'Alna' - Chinese FBSM, Upper Norwood

[Callisto]

External Link/Members Only

This is a private-flat operation off Beulah Hill, in the middle of fucking nowhere.

They rotate the girl regularly, as far as I can tell.  LLPunting's review adequately describes the set-up, location and prices (still the same), so I'll lazily skip all that. https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=221789.msg2246308#msg2246308.  I paid £50 for 30 mins' B2B.

'Alna' was described to me on text as aged 22 and size 8; in reality she was more age 42 and size 10-12.  Belly roll, small breasts - one of them with an exploded nipple leaving only areola - and a pussy which hadn't been shaven for a day or so.  She was good looking-ish so I went ahead, which I now regret.

The massage was mostly just ticklish touching, which I quite enjoyed, but which never built up any arousing momentum.  Nor did the bed smell good.  After the flip I touched her tits a bit - her legs were firmly clamped together and no kissing was permitted - while she stroked my groin very expertly (I was nicely hard).  But then she said no touching, not even tits.  And I just thought: fuck this.  Don't change the rules midway through.  So I got up and began to dress, telling her in no uncertain terms that "B2B means are bodies touching each other; the clue's in the fucking name."  I believe I said exactly that!  A startled Alna then suggested okay, actually I could touch her tits, but the moment had clearly passed.  Outside the bedroom, I harangued mammasan to give me £10 back, which she eventually did, before going into ultra-grumpy silent mode while walking me out.  A pointless moral victory to Callisto?  Oh you betcha.

To summarise in brief: this is a false-advertising shitheap.  Stay away.

[LLPunting]

Shitty luck getting the hag of the week in the run-up to Halloween   

Mine was definitely under 40, more obliging and in better nick but I do hate these Chinese Lotteries.   A plan C at best and be prepared to walk before getting stuck in.  Sadly in that part of town you've got dodgy BBers Anerley way, the dodgy TCM on Westow Hill and the dodgy lots over in Streatham and down in Sydenham.

Note to self, never live within 2 miles of Crystal Palace or the rest of SE London.

[pumps]

one day I'll try a massage place.

thanks for reviewing

[Callisto]

Note to self, never live within 2 miles of Crystal Palace or the rest of SE London.

You're quite right.  Imagine if there was a decent SP, or a reliable massage place like Emily's, anywhere in the vicinity.  They'd absolutely clean up, you'd think. I might take the idea onto Dragon's Den...