Popular media on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

UKPunting is a free, independent and not-for-profit paid sex buyer site.


Author Topic: Most bizarre punting experience?  (Read 11859 times)

Offline mystery7

My most bizarre experience was when one let me in on time, offered all services advertised and treated me like a human being. Most bizarre :lol:
Banning reason: Abusive + Obsessing over prossie

Offline kink

I had arranged for a girl to come over to my hotel in a rural location. She phoned the hotel reception for directions on more than one occasion for directions as her girlfriend driver was lost. They eventually arrived, driver parked up in the hotel car park and stayed in the car.  The escort walked into the hotel, dressed in black minidress which barely covered her arse, came upstairs to my room.

We had a shower and got on with our date, got a knock on the door and it was the police who had apparently been called by the hotel. The driver was asked if her friend was a prostitute, she calmly advised them that she was having an affair. Police came to the room to check out the story with us and we explained that we were friends. They left it at that!

We got undressed again and resumed the date. Girl was dirty no-holes-barred prossi and had a great 2 hours with her. Got dressed and walked her down to reception and kissed her goodbye!

Offline vorian

I had arranged for a girl to come over to my hotel in a rural location. She phoned the hotel reception for directions on more than one occasion for directions as her girlfriend driver was lost. They eventually arrived, driver parked up in the hotel car park and stayed in the car.  The escort walked into the hotel, dressed in black minidress which barely covered her arse, came upstairs to my room.

We had a shower and got on with our date, got a knock on the door and it was the police who had apparently been called by the hotel. The driver was asked if her friend was a prostitute, she calmly advised them that she was having an affair. Police came to the room to check out the story with us and we explained that we were friends. They left it at that!

We got undressed again and resumed the date. Girl was dirty no-holes-barred prossi and had a great 2 hours with her. Got dressed and walked her down to reception and kissed her goodbye!

Sound like a big waste of police time, so what if she was a prossie nothing illegal was taking place. If Hotels called the police every time they had a WG staying they might as well have a full time PCSO based in reception.
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account

Offline overhead

I've had that. 2 girls sharing a studio apartment so only one room and a bathroom off it. went to use the loo after round one was finished and the other girl was in there sitting on the edge of the bath reading a magazine.

I've had better than that. The other girl stayed in the room and watched.

Offline vorian

I've had better than that. The other girl stayed in the room and watched.

Did that cost extra  :lol:
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account

Offline overhead

but I was too horny at the time to be thinking straight.

How could that be?

I'm always the most considered and rational I ever am when I'm in that condition.

Offline overhead

Did that cost extra  :lol:

No it didn't. It was the first time I realised that some girls like watching sex. It might have been that she was learning the job. She was quite young, but they told me they simply shared the room and that the other girl wasn't a WG. They looked like sisters in fact.

Offline vorian

No it didn't. It was the first time I realised that some girls like watching sex. It might have been that she was learning the job. She was quite young, but they told me they simply shared the room and that the other girl wasn't a WG. They looked like sisters in fact.

 :cool: :)
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account

Not money but I had a surreal experience in the late 90s. Was on a stag do in Belgium and after a day of heavy drinking a few of us ended up in a knocking shop. The 2 lads I went in with had gone to rooms with their ladies so I was in the main room on my own waiting to see the menu. I remember speaking to presumably the Madame when a dwarf (is that the right term these days?) sat on the arm of the chair and started playing with my hair. I remember her saying sexy man and suggested we went off to fuck.

I was shit faced and I swear someone spiked my drink but it's so vivid it must be true. I didn't nob her; really not my thing but I've often wondered if it really happened. I wandered off in the end without seeing anyone and spewed my guts up on the way back to the hotel. felt like I'd been run over the next day. The 2 lads ribbed me and said they didn't see this woman in there but she was playing with my face at one point and talking dirty to me.  I couldn't have been tripping. I'm sure of it. Anyway if it happened that's my most bizarre punting experience. If it didn't happen then I'm a complete cunt. If it helps you decide one way or the other I dreamt that papa smurf tried to kill me in the early hours but that was definitely a dream. God I was glad to get home from that trip. Took me a week to start feeling normal

that is probably the funniest thing I have ever read!

