External Link/Members OnlyLocationAsian massage parlour on Bartholomew Street, easy to access and a stone throw from the train station. Entrance is right on the street, there's parking nearby and bike stands about a minute away. It's on one of the roads that lead into Newbury's main highstreets, and it's one of the secondary roads leading in and out of Newbury centre, so there is a fair amount of traffic and footfall. However, the parlour itself is so generic and nondescript that nobody seemed to pay it any attention, so it didn't feel overly lacking in discretion to go in.
BookingHaving read the reviews about flakey organisation + bookings, I phoned in advance. Not sure whoever I spoke to bothered to write a booking down at all, as my appearance seemed to cause some surprise and I was asked for all the details again.
Full body massage for one hour = £40 to the parlour
The GirlI struggle to call her a girl to be honest, as I was seen to by a Chinese lady who I guess was in her late thirties or early forties, and introduced herself as Coco. She didn't look old as such, but her age was just beginning to show on her face. To her credit though, she clearly looked after herself, and had a body that looked about ten years younger, with small but distinct breasts. Not fat, but not thin either. Her manner was quite perfunctory and to the point throughout, which put me off a bit. English was not too great, and we did both have to repeat ourselves a few times.
ServicesFull body massage, b2b and hr = £40 to the girl.
As suggested in other reviews on the place, and confirmed by the lady I saw, the girls rotate fairly quickly here - I was told they usually remain for about two weeks, and no more than a month. On that basis, this review is based less on the girl I saw and more in the general sense of the place.
I booked in advance having read of the problems others have faced with delays in being seen, or forgotten bookings etc. I was able to walk straight in off the street with no issues, but I clearly caused some surprise as I walked in on a pair of Chinese ladies starting their lunch in the reception area!
They didn't seem busy, and I was quickly led up to a massage room on the floor above by the manager - warm, clean room with heated towels and a massage bed. It had an open window onto the place's stairwell, but covered with curtains and Chinese anatomy posters. There was a door in the corner which turned out to be the toilet (as I will come to in a moment).
The manager asked how long I wanted, took my money and then remained to watch me strip off - I wasn't quite sure how to take that, but she got me to lie down on the table and for a moment I worried she might be the one performing the massage. As it happened, she covered me up with the towel, which was also a bit concerning, and rubbed my back through it until the other lady from downstairs made her way up.
Some attempt at general smalltalk followed, as the lady who saw me gave me a relatively decent massage for the next thirty minutes. Warming oil was used, and the table itself was heated, which was a nice touch. Despite keeping me covered with the towel, I gather this was just for my warmth and comfort, as CC swipes and subtle touches began shortly before she got me to flip over. At this point, I was asked if I wanted a HE, and then additionally offered b2b when I accepted. Plenty of touching and mutual sucking of nipples encouraged, but no kissing and while she was happy for me to run my hands between her legs, I wasn't allowed any further than that. Some fake moaning and muttering, and again it all seemed a bit perfunctory.
After she was done with me, she wiped everything down with some paper towels and took a moment to dress again and go into the room in the corner. From the sound of a ceiling fan, I figured this was a toilet and while I couldn't see into it, it sounded from the noise coming out that she went in and actually used it while I was there on the table waiting for her to come back, though I guess she could also have been getting soap out of a squeeze bottle and disposing of the paper down the toilet. I didn't ask, and I didn't really want to know. But it was certainly disconcerting.
Remainder of the time was spent giving a head massage, but I wasn't really paying attention at that point. She drew the massage to a close about five to ten minutes early, given the lateness starting, but I wasn't in a mood to argue about that at this point. Exchanged goodbyes and left. The manager downstairs saw me to the door.
OverallThe location is convenient enough, but between walking in on lunch, the fact the lady who saw me was a fair bit older than I am, the toilet and the massage ending early, I left with a vague sense of discomfort. It's not a negative, because there was nothing wrong with the lady I saw, who had a decent technique and I got everything I wanted, but I can't rate this as a positive experience that impressed me either.
