External Link/Members OnlyAs I left Housewife Kate's abode, crossed Blackfriars bridge and boarded a District Line train that old idiom "stupid is as stupid does" seemed extremely relevant. Discovering this forum has greatly improved my short (and uneventful) punting career insofar as I know what to look out for and avoid, however my experience with Housewife Kate demonstrates there is ample room for error.
I took a few days off at the end of August so that I could enjoy the last of the summer. Very quickly I became bored and decided to find myself a nice distraction. Fancying an older woman, I logged onto AW and superficially Kate's profile seemed to tick all the right boxes. Her introduction was written in good English and her pictures seemed to indicate that she was an older (yet attractive) woman. I decided to make contact.
Comms:I tried ringing first to no avail so the booking was organised via text. Kate's responses were extremely short "yes/no" answers. Although this was somewhat frustrating a time was quickly nailed down and details of the location given. A range of services were agreed upon - in particular, OWO, kissing and sex.
I arrived in the area three minutes before the agreed time. When I texted her to announce my arrival, I received a response telling me to wait for five minutes after which she would guide me to her apartment. Five minutes was more like ten. I began to walk back to Blackfriars bridge but at the very last minute she texted me. In hindsight, I should have continued walking however at this point my brain wasn't really doing the thinking. I turned around...
Location:The meet took place in a block of flats sandwiched between a supermarket and hotel on Great Suffolk Street. It was lunch time and the area was quite busy. For those who value discretion, the location might be a little exposed particularly in the afternoon. The street was packed with office workers buying lunch. However, in such a busy city as London I really doubt that people stop to wonder what the guy standing outside the block of apartments is doing. Once I was buzzed in, I got into the lift and quickly found the apartment.
Flat:The apartment was rather standard. Large, modern and quite spacious. It immediately became clear that Kate was not the sole inhabitant. As I entered, people scurried out of the corridor and doors were quickly closed. I think I caught a glimpse of another older woman in a floral dressing gown. Clearly, some kind of operation is being run out of the apartment which made me a little less comfortable. Nevertheless I persevered. I made use of the shower facilities which were perfectly clean. The towel I was handed could have certainly done with a wash.
The woman:Housewife Kate advertises herself as a 39 year old. This is absolute and categorical nonsense. She was
at least ten years older and one wouldn't have been chastised for tacking a few more years onto that! Regardless, for a woman of her age I found her reasonably attractive. She was quite slim, had a reasonable pair of tits and a little padding around the middle (to be expected). Facially, she was extremely nondescript. Certainly not ugly, but then again no more attractive than the average middle age woman you see walking around and about London. I'm extremely unconvinced that the pictures on AW are her.
The deed:I was welcomed quite warmly, paperwork was exchanged and then I went for a shower. Once finished, I stretched the tiny towel I had been given around my waist and returned to the bedroom. Kate had sat herself on the bed and gestured for me to sit down next to her. So far so good. However, from hereon in things went downhill. We started by engaging in smalltalk. As an icebreaker, I felt that this was a good shout as a means of creating a rapport. With many of the Eastern European's I've visited the immediate escalation to sex (in no small part the result of a linguistic barrier) sometimes feels a little premature. A few questions were asked about my job, then conversation moved onto the BBC Comedy Series pages before we spoke about how the sector in which I work is extremely unprepared for the consequences of Brexit... and then I realised my time was purposefully being wasted. All the while, I had a growing hard-on to which she remained wilfully oblivious.
She must have noted my growing impatience because she suggested that she give me a massage. At last, I thought, action. She stripped off, revealing a good figure; took a bottle of lavender oil from the side and began to massage me. To be honest, she was a decent masseuse. However, I soon realised that this too was a time-wasting tactic. What I though was a simple back rub; an intimate and relaxing prelude to something more turned into a full body massage in which everything from my the tips of my fingers to my toes was massaged. All the while, time ticked by. It became increasingly clear that she had little to no intention of delivering the services we had agreed upon over text. Finally, unable to contain myself any longer I turned over whereupon she gave me a hand job. This was extremely short lived. Having been aroused for the better part of forty-five minutes with no relief I had little stamina. Presently, I took a shower, got dressed and left.
Conclusion:As I said at the beginning of this review "stupid is as stupid does". Stupid pays £130 for a massage and hand job.
In hindsight, I think it is arguable that I am partly if not wholly responsible for the failure of this punt. I should have taken a much more pro-active role. Instead of allowing her to endlessly massage me, I should have indicated that I wanted something a little more stimulating. Suffice to say, lesson learned!
Nevertheless, I feel that Housewife Kate's actions were somewhat disingenuous. From the very outset of the punt I feel that she did all in her power to needlessly waste time. Given the fact that I had made clear what I wanted out of the meeting, I think she could have made more of an effort to accommodate that. Ultimately, I was paying for a service and I don't think it's unreasonable of me to expect that the provider is a little more proactive in providing it.
Whatever the case, I have learned my lesson and will not be returning.
