External Link/Members OnlyThis review dates from about 3 weeks ago, sorry for the delay.
Quick summary:
Girl: Ping (not Ling, she was present downstairs but not servicing)
Looks: mid 40's, frumpy. Not someone I'd choose to punt with but my main focus was the massage
Paid: £40 for 60 mins as stated on the website. Extra 20 for a not necessarily welcome HE.
Reason for negative: terrible English, extremely awkward and un-needed negotiation, weird location.
Hot and a bit fed up after a bad business meeting whilst visiting Sheffield, I decided to return to Muang. I last visited many years ago now (pre forum) in a different location - on that occasion I'd seen Ling, whom I presumed at the time was the owner? I'd had a great session with Ling, good massage and HE and a good rapport established.
Which is why I thought of Muang when doing this ad-hoc booking. Really, I was only looking for a cooling shower after being in business suit all day, a good hard deep massage and a happy ending would be bonus but not required.
I phoned in advance to make an appointment and really this is where things started badly. Whoever answered the phone could not speak a word of English, and after the call I think I may have had a booking but really I was none the wiser.
Anyway I swung over to their (newish?) location. It's a regular hairdresser's type set up, but I think unlike the previous location, this one is actually a full part of the massage operation. In the old location you could enter a discreet back door entrance, this one is straight from the street into the shop. And on arriving, I saw Ling is still there apparently running the show.
I was there just after regular opening hours, so there were no customers in there (presumably the downstairs would usually have female customers? Or is the shop just a front and never has anyone in?) but there was some big fat bloke hogging one of the chairs and lording it over the place. Customer? Hanger on? The real owner? I don't know. When I've visited parlours in the past I've no problem with bumping into other Johns but this just seemed off.
Anyway, I had the most basic check in with Ling - £40 for one hour paid - before being handover to....Ping. That is if I heard the name correctly. And I quickly discovered she was the one I'd spoken to on the phone, and her English was indeed appalling. Just to be clear I mean compared to the normal standard of communication in a thai parlour.
Ushered upstairs to the usual style "treatment" room, looks pretty much as on the advert, decent.
I asked for a shower and was left alone for 10 minutes. Shower basic but functional.
I'm very bad at describing women, my memory is getting bad with age - especially thai masseurs because of course I spent most of the time lying face down. But Ping was certainly no spring chicken, mid 40's upwards maybe, perhaps just a slightly younger version of Ling. Possibly could be described as ugly.
The massage was actually pretty good. I suffer from muscle soreness due to old rugby injuries, which is why this kind of service is something I sometimes seek out when I'm punting. And I must confess, it was a pretty decent massage, hitting the right spots, and that thing where they walk on your back to get full purchase on your limbs. Great stuff.
More than slightly annoying that a short way into the session she went and turned the radio on (loud) which was some stupid noisy drivel. I asked her to turn it down but this required a level of vocabulary way beyond what she seemed to posess.
Despite that, all was well until about 30 mins in when she said "you wan' body to body"? Now I do get off on the idea of a straight massage with a "will they won't they" element, leading hopefully to a HE, but not problem if not. This direct approach surprised me and was quite an interrupt to the flow. To be polite I said "ah sorry, I only have 20 quid more with me"
(this I thought was a kind way of saying "no, you're a bit of a boiler and you're doing a great job on the massage but I really don't need to see you with your kit off") One day I'll learn that in punting you need to be direct, assertive and say what you mean.
...This led to a "that's not enough! I need more for body to body!". Strangely her English improved enough to get the understanding that an insufficient amount of Great British Sterling was going to be forthcoming. So now with still a half hour to go I find I'm having a polite but slightly passive aggressive argument.
"Just the massage is fine" I said. No way of telling if the message was understood. And it proceeded with a slightly sourer atmosphere in the air.
And the next odd bit, after another 10 minutes or so, she then starts giving a hand job. I didn't expect this but wasn't going to complain. After popping there was still another 10mins on the clock and to be fair she carried on with a bit more massage.
Bear in mind I hadn't actually asked for the HE but she was quite keen to ensure that she got that last 20 quid I'd claimed to have. Good job I was telling porkies in the other direction, I'd had a lot more than 20 on me.
Anyway, a good massage doesn't make up for a nasty clunky and totally unnecessary negotiation mid-way through. I won't be returning, in future I'll be sticking with legit only when I need a massage and a proper SP when looking for a fuck. It's my fault, I should have bailed at the booking stage.
