Back to my ongoing theme of size 8 blonde jockeys to ride this bonking bronco.
I’ve been aware of Paige for years, she’s done some porn work, and I’ve also previously had comms with her, so I knew exactly what I would be facing looks wise before I even met her.
Enough said, target acquired, bring it on.
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The short version.A robotic passionless disaster of a punt with a lass that was more interested in pleasing herself than me.
FFS I didn’t even fucking cum.
The booking process.Paige seems to be quite popular as her availability is limited so I contacted her a week before I wanted to see her. A couple of text messages followed by 20 minutes on the phone and that was it.
My stall was laid out and all was looking good. Paige supplied me with a postcode and asked me to confirm my dress request nearer to the time.
No contact via AWank, no AWank booking request no fuck all. Simples and just how I like it.
GAME ON !!!
The waiting game.Not much of a wait at all as Paige wasn’t in any way chatty.
As requested 2 days before the punt I supplied my dress request. This was rejected by Paige as not being her thing so I offered her a choice that she would like and told her to do her own thing.
On the morning of the punt Paige supplied final destination details.
The Venue.A sensible apartment in Draycott.
First I am going to describe her.Paige is a 5’5” tall size 8/10 lass with a classic hourglass figure. She’s got long blonde hair with blue and grey tints in it and piercing blue eyes. Facially she’s really pretty, well I thought she was, though her body wasn’t quite what I expected. Paige has clearly lost quite a bit of weight, she told me over a stone just recently, and she has the stretch marks to show this. She isn’t gym fit, albeit there isn’t an ounce of spare fat on her. Stats wise I reckon she’s 34-26-36 and that her small, and saggy because of weight loss, natural tits are an B cup. I’d say Paige weighs about 9 stone.
Yet again I was with a lass that has no inking, if she has I missed it. She’s got pierced ears and navel and that’s that.
There's no doubt whatsoever that the lass I met is the lass pictured in her AWank profile. Age wise I reckon 28 isn’t far off if anything I actually thought she was younger.
Have to say I was initially delighted with the lass that was about to suck and then sit on my cock.....then I got a better look at her.
The meeting.I set off with time to spare having showered and shaved my bollocks. I had a good drive, just over an hour down the M1 from Yorkshire to where Paige’s is, and got to the location with 10 minutes to spare. I immediately let Paige know I was there. Bang on the agreed time she texted me to let me know she was ready. Tap tap and of course Paige did the hiding behind the door thing.
First impressions I have to say were very good as she’s got a lovely face and a beaming smile. Paige was dressed in a cream pencil skirt and a zip back top. This is pictured on her UKE profile.
A quick kiss and a hug at the door, nothing passionate, and then I started to chat with her to break the ice. I told her how good she looked and then I got told off as she said I was being too loud and everyone outside would hear me. OK my bad as she asked me to follow her to the room.
Quick chat about condoms, she’s a newbie to me, and I went for a piss. When I returned Paige asked for the money which she counted in front of me. I confirmed the menu, anything goes as per her AWank, so all seemed good.
We then stood facing each other and started to feel each other up as we kissed. Paige’s kissing for a lass who claims on her AWank profile to be “very sensual” and that “..touching and kissing is very important to me” leaves something to be desired IMHO. It was LFK at best with a bit of tongue. It didn’t take Paige long to start complaining that she didn’t like my facial hair.
FFS when I talked to her on the phone I’d told her I sport facial hair and she’d told me this wasn’t an issue.
This is when I should have asked for my money back and walked as for me kissing is a big part of a punt. BUT like a soft twat who had just driven over an hour to get there I didn’t and decided to soldier on as my cock was starting to twitch.
Anyways Paige’s skirt and then the rest of her clothes other than her thong got removed as we continued to feel each other up. FFS she then tells me off for being too rough with her as I was massaging her clit, through her thong, with the end of my finger.
Paige now asked me to take my trousers off and I sat on the bed. She straddled me and came in for a kiss and again pulled away and complained about my beard. Fair enough as I now manoeuvred both of us properly onto the bed and lay down with her above me. Paige then licked her way down my body and removed my pants. The look on her face as she found my freshly shaved and completely smooth bollocks was a picture. “Perfect" she said as she then got stuck into my cock and balls. Well my cock wasn’t having none of it as it refused to rise to the occasion. So I suggested I would go down on her. Paige then asked if I’d hold her round the throat, which I told her I’m not into, as she played with herself. This I declined and instead I again suggested I would go down on her.
