Chinese Massage - Wolverhampton - What a muppet I am..... IMO avoid.

[officer69]

I was in Wolverhampton on business over the weekend and after some research on here decided to go to External Link/Members Only on Worcester Street. They are really crap at answering texts so had to phone up. Confirmed 4 hand for £70 for an hour. Got there and was met by a short Chinese lady who took the money and said go into this smallish room on the righthand side as you walk in. A few mins later a tall Chinese lady came in with long boots on?? Never seen that before...... and started to, what I can only call, knead my back. No oil nothing just kneading..... then onto my legs. I then said hold on a min girl this is supposed to be a 4 hand massage to which she started shrieking in Chinese and said the other girl will be along in a min. After 10 mins longer the original lady comes back in and out comes the oil so 15 mins into 60 and it is finally 4 hands!!

The massage was not to bad after this however they were just jabbering away in Chinese and didn't appear to be concentrating on me...... out came the tissue and a quick wipe down before the turn over bit at which point they started asking about extras. HJ £20 each! £40 for one to be naked as the smaller one didn't do that!! This is why I am a muppet as I thought to coin a phrase "Things can only get better" how wrong I was. I paid the £60 for the larger one to strip and she had the mummy tummy...... and they both started to play with the little fella....whilst still jabbering away in Chinese......

I duly managed to pop and then the larger one, I didn't get any names sorry guys, walks out and the other one says she will make up for the 10 mins she missed at the beginning..... She then finished her bit 15 mins early and aid that that was it.... i pointed out that it should have been ONE HOUR for £70 and I had actually had about 25 mins of 4 handing and then she said ok you lie down and I do your head FFS.... I was so pissed off at myself for falling for this crap I got dressed and walked out. £130 wasted and really pissed off.......as I said Muppetry of the highest order...... will I ever learn....

Don't waste your money guys honestly.

[Beamer]

Sorry to hear that you had a rubbish punt. I haven't been for a long time but IMO they are the pits and have to be the worst massage shop in West Midlands.
The whole area around Wolverhampton, Telford and Shrewsbury is a punting desert.

[gagglez]

Just the thought of those sticky beads and what awaits the other side     

[watsey]

That's a place I have avoided because of the reviews on here. Sorry you had a bad one. No consolation to you but I have just had a great 4 hander. Review going up tomorrow.

[shaolin]

£130 for 1 hour in a run down, arse end of town Chinese shop! - I immediately thought "These are the plonkers that keep the prices up!"

Read some of your other reviews after - Really good reading and comical

Sorry Wolverhampton was a washout for you, if you have another meeting this way PM me.

[Beamer]

Read some of your other reviews after - Really good reading and comical

At least he contributes via reviews. Not like you. Member since 2015 - not one review

[shaolin]

At least he contributes via reviews. Not like you. Member since 2015 - not one review

Hi Beamer, I thanked officer69 for his great reviews i thought they were informative an quite funny. Unfortunately for you I do not review on the open forum, there are a few odd guys that I wouldn't want to encourage.

[Ming]

Hi Beamer, I thanked officer69 for his great reviews i thought they were informative an quite funny. Unfortunately for you I do not review on the open forum, there are a few odd guys that I wouldn't want to encourage

So where do you review if not on the open forum and, who are these guys that scare you so much?
You do realise that this is an adult forum, it's primary function is to review?

Or is it just the case that you like to take the piss and leech?

Ming 

[shaolin]

So where do you review if not on the open forum and, who are these guys that scare you so much?
You do realise that this is an adult forum, it's primary function is to review?

Or is it just the case that you like to take the piss and leech?

Ming 

I don't review.

[nightrider.1234]

I was in Wolverhampton on business over the weekend and after some research on here decided to go to External Link/Members Only on Worcester Street. They are really crap at answering texts so had to phone up. Confirmed 4 hand for £70 for an hour. Got there and was met by a short Chinese lady who took the money and said go into this smallish room on the righthand side as you walk in. A few mins later a tall Chinese lady came in with long boots on?? Never seen that before...... and started to, what I can only call, knead my back. No oil nothing just kneading..... then onto my legs. I then said hold on a min girl this is supposed to be a 4 hand massage to which she started shrieking in Chinese and said the other girl will be along in a min. After 10 mins longer the original lady comes back in and out comes the oil so 15 mins into 60 and it is finally 4 hands!!

The massage was not to bad after this however they were just jabbering away in Chinese and didn't appear to be concentrating on me...... out came the tissue and a quick wipe down before the turn over bit at which point they started asking about extras. HJ £20 each! £40 for one to be naked as the smaller one didn't do that!! This is why I am a muppet as I thought to coin a phrase "Things can only get better" how wrong I was. I paid the £60 for the larger one to strip and she had the mummy tummy...... and they both started to play with the little fella....whilst still jabbering away in Chinese......

I duly managed to pop and then the larger one, I didn't get any names sorry guys, walks out and the other one says she will make up for the 10 mins she missed at the beginning..... She then finished her bit 15 mins early and aid that that was it.... i pointed out that it should have been ONE HOUR for £70 and I had actually had about 25 mins of 4 handing and then she said ok you lie down and I do your head FFS.... I was so pissed off at myself for falling for this crap I got dressed and walked out. £130 wasted and really pissed off.......as I said Muppetry of the highest order...... will I ever learn....

Don't waste your money guys honestly.

What did the Chinese chick with the boots look like? Was she tall, chubby with big boobs? Because when I went their a while back the only Chinese girl that I saw with boots was tall, chubby and busty with a tattoo on her belly.

[Ming]

I don't review.

As I thought, another leech with a high opinion of himself.........

Ming 

[Beamer]

As I thought, another leech with a high opinion of himself.........

Ming 

Absolutely right Ming.
He's happy to use the information provided by other members - another selfish leech - and 100% plonker 

[officer69]

£130 for 1 hour in a run down, arse end of town Chinese shop! - I immediately thought "These are the plonkers that keep the prices up!"

Read some of your other reviews after - Really good reading and comical

Sorry Wolverhampton was a washout for you, if you have another meeting this way PM me.

Thank you sir and I know what a plonker i am ...at least on this occasion....

[officer69]

What did the Chinese chick with the boots look like? Was she tall, chubby with big boobs? Because when I went their a while back the only Chinese girl that I saw with boots was tall, chubby and busty with a tattoo on her belly.

Tall yes not too chubby but no tatts.....

[officer69]

£130 for 1 hour in a run down, arse end of town Chinese shop! - I immediately thought "These are the plonkers that keep the prices up!"

Read some of your other reviews after - Really good reading and comical

Sorry Wolverhampton was a washout for you, if you have another meeting this way PM me.

By the way I have no idea how to PM????

[Beamer]

As I thought, another leech with a high opinion of himself.........

Ming 

Well no reviews now- the prat is banned!

[Ming]

Well no reviews now- the prat is banned!

Not surprised after that dodgy review of his......... no loss

Ming 

[houseboot]

By the way I have no idea how to PM????

You probably haven't been granted that facility yet.

See:-

www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=182674.msg1922158#msg1922158

[Littlefoot]

Not surprised after that dodgy review of his......... no loss

Ming 

Not just dodgy IMO, reckless and 100% made up! We all rely on the integrity of reviews when making decisions on where we spend our hard earned. We don't need idiots like him fucking the whole system up. Can't stand this kind of trolling! Good riddance!