I have two joint "worst punts". Both in parlours. One in Bridgwater, one in Bristol.
I think both girls must have had mental health issues, or were on drugs, or both.
The Bridgwater one charged an extra £20 for oral. She kept making excuses as to why she wasn't going to take more than a couple of her garments off, while giving me the most utterly boring and unerotic massage it is possible to imagine. I then suggested I massaged her. She agreed: she wanted me to massage her shoulders while she sat upright on the couch! In other words, I was expected to act as a surrogate physiotherapist. I stuck this rubbish for about ten seconds, and suggested we got on with something a little more erotic. So she got me to lie on my back, kept herself well out of reach, still partly clothed, slipped a condom on my semi-erect willy after giving it a few strokes, wanked it vigorously, while giving it a few pathetic pecks on the tip, and carried on like this until I came. In other words ,I had paid £20 over the odds to be masturbated into a condom. I wrote the place a detailed letter of complaint, and learned shortly afterwards that the had been "dismissed as a result of some bad feedback". Good riddance!
The other one was, if anything, even worse. A surly looking girl with a punk haircut, who again gave a totally hopeless (and in this case one-handed) massage. Again I suggested massaging her. She lay there looking bored, until my hands slid near her privates, whereupon she muttered something I didn't catch. A moment later, when my finger reached her clit, she bellowed "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MT LIPS!" She then clamped her thighs together while looking daggers at me. This was clearly a no-hoper, so I said politely "I think we'd better stop this, you're obviously not enjoying it". To my astonishment, she then gave me an even more murderous look, leapt off the bed, flung her clothes on and stalked out of the room. And that was it. At least I got some service out of the firat girl. In the second case, I would have got a just as much value, and a lot less hassle, if I had simply stood on the pavement outside and put two £20 notes (it was a while back!) down a convenient grating. Unfortunately there was nobody to complain to about her. I never went back. Was she on crack, I wonder? That can, I think, make people behave like that.
