Bizzare/Stupid/Ignorant/Funny Replies for Offering and NOT Offering Bareback Sex

[CoolTiger]

Q. Do you offer penetrative sex without a condom?    
A. *Sighs in utter horror* Dear God- NO. NOT EVER!! If you even have to ask this, you are not my kind of client.

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[Straife]

Q. Do you offer penetrative sex without a condom?    
A. *Sighs in utter horror* Dear God- NO. NOT EVER!! If you even have to ask this, you are not my kind of client.

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Another wannabe 'courtesan'. Get real my dear. 

[KentAde]

This one new today,  in her FAQ's  answers "NO Ever" to her "do you do bareback" question and the 2nd pic on her profile shows her doing DP without..... duh ?

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Just looked at that (2nd pic on the 'Movies' tab) and anyone ever done 'Penitration' with someone? I've done 'Penetration'??!! 

[Horizontal pleasures]

Just looked at that (2nd pic on the 'Movies' tab) and anyone ever done 'Penitration' with someone? I've done 'Penetration'??!! 

Penitration must be specific for when using a penis.

[skipper121]

Or perhaps a Parker Pen?  I suppose a ball point would be most appropriate

[sarahjayneleeds]

HP we are all aware you seek Ladies that are not to most peoples tastes. I check feedback to see if they have seen a BB provider and dismiss emails, obviously via phone I don't have the same control. So as one who seeks it openly and with feedback to say you do. Have you been declined by ladies that don't offer it?  what percentage would you say don't advertise it but do offer it be that as an extra or whatever just as a reality check for us that think we cover most risks to be as safe as we can  when punting/working 

[CoolTiger]

Q. Do you offer bareback?                    A. If you ask me this, I will block you. Simples.
Q. How often do you get checked out?    A. I am checked every 5-6 weeks. I suggest you do too, for peace of mind and to
                                                                    protect those around you, i.e family and loved ones.

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[CoolTiger]

Q. Do you offer bareback?    
A. No, any person whom asks will be shot (just kidding.. but seriously, dont ask)

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[NightKid]

Q. How often do you get checked out?    A. I am checked every 5-6 weeks. I suggest you do too, for peace of mind and to
                                                                    protect those around you, i.e family and loved ones.

Very subtle! 

[CoolTiger]

Q. Do you do bare bareback?    

A. Do i fuck ! No chance not even for all the money in the world i take pride in my health x i remember i only had a couple of pot noodles in the cubord and got offered 500 for bare bare back ontop of my hourly rate still turned it down mad or what lol x

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[Adele Bella]

Very subtle! 

Subtle? I'm hardly subtle? If you are fucking strangers, regardless of whether it's protected or not, and getting your cock sucked by anyone without a condom you should get checked out...

[tightfoot69]

Q. Do you do bareback?
A. Yes, but as I am high class I will use a wet wipe first so you are clean. I value my health.

[CoolTiger]

Q. Do you do bareback?
A. Yes, but as I am high class I will use a wet wipe first so you are clean. I value my health.

Link.....

[lovelysofia92]

Q. Do you do bareback?
A. Yes, but as I am high class I will use a wet wipe first so you are clean. I value my health.

This has to be made up 

[NaturalMystique]

This has to be made up 

I was thinking the same thing

[dilettante]

This one here is my all time favourite "up her own arse" profile. If you can find the bareback question amongst all the shit it's a beauty!
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... sanctemonsious bussy bodies ...

Ah!  I get so turned on by women who can quote from Robbie Burns ... ;-)

[NightKid]

Subtle? I'm hardly subtle? If you are fucking strangers, regardless of whether it's protected or not, and getting your cock sucked by anyone without a condom you should get checked out...

It's your use of the phrase "family and loved ones", which encompasses siblings/next of kin as well. And one is hardly going to be shagging them, are they.
Edit: Capiche? 

[Adele Bella]

It's your use of the phrase "family and loved ones", which encompasses siblings/next of kin as well. And one is hardly going to be shagging them, are they.
Edit: Capiche? 

Family = wives/husbands/partners
Loved ones = girlfriend/boyfriend etc etc...

Capiche?

