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Author Topic: Emotional Attachment Syndrome  (Read 64627 times)

Offline skipper121

The best approach for punting is that you are getting a service and that's it.  During that hour or two, the world looks very different, as living a dream, having something that is impossible in normal life, a gfe and sex with a twenty yo, but as soon as you exit that door,  she wipes her cunt and throw the tissue in the toilet and slides the pounds she earned in her piggy bank. Period. Nevertheless, there are very rare occasions that a prossies have a relationship with one of their clients (usually very rich) but as I said that's an exception, and I dont think the relationship will be long-term.

Well fair point and true if it were an ideal world, but sometimes things aren't that simple.  Take my case - separated from my wife four years ago and no relationships or sex since.  I know it's unlikely now at my age I will ever get into another relationship and I thought that suited me and I thought I'd be ok with it.  But I live a fairly solitary life now and as years have gone by I've become more aware of my loneliness.  I started punting last week because I thought I wanted to fulfil a physical need.  Then had only my second punt the other day and Bam! there was an emotional connection too, which I wasn't looking for and hadn't expected.  Had great sex for 40 minutes but then also had a great cuddle and chat for 15 minutes after, which I enjoyed immensely on a totally different level.

You're totally right of course, once I was dressed and out the door she would have forgotten me, I know that.  I'm just a client.  But for me it wasn't that easy to disconnect and I was still thinking about her for a long time after.  Fortunately I've only seen her the once and now I shan't see her again because I know it couldn't go anywhere.  But it just goes to show what can hit you out of the blue when you're really not expecting it.  Admittedly I'm probably emotionally vulnerable at the moment so this won't apply to everyone

Well fair point and true if it were an ideal world, but sometimes things aren't that simple.  Take my case - separated from my wife four years ago and no relationships or sex since.  I know it's unlikely now at my age I will ever get into another relationship and I thought that suited me and I thought I'd be ok with it.  But I live a fairly solitary life now and as years have gone by I've become more aware of my loneliness.  I started punting last week because I thought I wanted to fulfil a physical need.  Then had only my second punt the other day and Bam! there was an emotional connection too, which I wasn't looking for and hadn't expected.  Had great sex for 40 minutes but then also had a great cuddle and chat for 15 minutes after, which I enjoyed immensely on a totally different level.

You're totally right of course, once I was dressed and out the door she would have forgotten me, I know that.  I'm just a client.  But for me it wasn't that easy to disconnect and I was still thinking about her for a long time after.  Fortunately I've only seen her the once and now I shan't see her again because I know it couldn't go anywhere.  But it just goes to show what can hit you out of the blue when you're really not expecting it.  Admittedly I'm probably emotionally vulnerable at the moment so this won't apply to everyone

This takes me back to my first great punt. You will see her again and she will remember you. I think the longer you wait for the second visit the worse it will get. I left it 4 months until I made a second visit and in between that time I was thinking about her everyday. I thought the same as you, don't want to get emotionally attached to a WG and try to avoid seeing her and it doesn't work - it's mental torture! Who knows, this WG might be a excellent regular and great regulars are hard to find. Good Luck

Offline LL

Well fair point and true if it were an ideal world, but sometimes things aren't that simple.  Take my case - separated from my wife four years ago and no relationships or sex since.  I know it's unlikely now at my age I will ever get into another relationship and I thought that suited me and I thought I'd be ok with it.  But I live a fairly solitary life now and as years have gone by I've become more aware of my loneliness.  I started punting last week because I thought I wanted to fulfil a physical need.  Then had only my second punt the other day and Bam! there was an emotional connection too, which I wasn't looking for and hadn't expected.  Had great sex for 40 minutes but then also had a great cuddle and chat for 15 minutes after, which I enjoyed immensely on a totally different level.

You're totally right of course, once I was dressed and out the door she would have forgotten me, I know that.  I'm just a client.  But for me it wasn't that easy to disconnect and I was still thinking about her for a long time after.  Fortunately I've only seen her the once and now I shan't see her again because I know it couldn't go anywhere.  But it just goes to show what can hit you out of the blue when you're really not expecting it.  Admittedly I'm probably emotionally vulnerable at the moment so this won't apply to everyone

I'm not saying you should stop punting but it sounds to me like you need some companionship as well.  Punting will not stop you having feelings of loneliness - if anything it will make you feel more lonely - as you go through the cycle of emotional connection,  coming back to your senses, emotional disconnection.  You don't need to live a solitary life, whatever your age.  There are lots of lonely people out there of all ages.  Maybe you just need to find a good friend?

