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Author Topic: Emotional Attachment Syndrome  (Read 64906 times)

Offline renatus

Sounds like you might have a bit of insecurity going on there, if you can't take a knock back because of your ego I would suggest there's no real basis for a relationship with her. If you want a partnership you have to be willing to be not in control all the time. Do yourself and her a favour, work on having belief in yourself regardless of whether someone else may or may not reject you, before you go searching for a proper relationship

I will do what i must to protect myself. I may feel pain now, but it is nothing compared to what i would feel at the humiliation of being rejected by her. Whether she is nice in doing it or not, i would not be able to live with that, it would stay with me for a very long time.

In my private life, i can get sex fairly regularly (not as regularly as i would like though hence the use of escorts). But i always look for the signals by women first, if they make flirtatious eye contact, touching etc. I would never go out and approach and possibly get rejected myself because it is degrading towards myself. I admit its an issue i have , but i don't want to be hurt and fill the woman with the knowledge that she has hurt me.


Offline renatus

No.  But I notice you swerved the question I asked you.  Re-natus = "Born again"; do you have a previous "persona" on here?

Honestly, no. It's just a nice little bit of latin. Check my records with the mods, they will tell you the same if you are sceptical.

Offline sarahjayneleeds

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Well, we both made it clear what we wanted after punting. She wants a civvy that accepts her for her past, fair enough. I think she wants to draw a line in the future under her past and have God and her future husband accept her for what she was.

I think the worst thing that can happen to me is if she rejects me, i don't want her to have the power to hit my ego like that.

Just because you both discussed what she would like to happen in her life when she stops escorting doesn't mean she wants it to happen with you it was possibly just a general comment. She said she wants a "civvy that accepts her for her past". Do you think when she said "civvy" that included ex punter which is what you would be?

Most WG's would want as she described ( Ok maybe without the God bit  :)) but if you  asked them a lot of WG's wouldn't date a punter ex one or not.

Offline renatus

Just because you both discussed what she would like to happen in her life when she stops escorting doesn't mean she wants it to happen with you it was possibly just a general comment. She said she wants a "civvy that accepts her for her past". Do you think when she said "civvy" that included ex punter which is what you would be?

Most WG's would want as she described ( Ok maybe without the God bit  :)) but if you  asked them a lot of WG's wouldn't date a punter ex one or not.

No, i know what she meant. I know she meant that she wanted a guy not associated with the punting world. Maybe she sees that as the end of her escorting eventually, someone 'normal' accepting her for what she was. I will be a small part of that murky past i guess. But, whatever. i am going to draw a line under it and not see her even if it means pain it will be nothing compared to the pain and humiliation of rejection. I give no girl that power over me in the foreseeable future.



Offline sarahjayneleeds

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No, i know what she meant. I know she meant that she wanted a guy not associated with the punting world. Maybe she sees that as the end of her escorting eventually, someone 'normal' accepting her for what she was. I will be a small part of that murky past i guess. But, whatever. i am going to draw a line under it and not see her even if it means pain it will be nothing compared to the pain and humiliation of rejection. I give no girl that power over me in the foreseeable future.

I really think that seems to be for the best Renatus

Good luck  :)

Offline Dani

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  • Posts: 2,593

And why would it be so unusual that she is physically attracted to a punter?  Are you robots that just switch off your senses whenever a punter (attractive or otherwise) walks through the door?

Yes, i am lacking someone that actually cares (in the loyal sense) and is not just about casual sex, with or without money.

It kills me, it really does. But if i have to stop seeing her to save my own ego i will. No one is more important to me than me. Not even the best sex i have had.

Fair enough, she is just very good at her job, pretending if you want to call it that. Maybe she likes the sex ? Who knows. But, i am not going to let her be the one that has to power to validate or non-validate me.
No it's not unusual to feel attraction with a punter but it is a different type of attraction and is very hard to explain to someone who doesn't do this job. It's more of a. Oh thank god he is nice. Than a I would like to date him

She us not trying to have power to validate you. She us probably unaware you feel like this considering you have only spent two half hours with her.

I can understand done punters feeling this way when they have been seeing a prossie for months but not after such a minuscule amount if time
As I said it is not her you have feelings for as you only know the actress and then not very well. I think you feel lonely and have latched on to the fantasy
Believe me we don't try to validate clients and if we have only seen them for shirt bookings once or twice we don't even remember their names so have to put it in our notes so we know for next time. 

