London massage shop mini reviews

[kuck]

I've recently been to River Kwai a few times External Link/Members Only

The girls are older, but the massage is excellent. £40 for an hour. £20 for a HE (one girl, I forget her name, charged £30).

All the girls I've seen have single syllable names, but I can only remember two - Nid and Gin.

The massage has been consistently good with all girls, and I have always ended up extending time.

[finn5555]

I've recently been to River Kwai a few times External Link/Members Only

The girls are older, but the massage is excellent. £40 for an hour. £20 for a HE (one girl, I forget her name, charged £30).

All the girls I've seen have single syllable names, but I can only remember two - Nid and Gin.

The massage has been consistently good with all girls, and I have always ended up extending time.

Hope you shut your eyes they are ugly 

[kuck]

Hope you shut your eyes they are ugly 

You are right. Pretty much had my eyes shut in the dim room. I did notice an attractive one in the shop though, she was busy.

[The Vicar of Dibley]

External Link/Members Only

Thought I would take one for the team and try out this place in Kingston Surrey.

Gumtree ad looked (to me) to indicate the usual Chinese massage shop which would offer extras. Indeed when I got there and found the back entrance via a Halfords yard there was a neon sign reading Massage.

Greeted by a lady in her mid 30's who offered me tea, coffee or a soft drink then after handing me a menu with the types of massage listed on it proceeded to ask me a string of health related questions.   

Asked what a "30 minute relaxing massage" entailed? Back, shoulders, neck, legs and arms apparently.

Nope, she wasn't doing the massages, her colleague was. Out comes the colleague who if China had a rugby team would have made an excellent tight head prop forward. !!! (also had hair like Clarkson off Top Gear)

Made my excuses and left as they say in the papers.

[LLPunting]

Massages from the past couple of weeks.

Benita - Indulgence, Clapham.  40 for 60.  She's back from hols so went to see this pretty, late 30s, Thai lady.  5'2", pleasant, friendly manner, speaks good English.   
Good massage both med/firm and sensual aspects.  She spent too long on the therapy (I wasn't watching the clock as I've met her before) so the transition to extras happened with "15 mins" to go.   
Naked she looks great with a soft curvy body, natural Bs, shaved and sopping and I'd only been occasionally stroking her legs as she worked around the table.  Light FK against soft, willing lips.  RO then frottage to the finish over her tum, fingering to the outside, licking and sucking of her responsive nipples.   
Left her +40 like before but she asked for +60 
Shame, thought she was one for the regular list.  Worth a visit, especially if you're better at negotiating with sexy Thai SPs.

Nikky - Skyline/Emily's, Lewisham. 50 for 60.  Pretty (angular), 5'3", toned, petite, brunette from Poland in her late 20s.  She has a similar sexiness to Spanish Anna just without all the weed and money-making ideas.  She speaks great English.  A real spinner body with soft Bs and responsive, dark nipples, her imperfection is a slightly slack ass with some spots.   
Massage was ok (I left her to her default but you can probably tune it up), a few swipes and bumps along the way but nothing sensually wow.  Flipped just after the 30 mark, offered HR and B2B.  Accepted 40 for latter without quibble.  Out of her clothes she was very much to my liking, she claims to be a mum but her tum has no signs of stretch or c-section.   
A good load of mutual pleasuring.  No OW(O), No FS.  Enjoyed some RO.  HR to finish as I diddled her clit and entrance.   
May repeat and see if mileage improves.

[Modelduos]

Been frequenting Balance and Moonflower Earls Court. Moonflower previously reported Nikki buxom blonde early 30s European slapped my arse and got her norks out for 60 squid and did a good massage plus wank. At the weekend slim early 30s Chinese Michelle will do 69 no CIM for circa 120. Last time on a Friday got some miserable late 30s brunette Slavic type. Begrudgingly did the he for 30. Balance have had a couple of slim Chinese MILFs suck me off no CIM for circa 80. Meh. Prolly try harmony next I guess.     

[sparkus]

I've recently been to River Kwai a few times External Link/Members Only

The girls are older, but the massage is excellent. £40 for an hour. £20 for a HE (one girl, I forget her name, charged £30).

All the girls I've seen have single syllable names, but I can only remember two - Nid and Gin.

The massage has been consistently good with all girls, and I have always ended up extending time.

