Emotional Attachment Syndrome

[socks]

I tend to agree.

This is going to sound harsh too but, if she is not replying to you, she is ignoring you / doesn't want contact. If you have tried to explain then that is all you can do, you are right that you will get to a stage of being a pest if you continue to contact her. The only thing you can do is give it time. She may get to a stage where she will talk to you or maybe not. You will get to a stage where you feel like filling your boots with another girl.

Chalk it up to experience and don't be too rough on yourself, you're not the first and certainly won't be the last.

yep that's what I'm doing and the kind words and confessional this forum is giving me is just what I need to get through it - cheers!!

[vorian]

Thanks for your advice - fair point and I know that's true but it's not the EAS in itself that's the problem from my end. I can certainly rationalise, manage and compartmentalise it, now I recognise it for what it is and, more importantly, understand the irrational way I acted for a few days. She probably doesn't see it that way of course, as I'm sure many others wouldn't. For me though it's what makes the GFE fantasy and meeting so worthwhile, if I had no feelings I'd just search out PSE meets, (which I do too lol!).

Thus because I'm happy with the fact that I properly like her means I can't just forget that I may have hurt/offended/worried her.

Then if that is the case then the best thing for her and her feelings is for you to forget about her. Anything else is about you and you being selfish, I'm sorry if this is harsh but you have to accept she is a woman whom you paid to act as if she was your girlfriend for an extremely limited amount of time. Other men will be doing the same and as a professional she is paid to deal with this. I doubt you have hurt/offended/worried her, she is simply doing the right thing and realistically the only thing she can do and that is to cut you off.

 I asked about the AW link as your unwillingness to post this if often a sign that subconsciously you do not see her as a WG. By posting a link, some might say, yes she is hot I want to pay to fuck her, or they might say urg she is horrible what are you thinking. Either way by seeing she is viewed by others as a WG, once you have overcome the anger it will help you move on.

[Dani]

I'd just be happy with the meet up, saying everything I could to explain what led to me going overboard, hear from her how she feels about me as a result and offer her the most profuse, humble, heartfelt apology I could muster. Then I just hope beyond hope that she'd see the decent genuine chap that I think I am and let me carry on having great meets with her.

Even trying to get her to agree to this would be a huge mistake.  You crossed the line, she has stopped any contact.  leave it at that.  You may have feelings for her but she obviously doesn't for you.  This is going to sound harsh but if you keep trying to contact her even if just to say sorry you are going to come over as stalkerish and really piss her off.  Men getting feelings for us is one of the main things we really dread as it is hard to hurt someone and tell them that to you they are just work and wages.
she has made it quite clear she does not want contact with you by ignoring you.  she knows if she replies in any way it will just make you contact her more so by ignoring you she is hoping you get the message. 
No amount of apologies will make her see you again and it would be cruel of her is she did as this would reinforce your feelings for her and give you the wrong message.

Forget about her and see someone else but don't ever allow it to get to this stage again. 

[socks]

Even trying to get her to agree to this would be a huge mistake.  You crossed the line, she has stopped any contact.  leave it at that.  You may have feelings for her but she obviously doesn't for you.  This is going to sound harsh but if you keep trying to contact her even if just to say sorry you are going to come over as stalkerish and really piss her off.  Men getting feelings for us is one of the main things we really dread as it is hard to hurt someone and tell them that to you they are just work and wages.
she has made it quite clear she does not want contact with you by ignoring you.  she knows if she replies in any way it will just make you contact her more so by ignoring you she is hoping you get the message. 
No amount of apologies will make her see you again and it would be cruel of her is she did as this would reinforce your feelings for her and give you the wrong message.

Forget about her and see someone else but don't ever allow it to get to this stage again.

Good call cheers Dani.

[socks]

Then if that is the case then the best thing for her and her feelings is for you to forget about her. Anything else is about you and you being selfish, I'm sorry if this is harsh but you have to accept she is a woman whom you paid to act as if she was your girlfriend for an extremely limited amount of time. Other men will be doing the same and as a professional she is paid to deal with this. I doubt you have hurt/offended/worried her, she is simply doing the right thing and realistically the only thing she can do and that is to cut you off.

 I asked about the AW link as your unwillingness to post this if often a sign that subconsciously you do not see her as a WG. By posting a link, some might say, yes she is hot I want to pay to fuck her, or they might say urg she is horrible what are you thinking. Either way by seeing she is viewed by others as a WG, once you have overcome the anger it will help you move on.

Cheers Vorian. I think between you and Dani the sense has been fully knocked into me. I'm not posting her link purely for embarrassment reasons though!

[Rickrabbit]

Struggling to see how as a member of this forum or in a punter/pro$$ie relationship one can feel embarrassed ...unless you put your true personal details out in a discussion thread or turn up for a punt, get undressed and then realise that you forgot to bring any money? (I have to admit I haven't read this thread, so just reacting to the statement made by socks above)

[renatus]

Basically, I know this is not the most ideal of circumstances, but I would like the advice of the people here.