I feel a total bitch as it seems lately all I am saying to guys is you are just a job, a pay packet it new handbag. This one has actually said according to you she does not want a punter as a partner so perhaps she is slightly aware and said it to let you down gently

You paid. You got the fantasy. You enjoyed every moment if it so her job is done. Then you walk away and book someone else.
Sorry

Offline renatus

No it's not unusual to feel attraction with a punter but it is a different type of attraction and is very hard to explain to someone who doesn't do this job. It's more of a. Oh thank god he is nice. Than a I would like to date him

She us not trying to have power to validate you. She us probably unaware you feel like this considering you have only spent two half hours with her.

I can understand done punters feeling this way when they have been seeing a prossie for months but not after such a minuscule amount if time
As I said it is not her you have feelings for as you only know the actress and then not very well. I think you feel lonely and have latched on to the fantasy
Believe me we don't try to validate clients and if we have only seen them for shirt bookings once or twice we don't even remember their names so have to put it in our notes so we know for next time. 

I feel a total bitch as it seems lately all I am saying to guys is you are just a job, a pay packet it new handbag. This one has actually said according to you she does not want a punter as a partner so perhaps she is slightly aware and said it to let you down gently

You paid. You got the fantasy. You enjoyed every moment if it so her job is done. Then you walk away and book someone else.

Sorry

Well, i guess when you are having sex with 10 men a day you do become desensitized. When you meet someone attractive its probably more relief than anything , and a more pleasant 'job'. But, a job nonetheless because you probably put all of us in the 'punters' box.

Oh, i doubt she is trying to have the power to validate me. But, i would rather she not have the chance to have the power to validate/non-validate me. I'm not going to visit her again, so i'm not going to give her that chance.

Does it not give you an ego though to reject the punter? Really? If we are being honest about it. And no, at the time of the conversation i feigned disinterest in relationships like i usually do. I can act too. My guard is pretty high up and for good reason.

No, i don't feel like the punting world is offering me much anymore. When i started 4 years ago i was younger and only interested in having sex with as many physically attractive girls as possible. What i want has changed, i find it all a bit empty these days. I also find the non-punting "pulling" scene a bit empty too. With this girl, i felt vulnerable inside and i do not like that. So, whilst i enjoyed the sex i really felt threatened by the emotional intimacy i felt.


But, whatever. I have made my mind up now.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2014, 12:11:59 AM by renatus »

Offline LL

Fucking hell did I just log in to Oprah Winfrey's website by mistake?  :D
Seriously , many of us have been through this kind of experience but guys, pour your heart out to a friend in real life. Writing about it here only has a very limited impact to your recovery I'm afraid. If you don't have a real-life friend whom you can trust with your punting stories (and I really wish I had never confided in a friend of mine as that guy has so much power over me now and likes to tease me about it sometimes) find a professional you can talk to. I think you'd be surprised at the number of punters that end up in counselling (although of course it happens more to WGs - so much so that there are some counsellors who specialise in treating WGs)
« Last Edit: April 19, 2014, 12:17:14 AM by LL »

Offline renatus

Fucking hell did I just log in to Oprah Winfrey's website by mistake?  :D
Seriously , many of us have been through this kind of experience but guys, pour your heart out to a friend in real life. Writing about it here only has a very limited impact to your recovery I'm afraid. If you don't have a real-life friend whom you can trust with your punting stories (and I really wish I had never confided in a friend of mine as that guy has so much power over me now and likes to tease me about it sometimes) find a professional you can talk to. I think you'd be surprised at the number of punters that end up in counselling (although of course it happens more to WGs - so much so that there are some counsellors who specialise in treating WGs)

I am hurt, but i am not hurt to the point where the pain is unbearable, far from it. I would not feel comfortable talking about these issues to anyone in real life, so that is a no from me.

I don't need counselling. I honestly think i can save myself by protecting my ego, it is very important to me. My sense of pride in being a man. Us Brits are stoical yes, but for good reason. I think that stoicism and rationality has served me well so far in my life and it is not about to fail me now. I refuse to be drawn into this girl's reality for any longer.

And do you know what? It does hurt yes. It hurts because i know she will be buggered by numerous men young and old for the time she is in the industry. She is a great looking girl and great at sex, but she will have her day like most wg's. Everyone has a shelf life and i would prefer it if i remembered her for the great shag she was, leaving in a dignified manner without any humiliation on my part. Or indeed clinging around to see her descend into becoming a worn out wg.  It is not my responsibility to guide her, i have a feeling that she will make her own mistakes. But, whatever, i am done with seeing her.

Offline vorian

I am hurt, but i am not hurt to the point where the pain is unbearable, far from it. I would not feel comfortable talking about these issues to anyone in real life, so that is a no from me.