Offline webpunter

Many moons ago on a trip to Marbella / PB
At the Navy bar & it was getting late - so the girlies were looking for their last client
Discounting was available down from €250/hr to €150
I was too wrecked to negotiate any more & she was a really hot russian babe
Agreed the deal & walked outside
Decided i needed to go to the bogs as 'the turtle was poking its head out'
Mentioned this & said i'd go back inside & be out like a couple of mins
She must have thought i was going to change my mind so she said that i could use her loo in her flat
I said its no probs - it'll be a couple of mins tops & i'm deffo coming straight back out
She was having none of it & took me by the hand & led me up the road to her apartment a couple of hundred metres away
I was expecting at least a 1 - 2 bedder and a separate bog
But no its a studio with the world's smallest small room
No window & the smallest extractor fan in the world
You can all guess what's going to happen next
>
>
Turned on the extractor fan & the only thing this did was make a little noise, but not enough !
After a few days drinking beer, vodka red bulls & eating rich food i was begiining to get worried
There wasn't even a proper door
It was one of the fold up jobbies
I searched round for some air-freshener - waste of time
In my drunken state i am then trying to figure out how to curl one out quietly
No chance - it sounded like a heavy machine gun going off
The toilet was one of those strange foreign ones [not unexpected in spain] with a sloping back wall [about 30-40 degrees]
'It' flopped onto the back wall & then slowly slid into the water - like the Bismark going down
Time for number 1 flush.  I was concerned about blocking the whole thing up
One more flush & i then had to ready myself
I then got the statement 'are you ok'
I'm thinking to myself much better thank-you, but not your toliet
Washed my now slightly sweaty face & emerged
Tried to pull the sliding door back & it got stuck

She's looking at me & has a face which says 'WTF ?'
She then said something similar & that i owed her €150
To which i replied - what for - i haven't done anything [apart from go to the loo]
I got out €10 from a back pocket & sheepishly offered this & said i was leaving & sorry
I was so desperate for a tom-tit that €10 seemed a bargain at the time

Had a few choice words in Russian shouted at me
I said really sorry but i did tell you outside the Navy bar - twice
I smiled suggested €150 + the €10 [as an apology] and this seemed to do the trick
Think i emerged about 45 mins later - which by all a/c's is good
The time in the middle was a bit of a blur - but being a good few pounds lighter i had a bit of a 'hop, skip & a jump' in me - i sobered up enough - just
She started the clock when we entered the apartment - which given the events i considered ok
Plus i had shot my load & was just desperate for sleep

The apartment block was like a rabbit warren & did i pay any attention on the way in ?  Did i fuck !
I was more interested in looking at the ruskie babe in her tight dress - she was fab
Took me 5 mins to find a way out and that meant jumping over a high gate
With the guys in the morning at the accomo, a 'kangaroo court' was organized - the usual over a late breakfast
They were pissing themselves

All rather predictable story after the 1st few lines me thinks - but it made me smile posting this

Offline DaveMugabe

Blimey hope the turtle was okay :D :D

Offline tazz

Several years ago i used to see Paige of Les Girls in Soho. Turned out she lived in my part of london and i had lived in her part of Nottingham. In fact her mum lived in the same road a women i knew at university had lived in. What a small world.

Offline tazz

Just had the most bizzare punting experience ever, went to see an Essex girl, as soon as i saw her was shocked as shes the spitting image of a married women i worked with front Kent who i wanted to fuck and who had the hots for me. Also personality and age was very similar. Has to go down as 1 in a million event. Told her this, dont think shed ever had a guy say this.

I had the whole 2 girl in one flat.

One was in the toilet.

I went in, handed over the cash, heard a noise in the toilet.  I asked who it was, half expecting it to be a man.

Her friend came out and they explained in broken English that she wasnt well, she did offer to leave but she did look grim.

