GirlfriendValentina - Oxford Circus - Sexy Yummy

[king tarzan]

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Always found her pictures attractive. . Was a bit concerned about her bullshit brazilian honey to honey feedback and also the reviews on this site..
Then when I wanted to see her last month profile down. .
Anyway she returns I book!!
Thought she would be a bit chunky. .. very surprisingly
 IMO  she ha a very beautiful firm healthy curvy slim figure..all round size 10 and about 5'10' yummy yum yum yaba daba doo 😆😆😆😆😆😆😀😀😀😀
Like myself light brown skinned honey
Has really thick jet black long hair
Beautiful legs and ass and nice b size milky tea coloured muffins! !
Her face is pretty...
She is 100% honey standard. ( not super honey)

Place in Oxford circus, like an idiot I was looking other side and and add being pestered by gypsy beggars really irritating and it's bloody cold!!
Managed to find her flat..
Nice place.

Upon entry she showed me into room and wanted money immediately. ..
I said no.. let's confirm again..

Owo yes
Sex protection 2 times yes
Pointed to her mango as I flicked out my tongue yes
Deep tongue kissing yes

Then showed her money and then took £20 and told her I wanted kiss test..
She looked at me glaringly as I put £20 in her hand..
She goes ok so we sensually tongue kiss for a few seconds and she moves away and I immediately count out remainder £130 in her hands..
She commented I am so clean and smell so nice and dont bother with shower..

Paid £150 for 1 hour..

Start off with sensual soft deep tongue kissing yummy yum yum yaba daba doo 😁😁😁😁😀😀😀😉😉😉 for a few minutes..
Then she strips her sexy dress off to reveal a beautiful healthy slim curvy figure and i whip my clothes off and then she gets on her knees and slowly pulls down my boxer shorts and sets her eyes which instantly light up like bright light bulbs at the size of my king cobra! !
She says in her sexy brazilian accent "he is a nice big boy"
She enjoys sucking him.. more than half way over just short of deep throat..
Then I request her to lay down as I lick and suck her sexy beautiful body up and down front side, licking her belly button hole which she giggles!! Sucked her juicy muffins gently and turn her over and lick the back of her neck to which she enjoys and lick and kiss  all of her back top to bottom!!
Then I ask her to turn around and I get on my knees and lick her inner thighs!!
She does not like to split her legs wide open and does not like  the mango skin gently peeled to the sides so I have to make do with just what is available on her mango front..
I have a good decent licks to which she does quiver a bit ..
Then more kissing and licking slobbering all over her body front and back again..
Then on with rubber john on a hardened king cobra and little bit of baby oil and drilled her mango for several minutes..
She genuinely loves to get penetration mango  fucked!!
Incorporating yummy yum yum yaba daba doo senual soft tongue kissing!!
Round two same as above fucked her for ages as she kept tightening her mango and then I was knackered asked her for owo till cim.. she said cim was extra.. but as she liked me she done owo till cim!!
Then we lay together and chatted got cleaned up and left..
A nice friendly honey..
But the man has to be very politely and gently assertive as I have found to be with many south American women to get the best out of them..

A nice friendly honey

Attitude 10/10
Girlfriend experience service 10/10
PHYSICAL CONSTRUCTION 8.3/10
Professional excellence 10/10 (excellent phone attitude when I couldn't find the damn place)

[Ozy84]

Thanks for the review kt.

Did she comment on how hairy you are?

[Brazilian Martian]

Thanks for the review kt.

Did she comment on how hairy you are?

  I'm dead

[Belgarion]

Thanks for the review kt.

Did she comment on how hairy you are?

Yummy yum, yabba dabba doo
 

Wonder if she also commented on the thread snake that thinks it is a cobra
 

[YidArmy]

Yummy yum, yabba dabba doo
 

Wonder if she also commented on the thread snake that thinks it is a cobra
 

Of course they all do that. That always occurs just after the bit where their 'eyes light up'. 

Get with the program buddy..this dumb motherfucker's shit is like the tide. You know it's coming in, it's just a question of when.