I don't need counselling. I honestly think i can save myself by protecting my ego, it is very important to me. My sense of pride in being a man. Us Brits are stoical yes, but for good reason. I think that stoicism and rationality has served me well so far in my life and it is not about to fail me now. I refuse to be drawn into this girl's reality for any longer.

And do you know what? It does hurt yes. It hurts because i know she will be buggered by numerous men young and old for the time she is in the industry. She is a great looking girl and great at sex, but she will have her day like most wg's. Everyone has a shelf life and i would prefer it if i remembered her for the great shag she was, leaving in a dignified manner without any humiliation on my part. Or indeed clinging around to see her descend into becoming a worn out wg.  It is not my responsibility to guide her, i have a feeling that she will make her own mistakes. But, whatever, i am done with seeing her.


Well it is good you have made your mind up then, as you say she is a good WG how about sharing her link please.
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account

Offline yorkshire123


Well it is good you have made your mind up then, as you say she is a good WG how about sharing her link please.
Vorian, check his early posts & you may find a clue, as he seems reluctant to say i would rather not speculate.
Banning reason: Making false malicious allegations against admin

Offline socks

I will do what i must to protect myself. I may feel pain now, but it is nothing compared to what i would feel at the humiliation of being rejected by her. Whether she is nice in doing it or not, i would not be able to live with that, it would stay with me for a very long time.

In my private life, i can get sex fairly regularly (not as regularly as i would like though hence the use of escorts). But i always look for the signals by women first, if they make flirtatious eye contact, touching etc. I would never go out and approach and possibly get rejected myself because it is degrading towards myself. I admit its an issue i have , but i don't want to be hurt and fill the woman with the knowledge that she has hurt me.
Mate, that's a massive handicap to any sort of progress in life. You are not the centre of the universe, some people will not like you, will reject you, will not massage your ego. If you don't resolve that and start recognising that the only person who gives validation is yourself you're never gonna be happy. Everyone will see you as a control freak. Any woman with any sense of self respect will run a mile from you. Someone rejects me, yeah it hurts but you have to either look at yourself and see how to do better next time or look at the other person and see what losers they must be to not get you, or come up with some other mechanism that works for you. But just to avoid it and be governed by it is pretty fucked. Use WG's for what they are, paid for fuck buddies and stop worrying about it (says he who was pretty fucked up two days ago lol)

Offline renatus

Vorian, check his early posts & you may find a clue, as he seems reluctant to say i would rather not speculate.

Check my early posts, by all means. They are in the public domain after all. I am not exactly going to dignify your interest by sharing the profile myself though.

Offline vorian

Check my early posts, by all means. They are in the public domain after all. I am not exactly going to dignify your interest by sharing the profile myself though.

May I ask why, the sharing of information on WG's is kind of the point of this forum,  you seem to have been happy with the service she gave you, which is great. Thus it would be helpful for other punters, for you to share the link so others can potentially have a punt with her.
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account

Offline renatus

Mate, that's a massive handicap to any sort of progress in life. You are not the centre of the universe, some people will not like you, will reject you, will not massage your ego. If you don't resolve that and start recognising that the only person who gives validation is yourself you're never gonna be happy. Everyone will see you as a control freak. Any woman with any sense of self respect will run a mile from you. Someone rejects me, yeah it hurts but you have to either look at yourself and see how to do better next time or look at the other person and see what losers they must be to not get you, or come up with some other mechanism that works for you. But just to avoid it and be governed by it is pretty fucked. Use WG's for what they are, paid for fuck buddies and stop worrying about it (says he who was pretty fucked up two days ago lol)

I think i am fine, i don't intend to control people no. I would just not want to give them power to reject me when i really like them. I would rather be hurt than very hurt if i get myself even more involved.

As for the girl, I don't think i can live with the knowledge that if go back to her, i would be doing something that i think is degrading towards myself.

I would rather live in the knowledge that i know for a fact that she has made the wrong decision with her life because she feels guilt via religious confession. But, it is not my place to try and change that. Do i find it tragic ? Yes, i truly do and i wish it could be different. But, it is a part of life. Crude, but it is not me that is going to get screwed by the young and the old ad infinitum. My decision is relatively easy when i come to think of it. I don't want to take that baggage when the honeymoon period ends, i will let some other bloke do that. 

Offline renatus

May I ask why, the sharing of information on WG's is kind of the point of this forum,  you seem to have been happy with the service she gave you, which is great. Thus it would be helpful for other punters, for you to share the link so others can potentially have a punt with her.

Well, you are not exactly offering me much in return. It's give and take. I'm not taking anything from you and you are the one that will be benefiting from my generosity. Nothing personal, just a difference in ideology.