They do get some quite young girls, see the Facebook page. The young one I saw wanted 80 quid for topless HE and swore blind blokes pay it.

[Cervixbanger]

BB warning - Lulu, Forever Young, 201 North End Road, W14, works Wednesdays. Great, strong massage, easy negotiations - £40 for B2B, receptive to RO, fingers both holes etc - then offers BB pussy.
Yikes, ran a mile and only thankful that I never asked for OWO. For the record / aid avoidance - 40s, size 10/12, 5’ 6”, fringe, small tits, tattoo lower stomach.

All of 50 yards from well reported  BB yuyu at Yunji

W14 off my radar!

If she's only working at Forever Young on Weds, then clearly she must be at different TCMs on other days. To help with avoidance it would be useful to know these locations - anyone have any intel on her movements around other shops?

[kuck]

They do get some quite young girls, see the Facebook page. The young one I saw wanted 80 quid for topless HE and swore blind blokes pay it.

Thanks Sparkus, I will keep an eye out. I had a booking today, and when I got there, I was told I'll have to wait, as they had some walk-ins. The effeminate Thai guy at the reception was smiling, and didn't think it was a big deal.

I went to the Chinese place a few doors down, Golden Herbs - External Link/Members Only
I paid £30 for a 30 minute test run. It was a complete waste of time and money. Easily the worst massage ever. I have never had a massage where the therapist remains seated on a chair, and lazily wheels around. She asked me if I wanted to extend. "Fuck No".

Luckily, I was able to call and book with Natural Health on the same road. £40 for 60 mins + £40 for b2b. It was Lily. I've seen her a few times before. She's chubby, but great massage and attitude.

[sparkus]

Thanks Sparkus, I will keep an eye out. I had a booking today, and when I got there, I was told I'll have to wait, as they had some walk-ins. The effeminate Thai guy at the reception was smiling, and didn't think it was a big deal.

I went to the Chinese place a few doors down, Golden Herbs - External Link/Members Only
I paid £30 for a 30 minute test run. It was a complete waste of time and money. Easily the worst massage ever. I have never had a massage where the therapist remains seated on a chair, and lazily wheels around. She asked me if I wanted to extend. "Fuck No".

Luckily, I was able to call and book with Natural Health on the same road. £40 for 60 mins + £40 for b2b. It was Lily. I've seen her a few times before. She's chubby, but great massage and attitude.

Do you know who you saw at Golden Herbs?

As Saturday is her usual day there, I am assuming Lily is Lauren.

[kuck]

Do you know who you saw at Golden Herbs?

As Saturday is her usual day there, I am assuming Lily is Lauren.

Golden Herbs girl - not sure - maybe Mary. A tall middle-aged Chinese girl.

[LLPunting]

Been frequenting Balance and Moonflower Earls Court. Moonflower previously reported Nikki buxom blonde early 30s European slapped my arse and got her norks out for 60 squid and did a good massage plus wank. At the weekend slim early 30s Chinese Michelle will do 69 no CIM for circa 120. Last time on a Friday got some miserable late 30s brunette Slavic type. Begrudgingly did the he for 30. Balance have had a couple of slim Chinese MILFs suck me off no CIM for circa 80. Meh. Prolly try harmony next I guess.     

So in all cases you paid over the odds 
Please re-read the thread and understand the "proper" pricing for services. 
Also best you go to the doctor's and get that tattoo off your face that says "mug". 

Thanks for confirming that Earls Court is still a no go for reasonable massage. 

[Modelduos]

So in all cases you paid over the odds 
Please re-read the thread and understand the "proper" pricing for services. 
Also best you go to the doctor's and get that tattoo off your face that says "mug". 

Thanks for confirming that Earls Court is still a no go for reasonable massage. 

Meh wasn’t expecting a medal just calling it like it was

[Modelduos]

Also I’ve been lurking on this thread basically since inception. I’ve done the Fantasia 20/40 thing. Perfunctory b2b for 40 isn’t worth my while tbh. What I’ve had at both these places is sex on the massage table prolly more satisfactory than half an hour with a Chelsea Cloisters birdy. Similar pricing. Holy grail to me would be an early 20s stunner who would provide a sexual massage experience but after reading what most of u have said doesn’t seem to be available really. I pay circa 100 notes for ‘parlour’ sex in the East Midlands and again wouldn’t say these experiences were any worse. After reading a post on the review thread of an adultwork robbery it reinforces to me that Massage Parlours are ok and i’m paying for use of the facilities, a walk up experience and safety. Meh.

