Well, I took a gamble and it paid off. Kinda.

[Sailormack]

Well I've hired a cleaner, arranged to get a manicure on Monday, haircut on Tuesday, spray tan on Wednesday, ball wax on Thursday and a legit massage on Friday.

If I don't get laid then I will have to accept I'm an fugly cunt 

[Blyton90]

I read it as she did not want to put her business at risk and would maybe more likely to pull the trigger away from her business.

Then of course, you have a wife at home.

That's your first mistake 

I think she's wanting to pull the trigger regardless of where we are. Her reluctance boils down to the fact she has never done anything like this before and knows I'm married and probably doesn't want it to lead to somewhere it can't go. ie a full blown relationship.

[Blyton90]

Well I've hired a cleaner, arranged to get a manicure on Monday, haircut on Tuesday, spray tan on Wednesday, ball wax on Thursday and a legit massage on Friday.

If I don't get laid then I will have to accept I'm an fugly cunt 

Judging by your avatar, I hate to break it to you pal but you look a bit like Popeye. 

[Steely Dan]

None of this sounds real to me.  Not just fluffy, but fantasy, made-up, Jackie Collins fluffy.

If true, then you are pulling a bird. Big Yawn. If she is a sex worker, then this is not hard.  If she is not a sex worker, and you are not going to get sex in exchange for money, then this has nothing to do with punting and you can take this thread to UKPickupartist.com.

Either way, can you post her number (and maybe a face pic?) so we can find out if any of the UKP boys have already fucked her?

[Blyton90]

None of this sounds real to me.  Not just fluffy, but fantasy, made-up, Jackie Collins fluffy.

If true, then you are pulling a bird. Big Yawn. If she is a sex worker, then this is not hard.  If she is not a sex worker, and you are not going to get sex in exchange for money, then this has nothing to do with punting and you can take this thread to UKPickupartist.com.

Either way, can you post her number (and maybe a face pic?) so we can find out if any of the UKP boys have already fucked her?

Well it's real mate. I had my doubters the first time I posted here and I proved them all wrong. But I'm not here to prove anything. Just share an experience. If you don't like what you read, move on and no harm caused.

[monstar]

If you don't get it on Monday then I think she is leading you on for repeat business. All hot via text but cold in real life with convenient excuses.

Good luck with your happy ending 

[Sailormack]

Judging by your avatar, I hate to break it to you pal but you look a bit like Popeye.

And that's me scrubbed up 

[Blyton90]

If you don't get it on Monday then I think she is leading you on for repeat business. All hot via text but cold in real life with convenient excuses.

Good luck with your happy ending 

Possible. But if so she is bloody good at it. So fair play to her. Time will tell.

[sparkus]

None of this sounds real to me.  Not just fluffy, but fantasy, made-up, Jackie Collins fluffy.

If true, then you are pulling a bird. Big Yawn. If she is a sex worker, then this is not hard.  If she is not a sex worker, and you are not going to get sex in exchange for money, then this has nothing to do with punting and you can take this thread to UKPickupartist.com.

Either way, can you post her number (and maybe a face pic?) so we can find out if any of the UKP boys have already fucked her?

I've seen young gun PUAs in action in central London.  Waltzing up to oriental hotties, being indulged for two minutes and then leaving empty-handed, saying to the rest that she wasn't that hot anyway.

Seriously, why bother? 

[Steely Dan]

Well it's real mate. I had my doubters the first time I posted here and I proved them all wrong. But I'm not here to prove anything. Just share an experience. If you don't like what you read, move on and no harm caused.

It is real you will pay her to fuck you, or real you have pulled a civvie?  If you are not sharing an experience with a prostitute, then post on a site that gives a shit.

And if she is a prostitute, please post her contact details.

[Blyton90]

It is real you will pay her to fuck you, or real you have pulled a civvie?  If you are not sharing an experience with a prostitute, then post on a site that gives a shit.