As a client, I have never seen visiting escorts as more than just sex and light hearted chats. I have never really had any problems dating women in private life and I liked visiting escorts because of the choices available to me in being single. I have never visited an escort more than once because to be honest, I have just moved on to my next girl without much thought; I did not want emotional stuff to get in the way of my carefree and fun life.

I was educated in a Russell Group university, well presented, well spoken and I like to look after myself. So, it’s not a case of me being weird or desperate.
Last week, I visited a girl for the first time and as the half hour went on I felt differently to how I felt before. I know, it is only half an hour, and I have only met her once after that for another half an hour. But, I just cannot get myself to just forget about her and move on, I have been miserable for days now trying to just forget.

We got talking and it turns out we are the same age (she’s just started escorting recently), have the same background and so forth. As it is a professional client-escort arrangement, I am just surprised that she has shared such intimate details of her life (her pain at the death of a parent and her looking to God for guidance, her having to look after her younger siblings after the death and explain it to them and her confessing her escorting to the church). I do not know whether to take this emotional intimacy as real or not real, or whether I am just being delusional and that this is the way she usually is to people. I also don't want to take advantage of her if she is naive because I actually do care for her. She also commented on time going by so quickly in the session and we have this thing where I like lifting her up because it is fun.

I also shared some of my private life with her. Such as living in a very religious background, where I am lying to my family about seeing girls (they believe in no sex before marriage), where I believe I won’t be faithful in settling down with one woman because I cannot help myself - I am inherently polygamous. I was honest in telling her also that I don’t think she should tell her future partner about her escorting even though she wants any serious partner to know. She was honest in telling me at the end of our session that I should be truthful with my very religious mum (and therefore my family) that I am seeing her although obviously not to mention the escorting part.

The sex? I try not to analyse it too much, too many variables. It is very passionate but then again she could be like that with other clients. In all honesty though, I have never been this physically addicted to a girl. I have always been the first to say goodbye and leave on a happy note.
I am trying to forget about her, I am really not usually like this. But, I just cannot forget about her. I feel terrible and I just want to be with her. I am not one of these guys that is about getting sex from her for free because I can do that with other girls both in and outside of the escorting world. Although, obviously I would try with her if we were dating. But, the fact is, I don’t want any other girls now at all. It is not even about the sex (although it feels amazing) , I just love being with her and I don’t care if she has no makeup on , if she snores in bed etc etc.

I can understand that she needs the escorting job to support herself. I work in a non-graduate job myself and know how hard it is. But, I just want to eventually see a future together if that makes sense. Don’t get me wrong, I feel like this is such a messed up circumstance, but at this point I feel like I am screwed in the emotional sense anyway. I am trying hard to just distance myself from her but I am just physically and mentally unable to do that. She is not working afaik for the next week or two. But, I just want closure.

I feel terrible, I have not been able to sleep or just be myself lately. And believe me, i wish i can just quit her.

[socks]

I feel terrible, I have not been able to sleep or just be myself lately. And believe me, i wish i can just quit her.

My circumstances are different to yours but the symptoms I felt sound very similar. I've snapped out of it as quickly as I snapped in after the good advice of several and particularly a couple of people on here, following me reading the thread throroughly.

From start to finish (I bloody hope it's finished) my EAS was a week and a half. I don't know if you've read all 13/14 pages yourself? If not I'd do that while you're waiting for others to chip in.

[jcdmj12]

I feel terrible, I have not been able to sleep or just be myself lately. And believe me, i wish i can just quit her.

If you want to date her, ask her. She will probably say no and stop seeing you, but that's better than you repeatedly booking her under the notion it's something it isn't.

[jcdmj12]

My circumstances are different to yours but the symptoms I felt sound very similar. I've snapped out of it as quickly as I snapped in after the good advice of several and particularly a couple of people on here, following me reading the thread throroughly.

From start to finish (I bloody hope it's finished) my EAS was a week and a half. I don't know if you've read all 13/14 pages yourself? If not I'd do that while you're waiting for others to chip in.

Is EAS the same thing as infatuation, where you can't stop thinking about someone etc etc?

[renatus]

My circumstances are different to yours but the symptoms I felt sound very similar. I've snapped out of it as quickly as I snapped in after the good advice of several and particularly a couple of people on here, following me reading the thread throroughly.

From start to finish (I bloody hope it's finished) my EAS was a week and a half. I don't know if you've read all 13/14 pages yourself? If not I'd do that while you're waiting for others to chip in.

I have read all pages of this thread, but as to my own scenario i am torn over it. I am really not being myself. Usually I am so calm and collected but i have just been a mess.

[socks]

Is EAS the same thing as infatuation, where you can't stop thinking about someone etc etc?

For me it was like an infatuation but the reason was different and very much WG linked. I believe I was stressed anyway and had a random realisation that I missed the intimacy that left my domestic relationship years ago. My mind latched onto the WG who gave me the most affection and I felt closest to, tied up with the intense (fucking brilliant!) sex I have had with her. Not sure that explains it adequately to a reader but it makes sense in my head lol

[renatus]

If you want to date her, ask her. She will probably say no and stop seeing you, but that's better than you repeatedly booking her under the notion it's something it isn't.

