So, as you may know from my previous report there is a new teenage girl on the scene. After my initial meeting with her on Tuesday I was looking forward to Saturday (her other day of work).
Unfortunately, this was also the day that my uncle Marty had decided to get married for the fifth time. I was forced to go and I really thought that I would not be able to make it back in time and as I looked at my watch at 5 pm it was glaringly obvious that a bit of acting was needed if I was to be able to punt that day. So I keeled over in front of all the guests and was rushed to a side room of the venue, once there I told my parents that I think I had had food poisoning and for them to give my uncle Marty my regards but that I would be going home.
If ‘home’ was a vagina then I wasn’t lying and an hour and a half later I had made a miraculous recovery and found myself walking briskly out of Leicester Square station towards Lisle St. It was packed, I had not been Soho on a Saturday in a long time, no way was she going to be free, I thought to myself. As I approached the entrance I prayed that she was working at the very least, I walked up the steps and there it was, the sign on the second floor proudly proclaiming – ‘Kathleen’. I literally ran up the steps and knocked. No sound, I knocked again, expecting to hear a “Busyyyyy” but to my surprise the door opened. It was Kathleen’s brown little face. “Hello” she said, standing there in her black bra and knickers with her tiny lithe body and pert boobs. “10 minutes” she said,
“What?” I asked.
“Busy 10 minutes, you wait?”
“OK I said” walking in.
“No, there” she said pointing behind me. She wanted me to wait outside. I peeked inside and there was no one in the front room from where I could see. “Can I wait inside?” I asked.
She looked unsure and I was about to find out why. She sized me up and then said “OK”.
I walked in and the waiting room was empty, no maid. Kathleen disappeared into the bedroom and I could hear her talking to a man. She popped back out after a minute, walked into the waiting room and wrote something down on a pad that was sitting on a table. I watched and admired her body, her ass is really something else, nice and brown and full, unusual for such a slim frame. She then turned to me and said “I back” and smiled at me, I was too busy watching her boobs. She went in to the room and I heard some talking, after that some muffled noises, which then turned into groaning, my dick started to get hard, the heater was on in the room so I got up and turned it off to hear more clearly. The guy was fucking the shit out of her, I could hear the bed creaking and almost every thrust as he went in and out of her pussy. It was obvious Kathleen was really earning her crust at that point. After about 3 minutes I heard what sounded like a crescendo as the guy no doubt finished inside her, for a split second there was quiet and then I heard her bounce up and say “Finished! Thank you, bye!”. Typical EE attitude I smiled to myself. She then popped her head round the doorway, probably to see what I was doing as I was alone. I looked at her and she pretended to watch the TV. She was stark naked as she had no bra straps from the little that I could see. She then popped back to her room. I then by chance looked at the CCTV and saw two Police Officers walking up, I shit myself and got up panicking, my heart started beating fast, there was a stairway leading up in the flat, should I take it? I thought to myself, I was fucked! Oh the shame of being caught here! I was really starting to panic and actually feel sick like I had pretended a couple of hours ago, then I looked again at the CCTV and the Police Officers were in a car. What the fuck? That’s when I realised I was looking at the fucking TV!! It was one of those stupid cop shows and it must have been a scene of them walking up a flight of stairs that I had confused as the walk up. I then looked to the right and there was the real CCTV monitor, easily distinguishable as it was not in colour, what a fool I was! I sat down breathing a sigh of relief. Right then Kathleen came out dressed in her lingerie. She sat down next to me and pointed towards the next room “He…” and then she did a drinking motion to tell me that the punter next door was drunk. I laughed. She then got up and came up close to me, “What you want?” she asked.
“What do YOU want?” I flipped back on her.
“Sex and 69” she smiled. Blimey I thought, I had bitten off more than I could chew here.
“No let’s do bj & sex” I said.
“What?” she asked, reminding me that she has crap English.
I repeated myself slowly (as if that makes a difference) but she still didn’t understand. I then unwillingly did a blow job motion and she clicked.
