About to have my first BDSM puntin experience, safety advice urgently needed!

[submissive5666]

Hi! I did read the FAQ and I did run a search and find some interesting and valuable information about safety when punting.

However, one topic that's not covered in detail (probably because it's niche) is advice on safety/privacy from the power exchange community (AKA, paying to have your balls kicked: rolleyes:)

I must admit I'm 41 and married, and what has held me back so far is the fear of :

a) Ending up tied up and the previously nice lady turns psycho, which at worst could turn into kidnapping or at best a mugging (in both cases, however, my 'secret' life would be uncovered and my work/family life effectively over).

b) Being in a place rigged with cameras and getting blackmailed a week later, or outright publicly humiliated at work (and for those with public jobs, that's also game over)

c) Being put in a position of inability to defend oneself leading to going over limits (with at worst, the threat of unsafe sex, which is terrifying of course!)


However talking to my therapist (yes - believe or not my therapist encouraged me to just go punting, she's great! - and realizing that my very specific fetishes (various kinky stuff, very embarrassing) will never be fulfilled by my wife or any other partner (simply because they are well, too specific to be of any enjoyment to a 'normal' person), I decided i won't die without having at least tried out all my fantasies, and punting is great for that.

I contacted individual workers, escorts, etc, and i'm glad to say, I have received a few replies! But apart from one agency (can i name them here?) that appeared very professional, I'm not sure how I can protect myself from the above 3 points. I thought, for example, ensuring that at no time I would be fully bound, and also to insure that the session would take place in a hotel, not a dungeon/brothel (to avoid cameras or 'surprises').

Anyways I'm sure by now you all understand what my problem is, and I'd love to hear your experienced opinions, tips, and advice on how to successfully be a male sub in the punting world!

[hungrypunt]

Assuming your not a troll.

About to have your first ? full on ?
Id get to know and visit a few times first. Post a link to the provider here no doubt someone can post info about it/them.

[Jimmyredcab]

Only see an experienced dominatrix, she will discuss your limits before the session starts, you can make requests like "no marks".

Also -------------- most have a "safe word" system where you agree a word that terminates a certain activity.

[dfg]

You don’t say where you are but my suggestion is to find somewhere or someone that has a track record and ‘brand’ value ie they’re well known for quality and have a lot to lose if they lose their reputation.

For example in London London Retreat have an oustanding rep for what they do. There are no cameras - so no issue with question (b), and they vet the girls they employ so you won’t have issues with (a) or (c). In fact they have a great deal to lose if someone were to come on here and say they’d mis-treated them.

As a previous poster has said, go along for a first session to check it all out. Just take cash and don’t take any form of ID, and then you’ll sleep well at night.

Do your research here to find the right place with a quality reputation. They see newbies every day. Just be open and say you’re just starting and this is what you’re into. The more specific you are the more they can help you have a good time. Trust me, there is very little they won’t have been asked for before, they're pro’s and they’re very good at what they do - if you find a well regarded place.

In most instances they’re thoroughly decent and honest people. I’m not here to tout for LR but have been there several times, and know that my valuables are definitely going to be just fine while I’m in shower. They have a good rep and are not inclined to fuck it up by getting into short term money making tactics like theiving or blackmail. 

There are a ton of negative reviews on here, which are great at warning people from the thieves and losers, but you’d be surprised, there are many very decent people giving good services who value their reputation.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not getting all fluffy here. This is excatly the same as finding a hardworking and trustworthy mechanic for my car. It’s a transactional relationship but I know that he’s good at what he does and that he won’t fuck me over so I return to his business and recommend him to others.

What you’re after is no different. You just need to do some research, use common sense and enjoy yourself.

Hope this helps.

 

[sealion]

I must admit I'm 41 and married, and what has held me back so far is the fear of :

a) Ending up tied up and the previously nice lady turns psycho, which at worst could turn into kidnapping or at best a mugging (in both cases, however, my 'secret' life would be uncovered and my work/family life effectively over).

b) Being in a place rigged with cameras and getting blackmailed a week later, or outright publicly humiliated at work (and for those with public jobs, that's also game over)

Have a !punting wallet" in the same way you have a punting phone. Leave your main wallet in the car boot/glovebox or at home - anywhere in fact except taking it to the punt. The Punting wallet only contains what you need to bring with you, and doesn't contain anything that can identify you.

If they can't ID you then blackmail isn't a problem - they can have all the pics they want if they don't know who to threaten them with.

[brandonpete]

Submisive666...if any of the points I make have been made in the above threads then they are obviously relevant and these are based on how I 'operate' for want of a better word when entering the 'world' which you intend to go in to. I'm assuming that you've already made the booking.

          1)  Your first meet should be to establish rules and 'No no's'...again you may get asked to fill out a health form and disclaimer and have a 'taster' session
               untethered.
          2)  Never ever take anything on you that can identify you..only the fee (I even take off my watch and neck chain).
          3) Your mobile should be a 'burner'..with only their contact number on and maybe other Wg's no's.
          4)  Only go for tethering and or blindfold if your 100% sure of the Mistress.

It's a different set of rules if you haven't yet booked a session...starting with ..only go to well established Madam's...not any of the Roms etc who advertise on AW.
External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only very good.......and before any 'Trolls' start,I'm nothing to do with here,just an occasional client...or External Link/Members Only

           

         
       

[submissive5666]

Thank you so much, everyone, for the answers - I'll be frank most of it didn't even occur to me, which betrays how new I am to this - I guess it's a bit of a reality check hey? It's of course made complicated because I've been dreaming of this for a long, long time.

@hungrypunt - i had 'normal sex' on the regular with my various long term partners (as i said i'm 41) but never 'full on bdsm'. Regarding naming the service provider, is that not against the rules? If not i'll gladly post it to make sure i'm not getting into anything risky.

@Jimmyredcab - 'no marks' - indeed... - thanks for the tip!

@dfg - wow - thank you so much for the level headed advice and the recommendation. I will have a look. Cheers!

@sealion - thanks to my background in opsec i already have a few burners, so i'm covered there, thanks regardless because with the all the excitement of the 'first time' i could as well brought my main haha.. thanks!

@brandonpete I didn't know these sites. I'll check them out, thank you!

PS: yup i realize i have much research to do now I'll put things on ice for a little while until i can get in there with a clear , level-headed viewpoint . Thanks again!