You know you're a punter when...

[Horizontal pleasures]

You know you are a punter when the first site you visit on waking is this one ... THANKS Mister Admin.

[Horizontal pleasures]

You discover you know someone in a place in Ireland called Kilcock and of course you start thinking of .....

[tantric talents]

You know you are a punter when the first site you visit on waking is this one ... THANKS Mister Admin.

+1
A hard habit to break 

[hungrypunt]

When a girl you have been seeing tells you she has been thinking about doing CBT, I immediately thought cock and ball torture, but she actually meant treatment for her anxiety problems Cognitive behavioural Therapy. I did Obvs know the true answer its just CBT came into my head, made her day that one

[JV547845]

When you have to reject a suspicious number of ideas for naming your daughter because they remind you of WGs

[tantric talents]

When you have to reject a suspicious number of ideas for naming your daughter because they remind you of WGs

Well Jenny for example has about 80 listings. I wonder what the most popular girls name on aw is?

[Fleabag]

My eldest son is now at that age where she is looking to learn to drive and of course the bank of dad who has to pay.

The other day I saw a learner car parked up with a very attractive MILF instructor in the driving seat applying some red lipstick.

So I knocked on her window and asked if she was local and what her hourly rates were.
She replied that she charges £30 per hour so replied "That's very reasonable,do you mind if I take your number and arrange a booking sometime"

[Neal69]

When you see a van that is advertising Alan Wilson (or something like that) Roofer in the same font as Adult work.

With the AW to the forefront.

N

[Horizontal pleasures]

When you see an advertisement on the tube for a movie, Big Lies Little Lies and think about your punting....

[MoTToM]

Something like this has probably already been said in this thread, but what the fuck - this week I incurred a few expenses and, rather than the usual non-specific grumbling about the cost of living, I actually caught myself thinking, "That could've got me two bookings with her, or a duo with x and y..." 

Have definitely started reckoning prices in units of possible whore-hours.

[threechilliman]

Something like this has probably already been said in this thread, but what the fuck - this week I incurred a few expenses and, rather than the usual non-specific grumbling about the cost of living, I actually caught myself thinking, "That could've got me two bookings with her, or a duo with x and y..." 

Have definitely started reckoning prices in units of possible whore-hours.

My exchange rate is 120 GBP = 1WHR

tcm

[Horizontal pleasures]

Driving along slowly in Bayswater when you pass what looks like a hairdresser's salon but the window glass is black and it looks secretive. the name is Ma Dame. Of course you think it is a brothel.

I looked it up on Google later and although it is not, it still may be, look at the photos,  but it IS French.
External Link/Members Only

[Melfort212]

When you go to a hotel for work reasons and are thinking 'I'd love to come on a punt here'.

[cueball]

When you go to a hotel for work reasons and are thinking 'I'd love to come on a punt here'.

Or you've been in most of the city hotels but never ever been a guest.

[willie loman]

I was typing a report and meant to write whc, abbreviation for wheelchair, wrote wg instead, and pressed send before realising. Mind you only a punter would spot that.

[stevedave]

Or you've been in most of the city hotels but never ever been a guest.

Very true! And when people you know are staying in the same hotels, you think...oh yeah, I know where you mean, I fucked so and so there! Hope you're not in room 314 

[threechilliman]

Very true! And when people you know are staying in the same hotels, you think...oh yeah, I know where you mean, I fucked so and so there! Hope you're not in room 314 

I'm waiting to be given a hotel room with the Mrs that I've actually fucked a WG in. Gonna happen some day.

tcm

[webpunter]

A risky ploy but you could discretely ask the hotel for a specific room.  And say a mate recommended - a good view / quiet etc
Law of averages for you TCM.  Especially now SS is shut

I'm waiting to be given a hotel room with the Mrs that I've actually fucked a WG in. Gonna happen some day.
tcm

[Mansell]

Or you've been in most of the city hotels but never ever been a guest.

And know every block of flats in the city centre  and some outside too 

[CityTillIDie]

And know every block of flats in the city centre  and some outside too 

+1!
York is very small. I don't see WGs in hotels any more
But there are 1000s of apartments thankfully!

CTID

[CityTillIDie]

UKP eats up masses of my time haha
I've just read all 13 pages of this thread.

Here's a new one: when you text a WG for location and she sends you the post code
You can name the street, usually guess whether it's apartment or hotel and, if hotel, you know which one!!

Is that the Punting equivalent of 'doing the knowledge'?!

CTID

[Bmc88]

After recently visiting FKK clubs,when back home you walk into a club and are confused to why the girls ain't fully naked 

[Autopunter]

You actually manage to hook up for a free shag with a woman, but after counting the cost of the drinks, hotel and rail ticket feel disgruntled, plus all the time spent faffing beforehand, you realize you could have had two or three punts. Free sex is the most expensive kind...

[CoolTiger]

When you see quotes like these, and smile to yourself. At LMP parties, they had this quote framed on the wall:

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy".


There are other quotes out there as well, one about "paying for the privilege to walk away" comes to mind.

