External Link/Members OnlyWell, who wants to hear about the worst punt of my life?
So, Bobby's not had any proper reviews on here, so I suppose you could say that I TOFTT on this one. To be honest, I'd be more likely to describe it as taking a bullet for the team, you can thank me later. This punt only happened yesterday, and thought it best to get the review done while it's still fresh in my mind, though honestly I don't know how I'll ever forget this one.
Anyway, comms were all done via text message on the day. Very poor comms and very slow to reply, but I eventually arranged an hour meeting with Bobby for £120 all in, including anal (my favourite, and the reason I opted for her, as well as her fake tits). I headed down after work, kept her in the loop and text when I arrived 5 minutes early at about 8:25. No reply, so I decided to give her a call. She answered, and I could immediately hear from her voice that she was a) older than she had said on her profile; b) either drunk or stoned; and c) had completely forgotten that I was coming.
Now I'll be honest, at this point I literally turned around to walk away, but unfortunately Little Henry was in control at this point, and thought "Fuck it, I've come here and might as well give it a go".
She asked me to give her five minutes to finish getting ready, and she'd text me the flat number when she had done so. Fair enough, I was a few minutes early. 15 minutes later, she finally texts me the flat number, I take the lift up and knock on the door. No reply, so I sent her a text to say "I'm outside your door, I don't particularly want to knock loudly in case the neighbours hear". Once again, no reply, so I knock again - this time loudly - and she finally opens the door.
Remember that part when I said she was "getting ready"? Yeah, she wasn't ready at all. She opened the door in a vest top and trackies, no make-up on, hair in a bun, and showed me in, this is where it starts to get interesting.
I'm not sure if it was her, the flat, or a combination of the two, but once again my brain was telling me to walk away, but Little Henry pipes up again and says "Fuck it, I've come here, might as well give it a go".
There's not a snowball's chance in a microwave that Bobby is actually 43, more like 53 if she is a day. Without makeup on she's a pretty grim sight honestly, and I'm ashamed to say that I didn't turn tail and fuck off. The entrance of the flat is filled with painting kit and general detritus, and there's no carpet on the bedroom floor.
I handed over the notes as requested, went to the bathroom (which was rank) for a piss and then returned to the bedroom to wait. Bobby left the room to store the notes away and "finish getting ready". So by this time I'm getting proper nervous - so nervous that I actually open my phone app and dial 999 ready to call in case this is a robbery type scenario. 20 minutes later, she finally emerges from the other room, only to go into the bathroom and take another 10 minutes finishing up. I could literally hear her shaving her vag from the bedroom.
I've already got my exit strategy in my head, I'm well aware that I'm down £120 with no chance of getting it back, it's already 45 minutes past the time I arrived and I just want to GTFO.
So Bobby finally comes into the bedroom wearing a bra, thong, minimal makeup and her hair still in the same bun it was in earlier. Don't quite know what the fuck she was doing because it sure as hell wasn't "getting ready".
As Little Henry hasn't seen any action in weeks, she gets down on her knees, pops him in her mouth and a few minutes later she has a load in her gob. I'll be honest, the oral was the only part of this meet that was any good. She steps into the bathroom to spit it out and brush her teeth, while I pull my clothes on and say I got a text from work saying I had to get back in. She apologises for how long it's taken to get things started, and says she'll do me a deal for next time, an hour meet at a half hour rate.
Bobby, if you're reading this, thanks for the offer but I think I'll pass. Though any of you lads on here that have read this review in full and want to take up Bobby's offer in my stead, be my guest. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to wash the smell of smoke out of my clothes as well as visit a clinic just in case.