I don't want her to be the one that rejects me. I would prefer to tell her that i am developing these feelings and it is best that i don't see her anymore because there is a chance that both of us could be hurt in some shape or form if this continues. I dread doing this, but i have to. Because chances are, i feel a lot more strongly about her than she does for me. She feels physically attracted to me yes,  she made this very obvious. But emotionally i don't know. I think she would be able to hurt me a lot if she knows how i feel on the emotional level. Give women this power and when things go sour they can really hurt you.

With the added note i want to tell her that she should stop telling her visitors so much about very intimate parts of her past, because people (maybe her, maybe the punter) are just going to get hurt.

I am not going to be led on here, I refuse to be. But, the problem is, it is already too late to spare my own feelings. I am in love and I wish I wasn't (infatuation, whatever you want to call it).

[vorian]

I don't want her to be the one that rejects me. I would prefer to tell her that i am developing these feelings and it is best that i don't see her anymore because there is a chance that both of us could be hurt in some shape or form if this continues. I dread doing this, but i have to. Because chances are, i feel a lot more strongly about her than she does for me. She feels physically attracted to me yes,  she made this very obvious. But emotionally i don't know. I think she would be able to hurt me a lot if she knows how i feel on the emotional level. Give women this power and when things go sour they can really hurt you.

With the added note i want to tell her that she should stop telling her visitors so much about very intimate parts of her past, because people (maybe her, maybe the punter) are just going to get hurt.

I am not going to be led on here, I refuse to be. But, the problem is, it is already too late to spare my own feelings. I am in love and I wish I wasn't (infatuation, whatever you want to call it).

Any chance of an AW link you will find it helps.

[socks]

I have read all pages of this thread, but as to my own scenario i am torn over it. I am really not being myself. Usually I am so calm and collected but i have just been a mess.

If I had my time again and could think rationally I would have realised that my issue was a gap elsewhere in my life and my favourite escort represented a potentially easy fit solution to it. In laying that shit on her I've probably blown the chance to ever have that fantastic sex with her again. I wish I'd worked out my problem and kept her for what she is only interested in offering - NSA sex in exchange for payment. The question for you then is are you prepared to risk the best sex you can pay for, with someone you really click with, on the chance that she might be someone you could have a real relationship with and that she would be up for one with you. I had some great advice from Dani telling me - she's an escort, her job is to make you happy, to keep you coming back. The chance that she is really interested in you as relationship material is tiny. And even if she is, think of all the problems both of you would have. Neither of you are trustworthy for a start, you're both prepared to sleep around and you both know that of each other!!! And just think of some of the dirty bastards she'd be taking every single fucking day!!! Even me urghh!!!!!!!!

I'd not do anything rash or hasty. Let your sense of perspective grow. If/when you see her again maybe try out some hypothetical questions if you're still not convinced.

[socks]

I don't want her to be the one that rejects me. I would prefer to tell her that i am developing these feelings and it is best that i don't see her anymore because there is a chance that both of us could be hurt in some shape or form if this continues. I dread doing this, but i have to. Because chances are, i feel a lot more strongly about her than she does for me. She feels physically attracted to me yes,  she made this very obvious. But emotionally i don't know. I think she would be able to hurt me a lot if she knows how i feel on the emotional level. Give women this power and when things go sour they can really hurt you.

With the added note i want to tell her that she should stop telling her visitors so much about very intimate parts of her past, because people (maybe her, maybe the punter) are just going to get hurt.

I am not going to be led on here, I refuse to be. But, the problem is, it is already too late to spare my own feelings. I am in love and I wish I wasn't (infatuation, whatever you want to call it).

Don't tell her before you're sure you don't want to be able to punt with her ever again

[Dani]

You state she made it obvious she is physically attracted to you. That is her job I am afraid. Every punter that leaves me thinks I am very attracted to them as that is part of the fantasy they pay for so I give it to them. If she wanted to see you or was really attracted to you she would have told you not to pay and ask to see you socially. As prossies we are not backwards in coming forwards and would state if we wanted to get involved with someone
She did her job well and that is a good thing but if you are having feelings after two half hour bookings you need to look at your self closely.
You only know what she has told you and only see her when she is acting so you have feelings for her escorting persona not her. The amount if talking you could do in two half hour bookings including sex would not be anywhere near enough to develop real feelings

Perhaps you are lacking intimacy so need to find yourself a real girlfriend as a prossie us not going to be that person

[socks]

Perhaps you are lacking intimacy so need to find yourself a real girlfriend as a prossie us not going to be that person

Nail. Hammer. On the head. (well for me anyway)

[Roth]

Best to engage brain and only stay emotionally attached to your cock and not a prossie.

[Rochdull lad]

Basically, I know this is not the most ideal of circumstances, but I would like the advice of the people here.

As a client, I have never seen visiting escorts as more than just sex and light hearted chats. I have never really had any problems dating women in private life and I liked visiting escorts because of the choices available to me in being single. I have never visited an escort more than once because to be honest, I have just moved on to my next girl without much thought; I did not want emotional stuff to get in the way of my carefree and fun life.

