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Author Topic: Would you be OK with your GF/fiance/wife/mother of your children to be a pro$$ie  (Read 18072 times)

Offline Daffodil

I don't know how I would react if this was the situation with a relative - and you certainly don't know, as you are not me.  I said I hoped I would be supportive.  The whole question for most on this thread is speculative.  I honestly believe that any punter who is happy to see girls, and pay for sexual services, should not then believe it is some kind of lesser occupation.  If that's your view then fine - but I don't share it, as I view working girls as offering a valuable service and are deserving of the same respect as any other type of service provider.

I never treat a prossie I visit with anything less than complete respect. I am courteous, friendly, clean and don't take the piss.

This is of course different to respecting their line of work, and I stand by my point above. I have also used bankers as an example, I don't respect them, but still use banks. And if I go into a bank I am also courteous and polite.

I am glad prossies exist, but certainly don't want anybody close to me being one.

Offline Tafffie

This is so tough...

If my wife / gf decided to become a wg... end of relationship. Ive never punted or gone out on the pull while Im seeing someone. I expect the same from her.

If my daughter wanted to be a wg? In theory I should support her decision if it was a free choice on her part. But secretly Id want to kick the s&*t out of any punter that touched her.

But then again, Ive never claimed not to have double standards.

Offline Daffodil

There are very few prossies who really want to be prossies. That's why they're always talking about retiring and making plans for the future away from prostitution. Many are prossies for very short periods of time.

The 'profession' is usually taken up by women who have no other means of making good/enough money, for whatever reason. So they don't really choose it, they resort to it. They might have high sex drives also, but they'd rather earn good money in a good job and then fuck as many strangers as they like and, importantly, choose.

Being a prostitute is not good. It jeopardises their present and future, in terms of jobs and relationships. According to this poll, more than 50% of punters wouldn't want a long term relationship with one, let alone a non-punter. They lose respect (if there are many punters who don't respect prossies, what about the general public?) and they expose themselves to the risk of physical (sexual disease and violence) and mental injury.

If my daughter/relative/etc wanted to be a prossie I would do everything I could to support the alternative :hi:

Offline SteveNova

There are very few prossies who really want to be prossies. That's why they're always talking about retiring and making plans for the future away from prostitution. Many are prossies for very short periods of time.

The 'profession' is usually taken up by women who have no other means of making good/enough money, for whatever reason. So they don't really choose it, they resort to it. They might have high sex drives also, but they'd rather earn good money in a good job and then fuck as many strangers as they like and, importantly, choose.

Being a prostitute is not good. It jeopardises their present and future, in terms of jobs and relationships. According to this poll, more than 50% of punters wouldn't want a long term relationship with one, let alone a non-punter. They lose respect (if there are many punters who don't respect prossies, what about the general public?) and they expose themselves to the risk of physical (sexual disease and violence) and mental injury.

If my daughter/relative/etc wanted to be a prossie I would do everything I could to support the alternative :hi:
If you really believe that then why do you continue to 'support' their occupation by paying for sex?  Surely that will only serve to perpetrate the lifestyle which you consider detrimental.  The logical approach, given your view, would be to support those who try to get WGs to give up their occupation.  I thought there was a consensus here that paying for sex and hence providing sexual services for pay was perfectly acceptable (to us).

Offline Daffodil

If you really believe that then why do you continue to 'support' their occupation by paying for sex?  Surely that will only serve to perpetrate the lifestyle which you consider detrimental.  The logical approach, given your view, would be to support those who try to get WGs to give up their occupation.  I thought there was a consensus here that paying for sex and hence providing sexual services for pay was perfectly acceptable (to us).

It doesn't really follow that if I believe the above about prossies then I shouldn't continue to support them, Steve. Just because I don't want a daughter/partner/relative doing something, doesn't mean I give two hoots if somebody I have no relationship with does it. Your logic is flawed. I also wouldn't want my daughter cleaning toilets, should I therefore go around and save all toileteers? And not use clean toilets?

And what did I say that is inaccurate regarding the negatives about being a prossie?

Respect? No. Even amongst punters, the respect of their choice of work is not particularly high. What is it within the general public? This is, of course, different to treating them with respect.

Physical harm, both sexual health related and actual violence? Have a look at dangerous punter threads. And even with sensible precautions, sexual infection can and does occur.

