Finding out that a Friend is also a Punter

[Neal69]

So a little while back I was out on a Boys night and staying over in a Hotel.

It was late at night and The Guy that I have known for 15 years or so suggested we get a hooker back to our hotel.

I was like " You serious?" 

Him "Yeah"

Me " Seriously?"

Him " Yeah"

Me " OK Then"

He went on AW with His phone but was then surprised when I suggested that at this time of night it would be best to call an agency. It was early hours of the morning.

Anyway I asked him if He had done it before and He said Yes. I then admitted that I do it regularly.

Now both of us know that I have more disposable income but of course I said too much about my frequency and He was quite surprised.

It was of course too late for us to book anyone as the nearest reply was in Gatwick but the idea of a MMF with a mate did give me a bit of a stirring down below.

So What do I do now?

Put it down to a drunken fantasy and never mention it again.

Or

Talk about it again with Him when I see Him next?

He did go in his pocket and produced a couple of Blue pills that I would have needed in that state of intoxication. I was not planning a punt that weekend so no punting biscuits were on my person.

We are both in long term relationships. 

N

[Steely Dan]

I then admitted that I do it regularly.

I would deny for a bit.  Quite a bit.  Be selfish ... what is the down side (I suggest: partner and everyone who knows you finds out).  Unlikely, but don't confuse the probability with the consequence.

If you really want a punting buddy, it might be OK.  The upside might be worth it.  Just don't rush. Delay is your friend.

[mrhappypants]

I would deny for a bit.  Quite a bit.  Be selfish ... what is the down side (I suggest: partner and everyone who knows you finds out).  Unlikely, but don't confuse the probability with the consequence.

If you really want a punting buddy, it might be OK.  The upside might be worth it.  Just don't rush. Delay is your friend.

Agreed.  I would also weigh up whether your friend is discrete.  This is not the kind of issue over which you want to find out that he has a lose mouth or confides in an ex girlfriend. 

It appears from the story that he at-least suspected you punt.  (i) Are your wives friendly to the point he may have some insight through his wife into your marriage?  (ii) Do you comment on your marriage in company? 

If he is perceptive he may have been able to tell from your behaviour; the people who know me well might notice a marked decrease in my willingness or need to discuss sex since I started punting. 

However it has come about I would be cautious, and I am in the relatively unusual situation that I punt with my wife's knowledge and permission, but on the understanding that I do it discretely.

[Jumping Jack Flash]

I'd be very cautious and play the pissed bravado card. We all tend to exaggerate a lot when we are hammered so I'd be very cautious and possibly not mention it again. If he brings it up then you can blame the drink.

[cueball]

I would deny for a bit.  Quite a bit.  Be selfish ... what is the down side (I suggest: partner and everyone who knows you finds out).  Unlikely, but don't confuse the probability with the consequence.

This ^^

I'd have played it dumb on the night too.

It's a selfish game is this and self preservation is all.

[mrhappypants]

One further thought and excuse me for asking this, but as a genuine question are you attracted to him?

[Blackpool Rock]

A couple of the guys I work with have openly let it be known they have paid for sex albeit on a few occasions when the opportunity presented itself on nights out etc and I have no reason to think they do it regularly (they say they don't).
They have suggested that I consider seeing a prossie / going to Thailand etc but I always sidestep the issue while having a bit of a laugh and banter about it and resorting to the usual stereotypes such as "All the girls have STI's and inject"; "I don't want to get nicked" etc.

The problem is both of these guys are quite free with the information they tell seemingly everybody and before you know it everyone knows your business.
Even when you think you have a close friend and tell them in confidence they have 1 more close friend who they tell and so on, unless you are OK with people knowing then the best policy is to keep your cards close to your chest, as others have said this is a lonely game but it can also be part of the fun leading a secret double life and a lot of people wouldn't believe me even if I did tell them how often I punt   

[Buttons]

For me this is all about not shitting where you eat. Play it down, the advice above about drunken bravado is correct.

Think about what you are risking if you get discovered. Seems simple enough to me.

Anyway, I wouldn't want to see any of my male friends cum face  Although that thought raises the obvious idea of a female punting friend 

[mikexxlong]

put it this way do you trust this guy with your life?

as the repercussions could be dire if he reveals your 'hobby' to others

what problems and destruction would it cause to yourself and family/friends/job etc? or even your life in the future if this information is still circulating around ?

[BP96]

Some of the language in the OP does come across as if the writer is expecting some guy-on-guy action too. Not sure if I'm reading too much into it.

Apart from that, I think it would be quite nice to mix male bonding (chill, have a laugh), with fucking a prostitute.

If you have known the guy for a long time too then you will know to what extent you can trust him.

[Jonestown]

Let's hope you are both as embarrassed as each other and nothing more will or should be said, let's also hope it wasn't a set up for some future scam, as you say you have more disposable income than he does. This is the trouble with all this "secret life" bollocks, so many guys are just dying to tell someone, in truth, you can't tell anyone, it's too toxic a subject.

[pewpewpew]

When your mate gets caught and his defense is "but neal69 does it all the time" you will discover that this is a secret best kept

[blackburnian]

I'm well aware a friend of mine is a fellow punter ,he's totally unaware I know & I would never open Pandora's box with this one , best advice is keep gob shut & forget it happened - can't see too many positives (mmf excepted) but plenty of possible negatives 

Bb

[Neal69]

Good advice Guys I think I will keep sctum.