I was educated in a Russell Group university, well presented, well spoken and I like to look after myself. So, it’s not a case of me being weird or desperate.

Nowt special about you there, renatus.  I got my degree from the Open University; I'm well-presented [I prefer the hyphen between the words], well-spoken and like to look after myself, too.  So let's not have any of the hoity-toity from you.   As the late Mrs R L [a musician who trained at the Royal Northern College of Music] used to say to the older of her pupils who were doing [e.g.] Grade 6, 7 & 8 exams, "Don't be frightened of the examiner; his sh1t stinks like yours!"

Last week, I visited a girl for the first time and as the half hour went on I felt differently to how I felt before. I know, it is only half an hour, and I have only met her once after that for another half an hour. But, I just cannot get myself to just forget about her and move on, I have been miserable for days now trying to just forget.

We got talking and it turns out we are the same age (she’s just started escorting recently), have the same background and so forth. As it is a professional client-escort arrangement, I am just surprised that she has shared such intimate details of her life (her pain at the death of a parent and her looking to God for guidance, her having to look after her younger siblings after the death and explain it to them and her confessing her escorting to the church). I do not know whether to take this emotional intimacy as real or not real, or whether I am just being delusional and that this is the way she usually is to people. I also don't want to take advantage of her if she is naive because I actually do care for her. She also commented on time going by so quickly in the session and we have this thing where I like lifting her up because it is fun.

I also shared some of my private life with her. Such as living in a very religious background, where I am lying to my family about seeing girls (they believe in no sex before marriage), where I believe I won’t be faithful in settling down with one woman because I cannot help myself - I am inherently polygamous. I was honest in telling her also that I don’t think she should tell her future partner about her escorting even though she wants any serious partner to know. She was honest in telling me at the end of our session that I should be truthful with my very religious mum (and therefore my family) that I am seeing her although obviously not to mention the escorting part.

Perhaps you should have read through some of the threads on here before posting.  One of the attributes of a good WG  on which we frequently comment is her skill at acting.

The sex? I try not to analyse it too much, too many variables. It is very passionate but then again she could be like that with other clients. In all honesty though, I have never been this physically addicted to a girl. I have always been the first to say goodbye and leave on a happy note.
I am trying to forget about her, I am really not usually like this. But, I just cannot forget about her. I feel terrible and I just want to be with her. I am not one of these guys that is about getting sex from her for free because I can do that with other girls both in and outside of the escorting world. Although, obviously I would try with her if we were dating. But, the fact is, I don’t want any other girls now at all. It is not even about the sex (although it feels amazing) , I just love being with her and I don’t care if she has no makeup on , if she snores in bed etc etc.

I can understand that she needs the escorting job to support herself. I work in a non-graduate job myself and know how hard it is. But, I just want to eventually see a future together if that makes sense. Don’t get me wrong, I feel like this is such a messed up circumstance, but at this point I feel like I am screwed in the emotional sense anyway. I am trying hard to just distance myself from her but I am just physically and mentally unable to do that. She is not working afaik for the next week or two. But, I just want closure.

I feel terrible, I have not been able to sleep or just be myself lately. And believe me, i wish i can just quit her.

I'm sorry if you feel that I've been hard on you renatus ["Born again", eh? What was your earlier name on here?]  Just remember; you're on a Punters' website; not a lonely hearts' club.

[renatus]

Nowt special about you there, renatus.  I got my degree from the Open University; I'm well-presented [I prefer the hyphen between the words], well-spoken and like to look after myself, too.  So let's not have any of the hoity-toity from you.   As the late Mrs R L [a musician who trained at the Royal Northern College of Music] used to say to the older of her pupils who were doing [e.g.] Grade 6, 7 & 8 exams, "Don't be frightened of the examiner; his sh1t stinks like yours!"Perhaps you should have read through some of the threads on here before posting.  One of the attributes of a good WG  on which we frequently comment is her skill at acting.
I'm sorry if you feel that I've been hard on you renatus ["Born again", eh? What was your earlier name on here?]  Just remember; you're on a Punters' website; not a lonely hearts' club.

Did i hit a nerve? I was just being honest. I don't need to see escorts but i did it for the choice and the fact i could walk away. Many of the girls that i get it on with outside of punting i do not feel that attracted to , to see again. I go punting because i know for a fact that i have absolute choice over who/what i want. And yes this is a punter website, but the thread is on this specific topic.

[renatus]

If I had my time again and could think rationally I would have realised that my issue was a gap elsewhere in my life and my favourite escort represented a potentially easy fit solution to it. In laying that shit on her I've probably blown the chance to ever have that fantastic sex with her again. I wish I'd worked out my problem and kept her for what she is only interested in offering - NSA sex in exchange for payment. The question for you then is are you prepared to risk the best sex you can pay for, with someone you really click with, on the chance that she might be someone you could have a real relationship with and that she would be up for one with you. I had some great advice from Dani telling me - she's an escort, her job is to make you happy, to keep you coming back. The chance that she is really interested in you as relationship material is tiny. And even if she is, think of all the problems both of you would have. Neither of you are trustworthy for a start, you're both prepared to sleep around and you both know that of each other!!! And just think of some of the dirty bastards she'd be taking every single fucking day!!! Even me urghh!!!!!!!!