[Jvosta]

“Like myself light brown skin honey” lol
‘Pointed to her mango and flicked your tongue’ wtf

“Yabadaadoo” do you talk like this in real life?

What a nut job

[king tarzan]

Of course they all do that. That always occurs just after the bit where their 'eyes light up'. 

Get with the program buddy..this dumb motherfucker's shit is like the tide. You know it's coming in, it's just a question of when.

You talking about yourself like that on a public forum..
Obviously you have issues with yourself..

[YidArmy]

She commented I am so clean and smell so nice and dont bother with shower.

What was she, your carer? Did she offer you a cup of chai and a samosa as well?

[king tarzan]

What was she, your carer? Did she offer you a cup of chai and a samosa as well?

What's your personal problem?
( if I used the language I really want to towards you I would get banned)
You really want a slanging match run to admin and get me banned hey?

[bonapati]

KT... your son is in trouble send your cobra to save him.

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[Type_O_Negative]

Then showed her money and then took £20 and told her I wanted kiss test..

 

[Sinz]

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[livedangerous]

Wrong in so many fucking ways. Your lunatic language was amusing the first time, I’m sure, but it’s  wearing thin now - and I’m a relative newbie.  But don’t tell us you don’t shower before sex. I mean even if you don’t need it, out of courtesy you should do. I certainly don’t want to visit a girl who sucks an unwashed cock.
And that kiss test is a fucking insult.

Twerp.

[YidArmy]

What's your personal problem?
( if I used the language I really want to towards you I would get banned)
You really want a slanging match run to admin and get me banned hey?

As if anyone can get you banned other than yourself. You've managed it before. Listen, you want to post up these idiotic wank-fantasies as reviews, keep going. You have over a hundred of these mango, cobra tales so clearly you're not getting bored of writing the same shit repeatedly.

Seriously, are you autistic or have some sort of OCD? If not, then don't fucking cry when other posters deride your 'reviews' as the comical ramblings of a buffoon. Which is what they are.

[YidArmy]

Wrong in so many fucking ways. Your lunatic language was amusing the first time, I’m sure, but it’s  wearing thin now - and I’m a relative newbie.  But don’t tell us you don’t shower before sex. I mean even if you don’t need it, out of courtesy you should do. I certainly don’t want to visit a girl who sucks an unwashed cock.
And that kiss test is a fucking insult.

Twerp.

Well said. I'm amazed he hasn't been called out here more but it seems to me he's doing exactly what the below explicitly asks reviewers to avoid.

External Link/Members Only

It's all relevant but points 12-13 repeated below will probably strike a chord (assuming Tarzan has the intelligence to digest the information)

12. Avoid writing a review about YOU, rather than the WG. Do not boast about yourself in a review (your 7 or 10 inches cock, your Cristiano Ronaldo looks, your fit body, that the escort told you that you’re handsome, your luxurious car, your wealth, your martial arts and cage-fighting skills, etc.) Even if what you are saying is real, you will likely be ridiculed as a fantasist plus there is no reason to mention such things in a review.
13. Avoid hyperbole; use superlatives selectively. It will help readers if you apply objectivity. If you review multiple girls, others may see a pattern and see whether they can relate to your taste, etc. So it is important to be consistent. If, for example, you are using some sort of rating system then whatever the numerical scale you use, make sure the scores you award to different girls are such that the difference in the values somehow reflect the difference between the reviewed girls for that specific attribute (e.g. looks). Giving everyone 10/10 or the same score unless truly great or really equal defeats the purpose of having a scale.

[Blazed]

Thanks for the review.

Out of interest, have you ever had any problems with your £20 kiss test thing?

I would imagine there would be plenty of working girls who would be like WTF!?

[FlyingBreadMan]

You talking about yourself like that on a public forum..
Obviously you have issues with yourself..

King-Tarded.

I laugh...again, I laugh - at the inferior intellect.

Keep posting. Keep stubbornly fighting your corner. Fight like the dawn of the retards is coming.

Did she comb your hairy back?
Did she massage your knuckles after a long day you had dragging them around?
Did she kiss your wide flat forehead?