Ruining relationships? On this poll alone, more than 50% of punters say no way to having a long term relationship with a prossie. What of the general public? A recent example was Rebecca, who had a life all set up out of prostitution before her sugardaddy (or whatever) found out about her 'job' and rescinded his offer. She was only too happy to get off the game at the time.

Would you really want the above for a daughter? Would you not discourage her?

Offline Paulie

I don't know how I would react if this was the situation with a relative - and you certainly don't know, as you are not me.  I said I hoped I would be supportive.  The whole question for most on this thread is speculative.  I honestly believe that any punter who is happy to see girls, and pay for sexual services, should not then believe it is some kind of lesser occupation.  If that's your view then fine - but I don't share it, as I view working girls as offering a valuable service and are deserving of the same respect as any other type of service provider.

+1  :yahoo:

Offline Daffodil

+1  :yahoo:

I wonder if you've read the quote you're agreeing with this time  :rolleyes:

Offline Paulie

I wonder if you've read the quote you're agreeing with this time  :rolleyes:


-1 1,000,000  :sarcastic:

Offline Daffodil


-1 1,000,000  :sarcastic:

What are you adding to this thread, paulie? You're just acting like a child and pursuing an argument we had the other day because you can't use the quote function appropriately.

Offline Paulie

What are you adding to this thread, paulie? You're just acting like a child and pursuing an argument we had the other day because you can't use the quote function appropriately.

 :wacko:

Depends on when you had asked me.

When I was younger, had never considered punting, and was pretty poor with women? Absolutely not. I was so inexperienced with sex that it felt like an embarrassment for me to be with anyone not as inexperienced as I was; being with a WG would have horrified me.

After my first few punts? Yes. My first few were great; great experience, great girls, and very genuine (or at least it seemed like it to me). As others seem to have noticed, the media makes it out to be an entirely ghastly industry made up of trafficked sex slaves, so after my first few and realising they were all just normal girls out to make an easy fortune doing something all their friends were doing out at uni for free, I lost all stigma towards WGs.

Now? Probably not. Having browsed here and SAAFE to get more of an idea of the industry, it's opened my eyes a bit more about how naive I probably was when I started in thinking they all did it for the love of sex and the money was just a bonus. Can be quite eye opening seeing some of their opinions on clients over on SAAFE. Granted some of the WGs I've seen probably did like me (I had a couple give me their real names and numbers, told me about their kids and showed me pics of them, had me there for 4 hours when I'd only paid for 1), but it sort of discoloured my vision a bit into thinking it was like that for all of them, since from then on I tended to dismiss the notion that the vast majority were only nice as part of the service or to get regulars.
Another thing was speaking to them and hearing how dismissive they were of the idea that their boyfriends/husbands should have a right to know what they did, as well as how many spoke of having tried to quit before but just gone back.
Now I don't think it's really possible to have a healthy relationship with a WG. Granted there may be exceptions, but for me anyway I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who was still currently a WG (How can it be considered any different to cheating normally, even if they are only doing it for the money? IMO if your partner is banging other guys they're cheating on you, regardless of their reasons), and it doesn't seem like you could ever be 100% your ex-WG partner would always stay an ex-WG. It's also put a black cloud over any future relationships, as I now feel like any partner could be a current WG, and it'd be me they'd be telling clients "I just don't tell him I do this".

Offline overhead

There are very few prossies who really want to be prossies. That's why they're always talking about retiring and making plans for the future away from prostitution. Many are prossies for very short periods of time.

The 'profession' is usually taken up by women who have no other means of making good/enough money, for whatever reason. So they don't really choose it, they resort to it. They might have high sex drives also, but they'd rather earn good money in a good job and then fuck as many strangers as they like and, importantly, choose.

Being a prostitute is not good. It jeopardises their present and future, in terms of jobs and relationships. According to this poll, more than 50% of punters wouldn't want a long term relationship with one, let alone a non-punter. They lose respect (if there are many punters who don't respect prossies, what about the general public?) and they expose themselves to the risk of physical (sexual disease and violence) and mental injury.

If my daughter/relative/etc wanted to be a prossie I would do everything I could to support the alternative.

There are some very good points in the posts in this thread, of which that is one.