We carried on the the room but once id finished the girl id just had left for the bathroom and the other girl returned to the bedroom.

I had only just taken the condom off as she was walking passed me and because there was very little room she brushed my cock with her legs/buttom.  I could actually see some of my cum on her when she sat down.

The girl who I had fucked got none on her, the girl who I hadnt got some.  Thats in own of my reviews too.  The cum girl was also listening to horrific music in the bathroom that made me think of the borat theme tune.

Offline Hertsgent

Many moons ago on a trip to Marbella / PB
At the Navy bar & it was getting late - so the girlies were looking for their last client
Discounting was available down from €250/hr to €150
I was too wrecked to negotiate any more & she was a really hot russian babe
Agreed the deal & walked outside
Decided i needed to go to the bogs as 'the turtle was poking its head out'
Mentioned this & said i'd go back inside & be out like a couple of mins
She must have thought i was going to change my mind so she said that i could use her loo in her flat
I said its no probs - it'll be a couple of mins tops & i'm deffo coming straight back out
She was having none of it & took me by the hand & led me up the road to her apartment a couple of hundred metres away
I was expecting at least a 1 - 2 bedder and a separate bog
But no its a studio with the world's smallest small room
No window & the smallest extractor fan in the world
You can all guess what's going to happen next
>
>
Turned on the extractor fan & the only thing this did was make a little noise, but not enough !
After a few days drinking beer, vodka red bulls & eating rich food i was begiining to get worried
There wasn't even a proper door
It was one of the fold up jobbies
I searched round for some air-freshener - waste of time
In my drunken state i am then trying to figure out how to curl one out quietly
No chance - it sounded like a heavy machine gun going off
The toilet was one of those strange foreign ones [not unexpected in spain] with a sloping back wall [about 30-40 degrees]
'It' flopped onto the back wall & then slowly slid into the water - like the Bismark going down
Time for number 1 flush.  I was concerned about blocking the whole thing up
One more flush & i then had to ready myself
I then got the statement 'are you ok'
I'm thinking to myself much better thank-you, but not your toliet
Washed my now slightly sweaty face & emerged
Tried to pull the sliding door back & it got stuck

She's looking at me & has a face which says 'WTF ?'
She then said something similar & that i owed her €150
To which i replied - what for - i haven't done anything [apart from go to the loo]
I got out €10 from a back pocket & sheepishly offered this & said i was leaving & sorry
I was so desperate for a tom-tit that €10 seemed a bargain at the time

Had a few choice words in Russian shouted at me
I said really sorry but i did tell you outside the Navy bar - twice
I smiled suggested €150 + the €10 [as an apology] and this seemed to do the trick
Think i emerged about 45 mins later - which by all a/c's is good
The time in the middle was a bit of a blur - but being a good few pounds lighter i had a bit of a 'hop, skip & a jump' in me - i sobered up enough - just
She started the clock when we entered the apartment - which given the events i considered ok
Plus i had shot my load & was just desperate for sleep

The apartment block was like a rabbit warren & did i pay any attention on the way in ?  Did i fuck !
I was more interested in looking at the ruskie babe in her tight dress - she was fab
Took me 5 mins to find a way out and that meant jumping over a high gate
With the guys in the morning at the accomo, a 'kangaroo court' was organized - the usual over a late breakfast
They were pissing themselves

All rather predictable story after the 1st few lines me thinks - but it made me smile posting this

I know this is an old thread, but this story had me in stitches - explains why you should never take a shit in a WGs flat! On one occasion I was desperately looking for the traps in London pre-punt.....made a bit of mess at Pret-a-manger ....

