Author Topic: You know you're a punter when... (Read 244977 times)

magnetico · « **Reply #950 on:** July 14, 2018, 11:19:08 pm »

Quote from: Cumberland on July 14, 2018, 11:00:52 pm

check that you’ve cleared your internet history and all punting emails are deleted

Why not a browser in incognito mode and a webmail??

Plan R · « **Reply #951 on:** July 16, 2018, 10:00:50 am »

You hear about a new hotel being built not 100 miles away, and all you think is - " YESSSSSS !!! HOOKERS !! WoHOOOOO !!

"

Quote

HILTON hotel bosses have put pen to paper on a deal to build a 107-room hotel as part of Southend United’s new stadium complex.
External Link/Members Only

mrdiamond77 · « **Reply #952 on:** July 16, 2018, 06:47:31 pm »

Got in to work today and the first caller/client had the surname Punter. I tried not to laugh.

nato1979 · « **Reply #953 on:** July 16, 2018, 08:20:40 pm »

You use up 90% of your holidays to meet your favourites tourers during the working day.

buckrabbit · « **Reply #954 on:** July 17, 2018, 02:44:55 pm »

Quote from: tom269u001 on November 17, 2013, 12:29:28 pm

You look at the number of cash withdrawals on your bank statements and think "Fuck"!

Yeh done that too.

buckrabbit · « **Reply #955 on:** July 17, 2018, 02:48:37 pm »

Quote from: Jimmyredcab on November 17, 2013, 10:42:29 pm

When you look at the checkout girl in Tesco and decide what you would pay her.

Looked at a checkout girl in Safeways (before it was morrisons) once and knew exactly how much I had paid her.

Avg_Joe · « **Reply #956 on:** July 17, 2018, 02:48:52 pm »

or thought "what the fuck did i spend that 200 on" ....... then realise the punt was that bad you'd tried to block the memory out

Horizontal pleasures · « **Reply #957 on:** July 18, 2018, 10:05:07 am »

Quote from: buckrabbit on July 17, 2018, 02:48:37 pm

Looked at a checkout girl in Safeways (before it was morrisons) once and knew exactly how much I had paid her.

but forgot to write a review ....

thickandlongguy · « **Reply #958 on:** July 18, 2018, 10:26:27 am »

you look a hot women who you assume to be WG and the question pops up in your mind HOW MUCH

notcalledchris · « **Reply #959 on:** July 18, 2018, 12:12:17 pm »

Quote from: Horizontal pleasures on July 18, 2018, 10:05:07 am

but forgot to write a review ....

Please review your punts (not your Supermarket)

Loki · « **Reply #960 on:** July 18, 2018, 01:17:00 pm »

Quote from: Hormann on November 16, 2013, 09:09:49 pm

2. You can easily get a huge variety of different shower types to work at the right temperature, well almost.

so true....

itk · « **Reply #961 on:** July 18, 2018, 04:05:31 pm »

You go to watch an dvd, open the case to find £50 stashed away. Forgotten punting fund now going to be put to use this week.

Cumberland · « **Reply #962 on:** July 18, 2018, 07:21:27 pm »

As I walk along the street tactically positioned a few paces behind an EE hottie, I find myself instinctively cupping my right hand and swinging my arm forward in a slapping motion as I think about doggie with her.

standardpostage · « **Reply #963 on:** July 18, 2018, 09:00:53 pm »

You eat foods that are "supposed" to be, libido enhancing e.g. watermelon, dark chocolate, nuts etc

You may not believe they work, but you hope they do !

It's an age thing, under 40s don't need their libido enhancing !

standardpostage · « **Reply #964 on:** July 18, 2018, 09:45:23 pm »

You shop for polish in the supermarket .

And you think of the Polish birds you've punted with :-)

candec · « **Reply #965 on:** July 19, 2018, 10:54:23 am »

You sneak out of an office party/meeting and you've time on hands for a punt!

Sedition · « **Reply #966 on:** July 19, 2018, 11:05:18 am »

You see a girl in the street wearing a t-shirt that has “Hi hun” written on it and you immediately think she’s a brass

Horizontal pleasures · « **Reply #967 on:** July 20, 2018, 12:32:50 pm »

Cockermouth
when you are cruising AW and see a lady registered in that town.... (nowhere near to me and on the dreaded clickcasual also) but still Cockermouth nudge nudge, imagine living there!

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

conway_hound · « **Reply #968 on:** July 20, 2018, 11:44:12 pm »

When you are in the local garden centre, discussing a new cedar shed with the enthusiastic sales lady, whose nipples are prominent through her thin polo shirt. At the negotiation stage she offers a free erection to be included in the price, which immediately registers as GVFM...

Horizontal pleasures · « **Reply #969 on:** July 21, 2018, 07:18:48 am »

Quote from: Horizontal pleasures on July 20, 2018, 12:32:50 pm

Cockermouth
when you are cruising AW and see a lady registered in that town.... (nowhere near to me and on the dreaded clickcasual also) but still Cockermouth nudge nudge, imagine living there!