Why should I, a stranger on a forum, care about your situation?  Simply because if I ever found myself in the same situation I hope that there is a way out of it.

Offline GrumpyoldGit

I have had a long heart to heart and a fantastic punt with my regular "Zoe" today.
I had asked for a 1 hour meet to sort things out. I ended up spending 3 hours with her, but only paid for the hour.
I met here at an agreed location and drove to her place. On the way we lightly discussed the "challenges" that I had reference me having feelings for her.
We arrived and then realised that milk was required. Unusually for us, I paid up front as "Zoe" said that she was short of cash and also needed to top up the meter. No problems.
Walking to the shop more conversation and I found out how much she trusts and respects me.
Back to her place, a coffee whilst the bath is running and more chat along with cuddles and DFK.
A long bath together followed by the bed, a lot of talk and then lighter chat and fun.
The upshot of this is that we have now agreed a set boundary for where the VERY EXCELLENT GFE starts and finishes. Inside she is my girlfriend and wow do we have a great time. Out the door and she is just a mate, albeit a female one.
I have given her a couple of lifts as a mate and we only say "cheerio" when I drop her off. Before leaving her place a final hug and snog before we become mates again.
This has sorted out my head and I am very happy with this as I do not want to lose her. She is the very best punt that I have come across in the five odd years that I have been playing the field.
If anyone gets "fluffy" as I did, try and sit down and talk it out with her. It can only help.
It certainly has in my case and I have kept a fantastic date that I could "bump into" in civvie street and still chat to as a mate.

Offline ncarter

I don't know if I am lucky or just a cold hearted b@stard myself. Despite being single I only ever go into this for sex, yes I like a GFE and the intimacy, but for me once the clock stops and I leave it is all over. I have been back to see a small number of WG's over several occasions, one working in a parlour gave me her details as to when she worked once. I simply assumed that I was an easy client for her (gentle, considerate or someone she was happy to meet on a solely professional basis).

I have had meetings where I appeared to get on well with the WG's and yes I would be lying if I thought (in passing) that she might like me, but this was quickly dismissed by me as part of the service provided. Unlike some here I have nothing to loose really if I get 'found out' but at the end of the day the lingering thought in my head is that this is a fantasy and they are nice to me because I am paying for it nothing more, nothing less.

Offline smiths

I have had a long heart to heart and a fantastic punt with my regular "Zoe" today.
I had asked for a 1 hour meet to sort things out. I ended up spending 3 hours with her, but only paid for the hour.
I met here at an agreed location and drove to her place. On the way we lightly discussed the "challenges" that I had reference me having feelings for her.
We arrived and then realised that milk was required. Unusually for us, I paid up front as "Zoe" said that she was short of cash and also needed to top up the meter. No problems.
Walking to the shop more conversation and I found out how much she trusts and respects me.
Back to her place, a coffee whilst the bath is running and more chat along with cuddles and DFK.
A long bath together followed by the bed, a lot of talk and then lighter chat and fun.
The upshot of this is that we have now agreed a set boundary for where the VERY EXCELLENT GFE starts and finishes. Inside she is my girlfriend and wow do we have a great time. Out the door and she is just a mate, albeit a female one.
I have given her a couple of lifts as a mate and we only say "cheerio" when I drop her off. Before leaving her place a final hug and snog before we become mates again.
This has sorted out my head and I am very happy with this as I do not want to lose her. She is the very best punt that I have come across in the five odd years that I have been playing the field.
If anyone gets "fluffy" as I did, try and sit down and talk it out with her. It can only help.
It certainly has in my case and I have kept a fantastic date that I could "bump into" in civvie street and still chat to as a mate.