I think more choose to become prostitutes than you give credit for. But I also think most of them become increasingly emotionally damaged as they do it. The first few dozen cilents provide good income and it becomes a bit of a lark - easy money etc. But as they get into the hundreds they become institutionalised. That's the point where they either develop a very mercenary attitude - which maybe they had all along - or they take slightly a more pragmatic approach and pursue it as a proper career. Either way the vast majority become very greedy it seems to me. They lose all touch with the reality of the everyday life of other people, because they have this vast earning power that people who don't have their own businesses or independent wealth can't even remotely approach. 

I have had some interesting discussions with prostitutes at various points on the experience scale, and there is a real pattern which emerges. Most interesting is that I have talked to two who I have never been with as a client and who are unaware that I have been with any other prostitute - although they do have a tendency to assume every man does it at some point in their lives.  How they describe the business (or industry as many of them like to call it) to a non client is fascinating. You hear all the justifications and their view of the world, and it is very different to the one the rest of us inhabit, clients or not. The arrogance they have is truly mind blowing. Admittedly it's a small sample, but the picture I have from them and with others I have been with as a client is quite consistent across the board. I once thought it would be possible to live with a prostitute as a partner, because many of them have the ability to separate private life with work. But I'm not at all sure of that now. When they constantly have sex with a combination of needy men and/or wealthy men it makes a huge difference to their persona, and they become very detached and emotionless about it. They tend to be ruthless 'users' of people, because their mindset is of people 'using' each other all the time. I did one a good favour once, and she was gobsmacked that anyone would do something without expectation of handsome reward, but of course the gratitude soon faded. Also in the way they handle their partner sex life. It gets to the point that they know far too much to be able to have a 'normal' relationship. Once they get into the thousands of clients I think it then becomes irreversible. The mindset that exists on saafe is very apparent in all of them except a very few examples. I can see where they are coming from, especially when they have to deal with such stupid people, but it does separate them from the rest of civilisation. One in particular that I know and have talked to quite a lot (mostly about other subjects) I find particularly sad. She has been with a ball park figure of around 8 - 10 thousand clients, some of them extremely wealthy and she's made literally millions from doing it, and I can honestly say she is on a totally different planet to everyone else, but she can't see it for herself. Completely out of touch. Obviously there are a lot of up sides for her. She quite casually goes off and earns in an hour what it takes me a couple of days of really hard work to achieve, and I then have tax and other overheads to pay. Her parents are normal people who are very distressed by her lifestyle, because she has become a monster in her family circle who breezes in occasionally and throws huge amounts of money around like confetti and then just as quickly disappears again, no real emotional connection at all. She won't ever be able to have a normal relationship with a man, because she looks down on men who don't have sizable incomes, and if she finds a wealthy man that won't work either because they are just as arrogant and just buy anything they wish for. I know a few wealthy people, and they have no concept at all of what it's like to have to budget etc, or to struggle for survival. Prostitutes are even worse because they have a huge income source on tap which they only have to take their clothes off to put into action.

My conclusion is that I would be okay with anyone doing it that I know or am related to, as long as it is a considered choice and something they really want to do, because I believe in free choice for everyone. Some prostitutes get into it because they really like having sex - who doesn't - but it changes them so much. I can't really relate to them all that well, and more importantly they can't relate to me. Men and women lead such different lives in this world. You can't get away from it although you can try quite successfully for a while. But for prostitutes it is completely different, only other prostitutes can really relate, and when you get a gaggle of them together it is truly awful. I really enjoy having sex with them, because when you're needy it's a good and exciting way to do it - except with the ones that pretend to have orgasms, I find that gross especially the false screamers. It really is a different world for them and there's a point they reach quite quickly where there is no turning back.

Very interesting reading your experiences and thoughts Overhead, thank you for sharing.

One thing I'd be interested to hear that doesn't seem to have been covered in the thread (although maybe I missed it) is someone who does have a relative/partner who's a WG and is okay with it. Would be very curious to hear how anyone who's partner is a WG, settles this in their heads. Unless you're one of the few guys into cuckolding, I would have thought most men's instinctive reactions- regardless of logic- to the thought of a partner having sex with another man is of jealousy and rage; again unless you're into cuckolding and LIKE it, as an average guy how do you tolerate it?

Offline Paulie


Unless you're one of the few guys into cuckolding, I would have thought most men's instinctive reactions- regardless of logic- to the thought of a partner having sex with another man is of jealousy and rage; again unless you're into cuckolding and LIKE it, as an average guy how do you tolerate it?


Swingers and wife-swappers?