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

And there is a suburb of North London called Cockfosters.

Plan R · « **Reply #970 on:** July 21, 2018, 08:47:39 am »

Fingringhoe (External Link/Members Only) is well within range of the punt-mobile.
I did a search for it on AW - but all the WGs just list Colchester.

Finding a Ho in Fingringhoe that had 'Fingering/Finger Play' listed in her likes list would've been the holy grail.
However, it wasn't to be..

Horizontal pleasures · « **Reply #971 on:** July 23, 2018, 07:48:41 am »

when ... you cannot decide whether you visit UKP or AW first when you log on in the morning?

Donnie69 · « **Reply #972 on:** July 23, 2018, 09:55:50 am »

You'd rather spend your birthday fucking two hot young pro$$ies, than with friends.

I can meet my friends another day. I almost always fuck pro$$ies on my birthday.

I tried dating a woman recently. Lots of money spent and no sex given.

MrMatrix · « **Reply #973 on:** July 23, 2018, 10:00:51 am »

Quote from: Horizontal pleasures on July 23, 2018, 07:48:41 am

when ... you cannot decide whether you visit UKP or AW first when you log on in the morning?

So true. Today it was UKP first...

threechilliman · « **Reply #974 on:** July 23, 2018, 10:17:52 am »

Quote from: MrMatrix on July 23, 2018, 10:00:51 am

So true. Today it was UKP first...

Always UKP for me.

Cumberland · « **Reply #975 on:** July 23, 2018, 11:06:54 am »

Quote from: Donnie69 on July 23, 2018, 09:55:50 am

You'd rather spend your birthday fucking two hot young pro$$ies, than with friends.

....or spending time with family or children or going to work or on holiday or anything - as nothing in civvy life compares with your secret life of going missing for an afternoon and getting balls deep up the arse of a slim blonde twenty-something hottie (then skipping away without any of the GF grief or hassle).

brandonpete · « **Reply #976 on:** July 23, 2018, 11:19:05 am »

You know you're a punter when shagging the wife and saying "how much to cum on your face"?...oops!

jeanphillipe · « **Reply #977 on:** July 23, 2018, 06:43:33 pm »

...on UKPunting most of the threads shows your name commenting last. think ill take a break for today

.

Chuckman · « **Reply #978 on:** July 28, 2018, 10:21:45 am »

There was a news story on TV about the hunt for a fake taxi driver and my first thought was "blimey, I didn't realise he was so popular!".

Horizontal pleasures · « **Reply #979 on:** July 28, 2018, 09:56:56 pm »

some years ago when I was 70 and so I was no longer able to say 69 when asked how old I am!

django0700 · « **Reply #980 on:** August 04, 2018, 12:36:30 am »

When you hear the chap on the new O2 family ad, say:

‘is it wrong to lie and say I am working late when in fact I am having a quick one’,

and your first thought is- Quickie? you know you are a Punter

webpunter · « **Reply #981 on:** August 04, 2018, 12:40:42 am »

When you see something, whatever it may be, and instantly think that it will be good to post on this thread
Had a pearler earlier today. Now trying to remember what the fuck it was

Bluenose · « **Reply #982 on:** August 04, 2018, 08:19:12 pm »

When you sell a bed on facebook and two romanian girls buy it, the first thought in my head was i wonder if they're on Aw

LLPunting · « **Reply #983 on:** August 04, 2018, 08:46:15 pm »

Quote from: Bluenose on August 04, 2018, 08:19:12 pm

When you sell a bed on facebook and two romanian girls buy it, the first thought in my head was i wonder if they're on Aw

How much for the bed?
Should've traded it for a 3 hr threesome regardless of their AW status.

Horizontal pleasures · « **Reply #984 on:** August 04, 2018, 10:40:11 pm »

Quote from: Bluenose on August 04, 2018, 08:19:12 pm

When you sell a bed on facebook and two romanian girls buy it, the first thought in my head was i wonder if they're on Aw

so when you punt them please do a review.

Bluenose · « **Reply #985 on:** August 07, 2018, 02:29:37 pm »

Quote from: LLPunting on August 04, 2018, 08:46:15 pm

How much for the bed?
Should've traded it for a 3 hr threesome regardless of their AW status.

bed was 35 quid lol, my other half did the selling, so would have loved to do a trade, but dont think she would have approved of that conversation!

sparkus · « **Reply #986 on:** August 09, 2018, 07:33:01 pm »

In the TV adaptation of David Peace's 'Red Riding' (not read the books), the boss copper played by David Morrissey turns round to a younger copper in a meeting and asks him what his "hobbies" are. He says he has none and then the boss copper says "Surely you must, what do you do at weekends?!"

He replies "Chewing minge, gov." and shrugs.

Nothing wrong with that.