I'd not do anything rash or hasty. Let your sense of perspective grow. If/when you see her again maybe try out some hypothetical questions if you're still not convinced.

Well, we both made it clear what we wanted after punting. She wants a civvy that accepts her for her past, fair enough. I think she wants to draw a line in the future under her past and have God and her future husband accept her for what she was.

I think the worst thing that can happen to me is if she rejects me, i don't want her to have the power to hit my ego like that.

[renatus]

You state she made it obvious she is physically attracted to you. That is her job I am afraid. Every punter that leaves me thinks I am very attracted to them as that is part of the fantasy they pay for so I give it to them. If she wanted to see you or was really attracted to you she would have told you not to pay and ask to see you socially. As prossies we are not backwards in coming forwards and would state if we wanted to get involved with someone
She did her job well and that is a good thing but if you are having feelings after two half hour bookings you need to look at your self closely.
You only know what she has told you and only see her when she is acting so you have feelings for her escorting persona not her. The amount if talking you could do in two half hour bookings including sex would not be anywhere near enough to develop real feelings

Perhaps you are lacking intimacy so need to find yourself a real girlfriend as a prossie us not going to be that person

And why would it be so unusual that she is physically attracted to a punter?  Are you robots that just switch off your senses whenever a punter (attractive or otherwise) walks through the door?

Yes, i am lacking someone that actually cares (in the loyal sense) and is not just about casual sex, with or without money.

It kills me, it really does. But if i have to stop seeing her to save my own ego i will. No one is more important to me than me. Not even the best sex i have had.

Fair enough, she is just very good at her job, pretending if you want to call it that. Maybe she likes the sex ? Who knows. But, i am not going to let her be the one that has to power to validate or non-validate me.

[socks]

Well, we both made it clear what we wanted after punting. She wants a civvy that accepts her for her past, fair enough. I think she wants to draw a line in the future under her past and have God and her future husband accept her for what she was.

I think the worst thing that can happen to me is if she rejects me, i don't want her to have the power to hit my ego like that.

Sounds like you might have a bit of insecurity going on there, if you can't take a knock back because of your ego I would suggest there's no real basis for a relationship with her. If you want a partnership you have to be willing to be not in control all the time. Do yourself and her a favour, work on having belief in yourself regardless of whether someone else may or may not reject you, before you go searching for a proper relationship

[Rochdull lad]

Did i hit a nerve?

No.  But I notice you swerved the question I asked you.  Re-natus = "Born again"; do you have a previous "persona" on here?

[renatus]

Sounds like you might have a bit of insecurity going on there, if you can't take a knock back because of your ego I would suggest there's no real basis for a relationship with her. If you want a partnership you have to be willing to be not in control all the time. Do yourself and her a favour, work on having belief in yourself regardless of whether someone else may or may not reject you, before you go searching for a proper relationship

I will do what i must to protect myself. I may feel pain now, but it is nothing compared to what i would feel at the humiliation of being rejected by her. Whether she is nice in doing it or not, i would not be able to live with that, it would stay with me for a very long time.

In my private life, i can get sex fairly regularly (not as regularly as i would like though hence the use of escorts). But i always look for the signals by women first, if they make flirtatious eye contact, touching etc. I would never go out and approach and possibly get rejected myself because it is degrading towards myself. I admit its an issue i have , but i don't want to be hurt and fill the woman with the knowledge that she has hurt me.

[renatus]

No.  But I notice you swerved the question I asked you.  Re-natus = "Born again"; do you have a previous "persona" on here?

Honestly, no. It's just a nice little bit of latin. Check my records with the mods, they will tell you the same if you are sceptical.

[sarahjayneleeds]

Well, we both made it clear what we wanted after punting. She wants a civvy that accepts her for her past, fair enough. I think she wants to draw a line in the future under her past and have God and her future husband accept her for what she was.

I think the worst thing that can happen to me is if she rejects me, i don't want her to have the power to hit my ego like that.

Just because you both discussed what she would like to happen in her life when she stops escorting doesn't mean she wants it to happen with you it was possibly just a general comment. She said she wants a "civvy that accepts her for her past". Do you think when she said "civvy" that included ex punter which is what you would be?

Most WG's would want as she described ( Ok maybe without the God bit  ) but if you  asked them a lot of WG's wouldn't date a punter ex one or not.

[renatus]

Just because you both discussed what she would like to happen in her life when she stops escorting doesn't mean she wants it to happen with you it was possibly just a general comment. She said she wants a "civvy that accepts her for her past". Do you think when she said "civvy" that included ex punter which is what you would be?

Most WG's would want as she described ( Ok maybe without the God bit  ) but if you  asked them a lot of WG's wouldn't date a punter ex one or not.