Just to contribute a little more, I've had the two girls in the hotel room several times (knowingly) - always Romanian. Once she stayed in the bathroom, after explaining to me the girl "allocated" to me spoke no English (she was a good session mind you, just let me do anything I wanted). Another time, the second girl sat on the side of the bed watching porn (I quite enjoyed that one too). And finally, another occasion got offered the threesome. Was a small problem in that I only had a bit of surplus cash on me, but once that was clear....she took what I had and off we went. Ok experience, not exactly stunners on that occasion, and my brain went into overdrive with the threesome thing

Most scary experience? Confronted by a bloke (who owned the house - builder type working on it) while walking up to the property....saved by the lady opening the door. Crap shag too, and likely both pikeys in on it together. Having parked my car round the corner (out of sight), she wanted a lift to town centre (she only used flat for clients) - which I did (stupidly of course, given it gives away the plate). Worried for a while after that that I would be controlled by pikeys, but actually nothing happened. Am a bit more cautious now on visit locations.....

Offline shagbambi

I booked an incall.  Arrived and heard voices.  Was assured they were female only.  Was then asked if I fancied a foursome for the same price...

So I said yes.  Four hours later (I paid for an hour), I staggered out of the appartment, having enjoyed all three girls, all in their mid-twenties and various combinations there of.  They bought me dinner, plied me with drinks.  It was bizarre as it was totally unexpected, as was their hospitality.  A great and unforgetable evening.

Offline MrMatrix

SirFrank and Webpunter. They are 2 of the funniest stories I've heard. Still laughing  :lol: :lol:

Offline tazz

I booked an incall.  Arrived and heard voices.  Was assured they were female only.  Was then asked if I fancied a foursome for the same price...

So I said yes.  Four hours later (I paid for an hour), I staggered out of the appartment, having enjoyed all three girls, all in their mid-twenties and various combinations there of.  They bought me dinner, plied me with drinks.  It was bizarre as it was totally unexpected, as was their hospitality.  A great and unforgetable evening.

So you paid for an hour with 3 girls and got 4 instead? Are you famous or a stud? Ive heard of 2 for 1 offers but this gives it a whole new meaning.

Offline two20

The sooner they start taking bitcoins the better, perfect currency for a bit of subterfuge.

Offline shagbambi

Neither a stud nor famous.  Just got lucky.

Offline tazz

Since when have prossies starting giving free sex for 3 hours. What no other punters calling them, did you ask why they were doing this, seems very odd.

Offline shagbambi

2hrs sex, 2hrs dinner/drinking/talking shit.  No interruptions (other punters).  Why were they not taking on other business?  No idea, but was I complaining?

Like I say it was bizzare as it flys in the face of punter logic.

Online Demistify

One sunday afternoon, I couldn't find anyone who was answering. I ended up with a much older woman with literally 4000+ positive reviews on Adultwork.

When I got in hers there was a nauseating smell. She told me, in a voice and accent like Catherine Tate's nan, "The fucking cat's just shit everywhere."

She then spent 10-15 minutes telling me about her political activities in the BNP, while I sat there, naked and confused.

In fairness, her services were good, and she took a throatfucking. I had to do something to try and make myself cum.

As I somehow worked up to cumming on her face (while I closed my eyes) she said 'Cum for your Mama'.

I have never lost wood as quick in my life.

Offline yumyum3

Quote
One sunday afternoon, I couldn't find anyone who was answering. I ended up with a much older woman with literally 4000+ positive reviews on Adultwork.

When I got in hers there was a nauseating smell. She told me, in a voice and accent like Catherine Tate's nan, "The fucking cat's just shit everywhere."

She then spent 10-15 minutes telling me about her political activities in the BNP, while I sat there, naked and confused.

In fairness, her services were good, and she took a throatfucking. I had to do something to try and make myself cum.

As I somehow worked up to cumming on her face (while I closed my eyes) she said 'Cum for your Mama'.

I have never lost wood as quick in my life.
:lol: :lol: :lol: knees up muvver braaan, knees up muvver braaan ...

Offline Sonny Crockett

I had a punt with a Thai lady in 2012, and as she was giving me massage, she started talking about serial killers and Thai Torture Techniques. She even did an imaginary demonstration of one of the techniques. Bloody Hell!!!
Banning reason: Troll


Latest videos on UKEscorting.com (free site!)

Latest images on UKEscorting.com (free site!)