Ever caused yourself an injury while punting??

[redtill]

yeah.......Ever caused yourself an injury while punting

Only reason I ask is because I managed to put me back out & gain a fucking
big lump on me swede accompanied by a nice little gash.I'll set the scene....
We're both on the bed & i've put a couple of pillows under her ass so that it's
pointing straight up so I can behave like a porn star .Anyway I'm banging away
& things are getting some what hetic & b4 u know I've lost balance ended up going arse over tit
(so to speak)off the bed & whack me head into the cabinet...resulting in the above injuries.
While still on the floor i can see/hear WG laughing her tits off....must admit,it
was funny as fuck & we had a good chuckle about it.Did I manage to finish the
punt off???? dam right I did.....just meant I had to lay on me back for the rest f the punt
So what have u managed fuck up while on the job

[milo]

Here are links to a couple of similar threats that might keep you entertained while waiting for more replies.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=13605.0

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=28452.0

[nigel4498]

Strained wallet 

[Dipper]

Had the old slip out and bang bell end on bed mishap.



Dread the banjo giving up the ghost on me mid punt. 

[Candyh78]

Smacked my forehead on the door when I came at a gloryhole.

[notcalledchris]

Bruised lip from overly vigorous dfk

[threechilliman]

Bruised cock from an overly vigorous BJ.

[Dipper]

Bruised cock from an overly vigorous BJ.

Always a pet hate of mine. Why do some insist on the rough stuff. No need.

Easy does it 

[redtill]

Here are links to a couple of similar threats that might keep you entertained while waiting for more replies.

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=13605.0

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=28452.0

just had a gander & can't stop laughing.....I think I've been rather fortunate that's all that's happened to me
A funny one was when instead of snowballing,the WG coughed and I end up with my cum all over me boat race
Think I was stunned for a few seconds & then realized it was funny as fuck.Best of all the lovely lady kindly licked it all off 

[Billy no mates]

So nearly the worse ever injury....

Last week I saw Maddie, reviewed here https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=157573.0

As I turned off the A40 to head towards Oxford early Monday morning, as I started to brake on the off-slip, I discovered the brake pedal was rock hard (no movement) and very little braking effort. I was travelling at over 60mph and heading towards the back end of a HGV waiting at the roundabout. I yanked on the park brake and managed to stop the car. I worked on cars in a past life, so I knew that there was a problem with the servo, I also knew I still wanted the punt.
So I drove carefully the rest of the way (20-30 mph on dual carraigeways and plenty of space to the vehicle in front).

Cost.....£550 

Factor that cost into the punt and it was an expesnive day

[Happylad]

I`ve done my back in a couple of times - on one of them the girl had to help me back to my car - but nothing the Physio couldn`t fix in time for the next punt. Just a normal hazard of punting at my age.

[con-a-ser]

cut leg when slipped in shower in TWL

[The Owl]

Not an injury but could have been. I was on the bed with an escort when I decided to grab a drink in between pops. I got off the bed without looking and promptly stood on a randomly dropped high heel. I lost my balance and crashed to the floors, missing her chest of drawers. I still remember picking myself up, holding the offending high heel so I could show her I hadn't broken it. The poor escort looked horrified at what had happened (shoes cost money  ) whilst I was laughing at what a clumsy bastard I was.

[dboy74]

Received a glancing blow to the head from a high heel while the WG moved into 69 position. Thankfully I avoided it in the eye!

[The Outsider]

Does a broken heart count?   

[Happylad]

Does a broken heart count?   

That`s not an injury, it`s a self inflicted punishment

[The Outsider]

That`s not an injury, it`s a self inflicted punishment

  Fair point! 

[MoonMan]

My wallet seems to take the biggest kicking...

[Megaman83]

Fucked my back up getting out of the car just before a punt. Had a former nurse fix it a week later during a warm up massage

[scutty brown]

Not punting......but a story that happened to a mate of mine named Andy.
We were at the rugby club after a game, he'd picked up a bird and they'd gone outside for a snog. We didn't see them again until closing time when we all went outside.
They were lying in the carpark under Andy's Triumph Bonneville with matching broken legs.
They'd gone for a quick shag, she with her back on the tank, head on the speedo, ass on the seat. He was on top and had been thrusting so hard he rocked the bike off the centre stand. Bike fell sideways and each broke a leg as they tried to stop it. His left, her right.
When we found them they were trapped with the broken legs under the bike, naked from the waist down.
We lifted the bike off with a fair bit of difficulty - mainly because we were drunk and pissing ourselves laughing. Even the ambulance crew were laughing when they arrived. Took him a long time to live that down.