[LLPunting]

Also I’ve been lurking on this thread basically since inception. I’ve done the Fantasia 20/40 thing. Perfunctory b2b for 40 isn’t worth my while tbh. What I’ve had at both these places is sex on the massage table prolly more satisfactory than half an hour with a Chelsea Cloisters birdy. Similar pricing. Holy grail to me would be an early 20s stunner who would provide a sexual massage experience but after reading what most of u have said doesn’t seem to be available really. I pay circa 100 notes for ‘parlour’ sex in the East Midlands and again wouldn’t say these experiences were any worse. After reading a post on the review thread of an adultwork robbery it reinforces to me that Massage Parlours are ok and i’m paying for use of the facilities, a walk up experience and safety. Meh.

So you've had other encounters at these places but not mentioned these "spectacular" sessions or ladies?  Instead you thought you had to mention the 3 "perfunctory" visits you had, how sharing of you.

You've had 30 min sessions with all the girls in Chelsea Cloisters to make the comparison?

You're making your judgement based on Fantasia experiences as the benchmark for all parlours?

You're after a "sexual massage", what does that mean, you want a great massage and sex for under 100 for 30 mins?

[Modelduos]

So you've had other encounters at these places but not mentioned these "spectacular" sessions or ladies?  Instead you thought you had to mention the 3 "perfunctory" visits you had, how sharing of you.

You've had 30 min sessions with all the girls in Chelsea Cloisters to make the comparison?

You're making your judgement based on Fantasia experiences as the benchmark for all parlours?

You're after a "sexual massage", what does that mean, you want a great massage and sex for under 100 for 30 mins?

Mate don’t think I said I’d had spectacular massage sessions

I said I’d had sex on the massage table at Moonflower And Balance

And I described those punts in the original post I did here

Guess it depends how u define ‘sex’ as per Billy C

I was happy to pay what I paid

Beats being robbed via adultwork

Re Chelsea Cloisters Prolly Done Circa 20 Punts There

Can’t think of anything spectacular at all

Re Fantasia you chastised me for being unaware of the standard pricing

And having read pretty much all your and the other posts here

Was just saying I am aware of the 20/40 thang

And I think value is relative

Not sure what I expected to achieve with my post

I know u guys have been there done that and got the T shirt

But meh it’s all adding to the flavour of London massage I think

So it is what it is boss

...

Ps re the perfect massage sess would be an early 20s stunner with prolonged b2b and cim prolly and I’d pay upto 300 for that

[maybe]

Who did you see?

I saw Emma.

[thetinman007]

Has anyone negotiated the B2B massage from the beginning with the masseur proceed completely nude?

[jok32]

Has anyone negotiated the B2B massage from the beginning with the masseur proceed completely nude?

At ORBS and Skyline yes

[jamesbb]

Good question re BB Lulu - did ask about other shops but got no reply. At the risk of describing 50% of TCM ladies - more equine than bovine face, (would have been a looker in years past) smiley, wearing black dress, shoulder length straight hair with aforementioned fringe. Slight wrinkles above mouth - smoker? Sorry guys cannot remember anything more distinguishing...

[sparkus]

Golden Herbs girl - not sure - maybe Mary. A tall middle-aged Chinese girl.

Weird, not seen or heard of her there.

[Chorley]

After swearing off FBSM following jaded services, I found myself at Brent Cross on a shopping trip with a bad back and a raging horn. So much for abstinence 

Thought I'd give MeiThai in Hendon a call and managed to book an hour at £45. Saw Joy, a milfy Thai with a sexy accent.
No idea of age. Possibly 40's 
Decent massage, started off hard, but soon became sensual and she was groping from about 15minutes in. Loads of CC swipes, reach unders, rubbing the tip of my cock and massaging my balls

Turned over with about 20  to go and negotiated £45 for B2B. She had a petite fit body with B cup naturals and a pert bum. Not sure what she was on, but she seemed horny as fuck and and was snogging my face off. She got very wet when I fingered her and played with her coat hanger nips.

Could hold out no longer and had an explosive finish. Cleaned up and on my way. Of course YMMV, but my faith has been restored. 

[kuck]

Weird, not seen or heard of her there.

Any recommendations?

[sparkus]

Any recommendations?