Offline socks

I think i am fine, i don't intend to control people no. I would just not want to give them power to reject me when i really like them. I would rather be hurt than very hurt if i get myself even more involved.

As for the girl, I don't think i can live with the knowledge that if go back to her, i would be doing something that i think is degrading towards myself.

I would rather live in the knowledge that i know for a fact that she has made the wrong decision with her life because she feels guilt via religious confession. But, it is not my place to try and change that. Do i find it tragic ? Yes, i truly do and i wish it could be different. But, it is a part of life. Crude, but it is not me that is going to get screwed by the young and the old ad infinitum. My decision is relatively easy when i come to think of it. I don't want to take that baggage when the honeymoon period ends, i will let some other bloke do that.

Don't matter how you get there as long as you do. Now go plan your next dirty NSA escapade like what I have!!! :yahoo:

Offline vorian

Well, you are not exactly offering me much in return. It's give and take. I'm not taking anything from you and you are the one that will be benefiting from my generosity. Nothing personal, just a difference in ideology.

I have a number of reviews you are welcome to read if you wish,  you need to think of this girl as a prossie nothing more nothing less. Until you accept this you subconsciously will not move on,  help the next punter to pay her money for her services.  I would also point out in the past you have seen this as a truth and asked other members for details.

Come on , details goddamnit!  :D


Will write a review for the forum if i confirm it tomorrow and go. Is she any good?  Details please.

http://www.escortsnortheast.co.uk/newcastle-escorts/emily_newcastle_escort.html

Tomorrow, barring anything else coming up. If anyone else has any info please share.


Or is it now the case that other punters are not good enough to punt with this girl.
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account

Offline Dani

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  • Posts: 2,593
Don't matter how you get there as long as you do. Now go plan your next dirty NSA escapade like what I have!!! :yahoo:

Good on you. Nice to see you are on the way to getting over it

Even if you started a relationship with a prossie it would be bloody hard. Not many men can compartmentalise it as just work when  its their bird getting fucked by lots if different men. Mentally it can be not only exhausting but soul destroying as well if you do not have the minority mindset of swingers or people who agree to forego monogamy and the majority dont. They think they do but it rarely lasts and they come to realise they can't even look at their prossie partner

Offline renatus

I have a number of reviews you are welcome to read if you wish,  you need to think of this girl as a prossie nothing more nothing less. Until you accept this you subconsciously will not move on,  help the next punter to pay her money for her services.  I would also point out in the past you have seen this as a truth and asked other members for details.



Or is it now the case that other punters are not good enough to punt with this girl.

I don't know. Maybe it is her, maybe it is not. Your guess may be correct and you are welcome to ask around.

Offline yorkshire123

I don't know. Maybe it is her, maybe it is not. Your guess may be correct and you are welcome to ask around.
renatus, i feel your pain done that been there & came out the other side.
In my short time on this forum i have learned many things, one is if you goad the genuine contributors it will only end one way.
Banning reason: Making false malicious allegations against admin

Offline vorian

I don't know. Maybe it is her, maybe it is not. Your guess may be correct and you are welcome to ask around.

I do not punt in your area,  personally I have no interest. The point being made is not some guessing game, you know how this forum works,  you have asked people to share. You are refusing to because and I will be harsh here,  you don't want to help men fuck this girl,  who you think is or should be your girlfriend. The fact  that you are refusing to follow the ethos of this forum and post a link means you have overstepped the SP/SS line and am reading more into this due to your selfish feelings. If you thought this girl was good you would want her to be busy and successful and have more clients,  you can help her in this way by posting her link.
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account

Offline Tjkooker

Jesus I just read one of renatus posts. I feel like topping myself!!!
Banning reason: Outing and trolling a punter because he posted a negative about his favourite prossie. White-knight fluffy that pretends otherwise.

Offline vorian

Jesus I just read one of renatus posts. I feel like topping myself!!!

TJ he is still at that point where he does not accept that she is a prossie and he hates the thought of other men fucking her. That's why he won't post her link.

He has also convinced himself that I am trying to track down his girl. So I can pint with her, missing the fact that I am a SE and London punter not a NE punter. Again by demonising me he avoids having to admit to himself that the feelings are not real but a delusion.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2014, 01:42:28 AM by vorian »
Banning reason: Two faced - Slagging off UKP and it's membership using fake account

Offline Tjkooker

What do you mean he would be all upset to find out that she was gargling on my cum while I pissed on her face last night? Oops. Better not mention that anal fisting either then.... Shit done it again. Sorry renatus  :cry:
Banning reason: Outing and trolling a punter because he posted a negative about his favourite prossie. White-knight fluffy that pretends otherwise.


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