External Link/Members OnlyAtlantic Wharf
This is my first review and is full of apologies. So 1st apologies to the community for not contributing until reminded by the site itself and for using the site and punting (mostly massage venues) without putting back. Not an excuse I'm just busy and have been selfish but now resolved to contribute more. Next for not getting any names and for carrying out an awful punt.
So, in cardiff for business, had done my research and booked a hotel round the corner. Comms good, rang and booked for 2hrs ahead. Parking locally looked busy but I was in hotel car park so not a problem for me on this one. Location is very discreet tucked away facing the water with just the lone fisherman parked out the front but under his brolly so no contact necessary.
On arrival I was delighted to see an attractive, slim 30 something thai lady on reception who confirmed my booking, took my £45 for the hour and guided me into a curtained room to the right. Then my not attractive late 40s massususe appeared! Apologies to you pet, coz you were canny but not bonny which isn't nice to say but we have to be honest. So stripped off and onto the low level double mattress arrangement. What followed was a proper hard thai massage. Google/Watch Greg Davies on Thai Massage - Live at the Apollo - Series 6 - BBC ... - ...to get an idea. I'm a big lad at 17st but the lass was no lightweight either so the grunts heard outside were not what they seemed unfortunately but to be fair we were both laughing after a while as I don't think she gets permission to knee walk up a fat bloke very often. Early doors, got what seemed like a sneaky cc swipe but near disaster as her sharp nails almost sliced one of me arse grapes in two and she looked confused to find jabba the hut stuck to the ceiling.
Now I've done a fair few establishments and I'm not shy in asking but I let time pass as this hard massage was the business taking out all the knots (and a few vertebra) and it was 45 mins before the turn. A few knocks of the old man with her hands and I was confident of a h/e.... and then she starts the climbing and kneeling all over the front of me. Now whilst not the fairest or slimmest maiden, she had a low cut top and a big set of norks so I pointed out the tent in towel and she said.... No, I not do that! Horrified silence for a minute then she said the name of a girl (next and biggest apology coz I was not listening) will do that if she free, you want me go get? You know how much? " Er, duh, Yes and £20." So my now platonic friend vanishes to get the wanky girl but after 5 mins of no attention, the tent pole had vanished. Then, and no exaggeration gents, the most stunning 20ish smiling slim sexy Oriental lady came in, knelt down next to me and started straight away on massaging the sleeping tent snake. Next apology is to mankind. To both of our confusion, nothing stirred! Don't know if was the shock of going from 1 extreme to the other but for 5 mins total stage fright in front of possibly the prettiest massage lass I've seen. Can it get worse? Yes, we get a semi going and it fires of in semi status. Never knew that was possible! She looked confused, made cooing noises, went to get the wet wipes and looked more confused to come back in to find me with a full boner!! She laughed and said, no more time, you have to take home to the wife and then fell about more when I said, that's no good, she sent me here for you to deal with it.
Weirdest punt/massage ever! Would I return? Definitely. A great massage and the sexiest hj practioner to date. Hopefully my dick isnt such a dick and I will try to get some names (in the unlikely event the same girls are still there)
