Many moons ago on a trip to Marbella / PB
At the Navy bar & it was getting late - so the girlies were looking for their last client
Discounting was available down from €250/hr to €150
I was too wrecked to negotiate any more & she was a really hot russian babe
Agreed the deal & walked outside
Decided i needed to go to the bogs as 'the turtle was poking its head out'
Mentioned this & said i'd go back inside & be out like a couple of mins
She must have thought i was going to change my mind so she said that i could use her loo in her flat
I said its no probs - it'll be a couple of mins tops & i'm deffo coming straight back out
She was having none of it & took me by the hand & led me up the road to her apartment a couple of hundred metres away
I was expecting at least a 1 - 2 bedder and a separate bog
But no its a studio with the world's smallest small room
No window & the smallest extractor fan in the world
You can all guess what's going to happen next
Turned on the extractor fan & the only thing this did was make a little noise, but not enough !
After a few days drinking beer, vodka red bulls & eating rich food i was begiining to get worried
There wasn't even a proper door
It was one of the fold up jobbies
I searched round for some air-freshener - waste of time
In my drunken state i am then trying to figure out how to curl one out quietly
No chance - it sounded like a heavy machine gun going off
The toilet was one of those strange foreign ones [not unexpected in spain] with a sloping back wall [about 30-40 degrees]
'It' flopped onto the back wall & then slowly slid into the water - like the Bismark going down
Time for number 1 flush. I was concerned about blocking the whole thing up
One more flush & i then had to ready myself
I then got the statement 'are you ok'
I'm thinking to myself much better thank-you, but not your toliet
Washed my now slightly sweaty face & emerged
Tried to pull the sliding door back & it got stuck
She's looking at me & has a face which says 'WTF ?'
She then said something similar & that i owed her €150
To which i replied - what for - i haven't done anything [apart from go to the loo]
I got out €10 from a back pocket & sheepishly offered this & said i was leaving & sorry
I was so desperate for a tom-tit that €10 seemed a bargain at the time
Had a few choice words in Russian shouted at me
I said really sorry but i did tell you outside the Navy bar - twice
I smiled suggested €150 + the €10 [as an apology] and this seemed to do the trick
Think i emerged about 45 mins later - which by all a/c's is good
The time in the middle was a bit of a blur - but being a good few pounds lighter i had a bit of a 'hop, skip & a jump' in me - i sobered up enough - just
She started the clock when we entered the apartment - which given the events i considered ok
Plus i had shot my load & was just desperate for sleep
The apartment block was like a rabbit warren & did i pay any attention on the way in ? Did i fuck !
I was more interested in looking at the ruskie babe in her tight dress - she was fab
Took me 5 mins to find a way out and that meant jumping over a high gate
With the guys in the morning at the accomo, a 'kangaroo court' was organized - the usual over a late breakfast
They were pissing themselves
All rather predictable story after the 1st few lines me thinks - but it made me smile posting this
I know this is an old thread, but this story had me in stitches - explains why you should never take a shit in a WGs flat! On one occasion I was desperately looking for the traps in London pre-punt.....made a bit of mess at Pret-a-manger ....
Just to contribute a little more, I've had the two girls in the hotel room several times (knowingly) - always Romanian. Once she stayed in the bathroom, after explaining to me the girl "allocated" to me spoke no English (she was a good session mind you, just let me do anything I wanted). Another time, the second girl sat on the side of the bed watching porn (I quite enjoyed that one too). And finally, another occasion got offered the threesome. Was a small problem in that I only had a bit of surplus cash on me, but once that was clear....she took what I had and off we went. Ok experience, not exactly stunners on that occasion, and my brain went into overdrive with the threesome thing
Most scary experience? Confronted by a bloke (who owned the house - builder type working on it) while walking up to the property....saved by the lady opening the door. Crap shag too, and likely both pikeys in on it together. Having parked my car round the corner (out of sight), she wanted a lift to town centre (she only used flat for clients) - which I did (stupidly of course, given it gives away the plate). Worried for a while after that that I would be controlled by pikeys, but actually nothing happened. Am a bit more cautious now on visit locations.....