No, i know what she meant. I know she meant that she wanted a guy not associated with the punting world. Maybe she sees that as the end of her escorting eventually, someone 'normal' accepting her for what she was. I will be a small part of that murky past i guess. But, whatever. i am going to draw a line under it and not see her even if it means pain it will be nothing compared to the pain and humiliation of rejection. I give no girl that power over me in the foreseeable future.

[sarahjayneleeds]

No, i know what she meant. I know she meant that she wanted a guy not associated with the punting world. Maybe she sees that as the end of her escorting eventually, someone 'normal' accepting her for what she was. I will be a small part of that murky past i guess. But, whatever. i am going to draw a line under it and not see her even if it means pain it will be nothing compared to the pain and humiliation of rejection. I give no girl that power over me in the foreseeable future.

I really think that seems to be for the best Renatus

Good luck 

[Dani]

And why would it be so unusual that she is physically attracted to a punter?  Are you robots that just switch off your senses whenever a punter (attractive or otherwise) walks through the door?

Yes, i am lacking someone that actually cares (in the loyal sense) and is not just about casual sex, with or without money.

It kills me, it really does. But if i have to stop seeing her to save my own ego i will. No one is more important to me than me. Not even the best sex i have had.

Fair enough, she is just very good at her job, pretending if you want to call it that. Maybe she likes the sex ? Who knows. But, i am not going to let her be the one that has to power to validate or non-validate me.

No it's not unusual to feel attraction with a punter but it is a different type of attraction and is very hard to explain to someone who doesn't do this job. It's more of a. Oh thank god he is nice. Than a I would like to date him

She us not trying to have power to validate you. She us probably unaware you feel like this considering you have only spent two half hours with her.

I can understand done punters feeling this way when they have been seeing a prossie for months but not after such a minuscule amount if time
As I said it is not her you have feelings for as you only know the actress and then not very well. I think you feel lonely and have latched on to the fantasy
Believe me we don't try to validate clients and if we have only seen them for shirt bookings once or twice we don't even remember their names so have to put it in our notes so we know for next time. 

I feel a total bitch as it seems lately all I am saying to guys is you are just a job, a pay packet it new handbag. This one has actually said according to you she does not want a punter as a partner so perhaps she is slightly aware and said it to let you down gently

You paid. You got the fantasy. You enjoyed every moment if it so her job is done. Then you walk away and book someone else.
Sorry

[renatus]

No it's not unusual to feel attraction with a punter but it is a different type of attraction and is very hard to explain to someone who doesn't do this job. It's more of a. Oh thank god he is nice. Than a I would like to date him

She us not trying to have power to validate you. She us probably unaware you feel like this considering you have only spent two half hours with her.

I can understand done punters feeling this way when they have been seeing a prossie for months but not after such a minuscule amount if time
As I said it is not her you have feelings for as you only know the actress and then not very well. I think you feel lonely and have latched on to the fantasy
Believe me we don't try to validate clients and if we have only seen them for shirt bookings once or twice we don't even remember their names so have to put it in our notes so we know for next time. 

I feel a total bitch as it seems lately all I am saying to guys is you are just a job, a pay packet it new handbag. This one has actually said according to you she does not want a punter as a partner so perhaps she is slightly aware and said it to let you down gently

You paid. You got the fantasy. You enjoyed every moment if it so her job is done. Then you walk away and book someone else.
Sorry

Well, i guess when you are having sex with 10 men a day you do become desensitized. When you meet someone attractive its probably more relief than anything , and a more pleasant 'job'. But, a job nonetheless because you probably put all of us in the 'punters' box.

Oh, i doubt she is trying to have the power to validate me. But, i would rather she not have the chance to have the power to validate/non-validate me. I'm not going to visit her again, so i'm not going to give her that chance.

Does it not give you an ego though to reject the punter? Really? If we are being honest about it. And no, at the time of the conversation i feigned disinterest in relationships like i usually do. I can act too. My guard is pretty high up and for good reason.

No, i don't feel like the punting world is offering me much anymore. When i started 4 years ago i was younger and only interested in having sex with as many physically attractive girls as possible. What i want has changed, i find it all a bit empty these days. I also find the non-punting "pulling" scene a bit empty too. With this girl, i felt vulnerable inside and i do not like that. So, whilst i enjoyed the sex i really felt threatened by the emotional intimacy i felt.


But, whatever. I have made my mind up now.

[LL]

Fucking hell did I just log in to Oprah Winfrey's website by mistake? 
Seriously , many of us have been through this kind of experience but guys, pour your heart out to a friend in real life. Writing about it here only has a very limited impact to your recovery I'm afraid. If you don't have a real-life friend whom you can trust with your punting stories (and I really wish I had never confided in a friend of mine as that guy has so much power over me now and likes to tease me about it sometimes) find a professional you can talk to. I think you'd be surprised at the number of punters that end up in counselling (although of course it happens more to WGs - so much so that there are some counsellors who specialise in treating WGs)

[renatus]

Fucking hell did I just log in to Oprah Winfrey's website by mistake? 
Seriously , many of us have been through this kind of experience but guys, pour your heart out to a friend in real life. Writing about it here only has a very limited impact to your recovery I'm afraid. If you don't have a real-life friend whom you can trust with your punting stories (and I really wish I had never confided in a friend of mine as that guy has so much power over me now and likes to tease me about it sometimes) find a professional you can talk to. I think you'd be surprised at the number of punters that end up in counselling (although of course it happens more to WGs - so much so that there are some counsellors who specialise in treating WGs)

I am hurt, but i am not hurt to the point where the pain is unbearable, far from it. I would not feel comfortable talking about these issues to anyone in real life, so that is a no from me.

