You know you're a punter when...

[Dime]

When you get paid at the end of the month, your first thought is which WG you can spend some of the money on. When you walk past guys standing outside blocks of flat waiting to be buzzed in, and wonder if they're going for a punt. You automatically expect other guys to understand acronyms such as CIM and OWO and talk about them without thinking twice , forgetting you're not on UKP.

[MilesPrower]

I go shopping and make mental comments:

"I'd be pleased if she popped out from behind the door"

[Goop82]

I have not even started yet but I am already ticking half the list above...

Especially looking at civvies and thinking wow. You could make a fortune!

[LanceVance]

...you see an attractive young woman carrying luggage on the tube and think 'she's on tour...'

[mikexxlong]

When you come across any EE girl(s) outside of punting,
And you can’t help but think pro$$ie 

[Tricky Dickie]

...you see an attractive young woman carrying luggage on the tube and think 'she's on tour...'

I spend a lot of time living in hotels for work. I get a similar thing when I see an attractive woman check in without much luggage. I instantly jump onto AdultWork to see if anyone has said they are touring in that area. It's never worked yet... 

[Jim Panzee]

Saw a woman today in the supermarket. She had one tit bigger than the other. I thought wow I would definatly walk if I was presented with that.

[E.L. Wisty]

When you are mucked about.

[Boringbob]

When you come across any EE girl(s) outside of punting,
And you can’t help but think pro$$ie

Ha ha yes
Passed one the other day. Fucking fit sour faced (but pretty) Romanian.  Had a small wheeled suitcase and was dressed to party.  Had to go back with my phone set on video and walk past a few times!

Still not found her on AW tho! Maybe I should post a screen grab

[shaunogg]

I think you know your a punter when, you see a new member post a topic ot thread on here and you can predict how many hours or days before they get banned
.

[Brazilian Martian]

When you are mucked about.

Who mucked you around was it Sophie again?

[Roth]

When giving a facial isn't a beauty treatment.

[Horizontal pleasures]

when you open a local paper (in your own town or whenever travelling) whether online or 'hard copy' and you go directly to the small ads at the back to see what gives.

[Horizontal pleasures]

when the words 'hard copy' turn up and you wonder what is in the local paper.

[Horizontal pleasures]

When you look in here and on AW when you start your computer in the morning before you look at your emails or Facebook messages. Same in reverse before you shut down at night.

[Horizontal pleasures]

... when you regularly tell the missus you will be home from work an hour later than reality as you know you might punt on the way back.

Or you call and say you are in Tesco on the way home to see if she wants anything as a way of spinning out the time of being later than you thought, but actually bought some stuff in the morning on the way to work so you could account for the time on the way home ....

[stokiemike]

- you come across two 20 something girls with dark hair in the supermarket doing their shopping (yes it was Aldi).

You are instantly drawn to the fact that they are both wearing tight jeans and heels, one is chunkier than the other but they both are attractive and have dark hair. You think "they look like Romanians" - going on your personal experiences.

One of them has a zip up jacket with the zip half way down revealing a hot cleavage. As you walk past them you hear them speaking in a foreign language suspiciously like Romanian.
You think "Hmmmm £60 for a half hour each / £80 half hour duo".

When you get home you go on AW / Viva Street etc to see if you can find them.......

And get disappointed when you can't!!!!

SM

[luckyleon]

when you're watching The Jeremy Kyle Show and you're able to tell who's a punter and who's not 

this clip appeared in my youtube recommendations, god knows why but I watched it and I realised he's a punter straight away based on the title alone 'is my boyfriend using a secret phone to cheat on me' if you copy and paste the titles (below - part 1 & 2) into youtube you'll see what I mean, definitely telltale signs of a punter; coming back home late, late for work, spending money he couldn't account for, multiple old phones, with deleted messages, some BS by the guy about how he has "water spurt in his face" (his exact words) fixing broken water pipes hence the wet shirts and showers straight after work (more like WG's piss and sweat and cheap perfume) then afterwards in part 2 he fails lie detector test proving he did have sex and kissed someone passionately - and yet he couldn't name who or where he met this girl from, definitively a WG cause he stayed quiet and tried to steer the topic away, I wouldn't blame him with that girlfriend he has (picture below) a bit too benefit street looking for me.

part 1 - Has Security Steve Been Sending Secret Texts to a Guest? | The Jeremy Kyle Show
part 2 - Woman Dumps Her Cheating Boyfriend On Stage | The Jeremy Kyle Show


Hidden Image/Members Only

[E.L. Wisty]

When waiting outside for a long time for the girl to be ready. Then when she calls you, she gives unclear directions to her place.

[Spawny Get]

I suppose when Nicki Chapman was talking about her 'Chapper's Cuppa Club' on Radio 2 earlier this week and announced that she was a T-Girl, my ears pricked up

[jaydefo24]

...you see an attractive young woman carrying luggage on the tube and think 'she's on tour...'

Haha yes I've done that one 

[jaydefo24]

- you come across two 20 something girls with dark hair in the supermarket doing their shopping (yes it was Aldi).

