This was a desperate punt! I was driving towards Leicester at around 9pm one recent evening when the small lieutenant decided it was time for some action. My dilemma was that most of my usual haunts would be closed and I didn't fancy trawling through AW and UKP looking for a good indie. Pump and dump seemed the logical option so I go through my mental map of Leicester parlours and recalled seeing this one but never having visited it:
External Link/Members OnlySome punting-phone googling later and a quick phone call to the venue and it appeared that they weren't busy and I'd have a choice of three girls. Street parking is plentiful around Humberstone Road so it was very convenient and at £50 for 30 minutes (inclusive of two services apparently) I was soon walking through the indiscreet entrance and up the stairs. [I think they do £40 for 20 minutes as well.]
So here's where the fun starts. Contrary to the website, this place is fecking dive! Two scary-looking girls and Sofia were paraded for me so I chose Sofia as she had the prettiest face, the least amount of tattoos and didn't look like she would kill me. All the girls were foreign, I think Bulgarian but hard to tell.
We walked off to her room which was basically a pig-sty. Sofia spoke very little English and showed very little interaction, just waiting for me to get undressed and essentially she was living a pump and dump lifestyle rather than trying for anything remotely GFE. But hopefully the picture I'm painting is of your "typical" parlour experience of yesteryear and I genuinely found it amusing and interesting. I had no idea these places still existed and could get away with bad service and grubby premises. At various times during my half-hour I was laughing out loud and Sofia couldn't figure out why. For example when she was cleaning her armpits and her lady bits with a wet-wipe before the action - gross!!!
On the plus side it turned out that Sofia has a very nice pair of top bollocks and I spent much of my time focused on them. In fact she's a pretty tidy size 10/12 and as she's mid-twenties I was more than happy with my choice. Oral was without, sex covered obviously and only missionary was allowed. She was mostly disinterested but I managed a bit of fun and got a few smiles from her. I really didn't mind the "lower quality" on this occasion - you get what you pay for! She lightened up a lot after the action and was quite fun and flirty - probably after a tip that she didn't get!
For lots of reasons outline above, this place wouldn't be for everyone! Most of the time it wouldn't be for me either!! But it gets a positive because it fulfilled a purpose, I enjoyed the nostalgia and Sofia's breasts are worthy of a place in the wank bank.