And if she is a prostitute, please post her contact details.

People do give a fuck. Clearly.  If you don't then go away. If this post isn't wanted here then the mods will delete it. 

[catweazle]

People do give a fuck. Clearly.  If you don't then go away. If this post isn't wanted here then the mods will delete it.

No, we only give a fuck cos you're talking crap and cluttering up the forum with your fantastist drivel.

[sensualencounter]

I'd stick to writing about Timmy the Dog and Noddy and all that - more believable and probably more relevant Blyton

[Blyton90]

You guys take this place far too seriously.  Christ, if you don't like what you read then move on. Judging by the PM's and response by some on here quite a few people want to hear about this so until the admins/mods decide they feel the need to ban me, I'll keep posting. 

[Blyton90]

I'd stick to writing about Timmy the Dog and Noddy and all that - more believable and probably more relevant Blyton

You a bit envious pal?

[Blyton90]

No, we only give a fuck cos you're talking crap and cluttering up the forum with your fantastist drivel.

Who's we? Sorry, I didn't realise you spoke for everyone. I'll stop posting, just for you. 

[Thecunninglinguist]

I wonder if the OP has a Polish cleaner he is also intent on shagging?

[Blyton90]

I wonder if the OP has a Polish cleaner he is also intent on shagging?

You know, just because this situation would never happen in your life, doesn't mean it's bollocks and made up. Those of you who are calling bullshit are just pissed off cos it's not happening to you. Don't be bitter boys. 

[Delfrommem]

You know, just because this situation would never happen in your life, doesn't mean it's bollocks and made up. Those of you who are calling bullshit are just pissed off cos it's not happening to you. Don't be bitter boys.

Yes.

We are all really bitter that fuck all is happening for you with this girl because you haven't got the balls to do anything about it.

And should anything happen we really envy your ability to have arranged paid sex, you genius.

 

[Blyton90]

Yes.

We are all really bitter that fuck all is happening for you with this girl because you haven't got the balls to do anything about it.

And should anything happen we really envy your ability to have arranged paid sex, you genius.

 

Guess again pal.

[sensualencounter]

I'm not envious at all and I'm not your pal. I've pulled plenty before, it's not a claim to fame. But good luck and all that. Maybe you should let us know her details and we'll see who's already paid to fuck her?

[catweazle]

Who's we? Sorry, I didn't realise you spoke for everyone. I'll stop posting, just for you. 

"We" as in "We, the people".


(and you didn't carry through on your statement to stop posting)

[Delfrommem]

Guess again pal.

Oh I see - it's because you've got enough pocket money to complete your collection of Pokemon cards.

Yes. Very bitter about that.

[Blyton90]

Oh I see - it's because you've got enough pocket money to complete your collection of Pokemon cards.

Yes. Very bitter about that.

That's the thing mate. I don't have to pay for sex.

But I'll update you all anyway.  If you don't believe me I don't care.

I'm the one living out my biggest sexual fantasy of some sort of sexual action after a legitimate massage. And considering the messages she and I have been exchanging...it's gonna be a good one.

[Blyton90]

I'm not envious at all and I'm not your pal. I've pulled plenty before, it's not a claim to fame. But good luck and all that. Maybe you should let us know her details and we'll see who's already paid to fuck her?

Nobody has mate. That's the appeal.

[fredpunter]

Fantasy

I edited your post to make it easier to read

[Blyton90]

I edited your post to make it easier to read

I kinda feel bad for people like you who clearly live a life where the mere prospect of what IS happening to me, seems like such a fantasy you can't possibly believe it can happen to someone in real life.

Well sorry to make you feel even worse about yourself mate, but this IS happening. 

[fredpunter]

I kinda feel bad for people like you who clearly live a life where the mere prospect of what IS happening to me, seems like such a fantasy you can't possibly believe it can happen to someone in real life.

Well sorry to make you feel even worse about yourself mate, but this IS happening.