Did you (dare I ask?) Hang from the ceiling and clap your hands?

[livedangerous]

It also has another function as a ‘dignity’ test: “I have so little dignity that I will kiss this lunatic for £20 so that he will give me the rest of the money.”
Seriously, it’s just fucking wrong. It’s degrading.
Talk a look at her, chat to her, check she’s going to agree to the services you want, decide if you want to do them with her and give her the fucking money or walk.
I’m amazed a girl hasn’t kicked him in the bollocks and showed him the door.

[YidArmy]

Thanks for the review.

Out of interest, have you ever had any problems with your £20 kiss test thing?

I would imagine there would be plenty of working girls who would be like WTF!?

Of course he does, he only discloses those when it suits him. Or he'd have a thousand negatives. 

I’m amazed a girl hasn’t kicked him in the bollocks and showed him the door

But he smells so nice, he's so clean. That means foreign whores can't wait to let themselves be humiliated by such a nice, gentle, persuasive, assertive male. 

[claretandblue]

I dont read this buffoons reviews but the replies are always good value for a laugh 

[puntingpumping1920]

Thanks for the review.

Out of interest, have you ever had any problems with your £20 kiss test thing?

I would imagine there would be plenty of working girls who would be like WTF!?

 
I think KT is a great salesman to get away with that with any prostitute.
 
I know I couldn't do that

[doughboy]

I dont read this buffoons reviews but the replies are always good value for a laugh 

Couldn't agree more....I just can't be arsed to decipher his code words when the original words, such as 'tits', 'ass', 'pussy' are easier to type.

In KT's defense, at least he contributes with reviews but by and large, they're fucking useless.

KT - stop writing like a retard and stop treating the girls like you're doing them a favour (this kiss test of yours is fucking ridiculous) and you might be taken more seriously. For someone who punts as much as you do, you could be a valuable asset to mere mortals like me.

[Yankee21]

This kiss test thing you do? It's insulting.

[PilotMan]

@Blazed & @Yankee21

Gotta love all the Zero reviewers chipping in - how about you get your fingers out and do a review then make a criticism!!

Or do you just wank and not punt? 

[Brazilian Martian]

@Blazed & @Yankee21

Gotta love all the Zero reviewers chipping in - how about you get your fingers out and do a review then make a criticism!!

Or do you just wank and not punt? 

Exactly, I'm not a fan of his kiss test but I will take king tarzans reviews over any leech who does not post reviews.

[InstaPunt]

@Blazed & @Yankee21

Gotta love all the Zero reviewers chipping in - how about you get your fingers out and do a review then make a criticism!!

Or do you just wank and not punt? 

Exactly, and the people getting offended on escorts behalf, 1) if they do find it “wrong” that’s probably amongst the lease offensive thing an escort has or will ever face from punters, 2) some might actually get turned on by the cheek of it, bth that depends on how he pulls it off, 3) Any that read ukp might have heard KT and the £20 Kiss Test, so the minute he offers that £20 for a kiss test those that do lurk on here will figure it’s him, realise his reviews get controversy and views and see it as a chance to get a good review from someone whose review will get a decent number of hits.

That said, I also agree that he probably does get told to Fuck Off many times and doesn’t mention it

[claretandblue]

Exactly, I'm not a fan of his kiss test but I will take king tarzans reviews over any leech who does not post reviews.

Disagree,leeches are a pain in the arse but they arent actually damaging the reputation of punters,this guy however is all over the london boards doing untold damage to the reputation of punters with his ridiculous behaviour!

[InstaPunt]

Disagree,leeches are a pain in the arse but they arent actually damaging the reputation of punters,this guy however is all over the london boards doing untold damage to the reputation of punters with his ridiculous behaviour!

Wow, you actually sound like you believe yourself. Are you in politics?

[FlyingBreadMan]

Wow, you actually sound like you believe yourself. Are you in politics?

King-Tarded is a thug.

He has "snatched" money back from girls which he does not talk of. He encourages thuggish behaviours. Its alright to think of girls as bitches, and if they con you it OK to be "assertive" - one day a tegular you see will likely end up with a black eye because she resisted a thuggish punter, a punter that learns from this very forum.

