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Author Topic: What Services could you manage without?  (Read 3143 times)

I don't want to hi-jack smiths' recent thread on What Services Are Essential To You? https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=15562.0 , so I thought I'd start this one to see what Services are offered really piss you off.

My real bugbear is when a girl [usually one who's started working in Parlours but has "gone independent"] betrays her origins by insisting on starting, or trying to start, your session by massaging you.  When I started seeing Indies, it was a real pleasure not to have the first five minutes "wasted" in a massage, which is what I'd been used to in Parlours.

Offline overhead

I think idle chat and deliberate time wasting come pretty high up the list. I like talking to WG's and exchanging a few yarns, but sometimes they seem to do that to minimise the amount of action.

I had an occasion early on when I'd not long disrobed when her phone went off. It was obviously quite an important call, so I was patient. But then two more very important calls followed in quick succession taking up about a quarter of an hour in total. There's was me thinking oh well, she'll just add the time on. Big mistake! I was ushered out on time and I wandered off down the road still stunned.

Not all girls are like that, but the thing is you can never tell. Even the ones who seem really nice can be very mercenary when it suits them. I tend to avoid the really good lookers because they are usually the worst in every respect.

I find massage a bit of a time waste too (I don't mean foreplay), unless it's after the sex. It's very relaxing then, but also very rare. Most girls would rather get you packed up and away even if you're running 20 mins ahead of time. I've had a couple of occasions when I've been trying to get my clothes back whilst still recovering from the big event.

Offline denneboom

Rimming. Awful. Why would you want a WG to do that. Sick.

DFK. WTF. I like french kissing girls if they are comfortable it, if they aren't I wont bother. Sticking my tongue down a girls throat for a dental examination however I will never understand what the turn on is.


Offline smiths

I don't want to hi-jack smiths' recent thread on What Services Are Essential To You? https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=15562.0 , so I thought I'd start this one to see what Services are offered really piss you off.

My real bugbear is when a girl [usually one who's started working in Parlours but has "gone independent"] betrays her origins by insisting on starting, or trying to start, your session by massaging you.  When I started seeing Indies, it was a real pleasure not to have the first five minutes "wasted" in a massage, which is what I'd been used to in Parlours.

Yes massaging at the start is usually always a timewasting tactic in my experience. I neither asked for one when i booked and often its not mentioned in a WGs advertising she offers one. If i wanted a massage i would have specifically booked one.

Better nowadays is the dreaded one cum and your out rule that some EE WGs used to have. Again it was never mentioned on the phone or in their advertising, the first i knew about it was 20 minutes into an hours punt when i had cum a WG would say thats it. Absolutely outrageous, not experienced it for a long time thankfully and i always check its unlimited cum, my shortest punt length is an hour so one cum isnt enough in that time for me.

In Parlours/Group Flats and sometimes with Indies where they are clockwatching intent on cutting the time i have paid for short, presumably as they hope to squeeze the next punter in. In Parlours i remember the knock on the door by the maid which was the five minute left warning as early as half way through an hours punt, fucking annoying. What that actually achieved was me taking longer to cum, so the opposite of its intention.

Also WGs saying things like "you ready to come hun", "you need to come babe", and "you have two minutes to cum", all designed to get me out the door asap, but again all have the opposite effect.

Cold and/or Miserable WGs who make the grand total of no effort at all, especially those that make an effort until the point i had paid them, then the coldness and miserable reality appears.

Offline pokenn

There are two that annoy me.

One is chatting, especially at the beginning. When I started punting I used to wait for the girl to make the first move or suggest the move to the bedroom. Now, I've learned it's best to make the first move myself.

The other one, and this drives me up the wall, is using their hand to wank me when they are supposed to be doing a blow job. If I want a wank I can do it myself. I once gave a girl a negative review mainly because of this bad habit.

Offline jackdaw

I can "manage" without most services as long as the ones that are provided are performed with skill and enthusiasm (any prossie that can fake that convincingly is a long way towards pleasing me.)

Today, for example, had a hour punt that went something like chat, quick cuppa, snog, hand job, long assisted shower, followed by a good 10 minute massage. I thoroughly enjoyed it... in spite of the absence of several things I'm usually dead keen on... because WG was very good looking, good company, and very skilful in the things she did.


Offline Strawberry

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The comments about 'massage' always surprise me because a proper massage is actually hard work, plus it's something I think should only really be offered by someone who's been properly trained. I shy away from it but do get the odd client requesting this, I'm never quite sure if it's something they really do like, or whether it's something they're used to expecting.

Offline overhead

Rimming. Awful. Why would you want a WG to do that. Sick.

Oh yes. There's a whole list of stuff like that I find incomprehensible. I don't even want to think about them let alone mention.