Hallon · « **Reply #987 on:** August 09, 2018, 08:32:56 pm »

New to this scene, and I am sure this has been mentioned before, but I do look at women sometimes now and think “£100 an hour”, £120 an hour” etc.

Took a train journey at weekend, had the last double seat in the carriage on the left hand side of the train, and sat in the aisle seat...

On the opposite side of the carriage was sat a young lad, who took the window seat...

Just before the train pulled away from the station, a mid twenties black girl got on, and sat next to the young guy, but with her back to him, so she was facing me at a 90 degree angle.

She wa stunningly beautiful, dressed immaculately, and her ankle length skirt, which had a split all the way up the front certainly caught my attention.

All the time we shared the journey, I was wondering whether she was a WG, and if so, was probably in the £150 an hour bracket.

Maybe I should have jumped off when she looked back at me, but I was too busy deciding whether she was a WG.

Herts_Outcaller · « **Reply #988 on:** August 11, 2018, 06:29:20 pm »

You know you're a punter when...

You have an absolutely amazing hobbie which gives you everything you ever wanted, and you want to tell your mates about it, but you can't speak to anybody for fear that your whole world will fall apart if your partner finds out.

So you turn to an online message board of men who also enjoy your passion

django0700 · « **Reply #989 on:** August 11, 2018, 09:30:13 pm »

Quote from: Herts_Outcaller on August 11, 2018, 06:29:20 pm

You know you're a punter when...

You have an absolutely amazing hobbie which gives you everything you ever wanted, and you want to tell your mates about it, but you can't speak to anybody for fear that your whole world will fall apart if your partner finds out.

So you turn to an online message board of men who also enjoy your passion

Horizontal pleasures · « **Reply #990 on:** August 11, 2018, 10:41:51 pm »

... when you are driving along on a motorway and you are behind a truck with a crane which the company is named in huge letters WS and DANGER KEEP CLEAR.

Pondy · « **Reply #991 on:** August 11, 2018, 11:16:44 pm »

Quote from: Herts_Outcaller on August 11, 2018, 06:29:20 pm

You know you're a punter when...

You have an absolutely amazing hobbie which gives you everything you ever wanted, and you want to tell your mates about it, but you can't speak to anybody for fear that your whole world will fall apart if your partner finds out.

So you turn to an online message board of men who also enjoy your passion

+1

Bogof60 · « **Reply #992 on:** August 12, 2018, 09:34:02 am »

When you are in a different region and drive past various hotels and wonder if that is the one they are talking about in that particular regional section.

joe diddley · « **Reply #993 on:** August 12, 2018, 09:42:49 am »

.. when you realise that you are familiar with an extensive knowledge of the workings of a great many shower units and the quirks of each of these.

davxx · « **Reply #994 on:** August 12, 2018, 09:36:15 pm »

Was in Glasgow today watching the European Cycling and thinking I have punted in various buildings around the City Centre that the race passed..

webpunter · « **Reply #995 on:** August 12, 2018, 10:25:08 pm »

Furniture Village ad on the TV
There is a brand "PRIVATE LABEL BY calligaris"

External Link/Members Only

Mention of Private Label & my punting brain processes this as Callgirls

Hidden Image/Members Only

uncle jessie · « **Reply #996 on:** August 12, 2018, 11:53:37 pm »

When you are in Iceland shopping,looked at the hot little brunette on the checkout and the little fella started to rise.I thought if she was up for it and there was somewhere quite we could go,she could no doubt earn over 2 days wages in half an hour.Sure if civvies where aware of the money to be made there would be more WG's .

shauno23 · « **Reply #997 on:** August 12, 2018, 11:59:11 pm »

I do that now.

Every time I see a fit girl I think 'wonder if she'd fuck me for cash'.

It's getting bad now. I've even contemplated making offers to hotties on Facebook. Just can't see it working though.

One reason I love Thailand. Pretty much every bird is available at the right price.

sparkus · « **Reply #998 on:** August 13, 2018, 07:55:53 am »

Quote from: uncle jessie on August 12, 2018, 11:53:37 pm

When you are in Iceland shopping,looked at the hot little brunette on the checkout and the little fella started to rise.I thought if she was up for it and there was somewhere quite we could go,she could no doubt earn over 2 days wages in half an hour.Sure if civvies where aware of the money to be made there would be more WG's .

I rarely shop in Iceland these days, but a year or two back there was a Jamaican lady in front of me who was 50p short and causing a scene. It did occur to me to pony it up and then see where that went but I didn't have any change on me (tbh I'd have done it anyway just to get the queue moving).

InstaPunt · « **Reply #999 on:** August 13, 2018, 01:28:47 pm »

When you notice x10 the number of innuendos on live sports commentary then any of your mates

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Author Topic: You know you're a punter when... (Read 244977 times)

thickandlongguy

Loki

brandonpete

Chuckman

InstaPunt