You know you're a punter when...

[kayak]

Its a warm hot and sunny day, and you see an attractive girl, wearing very skimpy clothing

She has a cat box, with a cat in the box, and you just want to say to her......Nice Pussy                cat 

Or at least "can I see your pussy please?"

I'll get my coat.

[Mr Rollison]

Watching Nothing to Declare Australia this morning.
50 plus, slim Thai woman arrives on a tourist visa.

As I like a mature masseuse, my first thought was that I wouldn't be too disappointed. She did give me an extras would be expensive vibe.

Refused entry as she was going to work in a massage parlour.😇

[Nomerzypuntr]

You know you are a punter:
1. When you associate tube stations with WGs names.
2. When amongst your most frequently visited websites there are escort related websites.
3. When you have a monthly whoring budget.
4. When you know all the local hotels and their prices.
5. When you celebrate the 10, 50, 100, 200 different WG milestones with an outcall overnight.

💯 relatable. When someone asks/ talks about any random street, SP name and face comes to my mind first. I get to know about places name, value for money escorts by AW, UKP

[Brokenshed]

When you’re in the back of  a hearse and for no reason start remembering past punts

[Thephoenix]

When you’re in the back of  a hearse and for no reason start remembering past punts

Sitting I hope!!!! 😁

[Grigore]

when you know London postcodes better than cab drivers

[jseop109]

Quote from: Brokenshed on Today at 04:17:50 pm

    When you’re in the back of  a hearse and for no reason start remembering past punts

Sitting I hope!!!! 😁

Unless there really is a happy afterlife ...

[Steely Dan]

...when you see your neighbors' son's girlfriend.  But instead of thinking, 'wow, back in the day I could have pulled that' but rather 'looks similar to the babe I shagged last week'.
 

[sparkus]

when you know London postcodes better than cab drivers

We ought to do a Knowledge on here.

[Nomerzypuntr]

...when you see your neighbors' son's girlfriend.  But instead of thinking, 'wow, back in the day I could have pulled that' but rather 'looks similar to the babe I shagged last week'.

Yeah, coz it’s easy to go for SP, no drama just pay money have fun. Main thing No rejections

[myothernameis]

Local beauty salon doing father days special

Gents father days facial special 

[trickyd2]

When you pull up to a SP's location and see this car registration outside

[trickyd2]

Sorry couldnt upload the photo
It reads MI55 STD

[myothernameis]

Hot weather, and some girls wearing skin coloured and tight leggings, which leaves to much imagination on what you might do   

[Captainhowdy666]

Talking to mate about buying electric cars earlier and was one step away from saying Adultwork instead of Autotrader.

[Captainhowdy666]

You know you’re a punter when You’ve spent the last week planning and plotting how you’re going to fill your boots when in Benidorm next week.
Strategic plans worked out, guessing time windows when away from the family , excuses as to why you have to “nip off” and get something from a shop and hope you can get in and out of a pussy without being delayed in shut a short window of opportunity.

[DouglasReynholm]

You know you’re a punter when You’ve spent the last week planning and plotting how you’re going to fill your boots when in Benidorm next week.
Strategic plans worked out, guessing time windows when away from the family , excuses as to why you have to “nip off” and get something from a shop and hope you can get in and out of a pussy without being delayed in shut a short window of opportunity.

Sounds like you're going to get caught m8!

[Captainhowdy666]

Just had an Amazon delivery
Driver was early 20’s, Eastern European,5ft at best,  stick thin in tiny little denim shorts.
Thought, I would pay you more for an hour than you’ll get all day in this heat.

[Googly7]

You're on a plane to Poland trying to spot which girls are heading home for some rest.

[PilotMan]

Just had an Amazon delivery
Driver was early 20’s, Eastern European,5ft at best,  stick thin in tiny little denim shorts.
Thought, I would pay you more for an hour than you’ll get all day in this heat.

I take it he was fit then 

[RedKettle]

You are out sat with your wife trying to ignore the old bird on the next table chatting with her friend. The old bird being a retired escort who used to be a regular who you had many a session with including some great role plays.  To make it worse this is near your home and the woman clearly now lives nearby.

Hoping that what is often said about the wish for discretion being both ways is true!

Fuck me that was a stressful lunch.

[webpunter]

You are out sat with your wife trying to ignore the old bird on the next table chatting with her friend. The old bird being a retired escort who used to be a regular who you had many a session with including some great role plays.  To make it worse this is near your home and the woman clearly now lives nearby.

Hoping that what is often said about the wish for discretion being both ways is true!

Fuck me that was a stressful lunch.

 
Did you lose your appetite ?

Might be a plan when taking her indoors out that you explore some places further afield
Maybe increase the budget slightly to get her interest tho not too much as this might invite Q's

[webpunter]

Having a peruse of news on Sky Apple the BBC on my apps
Up pops Puntland
External Link/Members Only
Maybe not ! 

Hidden Image/Members Only

[myothernameis]

The new Spiderman movie, Brand New Day, did Peter just release one hell of an ejacualtion 

[Captainhowdy666]

Went for a meal last night and a mate paid his half with a wad of cash.
I just looked at it and thought “I know what I’d be using that cash for and I would be eating so thing else”

[RearrangeGinger]

I find it really funny when you're outside a block of flats in your car and you see some other bloke in his car and you both know exactly why you're there.

[simon07]

May already been covered?

You are the only one in the gym men’s changing room with a shaved scrotum, pubes area.

[webpunter]

Went for a meal last night and a mate paid his half with a wad of cash.
I just looked at it and thought “I know what I’d be using that cash for and I would be eating so thing else”

I take it that you put the whole bill on your card & pocketed the folding
Its then there to be spent
Useful for those with nosey OHs & especially those with joint accounts 

[Captainhowdy666]

I take it that you put the whole bill on your card & pocketed the folding
Its then there to be spent
Useful for those with nosey OHs & especially those with joint accounts 

Done that so many times over the years and amazed the missus has never asked where the cash went.
I’ll just say I filled my car with fuel.
The other trick is to top up my revolut when on holiday so three cash available when we get back that she can’t track.

[webpunter]

Done that so many times over the years and amazed the missus has never asked where the cash went.
I’ll just say I filled my car with fuel.
The other trick is to top up my revolut when on holiday so three cash available when we get back that she can’t track.

Back in the day when the ex was in play i'd do this at every opportunity
No joint account however she'd occasionally open my bank statement letter & say sorry thought it was mine
Yeah right
What she didn't have the brain power for was to look at my credit card statements which she couldn't say opened in error
Was ace when a load of mates out & quite a few of them would pay cash [i figured they dont go punting]
On a pre xmas meet i've seen £500+ come in.  Nice
& sometimes there'd be a seasonal credit card spending bonus 2% 3% so a win win [not so common now if at all]
Most people now put things on card dont carry cash so less opportunity
The civvy aint gonna be seeing my statements however i still like paying for stuff when the opportunity arises & generating cash
Like its a habit from days gone by & i earmark the folding accordingly

Edit:  Revolut is a good idea & sharing for fellow UKPers who have a trailer in tow   

[Thephoenix]

When you take 2 dicks to a punt.

A dictashag & a dictaphone, because your memory's so bad you have to record a running commentary to write your review.

[Captainhowdy666]

That time of the year again.
Every news reports is talking about A-Levels but they need to tell me what T-Levels are?
Is that trans?