I don't need counselling. I honestly think i can save myself by protecting my ego, it is very important to me. My sense of pride in being a man. Us Brits are stoical yes, but for good reason. I think that stoicism and rationality has served me well so far in my life and it is not about to fail me now. I refuse to be drawn into this girl's reality for any longer.

And do you know what? It does hurt yes. It hurts because i know she will be buggered by numerous men young and old for the time she is in the industry. She is a great looking girl and great at sex, but she will have her day like most wg's. Everyone has a shelf life and i would prefer it if i remembered her for the great shag she was, leaving in a dignified manner without any humiliation on my part. Or indeed clinging around to see her descend into becoming a worn out wg.  It is not my responsibility to guide her, i have a feeling that she will make her own mistakes. But, whatever, i am done with seeing her.

[vorian]

I am hurt, but i am not hurt to the point where the pain is unbearable, far from it. I would not feel comfortable talking about these issues to anyone in real life, so that is a no from me.

I don't need counselling. I honestly think i can save myself by protecting my ego, it is very important to me. My sense of pride in being a man. Us Brits are stoical yes, but for good reason. I think that stoicism and rationality has served me well so far in my life and it is not about to fail me now. I refuse to be drawn into this girl's reality for any longer.

And do you know what? It does hurt yes. It hurts because i know she will be buggered by numerous men young and old for the time she is in the industry. She is a great looking girl and great at sex, but she will have her day like most wg's. Everyone has a shelf life and i would prefer it if i remembered her for the great shag she was, leaving in a dignified manner without any humiliation on my part. Or indeed clinging around to see her descend into becoming a worn out wg.  It is not my responsibility to guide her, i have a feeling that she will make her own mistakes. But, whatever, i am done with seeing her.

Well it is good you have made your mind up then, as you say she is a good WG how about sharing her link please.

[yorkshire123]

Well it is good you have made your mind up then, as you say she is a good WG how about sharing her link please.

Vorian, check his early posts & you may find a clue, as he seems reluctant to say i would rather not speculate.

[socks]

I will do what i must to protect myself. I may feel pain now, but it is nothing compared to what i would feel at the humiliation of being rejected by her. Whether she is nice in doing it or not, i would not be able to live with that, it would stay with me for a very long time.

In my private life, i can get sex fairly regularly (not as regularly as i would like though hence the use of escorts). But i always look for the signals by women first, if they make flirtatious eye contact, touching etc. I would never go out and approach and possibly get rejected myself because it is degrading towards myself. I admit its an issue i have , but i don't want to be hurt and fill the woman with the knowledge that she has hurt me.

Mate, that's a massive handicap to any sort of progress in life. You are not the centre of the universe, some people will not like you, will reject you, will not massage your ego. If you don't resolve that and start recognising that the only person who gives validation is yourself you're never gonna be happy. Everyone will see you as a control freak. Any woman with any sense of self respect will run a mile from you. Someone rejects me, yeah it hurts but you have to either look at yourself and see how to do better next time or look at the other person and see what losers they must be to not get you, or come up with some other mechanism that works for you. But just to avoid it and be governed by it is pretty fucked. Use WG's for what they are, paid for fuck buddies and stop worrying about it (says he who was pretty fucked up two days ago lol)

[renatus]

Vorian, check his early posts & you may find a clue, as he seems reluctant to say i would rather not speculate.

Check my early posts, by all means. They are in the public domain after all. I am not exactly going to dignify your interest by sharing the profile myself though.

[vorian]

Check my early posts, by all means. They are in the public domain after all. I am not exactly going to dignify your interest by sharing the profile myself though.

May I ask why, the sharing of information on WG's is kind of the point of this forum,  you seem to have been happy with the service she gave you, which is great. Thus it would be helpful for other punters, for you to share the link so others can potentially have a punt with her.

[renatus]

Mate, that's a massive handicap to any sort of progress in life. You are not the centre of the universe, some people will not like you, will reject you, will not massage your ego. If you don't resolve that and start recognising that the only person who gives validation is yourself you're never gonna be happy. Everyone will see you as a control freak. Any woman with any sense of self respect will run a mile from you. Someone rejects me, yeah it hurts but you have to either look at yourself and see how to do better next time or look at the other person and see what losers they must be to not get you, or come up with some other mechanism that works for you. But just to avoid it and be governed by it is pretty fucked. Use WG's for what they are, paid for fuck buddies and stop worrying about it (says he who was pretty fucked up two days ago lol)

I think i am fine, i don't intend to control people no. I would just not want to give them power to reject me when i really like them. I would rather be hurt than very hurt if i get myself even more involved.