You are instantly drawn to the fact that they are both wearing tight jeans and heels, one is chunkier than the other but they both are attractive and have dark hair. You think "they look like Romanians" - going on your personal experiences.

One of them has a zip up jacket with the zip half way down revealing a hot cleavage. As you walk past them you hear them speaking in a foreign language suspiciously like Romanian.
You think "Hmmmm £60 for a half hour each / £80 half hour duo".

When you get home you go on AW / Viva Street etc to see if you can find them.......

And get disappointed when you can't!!!!

SM

Was that in Sainsbury's in Bristol?

[fredpunter]

Was that in Sainsbury's in Bristol?

My guess is it was in aldi... the clue is in the first sentence 

[aazbo22]

You know you're a punter when..
...........you want to log into your work computer but put you AW or UKP username and password in by mistake!

[Plan R]

You know you're a punter when..

Your not 100% sure you ever want a 'proper' relationship (and all the crap that goes with it) again... 

[quakeroat]

You know you're a punter when...

You log onto AW and UKP more than you do your own Facebook 

[badsin]

Freebeze air freshener reminds you of a agency apartment 

[NervousJ]

You have a chuckle when you buy vanilla ice cream....

[cueball]

You know you're a punter when your mate tells you that his daughter has completed her A levels and you almost ask if she charges extra or includes it in her rate 

Yes, I know, it's old but it's gold 

[Gynaemyte]

Two questions:

(1) Why the fuck have you bumped a thread that is two years old?

(2) Are you under the influence of some mind-bending drugs, because you are talking a complete load of bollocks?

 

1.     Because it appears to have encouraged others.
2a.   No.
2b.   Your powers of perception appear to be quite shallow.

[fed24]

You know your a punter when on a business trip you are sitting in your hotel room looking at multiple punter websites trying to find a hooker available that looks and dresses like an attractive work colleague or client that you saw at a meeting earlier in the day giving you blue balls for the rest of the day.

[Horizontal pleasures]

when you are invited to go punting in Cambridge ....

[GoodIdea]

When you see a car registration that begins OW0... and it reminds you of last night/week.

[Siders69]

you are seen looking nochalent carrying a bottle of plonk whilst standing outside a block of flats waiting to be buzzed in

[spuds]

You're buying a used car and the owner says to you " Treat her with the respect she deserves and she'll look after you" and you think he's a spanner.

[PaintBrush]

When you ask the OH for DFK, OWO, CIM, RO and a 69

[PaintBrush]

And she replys 'OK, but it's an extra £20 for anal'

[Horizontal pleasures]

You are offered a choice of whisky brands to drink and you choose VAT69 ....

[Horizontal pleasures]

A few years ago when asked my age of course I accurately stated it as 69, and my mind started to wander ....

[lcrowley]

When you notice red heart shaped pillows in shops and smile

[webpunter]

You know you're a punter when:

1/  you wish you could put punting as a skill on your CV.  Its one of my best skills 
2/  you're proud of your AW FB - but can't tell anyone
3/  listen to blokes going on about lap dancing & what they managed to get up to.  Knowing that they've just wasted a shit load of cash for jack-shit
4/  you've retired from going lap-dancing.  Went once on a blokes night out - knowing that this would get back to the OH.  Got the comment "oh - what a surprise - you went lap dancing"  Stupid bitch - looking completely in the wrong direction 
5/  you can't remember how many WGs you've actually had.  I have this in round no's + / - 10 or 20
6/  regularly price up civvies
7/  can accurately guess [most times] what the AW burd will charge b4 scrolling down the profile
8/  spot a duff AW profile a mile off - without even checking the FB / on here
9/  forget to check the verification pic - as so often not visible
10/ you start thinking about UKP review on way back from punt

Thats enuf from me

[Ali Katt]

You know you're a punter when:


10/ you start thinking about UKP review on way back from punt

Thats enuf from me

You know it's a shit punt when writing the review is more pleasurable than the punt itself.

[webpunter]

You know it's a shit punt when writing the review is more pleasurable than the punt itself.

Too true.  But at least there is the opportunity to try & make the review witty so that UKP'ers can all have a good laarf

[Horizontal pleasures]

when ... you roll on deodorant in your crotch as well as your armpits.

[webpunter]

when ... you roll on deodorant in your crotch as well as your armpits.

when you know not to open one of your links either before or whilst eating.  Just jestin' 

Who the fuck uses a roll-on ? Reminds me of ball or 'arsehole' - The Swedish Chemists Shop: External Link/Members Only

[anonyorks]

You go from:

"I'd give her one"

To

"I'd pay £150 for a hour with that"

[Sir Lance-a-lot]

You're only interested in what a woman looks like from the boobs down, rather than from the neck up.

[johnstrong]

When you're sitting on the tube with a hard- on thinking about your pending punt at the next stop. Jesus that's me right now!

[Horizontal pleasures]

You go past an advertisement, seen from the top of a bus, and you start thinking of another punt ....



Hidden Image/Members Only

[threechilliman]

7/  can accurately guess [most times] what the AW burd will charge b4 scrolling down the profile

You scroll down, see the rate and think 'You've got to be fucking joking love'

tcm