[Horizontal pleasures]

when ... you are invited to a private showing of a movie (to do with my work) at the Curzon Cinema in Mayfair (in April)

gulp

and you immediately recall your mis-spent youth in the alleys and walk-ups of Shepherd Market and wonder if there are still French ladies there waiting with their basins of warm soapy water to wash Mister Happy before taking him in hand for some exercise, or is it all young Romanian ladies wearing too much badly placed cosmetics ... ?
 

[djs1969]

When every purchase eg clothes/house/car is compared to price of a punt.
Or if you been on sex holidays -thialand etc .
The price of a flight lol

[WhattheFlip]

when ... you are invited to a private showing of a movie (to do with my work) at the Curzon Cinema in Mayfair (in April)

gulp

and you immediately recall your mis-spent youth in the alleys and walk-ups of Shepherd Market and wonder if there are still French ladies there waiting with their basins of warm soapy water to wash Mister Happy before taking him in hand for some exercise, or is it all young Romanian ladies wearing too much badly placed cosmetics ... ?

God I wished I'd been an adult in a time when there were French WGs on the streets of Britain!

[Melfort212]

You go to Argos for a new punting phone and you wanna ring the girl giving you the phone.

[Horizontal pleasures]

I was in Oxford and passed a bulding site covered by a hoarding advertising the builders named, wait for it, SPORN.
Of course I thought of Soft Porn ....

[Horizontal pleasures]

Just saw an advertisement for en exhibition at the Wellcome Foundation called Making Mature so my mind leapt into to gear about my next punt and then looked again and it was Making Nature.

[redtill]

2. You can easily get a huge variety of different shower types to work at the right temperature, well almost.

So fucking true 

[Jeff_withpetersen]

When your £80 or £120 multiplication skills rival those of a Countdown contestant's 75 times table?

[Neal69]

When you go past a building site and they have a unit from UKPlatforms on site and your attention perks up.

N

[threechilliman]

When you see a private plate on a car that basically reads SAAFE.

tcm

[MrXYZ987]

You look at the tracheostomy pic on a packet of fags and think its off the TS thread on here

[catweazle]

Just walked past a Dorothy Perkins store and the sign on the window says #love DP .....

Oh, Dorothy Perkins, I get it now .........

[mh]

Just walked past a Dorothy Perkins store and the sign on the window says #love DP .....

Oh, Dorothy Perkins, I get it now .........

Have Ann Summers taken them over? 

[Plan R]

When you volunteer for a project (needing 3 days a month up north), purely because it suits your punting goals. Like I errmmm did at work yesterday... 

[mediumjoe]

Hi Plan R , how far up here are you coming?  Region ?  I see you like them late 20s mid 30s with a bit to hold onto especially in the boob department we can certainly fix you up with some of those . Joe

[Plan R]

Hi mediumjoe
Yes thats me exactly and thanks for the encouragement.
If the project gets off the ground (funding etc) it will be Manchester in the second half of the year.
I'll be in 7th heaven as it means paid travel/food/accommodation to repeatedly go and see loads of WGs off my 'miles away' hot list..oh yes plus the small mater of the IT project..I think its something to do with computers   

[mediumjoe]

 Happy days a coming, unfortunately Manchester is  the other side of the country to me but I am sure they will sort you out nicely.  From what I can gather they have a very busy scene with lots of GVFM girls.  Joe

[Horizontal pleasures]

You know you're a punter when.. ... you are confused when a new colleague appears in lists with his initials as we all have to do sometimes - as AW!

[Home Alone]

. . , you're on holiday over 2,500 miles away and the driver of the minibus taking you and other holiday makers to an "authentic local experience" stops at another hotel to collect more passengers, leaving his mobile phone on the dashboard.

And it's the exact same make and model as your punting phone!

[RadioKid]

When every purchase eg clothes/house/car is compared to price of a punt.
Or if you been on sex holidays -thialand etc .
The price of a flight lol

Don't remind me. It's a real sobering thought when it dawns on you how much we actually spend on a punt - especially if they turn to be shit

[webpunter]

When you have an average to shite punt then instantly thinking of the next one within 2 mins of being out of the burds property

especially if they turn to be shit

[Melfort212]

When you are on a night out, you see a girl who isn't the best looking girl, but you'd love her body and dress style to appear when the door opens.

[Horizontal pleasures]

When you pass a branch of an estate agent and remember the fun you had in there in the basement when it was a massage parlour maybe 20 years ago.

(Where Maida Vale turns into Kilburn, on the West side of the A5 on a curve; anyone else remember it?)

[JackHall1988]

You know you're a punter when...

You are in an area like Bayswater or Paddington and you try to work out who are the punters and who are the escorts.

[Inbetweener]

You know you're a punter when...

You adopt a nonchalant air of complete ignorance whenever the subject of prostitution comes up in a conversation.

[Markus]

you type 'punting in cambridge' in google expecting to be taken to the website on river boating but instead end up searching for WG's in Cambridge

True Story