[anonyorks]

Strained wallet 

I clicked on this thread to post that joke 

[scutty brown]

Another story from the rugby club.......I mentioned this one recently on UKE so apologies if you've already seen it.
A friend called Barry. After a game he had a pulled leg muscle so used some kind of embrocation. Could have been Deep Heat,  but memory suggests it was Fiery Jack - a cream which contained capsaicin (from chilli peppers).
After a few beers, Barry and Rose went home and started shagging. Somehow the embrocation got transferred from his leg to the condom. Barry said he was shagging away when Rose suddenly screamed, and threw him off backwards in a summersault so violently his head hit the bedroom wall, knocking him out (he was a prop forward so well used to head blows). When he came to, she was on her back in the bath, cold tap inserted into her cunt with the water at full flow. She was making whimpering noises and incapable of talking for over 30 minutes.

They got married soon after...

[mrpeterman]

Tore my meniscus (cartilage behind knee) in a vigorous doggie session, I knew it as well as the pain was fucking horrible, had to stop compose myself, lie down get sucked off before being helped to dress and hobble away.

Luckily I had my gym kit in boot of car, drove home painfully and explained fucked my knee at gym, sometime late had a fucking huge needle inserted into my kneecap to withdraw fluid and then have knee washed out and remember replaying the punt In my mind to get me through it

[redtill]

Another story from the rugby club.......I mentioned this one recently on UKE so apologies if you've already seen it.
A friend called Barry. After a game he had a pulled leg muscle so used some kind of embrocation. Could have been Deep Heat,  but memory suggests it was Fiery Jack - a cream which contained capsaicin (from chilli peppers).
After a few beers, Barry and Rose went home and started shagging. Somehow the embrocation got transferred from his leg to the condom. Barry said he was shagging away when Rose suddenly screamed, and threw him off backwards in a summersault so violently his head hit the bedroom wall, knocking him out (he was a prop forward so well used to head blows). When he came to, she was on her back in the bath, cold tap inserted into her cunt with the water at full flow. She was making whimpering noises and incapable of talking for over 30 minutes.

They got married soon after...

Brilliant  ...........the strained wallet may become applicable.....off to see the much talked about Ms Brooks 2mora & she;s only 1/2 away

[geordieman]

Twice I have had a girl draw blood due to a toothy owo.  Might be my age as I'm 63.  Am I the only guy who has experienced this?

[Happylad]

Twice I have had a girl draw blood due to a toothy owo.  Might be my age as I'm 63.  Am I the only guy who has experienced this?

Are you sure that they weren`t from New Guinea or thereabouts

[scutty brown]

Are you sure that they weren`t from New Guinea or thereabouts

Brings a new meaning to head hunting

[mrdiamond77]

Reinjured my ankle, which I had done days before playing football, when walking up the stairs to the WG's bedroom when I visited an oriental parlour many years ago.  Carried on with the punt but was sore after.

[redveee]

Strained my ankle coming down the stairs in an Amsterdam WGs flat, the stairs were near vertical and more akin to a ladder. The view going up was good as I followed her up.

[4kingace]

Me and my best mate went whoring in London last year staying over in a Travelodge for a night.
At lunchtime he saw an agency girl for an hour, a bit later after a few pints in Soho did a walk up.
Finally we were walking through China Town when we both got hustled by the Chinese girl scam.
But both being pissed we went for it.
Basically it was a hand job, and for my mate a quite brutal one.
When we got back to the Travelodge we inspected the damage that 3 cum loads had caused, his cock had burst a blood vessel and was as black as the ace of spades!

[Punter121212]

1) Ive had a bruised cock from a foot job (fuck knows how that happened ...... but it was worth it).

2) I buggered my back up 'prone boning' a girl (had to sit on the wall outside the building for about 40 minutes until I could walk again ...... but it was worth it).

3) And last one was less of an injury and more of a precaution against an injury, this girl was riding me (cowgirl) and going the full length of my shaft, as she was coming down she was really going for it and slamming down, whilst it was feeling good, because she was going the full length I had a vision of me slipping out just as she was slamming down and me sustaining an injury as a result (snapped cock ....fuck that). 

So I flipped her over and finished in mish! 

[azrael]

Blue balls, lovely polish wg i met a while ago. Fucked me non stop for 90 mins and most of that was in the cow girl position, she just went crackers wooldnt stop bouncing up and down.

[bearcat69]

I get cramp in my legs and back strain quite a lot... It's something that I often get from doing doggy. I have quite short legs and a long back so it means that with girls with long legs (which tends to be most WG's) if they don't position themselves with their legs open wide enough and with getting themselves down low enough the position can be very uncomfortable for me and put a lot of strain on my back and lower legs. Don't get me wrong, when doggy is good I really enjoy the position, but so many girls position themselves in too awkward a position for me to get into them comfortably so it's a bit of a pet hate for me in the land of punt. With all the game playing a lot of them do too I get tired of having to direct them, so it's a big part of the reason I often avoid the position.

[DDDave]

Doing oral with girls legs crossed on my back. She did come but in doing so straightnend her legs, this rotated my head backwards to the point that i ended up with neck pain for 3 weeks.

