Yes, I'm off work today and bored!
Got a hot punt lined up for later today so thought in the mean time why not start a little thread for any newbies about to take the plunge into the murky punt game. The hope is that many of those seasoned vets will add their sage advice to the thread thus saving us new lads from harm, avoidable wasted cash, frustration and disappointment.Here's what I learned from UKP so far:
Get yourself a cheap punting phone, something you won't mind losing. Leave no trace, if poss wipe it frequently. Leave your Galaxy Samsung in the car.
Take just the cash you need for the punt, may extra £10-20 for unexpected CIM or whatever. You never know!
Ask to go for a wee early doors, and check out the state of the shower/towels etc. Best before agreeing a massage with all that greasy goop on you. Try explaining that to the missus.
If poss, take your wallet with you if going for a pre-podge shower. You don't want, " you lost your wallet? No I haven't see it soo soorry, please leave now".
If near a computer, check out the punts address on street view. I had a hot punt lined up once with a hot Romany Gypsy type, got there it was a run-down area in a Romanian community in Harehills, and there were at least 15 Romanian men in various gardens smoking and drinking beer, street kid types playing with fighting dogs in the street outside her place and a large Romanian woman in a headscarfe sharpening a large knife on the door step. I got the fuck outta there.
If anything feels even slightly wrong about a punt, ie too many male voices in the house or around the immediate vincinity, walk! The last thing you want is 4-5 Big Romanians with bats bursting in on you mid-punt. Don't mean to put you off but it could happen.
So as not to scare any newbies too much I'll end on a joke.....
" How do you make a Hormone?"........ Ans: Put sand in her lube! gettit? Whore moan - Hormone? Fuck you that's funny! Good day gents.