And No Guys I don't mind you asking but No I did not envisage or want any Bloke on Bloke action.

I suppose its the fact that I have never done anything other than a 1 on 1 punt. I have never done a Party or gone Dogging but I would not be adverse to trying either particularly a Party. There just does not seem to be the Parties available when I can book them or indeed in my Punting area.

Bucket list thing maybe.

N

[BP96]

Why don't you combine your next visit to London with a party? Whatever has replaced Lady Marmalade I can recommend.

[sparkus]

Once I said to a former colleague/mate that the barmaid serving us (EE, very slutty outfit) was "What I imagine women in those saunas on the high road look like."

He said "Err, yeah." and went white.

I left it at that but smirked inside.

[itk]

Got into punting with two mates over 20 years ago. Back then was a WG from the street corner, now a lot different but we still all punt, mainly solo and occasionally meet where the conversation is always about punting.  Having mates to talk about this hobby certainly helps.

[jsparky]

NO, don't tell anyone, some one I thought were closed friend has used it against me!

[regular_guy]

i found out a mate punted so just told him about this site - didn't say my username and i have no idea if he's signed up and contributing, find it best not to talk about individual punts with too much detail.

[Jonestown]

i found out a mate punted so just told him about this site - didn't say my username and i have no idea if he's signed up and contributing, find it best not to talk about individual punts with too much detail.

Ha, if he reads this then you've almost certainly just given the game away.

[howrude]

I remember a friend who used to go on about a place down the road from him being a brothel. Like he knew and had visited it - if not other places. I of course knew it was and had visited it a few times.

But I've never had a friend admit to it. And if one did, as appealing as it would be to have a friend to share the secret and the experiences, I would assume in the most part, he'd dropped his guard and that he would actually be less the person to tell about my own experiences, should i value my own discretency.  If he's candid about it to other people, then him knowing about me would be a compromise. Like if it got him into trouble and he mentioned me.

[myothernameis]

I know of someone in work, who see escorts, but has no idea that I do the same, but didn't tell everyone

I have seen what has gone on with the lad, after he told some of us, the ones who knew told other mates, and very soon everyone in work knows

Last year he was going out with someone, but soon broke up, as one of the females to this girl, and she was disgusted and didn't want to see him again ever, and even the parent got to hear about him, and the girls father threatened to knock his block of, if he comes near her

[mrhappypants]

I know of someone in work, who see escorts, but has no idea that I do the same, but didn't tell everyone

I have seen what has gone on with the lad, after he told some of us, the ones who knew told other mates, and very soon everyone in work knows

Last year he was going out with someone, but soon broke up, as one of the females to this girl, and she was disgusted and didn't want to see him again ever, and even the parent got to hear about him, and the girls father threatened to knock his block of, if he comes near her

This rings true for me. 

Yep very important NOT  to forget that what might play out fine on here is very different from work or community.  For many years when I was single I worked in a small but very competitive company.   I now realise on a number of occasions colleagues tried to check out if I punted. 

Beware others using your candour to their advantage.

[Plan R]

NO, don't tell anyone, some one I thought were closed friend has used it against me!

+1
I've had exactly this, a few years ago now but it was no fun.
It was a close friend who was just fucking stoooopid rather than malicious, but that didn't mater the fallout was the same either way. I recommend you blame the drink if it ever gets mentioned again.
Loose Lips Sink Ships !



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[claretandblue]

I know of someone in work, who see escorts, but has no idea that I do the same, but didn't tell everyone

I have seen what has gone on with the lad, after he told some of us, the ones who knew told other mates, and very soon everyone in work knows

Last year he was going out with someone, but soon broke up, as one of the females to this girl, and she was disgusted and didn't want to see him again ever, and even the parent got to hear about him, and the girls father threatened to knock his block of, if he comes near her

The guy is an idiot,clearly you dont just tell all and sundry but for those who say they wont tell anyone,I find that sad and would suggest they find better mates!

[GreyDave]

   I would steer well clear mate.

I believe / think I have some acquaintances that I have meet though punting and when I bump into them either at events or else where we are all ways discreet I would never mix the two and respect punting buddies away from the others who think I am a sad sack    

[vt]

Some salutory tales on here! 

To the OP, I would play it down with your mate as a drunken fantasy and don't let on to anyone in your real life about your punting, it's too juicy not to spread throughout your social circle and will come back to bite you. As soon as a female gets wind of it, it will get straight back to your OH with female solidarity and all that.

On the other hand, you can find 'safe' punting mates on here, should satisfy any need to share your secret and have a punting buddy as long as you keep the interaction purely about the punting.

I would also recommend trying a party or two, most offer MMF interaction with anonymous punters, maybe less off-putting than seeing your mate's cumface!! There are two guys on here I met at parties who I regularly converse and share info with and would call punting buddies and we have shared girls at parties.

More info on parties here. London is your best bet, I'd recommend Phoenix Club as a first introduction, as in the East there's only currently the overpriced Cambridge Parties.

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[5th Musketeer]

The only people who know that I have ever punted have been a very few of the small number of girls that I have met and one punter on here with whom I have corresponded, though we live far apart.  I would never admit to any of my day-to-day acquaintances that I was a punter.