Interesting post, you come across as the opposite of your nick here. :thumbsup:

Offline GrumpyoldGit

I totally agree with you.
I am normally the same, but if you read my first entry on this I was in a very difficult time and let my heart rule my head.
The upshot of this though, is that I have found someone with whom I get on very well with and we both have respect for each other.
I always end up getting extra time with her and she does make contact with me by text out of the business environment.
It has taken a lot of soul searching, but we have finally agreed the boundaries and are both happy with this. :rolleyes:
Best of all though is that everything rolls naturally and there is no "mechanical" feel to the whole time.
Just been beaten to the post whilst writing this. LOL
« Last Edit: August 29, 2013, 05:31:55 PM by GrumpyoldGit »

Offline punk

I totally agree with you.
I am normally the same, but if you read my first entry on this I was in a very difficult time and let my heart rule my head.
The upshot of this though, is that I have found someone with whom I get on very well with and we both have respect for each other.
I always end up getting extra time with her and she does make contact with me by text out of the business environment.
It has taken a lot of soul searching, but we have finally agreed the boundaries and are both happy with this. :rolleyes:
Best of all though is that everything rolls naturally and there is no "mechanical" feel to the whole time.
Just been beaten to the post whilst writing this. LOL

well from what it is worth imo as long as you two are happy than carry on. :hi:


Offline sarahjayneleeds

  • Service Provider
  • Posts: 392
I totally agree with you.
I am normally the same, but if you read my first entry on this I was in a very difficult time and let my heart rule my head.
The upshot of this though, is that I have found someone with whom I get on very well with and we both have respect for each other.
I always end up getting extra time with her and she does make contact with me by text out of the business environment.
It has taken a lot of soul searching, but we have finally agreed the boundaries and are both happy with this. :rolleyes:
Best of all though is that everything rolls naturally and there is no "mechanical" feel to the whole time.
Just been beaten to the post whilst writing this. LOL

Grumpy you can be friends as well as client to wg. :) I'm guessing your a good bloke and a regular client to her so therefore a regular income.  I am also guessing you have told her more than you should about your personal life so the boundaries are already pushed on that score. Just so long as you are aware nothing will ever come of it I have clients who I class as friends  and love dearly but not in love thats the difference I  text them outside of work, would I want a relationship with them, or them me for that matter would we hell  :) you sound like you are falling for her it will only end badly the reason it's not mechanical is she is probably good at what she does.


Offline skipper121

« Last Edit: August 29, 2013, 10:29:38 PM by skipper121 »

Offline Ass-Bo

The ultimate questions you should ask your self is where do you expect these feelings to lead... friends (with benefits) then great i cannot see no punter disagreeing with that idea BUT to become a couple or even marry a pro$$ie is something i cant get my head around!! And the thought of that idea is just :dash:


I have a met a pro$$ie a while back who was engaged to her punter/boyfriend who was a kept man and while she sucked and got fucked by strangers even whilst wearing the engangment ring during the punt, the BF/Fiance would wait in a coffee shop across the road until the hour was up - For me I saw that guy as a lost soul to actually be waiting in coffee shop while his future wife to be was getting fucked everyway till sunday! I asked why she didnt pack it in and start a normal life?? Short answer THE MONEY WAS TO GOOD!

The wired thing is she denied about being engaged/married when i first asked about the ring in our first meeting and said she was single and the ring was family heirloom. But then on my 2nd and 3rd to her because she lives in a apartment block with a key access lift only and the 3 times i have visited she tells me she is sending the lift down and I had bumped into the same guy 3 times (to much for a coincidence), so on the 3rd visit i question her about the bloke and if it was her BF/husband which she finally decided to tell me when i told her i noticed the wiered amount of mens toiletries in the bathroom particularly a mens Gillete Mac Razor and blades :D


So unless your a guy that can finacially look after a her (sugardaddy) or be prepared to be a guy who is ok with the idea of your GF/fiance/wife getting paid to fuck strangers whist you are at work or that guy sitting in a coffee shop waiting for the hour to be up... :thumbsdown:


Offline skipper121

The ultimate questions you should ask your self is where do you expect these feelings to lead... friends (with benefits) then great i cannot see no punter disagreeing with that idea BUT to become a couple or even marry a pro$$ie is something i cant get my head around!! And the thought of that idea is just :dash:


I have a met a pro$$ie a while back who was engaged to her punter/boyfriend who was a kept man and while she sucked and got fucked by strangers even whilst wearing the engangment ring during the punt, the BF/Fiance would wait in a coffee shop across the road until the hour was up - For me I saw that guy as a lost soul to actually be waiting in coffee shop while his future wife to be was getting fucked everyway till sunday! I asked why she didnt pack it in and start a normal life?? Short answer THE MONEY WAS TO GOOD!

