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External Link/Members OnlyParlouresquilly slipping out of my lets give her a go hotlist comes this lass. I've had her on my radar for a while and noticed she had an offer on of half an hour at 50 quid, I thought I'd give her a go. There's no chatter or reviews on here about her, but I thought nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Comms.... there was a phone number displayed on her profile. I gave her a bell to sort my day and time. She sounded alright on the phone. Postcode and street name followed by text. All good, I've got my day, my time and I know where I'm going... roughly. Confirmation in both directions on the day gives me added confidence.
Venue..... grotty terraced flat in Halifax centre with no parking. I managed to bag a little free parking about a five minute walk away but that were pure luck. Her room was very basic, just a fucked old single bed and a manky settee.
Looks..... that's her in the pics, she's got a very tidy body on her but the coldest eyes I've seen in a long time, eyes that kind of looked straight through you. Her age I'd say was accurate.
The action.... I toyed with the idea of walking but because she had a tidy body and I were on an half hour cheapo I decided to stick with it and see where we went.
As soon as she's been paid, she's naked in seconds and she's on me with her tongue right down my throat. I'm thinking this might be a little belter...
But... it's rush rush rush... she's sucking vigorously as I'm laid on the bed with the springs in my back. I pull her over to have some 69 but a quick taste of her sees me sacking that idea, she weren't repulsive but she certainly weren't shower fresh and I weren't having any more of that. A pat of her arse signifies I'm done down there.
Without asking if I'm ready, she pops on the condom and climbs on in reverse cg, full of false moans that are so over the top its almost comical. I'm already in pump and dump mode now.
I spin her round in regular cg and stick my tongue down her throat. I'll say this... She kisses well.
She's vigorously pumping me until she has had enough and wants to lay down, I climb aboard and get stuck straight into podging her in mish.
A good hard pumping sees me popping in my bag. She jumps up and never lays another finger on me. Wet wipes clean me up, I'm dressed and walking out just over 15 minutes after I entered.
And I quite glad to be walking away in truth.
To sum up.... I've toyed with the rating for this review, it's been between neutral and negative. It's never been positive though. I've settled on neutral as I wondered if I should have bothered as I walked back to my car.
She said she has an extensive parlour background and you yorkshire parlour punters will no doubt recognise her. She gave me a proper processed, conveyor belt, invisible parlouresque punt that left me underwhelmed, disappointed and certain I'll never return. She's priced right for a pump and dump though, well, with her offers she is. I paid 50 of my lancashire pounds and that were more than enough imo.
Would I recommend.... personally, I wouldn't recommend her. She's definately not in my style of punting. She would happen do for just a quick pump and dump if you're horny, walking past and want quarter of an hour
Would I return.... narr... the Yorkshire pudding team can keep this one.
