Last night was the closest I have ever come to being caught by my GF whilst punting.
I booked a quick 30 mins with a girl off AW who just so happened to be very close to where I live. The booking was for around 9 pm and I had no reason to leave the house so I was aware that it would look suspicious; but craving new pussy I came up with the worst excuse ever: "just going to go the shops for a few beers babe, stressful day at work, I need to chill out". I've never really drank at home.
Anyway, off I went on the short 5 minute drive: now even though we were close in proximity, I'm actually new to the area having moved from another town. I still didn't really know where i was going other than it was in the opposite direction to the shops. Now I was full of nerves and messing around with the sat nav - I near crashed the fucking car at least 3 times!! It was the journey from fucking hell!
The punt was with an EE girl who looked great on her pics and had good feedback, yet no one commented that she had a crumpet face and was riddled with spots. Nor did they mention that she'd piled a few pounds on. Anyway, I worked on her mish and then screwed the arse off her for the full half hour. It was continuous sex and lots of sweating.
On leaving I was a bit paranoid about the sweat, but with it being cold I thought I'd cool down in due course. I rushed the shops, got my beer and then rushed to the car with the excuse of 'seeing a mate' and 'having a chat". However, when I got in the car I shit my pants! The thing stunk of cheap, shitty perfume! I sniffed my shirt and low and behold, that stunk even worse! All of my senses were awakened!!
I zipped a coat on and drove home with all the windows open doing about 80mph trying to get as much fresh air through the car as possible. Once again, full of nerves, I near wrapped the thing around 3 fucking trees!
I got home and my girlfriend was full of question and concern, but I had rushed to the bedroom and stripped off pronto. The shirt was screwed into a ball and put under the bed and I leapt into the shower just as she opened the bathroom door with more questions.
For the next few minutes I scrubbed myself like a lunatic and answered her questions through the shower door. I generally just acted like a stressed out weirdo and acted as though the world was on my shoulders.
I was shitting myself.
All in all, it was one of the shittest punts in my life for one of the most stressful situations of my life. It's just not worth it.
I even had to check the car at midnight to see if it was fine: "oh I've left my phone" was the excuse this time.
Oh. And the shirt is still screwed under the bed. That's got to be dealt with later.
Too much.