[Belgarion]

Wow, you actually sound like you believe yourself. Are you in politics?

Careful you do not spit out a furball with you being up KT hairy arse

[PLeisure]

Well said. I'm amazed he hasn't been called out here more but it seems to me he's doing exactly what the below explicitly asks reviewers to avoid.

External Link/Members Only

It's all relevant but points 12-13 repeated below will probably strike a chord (assuming Tarzan has the intelligence to digest the information)

12. Avoid writing a review about YOU, rather than the WG. Do not boast about yourself in a review (your 7 or 10 inches cock, your Cristiano Ronaldo looks, your fit body, that the escort told you that you’re handsome, your luxurious car, your wealth, your martial arts and cage-fighting skills, etc.) Even if what you are saying is real, you will likely be ridiculed as a fantasist plus there is no reason to mention such things in a review.
13. Avoid hyperbole; use superlatives selectively. It will help readers if you apply objectivity. If you review multiple girls, others may see a pattern and see whether they can relate to your taste, etc. So it is important to be consistent. If, for example, you are using some sort of rating system then whatever the numerical scale you use, make sure the scores you award to different girls are such that the difference in the values somehow reflect the difference between the reviewed girls for that specific attribute (e.g. looks). Giving everyone 10/10 or the same score unless truly great or really equal defeats the purpose of having a scale.

Relevant points, Yid - except that Tarz can only articulate from his own misguided perspective. Classic sign of a deeply insecure/ isolated individual.

King-Tarded.

I laugh...again, I laugh - at the inferior intellect.

Keep posting. Keep stubbornly fighting your corner. Fight like the dawn of the retards is coming.

Did she comb your hairy back?
Did she massage your knuckles after a long day you had dragging them around?
Did she kiss your wide flat forehead?

Did you (dare I ask?) Hang from the ceiling and clap your hands?

Bread Man - you kill me...... 

I dont read this buffoons reviews but the replies are always good value for a laugh 

+1. Ignore the review and skip to the responses 

KT - stop writing like a retard and stop treating the girls like you're doing them a favour (this kiss test of yours is fucking ridiculous) and you might be taken more seriously. For someone who punts as much as you do, you could be a valuable asset to mere mortals like me.

Instead, like some village idiot, he has to infantilise his punting activity and reduce it to the level of the Flintstones   

[InstaPunt]

Careful you do not spit out a furball with you being up KT hairy arse

Only someone quite thick and with limited analytical skills would actually say and believe that.

[InstaPunt]

King-Tarded is a thug.

He has "snatched" money back from girls which he does not talk of. He encourages thuggish behaviours. Its alright to think of girls as bitches, and if they con you it OK to be "assertive" - one day a tegular you see will likely end up with a black eye because she resisted a thuggish punter, a punter that learns from this very forum.

Assertive vs aggressive are two different things. I’ve demanded money back both from WG’s and Sergei when faced with any or all of the following shitty/angry attitude or refusing agreed services once money was handed over etc. Obviously all within reason and not halfway into a punt when I’ve already got off, although on some cases I have reduced the time.

 But yeah I’ve never denied that KT brings mockery upon himself, although I don’t recall reading him acting threatening to any WG. His use of the term bitch to describe WG’s who screw him over is only an issue for some because they already have a problem him, and it’s sctually no different to how we vary from using escort to girl, to prossie, to whore when describing punts. And tbh some people are naturally touchy, I mean I remember laughing out load when someone tried telling BM off because they found his use of the term “jack hammering” in reviews impolite and offensive to the girls he was reviewing wtf

[MrMatrix]

Exactly, I'm not a fan of his kiss test but I will take king tarzans reviews over any leech who does not post reviews.

+1 BM. Too many punters make no contribution. And at least KT makes the effort to do a review. The style isn't my way either but at least we get a clear view as to who is worth a visit or not. 

[Brazilian Martian]

+1 BM. Too many punters make no contribution. And at least KT makes the effort to do a review. The style isn't my way either but at least we get a clear view as to who is worth a visit or not. 