I'm touched by your concern 

[Blyton90]

I'm touched by your concern 

Well, you certainly are touched, that's for sure.   

[catweazle]

Nobody has mate. That's the appeal.

Like no other masseuse has ever said this to a client before.

Just out of idle curiosity, does Mummy know you're on this website up in your bedroom?

[sensualencounter]

Nobody has mate. That's the appeal.

I'm also not your mate. You're obviously very handsome and charming and she's fallen for you in a big way, unlike all her other clients  Good luck with it and let's hope you can see her before you have to get back to school. You've got another month but not sure you'll be round that long to tell us.

[Blyton90]

Like no other masseuse has ever said this to a client before.

Just out of idle curiosity, does Mummy know you're on this website up in your bedroom?

I'm in my 30's, married and my mother died a long time ago mate but thanks for your interest.

[Blyton90]

I'm also not your mate. You're obviously very handsome and charming and she's fallen for you in a big way, unlike all her other clients  Good luck with it and let's hope you can see her before you have to get back to school. You've got another month but not sure you'll be round that long to tell us.

Ok buddy.  You have the same comeback as everyone else did the first time I post on here and I proved all them wrong. Dont be a hater because because I'm in shape and good looking. 

[JamesFD]

I'm in my 30's, married and my mother died a long time ago mate but thanks for your interest.

Sadly there's a poor tolerance on this forum for anything slightly unusual - see the grief that anyone posting about having success on Tinder gets. You can either calm down & ignore the barbs or eventually they'll get you to post something that gets you banned. I don't know if what you are posting is true or fantasy, but it reads well & I'm enjoying it.

[Blyton90]

Sadly there's a poor tolerance on this forum for anything slightly unusual - see the grief that anyone posting about having success on Tinder gets. You can either calm down & ignore the barbs or eventually they'll get you to post something that gets you banned. I don't know if what you are posting is true or fantasy, but it reads well & I'm enjoying it.

I find it all quite amusing.  But I can assure you it's true. It came as a surprise to me too

[Silver Birch]

Late arrival to this thread. It started well and I read with interest.

My conclusion after reading all 4 pages - Absolute horseshit 

[Blyton90]

Late arrival to this thread. It started well and I read with interest.

My conclusion after reading all 4 pages - Absolute horseshit 

Someone else who doesn't stand a chance of anything like this happening to them. Sorry you were hit with the ugly stick.

[sensualencounter]

Annnnndddddd........... he's gone!

Shame that we'll never hear the end of his Mills & Boon romance. Such a dashing hunk of a man.

[Roth]

Good riddance to Enid.

[catweazle]

Good riddance to Enid.

Probably took his user name from the bedroom bookshelf.

[switftjake]

As soon as it veered into having an affair with a woman rather than trying to turn a civvie into a provider, it went off topic.

[bigmanbigman]

What a load of old shit
Op try pof

[smiley9]

You can always tell when the Schools out for Summer 

     

[catweazle]

What a load of old shit
Op try pof

Well, he won't be reading that advice.......... banned

[hungrypunt]

Someone else who doesn't stand a chance of anything like this happening to them. Sorry you were hit with the ugly stick.

100% enid blytons brother

[Cornish sub]

Well I've hired a cleaner, arranged to get a manicure on Monday, haircut on Tuesday, spray tan on Wednesday, ball wax on Thursday and a legit massage on Friday.

If I don't get laid then I will have to accept I'm an fugly cunt 

Have only read this thread for the first time tonight (still haven't got to the ending yet, happy or otherwise) but this post made me piss myself, almost literally 
Edit: Have read till the end now and no happy ending. Damn.

[Mr Farkyhars]

Late arrival to this thread. It started well and I read with interest.

My conclusion after reading all 4 pages - Absolute horseshit 

Just seen it for the first time. I concluded before the end of page 1 that it was trolling - as in, Blyton90 sounds like a work experience account for a shaggy dog story diploma course.