the old girlfriend  this afternoon for a drink .

    That's a nice euphemism you've got there Hullad ! Best of luck -and don't get caught. Joe

Offline budz

I felt guilty after my 1st punt 6 months ago,  now I don't give a shit and some days when I'm being nagged it just makes me book another one

Offline stevedave

It's not really in the human nature to be in long term, monogamous relationships. The base instinct of any man, whether they choose to admit it or not - is to fuck as many women as possible, to spread their seed as far and wide as possible. Yes, we now practice safe sex, use condoms etc, but the base instinct is still there.

I'm not saying don't have relationships, but in my experience there is only a finite amount of time that having sex with just one woman is satisfying...whether through familiarity, or that over time things slow down to a halt in some cases.

If you are in a long term relationship, punting is a good and easy get out clause, devoid (hopefully) of any emotion and purely a means to fuck, and indulge in the basic, primeval needs that men have.

Offline rogercock00

Really guys ? You think ?  Try offering up that mass of rationalisations to your other half when she discovers that behind her back you've been blowing your beans over some hooker's lipgloss & mascara ...


This is not rocket science.  If you're in a relationship, and you engage in any sexual activity with anyone else (whore or civvy) without your missus's consent or blessing  =  it's cheating - no matter how you may try to dress it up or justify it...

If that causes you any feelings of guilt & that guilt bothers you, then either dump your GF or don't cheat   :unknown:


I've been a selfish bastard my entire life in relation to satisfying my own sexual pleasure, and I've cheated on my various partners at any & every opportunity throughout my adolescence & adulthood.  So fortunately I have absolutely no emotional hang-ups about punting ...

I still take care not to get caught, but only because I don't want to deal with the practical fall-out, & not because I place the emotional pain my other half may suffer above my own selfish desires...

I may be a cunt but I'm not a deluded hypocritical cunt ...

You need to get a fucking grip  :angry:

Offline rogercock00

Bollocks.
Where's the MumsNet thread saying thank goodness he saw a prostitute and didn't get emotionally involved.
They're all saying pathetic wanker couldn't even have an affair had to pay for it.
If your missus isn't putting out what's wrong with talking to  her about it or finding her a hot boy polyamorousssssed thing ecc ecc
But please excuse my rudeness 40% vol black cow milk vodka drunk

:sarcastic:

Do you not think many punters on here have done that, tried that etc etc etc? Talk about nieve.

So where does that leave us now then?, we have tried to be patient, understanding and rational - the result has been yet more barren spells of nothing. So lets either punt and keep it hidden and try to live a satisfied normal life or lets have an affair, get caught in a tangled web of emotion, lies and watching over your shoulder where two families invariably get hurt..........
« Last Edit: September 25, 2016, 03:56:17 pm by rogercock00 »

Offline unclepokey

Even though I feel a genuine warmth and friendship for the women I shag - especially the three or four I see three or so times a year and have done for some time - I don't feel I'm cheating on Auntie.
Auntie and I have a totally loving bond but she just isn't interested in Uncle's bits or his sexual needs.
That's fine with me. I enjoy the variety and thrill of sex with skilled practitioners.
Uncle Pokey

Offline MrMatrix

I love my wife and would not want to hurt her, she knows nothing of my other punting life and no one else does.  She removed herself from the sex side years ago we have shagged once this millenium  and that was back in 2002 ish. I did have a relationship with some one at work for around ten years, just sex we both wanted. Went well until I decided too take early retirement over two years ago and she felt I betrayed her by me leaving. It fizzled out and thats when I discovered punting.

I do not and never have felt guilty, in fact I think I would have found some civillian who wanted more then a weekly shagging session and fucked the sexless wife off. This punting will cease soon enough as my age increases and my urge decreases and I am seeing the old girlfriend  this afternoon for a drink .

You only pass this way once, its not a practice ......
+1 , Hulllad. I'm in pretty much the same position as you. In fact it eerily is the same as you. Just I've never had the affair. And "You only pass this way once, its not a practice ......" is one of my OH's phrases and she is always right  :hi:

Offline bangstick

Bollocks.
Where's the MumsNet thread saying thank goodness he saw a prostitute and didn't get emotionally involved.
They're all saying pathetic wanker couldn't even have an affair had to pay for it.
If your missus isn't putting out what's wrong with talking to  her about it or finding her a hot boy polyamorousssssed thing ecc ecc
But please excuse my rudeness 40% vol black cow milk vodka drunk


Thing with mumsnet like any forum is everyone's got an opinion.

It's a bit like women who have affairs because of no sex and then wonder why you're dumping them and ending the 'relationship'.
Its the ones who call pathetic that think their other half is saint jesus of perfect.... and its probably him that's fucking her arsehole with a gag in his mouth an a dido up his own arse.

We as blokes compartmentalise - I want a shag or to tick this perversion / kink/ fetish whatever, so I'll get it out of my system as clearly as going to have a hair cut.

Partners will never see it like that.  They may have gone off sex, they may be sweet vanilla only on the night of a full moon but YOU will always be being unfaithful.
I've never know a woman who would turn around and go "I don't like anal, but feel free to pay for it if it gets it out of your system".  Life doesn't work like that.

And kissing.. again, if a partner can get her head around punting, the act of kissing is deeply personal, so again, cheating.


OP, you're paying for a service. YOU don't see it as cheating, she will. simple as that.  It's up to you to reconcile it with yourself.

At least you're not having an affair - a mate of mine did that, some bint who he found of some extramarital dating site. he saw her as a fuck buddy, she saw him as relationship material.

When he decided no more the damage she did to his relationship was catastrophic.
Despite the initial sweet words of 'just a bit of fun' when it all ended apparently it was a relationship and 'how could you do this to me'.

The wife knew, the street knew, everyone knew  - she held nothing back, but apparently reducing him to near homelessness and destitution was ok as it was her "revenge for what he had done to her", and being a woman I'm sure if her husband did divorce her, she'd be sitting pretty irrespective.

nervous colin

  • Guest
Like many, I felt guilty after my first punt. These wg give me sexual experiences I could only have expected in my dreams. My mrs lays there like a lemon, does nothing except moan when I show any interest, only embarks on mish, socks on, covers on, every other position is a no-no, hates going near my cock if it has any sign of wet on it, hates cum on her, near her, in her, refuses oral giving or recieving, moans about me seeing her naked, told me to get a vesectomy, then moaned when I booked it saying it was a bit "final", and has the temerity to complain I dont do it "lovingly", and then its lucky if its once a month.
since I found punting, I have had my first blow job, and swallow, which I never thought would happen, even managed two pops in an hour which I havent done since my early twenties.
so do I feel guilty? No way!