Offline Sarah the milf

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Overhead  a very thoughtful & thought provoking post. :thumbsup:

I agree the Mindset I've seen from both hardened prossies on saafe etc. and their uber wealthy clients is at odds with that of many normal working people ..me too
but I'm only Part time mabee that's why... It's tempting to tell the boss to fuck right off when I can earn his paycheck in a few hours ...who would'nt

dissociation is an advantage in many jobs ...think .....traffic warden

even punters like a little dissociation who here wants to be counting out the twenties on the vinegar strokes LOL

could it be its the sudden access to easy reliable wealth that causes this mindset in both .....new money ...as the saying goes

I shall be checking myself for signs of impending bell-endery

but for now sainsburys beats iceland lol

Swingers and wife-swappers?
Well that too. Not sure how those guys deal with it either, never met one. My presumption would be that you're both swinging so while someone else is banging your missus, you're banging someone else's, so you win some you lose some. As I say though that's just a guess.

Offline akauya

Well that too. Not sure how those guys deal with it either, never met one. My presumption would be that you're both swinging so while someone else is banging your missus, you're banging someone else's, so you win some you lose some. As I say though that's just a guess.

I'm going a bit off topic here but I have met many couples at swingers parties where the men never fuck other women. What turns those men on is for someone else to fuck their wives/partners (the cuckold fetish). At first I used to find it strange but after a while I got the taste for it and used to find it a turn on fucking a woman with the full blessing of her husband/partner. Once a guy even thanked me for fucking his wife he said they really enjoyed it... it only dawned on me how strange that was when I was on my way home... did he just thank me for fucking his wife?

I also played the cuckold once. A lover of mine who was interested in trying swinging wanted to get fucked by lots of men in one night. Because previously I did my FFM fantasy with her help I agreed. Went to a swingers club and she got fucked by three guys. I was there making sure she was safe. Didn't do it for me really, I was desperate to fuck other women at the party but had to look after her. She had a nice time but never wanted to repeat that. She basically ticked that off her list and that was that.

I often wondered whether some prossies' husbands do have some cuckold fetish a little bit.



Offline overhead

Overhead  a very thoughtful & thought provoking post.

Well thank you. Glad someone appreciated. I got carried away typing for a few minutes as more and more came to me. Could have carried on but had to stop at some point.

I agree the Mindset I've seen from both hardened prossies on saafe etc. and their uber wealthy clients is at odds with that of many normal working people ..me too
but I'm only Part time mabee that's why... It's tempting to tell the boss to fuck right off when I can earn his paycheck in a few hours ...who would'nt

dissociation is an advantage in many jobs ...

Yes, of course. I guess you have to unless you really get on well with the guy and like him. Must be rare.

even punters like a little dissociation who here wants to be counting out the twenties on the vinegar strokes LOL

That's the whole problem with this business from the point of view of the punter. That's what we're there for and at that point you are disassociated from the whole world. The money part doesn't really mean anything, except that it has to come from somewhere.


Offline hollysbeenabadgirl

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  • Posts: 340
My partner is an ex-client. I'd have to say that initially he was insistent to me and himself that it would only ever be casual and rightly so. I was up for it, as I have never been attracted to any man as much and did not want a long term relationship at all.

Then things changed big time. He started to fall fast and deep and he REALLY struggled. A that point he nearly bailed on the relationship, as did I.

So how do we handle it now that we are committed to each other? It has its times of being bloody difficult, like now when he is helping me set up my new incall flat. I have changed my way of working, the amount of work, some services and not because he asked, but because I needed to make things more tolerable.

Right now I have committed to working another year, but it will probably be 6 months in reality. He would never ask me to give up what I do, it needs to come from me. But it needs to be a point when I can say without doubt that I will not be tempted to return. It is one thing him dealing with it now, as he met me as a client, but another if I were to stop and return. That would be us done, we both know that and does not need saying.

Why does he put up with it? Well, because he is nuts about me, can see that he wants long term and that there is no quick exit from this industry. It takes a while to build a secondary business up so it can be the primary one.

So he is not 'OK' with it, but tolerates it. But he can only do that as I have changed my working ways and am very aware of what he gets sensitive about.

Thanks for that post, Holly.

Imo, it's an extremely helpful post, from the other side of the situation, for those of us who posted on the "Emotional Attachment Syndrome" thread.  You spell out, very realistically, the difficulties which need to be resolved in a situation like that.