FFS she had the gall to tell me my pussy licking wasn’t to her liking and I was being too rough. So I changed my technique but she clearly wasn’t happy as she complained about being sensitive. FFS I’d hardly touched her. She then refused to allow me to finger her, fair call it’s her body and it’s up to her what goes in it, and then she starting complaining that my beard was scratching her and that she didn’t like it. OK she may be sensitive down there but this was bordering on the ridiculous. So I came away from her pussy, which I must say was clean and well-presented albeit she’s trimmed not bald down there, and lay at her side.
I made a big point of the fact that I wasn’t going to do anything she didn’t like and made another attempt to kiss her. This was rebutted so I suggested that she wake my cock up. Hmm Paige really does have a nice mouth on her. Her oral is very pleasant albeit not overly deep and she paid attention to how I like my cock sucking. Excellent eye contact that I cannot fault.
Condom time and then Paige smothered herself and the condom with lube, so much so that I commented on just how much she had used, which was a real passion killer for me.
Paige then climbed aboard for cowgirl, her pussy is a good fit for my cock albeit it’s not that tight. Paige then rode me for a while. I attempted to kiss her while she was riding me which she pulled away from so I thought fuck it and asked her for reverse cowgirl. The words “I don’t do that” exited her mouth. WTF !!!! So I suggested I would go ontop. Hmm time for a compliment from Paige as she told me I’d got an excellent rhythm whilst she played with her clit and fetched herself off. For a lass that had told me off for being rough she certainly didn’t seem to be holding back to me. Maybe she likes DIY more than a punter doing it for her ??
Hmm this really wasn’t going very well now and again by all rights I should have flung the towel in and just quit. I didn’t though did I as Paige now asked me again to hold her throat. I again made it clear to her this made me very uncomfortable as it’s not my thing and even offered to use a scarf, I’ll give her credit as she at least tried this, before I relented as she again played with herself.
Back to cock sucking which eventually got me hard and then it was condom time. I asked for doggie, Paige again smothered herself and the condom with lube, and then FFS as I tried to enter her she “accused” me of trying to fuck her arse. WTF as my cock instantly melted and I protested my innocence. Paige seemed ok with this.
So there I was kneeling on the bed thinking to myself WTF is happening here as she then started to play with my cock again. Well my cock raised it’s head and joined the party and then her fucking alarm went off and she said to me that’s it.
Think she could see the look of pain on my face as I said to her “any chance of an extra ½ an hour that I’ll gladly pay for so that at least I get to cum ??” This was refused and I just couldn’t help myself as I said to her “What a disaster….best run me a shower” to which she retorted “well it was for you wasn’t it” as she then asked “do you really want a shower” which I insisted on.
Fastest shower ever.
Paige was quite contrite as I dressed and made her excuses about having been at some sort of “dance theatre” the night before so she was aching all over and not on top form. It was quite clear to me she couldn’t get rid of me fast enough.
A quick kiss and a hug, I don’t like to leave a lass I’ve fucked without doing this, and then Paige showed me out.
I got back to my car exactly 2 hours and 10 minutes after I left it.
The money bit.I paid Paige £240 for 2 hours of her life.
In conclusion.This really was a shite punt, one if not the worst I’ve had in years.
My thoughts on what went wrong.I just don’t get what went wrong here. I was pleasant to Paige all the way through, at least I thought I was, but there clearly wasn’t any connection whatsoever. Her piss poor kissing and then her refusal to do reverse cowgirl killed it for me.
Her accusation of my trying to fuck her arse was just downright insulting.
IMHO she was more interested in her own pleasure than in mine.
Last but not least.I entered this room as a nobody as I wanted a “fair crack at the whip” with this lass.
Hindsight makes me wonder if she had known that MrFishyFoo was coming to visit would I have got a better service.
Finally.Having gone through Paige’s AWank feedback I’m amazed she’s not better reviewed on UKP. So on with my tin hat as I await her fluffies to come charging to her rescue.