“No, 69” she insisted. Now I’m not a fan of eating out a WG but I’ve no doubt that most of you guys on here would have appreciated that. So I said once again “Lets do bj & sex”. And then she came closer to me and sat down on my lap, her face real close to mine. “20 minutes?” she asked, with puppy dog eyes and her puffy little lips. I looked at her lips and you could actually see the youth on them, she was so fresh and new, you could really see it close up. I asked her if she did kissing, tellingly she looked at my lips for a second before saying no. I asked again and she laughed and lent in, I went forward and she diverted to my cheek and planted a little soft kiss there. I looked at her boobs held nice and tightly by her bra and I put my hand on her breast, I lent in and nuzzled her neck and she laughed. “20 minutes?” she asked. I did not have enough and I knew it. I did not want to lead her on but I found myself saying “I’ll think about it”, probably because I was afraid if I said anything else she would get up and walk away and I was loving having her sit on my lap with just the two of us there. She obviously didn’t understand what I had just said as a puzzled look appeared across her face, so I thought fuck it, I will go get more moolah if she kisses. So I told her I would stay for 20 minutes if she kissed, she told me that she would kiss me on the cheeks but not lips, I smiled and thought that I had to respect it, as it was the third time she had said no. She leaned in and I kissed her neck, she sighed and I remember thinking to myself that this is a really really good experience so far. I smelt her perfume as we hugged, I was hard and ready to go and this little minx was sitting on me in her underwear, and we were not even in the bedroom yet. And then I heard it… “HELLOWWWW!!!” Me and Kathleen snapped our necks behind us towards the door and there he was in all his glory – a butt naked Chinaman standing there, hands on hips smiling at us. Kathleen got up and said “Put your clothes on!” He slurred some words that even I couldn’t understand, he walked into the waiting room and put his arms out to hug Kathleen, she quickly dodged him, which to be fair was pretty easy as he was drunk as a skunk and he came at me by default with his little tackle and hug, “Woah woah!” I said, standing up and backing away. The Chinaman stopped and smiled at Kathleen, she used a stern voice and told him to go back to the room, he looked down like a naughty school boy and burst out crying. HOW FUCKING BIZARRE! I thought to myself, she pulled his arm and they disappeared into the bedroom. I stood there thinking what the fuck just happened?
In the bedroom, I could hear the Chinese stud getting amorous again with Kathleen “No you clothes and go” she insisted. Then there was a knock on the door. I could see a big English gentleman standing there, he waited for about twenty seconds before knocking again, the second time he knocked Kathleen just happened to be walking out of the room, she opened the door and the English gent said “Excuse me, I was here this morning and I think I may have left my umbrella, is there any possibility that you could have a quick look to see if I have left it here?”.
“Huh?” said Kathleen, making the English gent repeat the whole sentence again, I giggled insensitively to the cultural barrier, but also knowing that him repeating his sentence again still wouldn’t make a difference. And it didn’t, I don’t think she understood as she turned around looked at me and turned back at the English gent and said “Sorry” and closed the door on him. I watched him in the CCTV stand there for five seconds, as if he was processing what had just happened and then he shuffled off to Harrods.
Kathleen came and sat down next to me, I asked her where the maid was and of course she didn’t understand, after a lot of sign language she twigged. “She shop, she come, 3 minoots”. I laughed inside my head thinking that there was no maid today, as I had been there for fifteen minutes and surely that was enough time to do a shop run? Kathleen got up and walked next door again, The Chinese stud was ready to leave, she walked him out and he turned around, the last thing I heard him say as the door slammed on his mongoloid face was “Is my time up?”. I laughed loudly and Kathleen looked at me like I was weird but fuck it, this was like a Carry On movie by this point. We walked into the room and she asked what I wanted, I pointed at the sex and bj and handed over the paperwork, she took it and put it on the table and told me to undress, gone was the chemistry that we had built in the waiting room. She put the johnny on me and then hit me with a bombshell. “Excuse me? Pussy owwwww, you do anool?”.