[Bob26]

Had my tongue bitten during a full on and aggressive session of DFK. Blood everywhere. Took ages to stop and quite a while to heal properly 

Got tested a few weeks later and all okay 

[mrpeterman]

Many years ago on a boys holiday me and mate pulled two birds took em back and was fucking side by side, when all of a sudden he gets up screaming, he had ripped tirn his forskin, very painful apparently,,anyway I offered to finish the other girl off ( great mate I know, sadly was turned down) as he went off to hospital..very funny for two reasons

1. It didn't happen to me
2. The girls response to him flying up and screaming she probably thought strange way to cum

I know it's not a punting per say story but funny anyway

[redtill]

Strained my ankle coming down the stairs in an Amsterdam WGs flat, the stairs were near vertical and more akin to a ladder. The view going up was good as I followed her up.

I know what you mean about the stairs......been the dam many a time & try them stairs after a few tokes of dams finest
Must be hundreds who go ass over tit down them stairs ....they're fucking lethal

[candec]

Yes my back went after a Chinese massage in South Quay. She had a mattress on the floor, no bed or massage table. It took me about 20 minutes to get my socks back on and another 20 to shuffle back to the DLR station.

[Horizontal pleasures]

long ago before internet forums, entangled with a lady doing doggy on the edge of a bed and fell off backwards but as I was gripping onto her she then overbalanced falling off the bed onto me, no real injury, just laughter and disbelief, landed on my own heap of winter clothes so the only damage was looking silly. The bed was quite low. We both had a good laugh. I cannot now recall how we finished off the punt.

[lewisjones23]

long ago before internet forums, entangled with a lady doing doggy on the edge of a bed and fell off backwards but as I was gripping onto her she then overbalanced falling off the bed onto me, no real injury, just laughter and disbelief, landed on my own heap of winter clothes so the only damage was looking silly. The bed was quite low. We both had a good laugh. I cannot now recall how we finished off the punt.

if she was anything like the pigs that you book now then it was a miracle that it wasnt life threatening

[Lancastrian1]

Tore my meniscus (cartilage behind knee) in a vigorous doggie session, I knew it as well as the pain was fucking horrible, had to stop compose myself, lie down get sucked off before being helped to dress and hobble away.

Luckily I had my gym kit in boot of car, drove home painfully and explained fucked my knee at gym, sometime late had a fucking huge needle inserted into my kneecap to withdraw fluid and then have knee washed out and remember replaying the punt In my mind to get me through it

I did my knee in too last year. Struggled to walk after the punt and struggled to drive home. Next day I went to a+e and I was asked how the injury was caused, I didn't know what to say. Ha. It took me months to recover properly.

[Peter Pan]

yeah.......Ever caused yourself an injury while punting

Only reason I ask is because I managed to put me back out & gain a fucking
big lump on me swede accompanied by a nice little gash.I'll set the scene....
We're both on the bed & i've put a couple of pillows under her ass so that it's
pointing straight up so I can behave like a porn star .Anyway I'm banging away
& things are getting some what hetic & b4 u know I've lost balance ended up going arse over tit
(so to speak)off the bed & whack me head into the cabinet...resulting in the above injuries.
While still on the floor i can see/hear WG laughing her tits off....must admit,it
was funny as fuck & we had a good chuckle about it.Did I manage to finish the
punt off???? dam right I did.....just meant I had to lay on me back for the rest f the punt
So what have u managed fuck up while on the job

Yes I pulled my diaphragm while this lady was riding me

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[Lalalaveets]

I broke by dick (bruised) in a pussy. A vein popped out but it later healed.

I pounded her hard. Tarzan style

[Acerimmer]

2 back related injuries, both from being ridden hard cowgirl, on on a rug by a fire and one on the lawn in the back garden, I was out of action for months with both.

Had a near cock pulling incident when the WG fell off the bed and went to grab the nearest appendage, fortunately her grip was weak.

[thor555]

During a massage, after a lot of running during the week and a failure to do post run stretches. On my second  coming pulled my calf muscle, screamed (well manly argggg) scared the crap out of the masseuse! First time in her experience. Was a pain, got over over it no doubt i did not pop the second time.   

[Littlefoot]

Couple of weeks ago I was on a punt in a house. I left my shoes by the front door and followed the girl upstairs. Had a decent punt, then shower, dress and make my way back down stairs in my socks, with the girl right behind me. All of a sudden both my feet slip like I'm on a skating rink, completely out of control. I go fuckin flying, straight on my back, and slide down half the stairs on my back. The girl was very concerned has she saw it and must of looked a bit scary. I was pretty shaken up, but didn't show it. Got outside and the full length of my lower arm was cut and bleeding, and of course I got a badly bruised arse. But my ego was bruised more! 

[mrpeterman]

Your lucky to have not broke your coxic

[Tompunt1]

Not quite through sex, but I once got a friction burn on the end of my knob from a metal shower hose. Yow, that hurt.

[notcalledchris]

Not quite through sex, but I once got a friction burn on the end of my knob from a metal shower hose. Yow, that hurt.

Pervert

[Mr_Shins]

given what I get up to in my punts, I have been given quite a few...

however some of the women with bad technique have caused themselves bad injuries. I have started warning them.