External Link/Members OnlyI went mid afternoon to Shanghai Massage in Tonbridge. It's on Barden Road, not far from the back entrance of Tonbridge Railway station. It's not very discreet as it is the only business of its kind on a quiet residential street.
I went without a booking and just rocked up. According to the door they are open from 9am to 9pm. There seemed to be only one masseuse working and she was called Nina.
Nina is Chinese and has next to no English. I would say she is at a guess in her mid to late 40s. She is not a looker by any stretch. She is probably a AAA bust and has the obligatory hairy muff.
I paid £45 for 1 hour.
I was shown into a fairly large room which was en suite. I stripped down while Nina stashed the cash. When she came back she did a massage that was actually ok. There was no discussion of whether I wanted a massage of a particular strength so I had one that I would judge to be medium in strength. Nina did a good job here without it being outstanding. There was plenty of credit card swipes.
I was then asked to turn over. Nina asked if I wanted any extras. I asked what was on offer. B2B £50. FS £80. I wasn't going to pay either of those figures so haggle for FS for £65.
So Nina climbs on top and does one of the worst B2Bs ever. With no oil between us she just moved us in tandem back and forth. It wasn't good in any way. After a couple of minutes she climbed off and put a condom on me. She then rode me while I fucked her hard. Thankfully she kept her head to one side so there is no kissing for those of you into that.
Nina climbed off and then tried to wank me to a finish while I still had the condom on. Funnily enough this was doing nothing for me so I took off the condom and Nina gave me a hand job to a finish. No CIF/CIM/COB.
Despite there being a shower I was not offered the use of this and was given TWO wet wipes to clean myself up.
Positives:
Central location.
Nearby parking at Sainsbury's (£1.30/hour, £2.30/2 hours)
Close to the train station.
Close to Saltwaters fish and chip shop which does excellent food.
Negatives:
Nina was NOT a looker.
Overpriced despite me haggling.
Not offered use of en suite.
TWO wet wipes. For fucks sake.
So, overall would I go back? No. I was thinking with my dick and would only recommend this place if your kink is mature Chinese women.
I had trouble finding a link for this place, so apologies It's only a Yell.com listing.