Offline GrumpyoldGit

Thanks for that post, Holly.

Imo, it's an extremely helpful post, from the other side of the situation, for those of us who posted on the "Emotional Attachment Syndrome" thread.  You spell out, very realistically, the difficulties which need to be resolved in a situation like that.

I fully agree with this as I am/ have falling/ fallen for my regular.
I have also posted on the EAS thread just now.

Offline overhead

Right now I have committed to working another year, but it will probably be 6 months in reality. He would never ask me to give up what I do, it needs to come from me. But it needs to be a point when I can say without doubt that I will not be tempted to return.

Very tricky I should think.

I've heard that the job itself can be a lot more of a chore that us guys tend to imagine. When someone you know is doing it, it can cause a lot of anxiety. I can't be too specific but I have had a taste of that, and it's not nice. The imagination runs riot, Coupled with the fact that men naturally would quite like to be able to do it, but it is so alien to us that we can't really relate to it properly.

The other side to that is that I've also heard that some girls (maybe not so many, but some) miss it quite badly when they stop. I'm not sure how much that is due to the money, or the human contact. Not all clients are vile and/or repulsive. I know one girl who still dabbles in it. She has three guys (I'm not one of them) who she meets up with a couple of times a month.

I hope you overcome the difficulties. If I can make any suggestion it would be to love your partner and make sure you re-assure him that it's all okay between you. Despite what some say, I feel sure that it's not possible not to be affected by some clients. It's human nature for that to happen sometimes.

Sobering stuff eh.

Offline hollysbeenabadgirl

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The imagination runs riot

The other side to that is that I've also heard that some girls (maybe not so many, but some) miss it quite badly when they stop.

If I can make any suggestion it would be to love your partner and make sure you re-assure him that it's all okay between you.

Sobering stuff eh.


Indeed the imagination does, my partners difficult times have been when he is quiet at work and the thoughts go wild.

I will not miss the money as such as my overheads will decrease massively, so it is relative. I will however miss some regulars who have become genuine friends.

That is the main thing, no man no matter how self assured needs to be reminded of that when in a relationship with a WG. Whilst he may know that it took him being attractive to me in every manner and an awful lot for me to break a professional boundary, there is certainly no harm reminding him how bloody awesome he is. Thankfully that comes naturally.

Yes it is a major thing to get involved. No idea how he has coped with it and will do going ahead. I think he simply has no choice, he can't live without.

Offline overhead

Indeed the imagination does, my partners difficult times have been when he is quiet at work and the thoughts go wild.

I will not miss the money as such as my overheads will decrease massively, so it is relative. I will however miss some regulars who have become genuine friends.

That is the main thing, no man no matter how self assured needs to be reminded of that when in a relationship with a WG. Whilst he may know that it took him being attractive to me in every manner and an awful lot for me to break a professional boundary, there is certainly no harm reminding him how bloody awesome he is. Thankfully that comes naturally.

Yes it is a major thing to get involved. No idea how he has coped with it and will do going ahead. I think he simply has no choice, he can't live without.

I guess it must be a little bit like any other job where you get to know people.

What you say there coincides exactly with my feelings about it. Especially the quiet moments to ponder. You don't say how long you have been with him, but I suspect he will become more used to it in time. If it's any consolation I think it's quite natural that some women do this. After all, isn't it called the oldest profession. The prostitute I referred to earlier is quite adamant about that, and she has no truck with anyone who dissents including her parents. She feels she has every right to do it as and when she wants to regardless of her personal relationships with others. I don't think she has any concept of how others feel about such things, and of course it's more difficult with men. Her father is the one most affected at home.

If you enjoy being a prostitute, make the most of it while you're doing it. It's quite a unique human experience I'm sure.

Offline hollysbeenabadgirl

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  • Posts: 340
She feels she has every right to do it as and when she wants to regardless of her personal relationships with others. I don't think she has any concept of how others feel about such things, and of course it's more difficult with men. Her father is the one most affected at home.


There is a point when you realise you do not just want long term, but forever. I know a lot of women can continue into 'forever'. Not me, too much of me, as opposed to 'Holly', goes into my bookings. As an ex-client my partner knows that. I guess it depends on how much of a 'persona' a WG has.

Good luck to those who can disassociate, but I am a seriously crap actress.

Best job ever, I will miss many aspects, but priorities change eh :)



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