[Tailpipe]

Family = wives/husbands/partners
Loved ones = girlfriend/boyfriend etc etc...

Capiche?

confused please explain in TP words 

[dilettante]

This has to be made up 

Yes, it's very "tongue-in-cheek" ( ... hopefully, her tongue in your ass-cheek!)

[Adele Bella]

confused please explain in TP words 

Get checked regularly...basically...

[Tailpipe]

Get checked regularly...basically...

Ok I see  must be better threads than this ,BB to risky bad news for everyone

[NightKid]

Family = wives/husbands/partners
Loved ones = girlfriend/boyfriend etc etc...

Yes, we know what you meant.
But the joke is; family also = Nana/Uncle Bob/etc.

[Tailpipe]

Yes, we know what you meant.
But the joke is; family & loved ones also = Nana/Uncle Bob/etc.

TP did not know , how did you manage to post without quoting a link 

[Ali Katt]

 

Ah!  I get so turned on by women who can quote from Robbie Burns ... ;-)

Unappealing tits though, I've seen more shapely ones on a 20 stone builder.

[tightfoot69]

Q. Do you do Bareback?
A. Sure, why not? As long as you promise not to mention it on any feedback you give me.

[NightKid]

... how did you manage to post without quoting a link 

Whenever this happens, the part of the Batcomputer that handles my link searches temporarily goes down. 

[Horizontal pleasures]

Q. Do you do Bareback?
A. Sure, why not? As long as you promise not to mention it on any feedback you give me.

link please?

[CoolTiger]

Q. Do you do Bareback?
A. Sure, why not? As long as you promise not to mention it on any feedback you give me.

Slight variation to this one....

A. Hell No. If you ask for BB, I shall block you and report you. However, if you're nice to me and we get on (i.e. give me extra cash) then I shall provide you with BB sex. I have not had BB sex with any other client. You are my first one. I can assure you I am really clean and healthy, look after myself really well, and get tested regularly at the local clinic. BTW I trust you and can see that you look clean.

[Adele Bella]

These have got to be piss takes surely...??? 

[punk]

These have got to be piss takes surely...??? 

And water sports too, bloody hell she is game,dont worry you can tell a bb by the smell from her pussy 

[Adele Bella]

And water sports too, bloody hell she is game,dont worry you can tell a bb by the smell from her pussy 

What about guys with stinky winkies? Does that mean that they're constant barebackers too? Silly sausage....

[punk]

What about guys with stinky winkies? Does that mean that they're constant barebackers too? Silly sausage....

well give me a smack, some are!!!!Some guys don't know how to look after their sausage,how ever some of us do.

[CoolTiger]

Slight variation to this one....

A. Hell No. If you ask for BB, I shall block you and report you. However, if you're nice to me and we get on (i.e. give me extra cash) then I shall provide you with BB sex. I have not had BB sex with any other client. You are my first one. I can assure you I am really clean and healthy, look after myself really well, and get tested regularly at the local clinic. BTW I trust you and can see that you look clean.

These have got to be piss takes surely...??? 

Nope!! I had one girl enquire off me for BB on my 2nd visit to her. Whether it was for BB on that 2nd visit or her
trying to offer it for the 3rd visit (in order to entice me to visit her at least once more), I couldn't tell. I never found
out cos I turned it down there and then.
Needless to say, there was no 3rd visit.
Her profile had the usual "No" answer to BB in the Q&A section.

[Tailpipe]

And water sports too, bloody hell she is game,dont worry you can tell a bb by the smell from her pussy 

Punk think I need to call you on this. My Ex never for all her floors never had a smell from the pussy.
Think its supposed to self clean , think they can get BV thing without been a BB.

I BB her having said that it was not often 

Bad pussy smell is the pits as must be cheesy cock 

[dilettante]

Yes, a floral smell from the pelvic floor is the least we can expect from a woman.  Having read saafe I feel sorry for the WGs that say they had a regular they didn't want to lose who was always clean and fresh EXCEPT his foreskin was tight or something so couldn't wash behind it and his cock always smelled vile.    I've never come across the fabled "fishy odour" in a woman yet, though from what I had heard about women while still a virgin I was certainly expecting it!