The wired thing is she denied about being engaged/married when i first asked about the ring in our first meeting and said she was single and the ring was family heirloom. But then on my 2nd and 3rd to her because she lives in a apartment block with a key access lift only and the 3 times i have visited she tells me she is sending the lift down and I had bumped into the same guy 3 times (to much for a coincidence), so on the 3rd visit i question her about the bloke and if it was her BF/husband which she finally decided to tell me when i told her i noticed the wiered amount of mens toiletries in the bathroom particularly a mens Gillete Mac Razor and blades :D


So unless your a guy that can finacially look after a her (sugardaddy) or be prepared to be a guy who is ok with the idea of your GF/fiance/wife getting paid to fuck strangers whist you are at work or that guy sitting in a coffee shop waiting for the hour to be up... :thumbsdown:

I know what you're saying but for her it is "just a job" - it's a physical act accompanied by some actual acting a la GFE.  She doesn't have the emotional connection with her clients that she has with her boyfriend/husband.  But sadly I suppose most men can't handle that

Offline punk

The ultimate questions you should ask your self is where do you expect these feelings to lead... friends (with benefits) then great i cannot see no punter disagreeing with that idea BUT to become a couple or even marry a pro$$ie is something i cant get my head around!! And the thought of that idea is just :dash:


I have a met a pro$$ie a while back who was engaged to her punter/boyfriend who was a kept man and while she sucked and got fucked by strangers even whilst wearing the engangment ring during the punt, the BF/Fiance would wait in a coffee shop across the road until the hour was up - For me I saw that guy as a lost soul to actually be waiting in coffee shop while his future wife to be was getting fucked everyway till sunday! I asked why she didnt pack it in and start a normal life?? Short answer THE MONEY WAS TO GOOD!

The wired thing is she denied about being engaged/married when i first asked about the ring in our first meeting and said she was single and the ring was family heirloom. But then on my 2nd and 3rd to her because she lives in a apartment block with a key access lift only and the 3 times i have visited she tells me she is sending the lift down and I had bumped into the same guy 3 times (to much for a coincidence), so on the 3rd visit i question her about the bloke and if it was her BF/husband which she finally decided to tell me when i told her i noticed the wiered amount of mens toiletries in the bathroom particularly a mens Gillete Mac Razor and blades :D


So unless your a guy that can finacially look after a her (sugardaddy) or be prepared to be a guy who is ok with the idea of your GF/fiance/wife getting paid to fuck strangers whist you are at work or that guy sitting in a coffee shop waiting for the hour to be up... :thumbsdown:

  that guy must be a right twit fancy letting your girl get fuck by other guys, cant love her. :hi:

Offline Ass-Bo

I know what you're saying but for her it is "just a job" - it's a physical act accompanied by some actual acting a la GFE.  She doesn't have the emotional connection with her clients that she has with her boyfriend/husband.  But sadly I suppose most men can't handle that

As most men are on here would you be ok with your GF/fiance/wife being a pr0$$ie??

I for one would not!!

Offline skipper121

As most men are on here would you be ok with your GF/fiance/wife being a pr0$$ie??

I for one would not!!

At my age I think I'm pragmatic enough to accept that it is just a job and would mean nothing in comparison with the feelings within a stable relationship - or do you think that WGs can't have those?  But you're right most men wouldn't be able to handle it just as their wives/GFs wouldn't be ok if they knew their partner's had visited Escorts.  Most people of either sex would naturally have difficulty separating the physical act from the emotional side.  The point I'm trying to make is that when a WG sees a client it's business, not personal, no matter how convincing an act she puts on.  She's just catering to a physical need - to put it blunlty she's milking the cow.  A proper relationship is so much more

To answer your question skipper, I don't doubt that some WGs are perfectly capably of having a stable relationship.  Two friends of mine got married last year: she'd been a WG and he, like me,  had been one of her regular clients.  As soon as they decided to make a go of things together [about 5 years earlier], she retired. 