I've had my issues with Tarzan but now it's a thing of the past, if ADMIN is fine with his posts and reviews then who are we to complain. There were and currently maybe a lot worse punters on this forum then Tarzan. white knights and guys who inform prossies about threads and punters who pillow talk with prossies about other punters and prossies 

[Blazed]

@Blazed & @Yankee21

Gotta love all the Zero reviewers chipping in - how about you get your fingers out and do a review then make a criticism!!

Or do you just wank and not punt? 

Haha, at what point was I making a criticism you doughnut?

I was just asking a question out of curiosity.

And I'll do the reviews in my own time, thank you very much.

[Brazilian Martian]

Haha, at what point was I making a criticism you doughnut?

I was just asking a question out of curiosity.

And I'll do the reviews in my own time, thank you very much.

Your very cock sure for a someone who has only been a member since 18/10/17

[hendrix]

I've had my issues with Tarzan but now it's a thing of the past, if ADMIN is fine with his posts and reviews then who are we to complain. There were and currently maybe a lot worse punters on this forum then Tarzan. white knights and guys who inform prossies about threads and punters who pillow talk with prossies about other punters and prossies 

Exactly. Whatever people think about him (and I'm certainly not a fan) his reviews have helped out at least some punters from what people have posted, so fair play on that score. Lots of shittier posters around that's for sure.

[Blazed]

Your very cock sure for a someone who has only been a member since 18/10/17

So just to clarify, I'm too cock sure for someone who has only been on here for a month, yet even after acknowledging the fact that I haven't been here for long, I still get shit for not posting a review yet? Make your mind up.

I was asking a genuine question and wasn't even criticising the reviewer in the first instance anyway.

It all seems like a dick waving exercise for those of you who have been here longer.

And like I said, I will get around to doing my reviews.

[InstaPunt]

And like I said, I will get around to doing my reviews.

Yeah cos clearly you’ve been too busy today

[LLPunting]

Of course they all do that. That always occurs just after the bit where their 'eyes light up'. 

Get with the program buddy..this dumb motherfucker's shit is like the tide. You know it's coming in, it's just a question of when.

It's worse than the tide, more like an attack of the squits and you feel the unavoidable loosening of your sphincter as you shart.

[LLPunting]

“Like myself light brown skin honey” lol
‘Pointed to her mango and flicked your tongue’ wtf

“Yabadaadoo” do you talk like this in real life?

What a nut job

"Yabbadabbadoo!" is probably entertaining compared to the scene of him hopping from one foot to the other as he squeals "Mango? Mango!", pointing at the SP's snatch and flicking his tongue like Jabba the Hutt.  That repels the shit outta me. 

[LLPunting]

Disagree,leeches are a pain in the arse but they arent actually damaging the reputation of punters,this guy however is all over the london boards doing untold damage to the reputation of punters with his ridiculous behaviour!

Strongly suspect you're giving him far too much influence over SPs' opinion of the male of the species.
However it is very scary to think that there may be a number of impressionable sub-humans who will emulate his practices with the SPs and if it's possible with even greater ineptitude.   

[LLPunting]

Your very cock sure for a someone who has only been a member since 18/10/17

He's played with it so much he's convinced he's got one!

[LLPunting]

KT,
Has any SP passed your kiss test and then subsequently failed to deliver on other confirmed services, at which point you've demanded your money back, less the 20 she gets for kissing you to your satisfaction?

[Belgarion]

Only someone quite thick and with limited analytical skills would actually say and believe that.

Nah

You are so up his hairy arse it's pathetic. White Knighting KT?

Never thought I would see it



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[InstaPunt]

Nah

his hairy arse

Stop touting KT and write a review about him

[Belgarion]

Stop touting KT and write a review about him

 

[InstaPunt]

Or do you care to share more details about KT’s ass, eg is it firm, soft, how does it smell , and taste etc?

[Belgarion]

Or do you care to share more details about KT’s ass, eg is it firm, soft, how does it smell , and taste etc?

You would know more about that than me of course. You've spent a lot of time rimming it