As for the girl, I don't think i can live with the knowledge that if go back to her, i would be doing something that i think is degrading towards myself.

I would rather live in the knowledge that i know for a fact that she has made the wrong decision with her life because she feels guilt via religious confession. But, it is not my place to try and change that. Do i find it tragic ? Yes, i truly do and i wish it could be different. But, it is a part of life. Crude, but it is not me that is going to get screwed by the young and the old ad infinitum. My decision is relatively easy when i come to think of it. I don't want to take that baggage when the honeymoon period ends, i will let some other bloke do that. 

[renatus]

May I ask why, the sharing of information on WG's is kind of the point of this forum,  you seem to have been happy with the service she gave you, which is great. Thus it would be helpful for other punters, for you to share the link so others can potentially have a punt with her.

Well, you are not exactly offering me much in return. It's give and take. I'm not taking anything from you and you are the one that will be benefiting from my generosity. Nothing personal, just a difference in ideology.

[socks]

I think i am fine, i don't intend to control people no. I would just not want to give them power to reject me when i really like them. I would rather be hurt than very hurt if i get myself even more involved.

As for the girl, I don't think i can live with the knowledge that if go back to her, i would be doing something that i think is degrading towards myself.

I would rather live in the knowledge that i know for a fact that she has made the wrong decision with her life because she feels guilt via religious confession. But, it is not my place to try and change that. Do i find it tragic ? Yes, i truly do and i wish it could be different. But, it is a part of life. Crude, but it is not me that is going to get screwed by the young and the old ad infinitum. My decision is relatively easy when i come to think of it. I don't want to take that baggage when the honeymoon period ends, i will let some other bloke do that.

Don't matter how you get there as long as you do. Now go plan your next dirty NSA escapade like what I have!!!

[vorian]

Well, you are not exactly offering me much in return. It's give and take. I'm not taking anything from you and you are the one that will be benefiting from my generosity. Nothing personal, just a difference in ideology.

I have a number of reviews you are welcome to read if you wish,  you need to think of this girl as a prossie nothing more nothing less. Until you accept this you subconsciously will not move on,  help the next punter to pay her money for her services.  I would also point out in the past you have seen this as a truth and asked other members for details.

Come on , details goddamnit! 

Will write a review for the forum if i confirm it tomorrow and go. Is she any good?  Details please.

External Link/Members Only

Tomorrow, barring anything else coming up. If anyone else has any info please share.

Or is it now the case that other punters are not good enough to punt with this girl.

[Dani]

Don't matter how you get there as long as you do. Now go plan your next dirty NSA escapade like what I have!!!

Good on you. Nice to see you are on the way to getting over it

Even if you started a relationship with a prossie it would be bloody hard. Not many men can compartmentalise it as just work when  its their bird getting fucked by lots if different men. Mentally it can be not only exhausting but soul destroying as well if you do not have the minority mindset of swingers or people who agree to forego monogamy and the majority dont. They think they do but it rarely lasts and they come to realise they can't even look at their prossie partner

[renatus]

I have a number of reviews you are welcome to read if you wish,  you need to think of this girl as a prossie nothing more nothing less. Until you accept this you subconsciously will not move on,  help the next punter to pay her money for her services.  I would also point out in the past you have seen this as a truth and asked other members for details.



Or is it now the case that other punters are not good enough to punt with this girl.

I don't know. Maybe it is her, maybe it is not. Your guess may be correct and you are welcome to ask around.

[yorkshire123]

I don't know. Maybe it is her, maybe it is not. Your guess may be correct and you are welcome to ask around.

renatus, i feel your pain done that been there & came out the other side.
In my short time on this forum i have learned many things, one is if you goad the genuine contributors it will only end one way.

[vorian]

I don't know. Maybe it is her, maybe it is not. Your guess may be correct and you are welcome to ask around.

I do not punt in your area,  personally I have no interest. The point being made is not some guessing game, you know how this forum works,  you have asked people to share. You are refusing to because and I will be harsh here,  you don't want to help men fuck this girl,  who you think is or should be your girlfriend. The fact  that you are refusing to follow the ethos of this forum and post a link means you have overstepped the SP/SS line and am reading more into this due to your selfish feelings. If you thought this girl was good you would want her to be busy and successful and have more clients,  you can help her in this way by posting her link.

[Tjkooker]

Jesus I just read one of renatus posts. I feel like topping myself!!!

[vorian]

Jesus I just read one of renatus posts. I feel like topping myself!!!

TJ he is still at that point where he does not accept that she is a prossie and he hates the thought of other men fucking her. That's why he won't post her link.

He has also convinced himself that I am trying to track down his girl. So I can pint with her, missing the fact that I am a SE and London punter not a NE punter. Again by demonising me he avoids having to admit to himself that the feelings are not real but a delusion.

[Tjkooker]

What do you mean he would be all upset to find out that she was gargling on my cum while I pissed on her face last night? Oops. Better not mention that anal fisting either then.... Shit done it again. Sorry renatus