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Author Topic: Amsterdam, with the wife :(  (Read 7042 times)

Offline Stiltskin

For some unknown reason my wife has decided we're going for a long weekend in Amsterdam. She's not interested in the sex or drugs, so maybe it's the buildings or daffodils she wants to see. I've tried to put her off, telling her it's a scummy place full of drug addicts and pick pockets, but have totally failed to disaude her.

So it looks like I'm going on my first trip to Amsterdam, which is something I've always wanted to do, but not with the wife!

I don't know how I'm going to handle this. I'm going to be like a diabetic kid in a sweet shop. She's sure to want to do the tourist thing and walk through the RLD, whilst I try so hard to feign my indifference to it all.

I'm wondering if I can salvage something from this. How feasible it would be to nip out for half an hour to the window girls? Does anyone know how late the RLD is open? I'm thinking a clandestine trip in the early hours might be my only option.

Offline GrumpyoldGit

If I recall correctly they are open 24/7

Offline mh

If a solo punting excursion is impossible then locate in advance a venue with a live on stage sex show, memorise the route from your hotel and ensure you "accidentally" stumble into it one evening with wife in tow. It may open her eyes... (and perhaps her legs later)

Offline ncarter

Take her to one of the many museums there, in particular the museum of sex and the museum of cannabis (think that is it's name), also the museum of pornography (which I never found). All have displays that are informative and educational  ;) honestly.

Offline Steve2

Make sure she visits a coffee shop and introduce her to "space chocolate"

Once she has tried that , an hr later you are free and clear for 4-5 hrs

Make sure she visits a coffee shop and introduce her to "space chocolate"

Once she has tried that , an hr later you are free and clear for 4-5 hrs

classic :D

Offline Stiltskin

Make sure she visits a coffee shop and introduce her to "space chocolate"

Once she has tried that , an hr later you are free and clear for 4-5 hrs

Now there's an idea! Although a bottle of wine should give me 8 hours :D

Went 18 months back, the best looking girls are in the windows 10pm till 1/2am . And there are some right crackers. Porn museum was 2euros to get in and a right laugh and has some funny stuff. A word of warning it is a tourist trap, don't buy shit from the little shops there is a supermarket on one of the main roads and dirt cheep. 24 bottled of Heineken 8 euros, local shop wanted 16 euros for 8 cans. If you want a coffee shop I would recommend voyagers opposite train stain very friendly, also recommend the burger bar (you will walk past it at some point). If you want to save some money on tourist attractions google for amsterdam pass.

If I recall correctly they are open 24/7

Correct, but walking around in the daytime you will find mostly grannies sat doing there knitting and trannies.

Online Marmalade

Or a bar that happens to be a swinger's club? There are some exceedingly upmarket ones in Amsterdam. No pressure, wear normal clothes in the bar, drink and dance . . .   :cool:

Offline PuntingPete

For some unknown reason my wife has decided we're going for a long weekend in Amsterdam. She's not interested in the sex or drugs, so maybe it's the buildings or daffodils she wants to see. I've tried to put her off, telling her it's a scummy place full of drug addicts and pick pockets, but have totally failed to disaude her.

So it looks like I'm going on my first trip to Amsterdam, which is something I've always wanted to do, but not with the wife!

I don't know how I'm going to handle this. I'm going to be like a diabetic kid in a sweet shop. She's sure to want to do the tourist thing and walk through the RLD, whilst I try so hard to feign my indifference to it all.

I'm wondering if I can salvage something from this. How feasible it would be to nip out for half an hour to the window girls? Does anyone know how late the RLD is open? I'm thinking a clandestine trip in the early hours might be my only option.

I think she'll be disappointed with the daffodils, she may have to make do with Tulips  :sarcastic:

You'd better take lots of money too, it's quite expensive especially in the RLD  :hi:

Offline Banquo

Been there, done that and.... got caught!! (in slightly different circumstances)

I expect your post was a little tounge in cheek, but trust me, the probable risk is not worth the likely reward. Especially when the RLD experience in the 'Dam is quite perfunctory.

I think she'll be disappointed with the daffodils, she may have to make do with Tulips  :sarcastic:

You'd better take lots of money too, it's quite expensive especially in the RLD  :hi:

As far as money goes, a meal out (2 steaks) with chips a drink 50euros. Red light district pub on corner 5euros a Heineken going rate in amsterdam. That pancake place near Anne frank museum give it a miss if I was you unless you vegetarians. We went and there meat delivery was sat on doorstep for 3 hours, we even told them there was raw meat outside and was sat there for another 90 minutes. Had it been in uk would. Have been stolen in 5 minutes.

Offline Jerboa

I wouldn't be so bothered about going to Ams with a Mrs, the punting there Isn't as good as many think It is.

Tony Montana

I wouldn't be so bothered about going to Ams with a Mrs, the punting there Isn't as good as many think It is.

The actual punt is crap, but some think it may be worth it just for the experience.

Offline Urban_G

I think she'll be disappointed with the daffodils, she may have to make do with Tulips  :sarcastic:
Stiltskin wants 'twolips' of a different kind ;)

Seriously though, is it worth trying to nip out for a punt? I know the temptation will be there but think of the consequences should things go wrong.

The actual punt is crap, but some think it may be worth it just for the experience.

Window girls are fit but you can get some beautys who work for the agy's to visit you.  Believe me the punts were not crap.

To the op, have a threesome with your wife :D

Offline lovingfacials

Amsterdam done this city a few times on stag do's, on rugby tour, with g/f, with the wife & kids..........

my advice do the things a couple would do, the usual canal boat tours, anne frank musuem, Van Gough musuem etc............enjoy it for what it is a city break in a beautiful city (well recommend the flower/tulip markets) and save the RL & Window girls for when you go another time in different circumstances.................

dont waste time/engry trying to sneak out to punt some window whore..........enjoy the trip with the missues is my advice fwiw

Amsterdam done this city a few times on stag do's, on rugby tour, with g/f, with the wife & kids..........

my advice do the things a couple would do, the usual canal boat tours, anne frank musuem, Van Gough musuem etc............enjoy it for what it is a city break in a beautiful city (well recommend the flower/tulip markets) and save the RL & Window girls for when you go another time in different circumstances.................

dont waste time/engry trying to sneak out to punt some window whore..........enjoy the trip with the missues is my advice fwiw
boring, but probably the wisest advice so far


Offline Stiltskin

The actual punt is crap, but some think it may be worth it just for the experience.

Hmm ok, I wouldn't try it unless I was very sure I'd get away with it and the chances of a good opportunity coming up are quite low. I'll have to keep telling myself the only thing I'm missing out on is a Soho style walkup punt.

Offline Tailpipe

Hmm ok, I wouldn't try it unless I was very sure I'd get away with it and the chances of a good opportunity coming up are quite low. I'll have to keep telling myself the only thing I'm missing out on is a Soho style walkup punt.


You could offer a 3 ball , but make sure she does not have a knife in her hand when you bring it up.



Just curious, what are the rates at RLD. My roommate is going to Dam this weekend. might be helpful. :rolleyes:




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