Mind you, your question also makes me wonder whether those WGs who can handle a stable relationship would want one with a bloke who had the emotional needs & "baggage" many of us have!
« Last Edit: August 30, 2013, 07:49:10 AM by Rochdull lad »

Offline GrumpyoldGit

Grumpy you can be friends as well as client to wg. :) I'm guessing your a good bloke and a regular client to her so therefore a regular income.  I am also guessing you have told her more than you should about your personal life so the boundaries are already pushed on that score. Just so long as you are aware nothing will ever come of it I have clients who I class as friends  and love dearly but not in love thats the difference I  text them outside of work, would I want a relationship with them, or them me for that matter would we hell  :) you sound like you are falling for her it will only end badly the reason it's not mechanical is she is probably good at what she does.
Yes I am fully aware that this "relationship" is going no further than it has already.
And yes I have spoken too much about my personal life, but then so has she. We seem to have built up a trust and respect for each other.
This is why I went for the "heart to heart" with her, thinking I may have to end it. However things have turned out better than I expected.
Yes I have become very fond of her, but I will not "fall" for her as I nearly did. Or at least I will do my utmost not to.
As for not being mechanical, yes she is good, but also spending more than 3 times the booked time with me does say something does it not?
I am just grateful that I have found someone like her during my dark times.

Yes I am fully aware that this "relationship" is going no further than it has already.
And yes I have spoken too much about my personal life, but then so has she. We seem to have built up a trust and respect for each other.
This is why I went for the "heart to heart" with her, thinking I may have to end it. However things have turned out better than I expected.
Yes I have become very fond of her, but I will not "fall" for her as I nearly did. Or at least I will do my utmost not to.
As for not being mechanical, yes she is good, but also spending more than 3 times the booked time with me does say something does it not?
I am just grateful that I have found someone like her during my dark times.

Good for you, GoG.  I'm glad you seem to have got your head round the situation.

[Isn't that a great thing about Forums like this?  We can be pleased for people - I'm thinking about NIK's thread on Off-topic about abstaining from gambling, as well - and we haven't a bloody clue who they are!]

Your words in the last 24 hours have been an inspiration to me and an indication of the way I need to go with my "blurred boundaries".

Offline GrumpyoldGit

Thank you for the kind words Rochdull Lad.
Thanks also to everyone else for the advice.
I hope my situation will help others in the future.

Offline ncarter

I think it is the anonymous nature of this website that actually helps everyone open up more than they would to non-cyberspace friends. We don't know each other hence so we can talk about subjects that are too embarrassing to talk to our 'real friends' about and in a way we probably know more about people on here than their 'real friends' or even partners.

Theoretically it could well be that people on here with opposing views are best friends in real life?

True, nc; and that's why I used to refer to the advice I received in my fledgeling days as a punter [in 2004/05] from members of the auto-censored Forum in Manchester as coming from "the mates I've never met".

Offline hornylad

I am pleased you have found peace Grumpy and have a solution that works for you both.

My own position is still a mess and I feel so conflicted. The WG I have been seeing off the clock shocked me last time we met. She told me she was prepared to give up escorting completely if I wanted her to.

I don't know what to do. I have had to admit to myself that my feelings run deeper for her than I wanted to believe. But can I have a normal relationship with her? I don't know. I know this is very unfair to her but could I trust her? Would she eventually miss the sex with other men? Would she begin to miss the money? Would she trust me based on how we met? Am I just setting myself up for a lot of heartache in the future pursuing a relationship that was doomed from the start.

Jesus - I sound fluffy, I have never experienced anything like this before. I know on this forum I am going to get ripped apart  :dash:

This is completely fucking with my head.

Offline skipper121

I am pleased you have found peace Grumpy and have a solution that works for you both.

My own position is still a mess and I feel so conflicted. The WG I have been seeing off the clock shocked me last time we met. She told me she was prepared to give up escorting completely if I wanted her to.

I don't know what to do. I have had to admit to myself that my feelings run deeper for her than I wanted to believe. But can I have a normal relationship with her? I don't know. I know this is very unfair to her but could I trust her? Would she eventually miss the sex with other men? Would she begin to miss the money? Would she trust me based on how we met? Am I just setting myself up for a lot of heartache in the future pursuing a relationship that was doomed from the start.

Jesus - I sound fluffy, I have never experienced anything like this before. I know on this forum I am going to get ripped apart  :dash:

This is completely fucking with my head.

It's a tricky situation but truth is I think you need input from the woman's side rather than the punters.  Give more credence to the WG's replies that you receive I suppose is what I'm saying.  At the end of the day she's a woman and she's obviously very attracted to you.  Do you really think the attraction of escorting is going to outweigh that attraction?  Bottom line is escorting was just a job for her


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