Offline jackdaw

The comments about 'massage' always surprise me because a proper massage is actually hard work, plus it's something I think should only really be offered by someone who's been properly trained. I shy away from it but do get the odd client requesting this, I'm never quite sure if it's something they really do like, or whether it's something they're used to expecting.

Yes... a proper massage is hard work... but that's not what's on offer in many instances. I agree with the other guys that its often a bad thing if a massage is the first thing offered.... and I do like massages.

Offline aardvark

Rimming. Awful. Why would you want a WG to do that. Sick.

Don't knock it 'til you've tried it ...............

Offline NIK

Rimming. Awful. Why would you want a WG to do that. Sick.

DFK. WTF. I like french kissing girls if they are comfortable it, if they aren't I wont bother. Sticking my tongue down a girls throat for a dental examination however I will never understand what the turn on is.

This illustrates how different we all are. I love it both ways.
Conversely I've heard of clients who like to have needles shoved down their cocks which makes me shudder just to think about it!  :scare: Then there are adult babies and men who like to be feminised.  :crazy: :unknown:  :wacko:

On a more conventional level I'm greedy. I like or will try most things, so there's nothing much I could do without. Perhaps the only thing I'm not really bothered about is clothing, uniforms etc generally do little for me I usually prefer them naked. Although it could depend on the circumstances.

Offline akauya

This illustrates how different we all are. I love it both ways.
Conversely I've heard of clients who like to have needles shoved down their cocks which makes me shudder just to think about it!  :scare: Then there are adult babies and men who like to be feminised.  :crazy: :unknown:  :wacko:


not only needles, apparently some men like women's little fingers shoved down their urethra too  :scare: :scare: :scare:

I'm just too fucking vanilla for all that shit

Offline potato

Massage is a waste of time at the start of a session but, on a longer 2-3 hour one, it keeps her busy and gives some much needed recovery time - reverse massage as well qualifies.

Offline NightKid

not only needles, apparently some men like women's little fingers shoved down their urethra too  :scare: :scare: :scare:

I'm just too fucking vanilla for all that shit

Being vanilla aside, how the hell do you survive something like that?! Aren't you effectively splitting your penis in half without anaesthetic by doing so?  :scare:

On needles in urethra though, I've heard it is used to treat certain medical conditions so some may like the sensation. Personally, the discomfort of it all still stands  :vomit:

Offline NIK

not only needles, apparently some men like women's little fingers shoved down their urethra too  :scare: :scare: :scare:

I'm just too fucking vanilla for all that shit

Fuck! Just the thought of it makes me cross my legs!  :scare:

Offline Melb

Faking orgasm
Moaning
Insincere epithets
Asking for money
Talking

not only needles, apparently some men like women's little fingers shoved down their urethra too  :scare: :scare: :scare:

I'm just too fucking vanilla for all that shit

Watched guys shove screwdrivers, lit matches, scalpels, razor blades down their japs eye

Offline akauya

Watched guys shove screwdrivers, lit matches, scalpels, razor blades down their japs eye

Don't want to hijack RL's thread so started a new one on Off topic ;)

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=15570.0

Sorry RL

Offline Lz-129


Also WGs saying things like "you ready to come hun", "you need to come babe", and "you have two minutes to cum", all designed to get me out the door asap, but again all have the opposite effect.


Happened to me once and it pissed me off, it also turned out to be my worst punt too
I'd only been there 5 mins when she started that shit

Offline NIK

Happened to me once and it pissed me off, it also turned out to be my worst punt too
I'd only been there 5 mins when she started that shit
Totally agree. They have the same effect on me as it ruins the illusion. Totally unprofessional in  my opinion. Yet so many of them say these things. :mad:

... guys shove screwdrivers, lit matches, scalpels, razor blades down their japs eye

Don't want to hijack RL's thread so started a new one on Off topic ;)

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=15570.0

Sorry RL

No worries, akauya; must confess practices like those never crossed my mind when I posted the OP. :scare:

Offline SteveNova

Rimming. Awful. Why would you want a WG to do that. Sick.

DFK. WTF. I like french kissing girls if they are comfortable it, if they aren't I wont bother. Sticking my tongue down a girls throat for a dental examination however I will never understand what the turn on is.
I tried receiving rimming once and it was a unique feeling which I really enjoyed.  I can do without a wet wipe - I would rather have it licked and sucked completely dry, then I jump in the shower anyway  :thumbsup:

Offline Kingb3000

Main bugbear is getting there girl taking the money and then it being 5+ mins before they come back.   Mind you thats mostly massage parlours.

Also now Im getting older.  The massage is best done in the middle.  Helps with the try and pop twice + etc :D

Maybe I just need to get in shape  :(

Ps never would have asked for rimming but it got offered once and....... yeah great experience different to what would expect.  Is a def bonus if can get.


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