“What?” I asked, not believing my ears. She repeated herself and it was clear, she was saying that she was sore, no doubt thanks to the Chinese Stud and that she wanted to do anal instead. Now I’ve never done anal and I really really should have, in hindsight. But I found myself saying “OK just bj”. She asked me if I was sure and I said “Yes” without thinking. She walked over to the table and handed me 5 back, and dropped to her knees. I asked her to remove her bra which she did, and then to move on to the bed, she wasn’t happy about that and I remember thinking here we go, it’s all downhill from here. Her blow job was SHIT. Probably the worst that I have ever had in Soho, or in my life actually. It was 3% mouth and 97% hand and when it was mouth she was pecking the tip, it was fucking awful! So I stopped her and got her to stand up, I stood up with her. I wanted to savour that body. I kissed her from her neck down to her legs, as I went up I went between her legs and kissed her pussy, she sighed “Oh god!” and smiled as I looked up at her. Remembering that she had tried to talk me into 69 earlier, I think it’s fair to say that this young newbie enjoys being eaten out, so keep that in mind for all the cunninlinguists out there, unfortunately not my cup of tea. I moved up and sucked on her pert young tits and asked her how old she was, she had told me 19 on Tuesday, but I had kind of put that in her mouth when she hadn’t understood the question and I was giving her example answers. So I wanted to ask her again, she looked at me puzzled so I used my fingers to tell her my age and she held up 10 fingers, followed by 9, so she is legit folks. Anyway, I pulled her back onto the bed and asked her to suck me, she carried on doing a pathetic job, I was starting to think what the fuck was I going to do when BANG!!! COMPLETE DARKNESS!!!
Kathleen screamed, I shit myself for the second time thinking it was a raid. We both got up, she opened the door and said “I back” and ran off downstairs, was I being set up? I thought to myself? I remember thinking that I didn’t have anything on me apart from my good looks, sense of humour, charm and sex appeal and NONE of those could be handed over to a Romanian gangster who is already pissed off about Brexit, Trump and has a gun. I panicked and put on my clothes, in case it was a raid. I stood there in complete silence and darkness, I could feel my dick feeling odd and then I remembered that I had still got the condom on under my clothes! Nothing was off limits today, I was experiencing things that I had never experienced before. Kathleen came back up and said “Electric finish”. I asked her if she wanted me to go, she said “Yes”. I told her that I would be taking the dosh and she said “Blowjob”. I told her I did not finish and she simply replied “Blowjob”. I took this to mean that she wanted to finish me and started to take my clothes off. “No keep on” she said, flicking her iphone xenon light on and dropping to her knees. This was bizarre and fucking awful service, I took my dick out and she did an awful job of tugging on it, she had her robe on by this time and it was tightly wrapped up, I undid it and groped her boobs as the BJ was that bad, I forced myself to cum in under 20 seconds and as soon as I started cumming she withdrew, like literally as I shot the first load in the rubber she got up, as I stood there wanking myself trying to get pleasure from the orgasm I could hear here saying “Go now”. It was probably the worst experience ever, even worse than when Crazy Anglea briefly imprisoned me in her room when she took offence to me turning her down (search for that report if you haven’t read it).
I whipped the johnny off and cleaned myself up with what looked like coarse square shaped tissue from McDonalds, another first for me in a walk up, wiping the cum off my dick with Mickey D paraphernalia! After that I walked out, I don’t think I will go back to Kathleen ever again. She has a banging body and it seems that she will do anal for 25 and even encourages you to do 69 but the ending really sealed it for me. I have never, ever, in all my years of punting, EVER had a night like that. Bizarre probably doesn’t do the whole experience justice.
I’m still waiting to see what other people say about her but I think I really took one for the team by going through this night. So go see her fellas, it can’t get any worse than that!