[punk]

Punk think I need to call you on this. My Ex never for all her floors never had a smell from the pussy.
Think its supposed to self clean , think they can get BV thing without been a BB.

I BB her having said that it was not often 

Bad pussy smell is the pits as must be cheesy cock 

yeah some guys 

[peswm]

Q. Do you offer unprotected penetration/bareback?  A. Yes,................. WHEN we will be married ! :-)


 External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

[punk]

Punk think I need to call you on this. My Ex never for all her floors never had a smell from the pussy.
Think its supposed to self clean , think they can get BV thing without been a BB.

I BB her having said that it was not often 

Bad pussy smell is the pits as must be cheesy cock 

I also thought it was the amount of cum gets blasted into their pussy per day.so she does bb with 7 blokes on average per day as bb seems to be popular with some punters.

[Cossack]

For me most stupid thing is when i read profile and wg is saying that she does not do bareback sex but in enjoy list she have bareback listed 
They are many profiles like this one

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I m not fan of bareback sex ,i m not trying to scare anyone but you can get gonorrhea,genital herpes,syphilis from oral sex so you take risk with bareback or without ...but you can get this crap during oral sex chlamydia HIV hepatitis A, hepatitis B and hepatitis C genital warts pubic lice.
If the girl have HIV and she give you BJ and she have small wound in her mouth lets say she take tooth out there is a chance you can get HIV.
So to be honest you take risk every time you see WG bareback or not ...

[Horizontal pleasures]

For me most stupid thing is when i read profile and wg is saying that she does not do bareback sex but in enjoy list she have bareback listed 
They are many profiles like this one

External Link/Members Only .

Link to this Profile Page using External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only
Zoe writes SEX WITH CONDOM in profile and Unprotected Sex in enjoys list. She even put the umbrella on me for oral and kept her lips shut for snogging.

[punk]

Link to this Profile Page using External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only
Zoe writes SEX WITH CONDOM in profile and Unprotected Sex in enjoys list. She even put the umbrella on me for oral and kept her lips shut for snogging.

playing it safe good for her, may be the pimp ticked all the boxes.

[CoolTiger]

Q. Bareback?    
A. Not even for £1 million!

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[CoolTiger]

Q. Do you do bareback?    

A. No, you may ask, but I will still say no.

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Now there's a sensible answer, with no blocking or reporting you to the "authorities"

[Horizontal pleasures]

Q. Do you do bareback?    

A. No, you may ask, but I will still say no.

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

Now there's a sensible answer, with no blocking or reporting you to the "authorities"

many other pictures of this one all photoshopped I think:

Pages that include matching images
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[CoolTiger]

I only picked up her profile from a different thread started by toon972...

https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=19418.0

[Hyborean]

Q. Do you do bareback?    

A. No, you may ask, but I will still say no.

External Link/Members Only or External Link/Members Only

Now there's a sensible answer, with no blocking or reporting you to the "authorities"

Madlin is eminently sensible in all things and beloved of many punters on this forum!

[Tailpipe]

many other pictures of this one all photoshopped I think:

Pages that include matching images
Madlin Moon - Escort Hungary, Hungary - Norway escort zone

norwayescortzone.com/en/escort/700-Madlin_Moon‎
450 × 674 - This sweet young lady is really addicted to her job. Everything she does, does with pleasure. Always smilling, sweet and prepared to give you the best moments  ...
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pornescort.xxx/escort/madlin-moon-53‎
333 × 500 - MADLIN MOON pornstar escort, this sweet young lady is really addicted to her job. Everything she does, does with pleasure. Always smiling, sweet and ...
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HP I am sure you are correct however , she is stunning and better looking than any of her pictures in real life.  She also looks younger.

[Cactus]

Stumbled across this beauty today whilst perusing AW...

Q. Do you do bareback?
A. Yes my daddy doesn't believe in me not feeling the cock that is inside of me. Also there is the chance of living with the humiliation of becoming pregnant for someone who paid to use me and not knowing who got me that way.

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[Rochdull lad]

Stumbled across this beauty today whilst perusing AW...
 

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And there she was  -  gone!