Not recently, since Jenny L left there's only been Julie on (reviewed here), which is why I was surprised to see there's any other. 

[Titti Tatti]

Called Skyline aka "Emily's" today

Hi but could you please provide link?  Is this a shop what were I can walk in or strictly by appointment?

[LLPunting]

Hi but could you please provide link?  Is this a shop what were I can walk in or strictly by appointment?

Someone said they weren't advertising anymore but I found them in Gumtree under an ad by "Clair" in the Lewisham area.  I didn't save it, just added the number to my phone and presto chango all sorted.

[Jonestown]

Best to avoid Coco at Living Health FHS today/this week, she is on the blob.

[tomcat69]

Best to avoid Coco at Living Health FHS today/this week, she is on the blob.

what do you mean by blob?

[Modelduos]

what do you mean by blob?

[Cervixbanger]

what do you mean by blob?

Menstruating. On her period.

[Agent W]

what do you mean by blob?

It’s her Time Of The Month. She’s on the rag. She’s got the painters in. She’s Riding the Cotton Pony.

[Spartan20]

It’s her Time Of The Month. She’s on the rag. She’s got the painters in. She’s Riding the Cotton Pony.

You know what they say, when the river runs red... take the muddy path

[Speed Racer]

Seemed the right place to post this but don’t know if anyone else spotted the small article in last night’s evening standard:

External Link/Members Only

[alanarmstrong12345]

holy sh*t !!! Where do I apply for that council workers job??? 

Seemed the right place to post this but don’t know if anyone else spotted the small article in last night’s evening standard:

External Link/Members Only

[rebelsurge]

Terrible waste of taxpayers funds.

[jok32]

This kind of stuff would happen less if Ukp was registration only and to view / search more than twice a day you'd need to contribute

[stampjones]

Seemed the right place to post this but don’t know if anyone else spotted the small article in last night’s evening standard:

External Link/Members Only

Interesting name of the company. Did kelly own cheng xiang as well or maybe she just managed 66 and now SLBS

[sparkus]

So, just to clarify, is 66 Middlesex Street "worth checking out"?

[Kamaka]

Just goes to show what damage to much information can do to massage shops.
Do we really want to see these shops closed down?

[LLPunting]

Just goes to show what damage to much information can do to massage shops.
Do we really want to see these shops closed down?

I'm a fantasist officer.  Everything I write is a fabrication due to my condition.
External Link/Members Only

[sparkus]

Just goes to show what damage to much information can do to massage shops.
Do we really want to see these shops closed down?

I have alluded to this trade off before. We want the gen and tip offs but it's there for the world to see and act on.

I think in this case the Middlesex Street residents have had enough and want these businesses on Wentworth Street. They got Grace closed down (an act of sexual vandalism).

Perhaps we can organise some kind of fundraiser for Kelly's legal fees. Wank Aid? Hand Relief?

[LLPunting]

I have alluded to this trade off before. We want the gen and tip offs but it's there for the world to see and act on.

I think in this case the Middlesex Street residents have had enough and want these businesses on Wentworth Street. They got Grace closed down (an act of sexual vandalism).

Perhaps we can organise some kind of fundraiser for Kelly's legal fees. Wank Aid? Hand Relief?

Given all the other shops in the area why only Health One being singled out in the press?  Seems like someone's got it in for that shop.  More like sour grapes than a purge of the area.

So SLBS is a separate venture to remove herself from the milieu?

[sparkus]

Given all the other shops in the area why only Health One being singled out in the press?  Seems like someone's got it in for that shop.  More like sour grapes than a purge of the area.

So SLBS is a separate venture to remove herself from the milieu?

I suppose Wentworth Street has it contained and there's a few nice eateries popping up on Middlesex now so cahnsul might want the unit. I fucking brick it when OH suggests dinner at one of those eateries, not least as Kelly once banged on her shop window at me and beckoned me in.

[rebelsurge]

It appear to be Tower Hamlets Council with this agenda. Didn't they close down one recently in Canary Wharf.

[Quatro]

I wonder if the council would have left them alone if they were more subtle.

Any time I walked by it was pretty obvious what was on offer.

[sparkus]

I wonder if the council would have left them alone if they were more subtle.

Any time I walked by it was pretty obvious what was on offer.

I've probably seen Kelly's snatch more times for free walking past there than having paid for it.

[stampjones]

I wonder if the council would have left them alone if they were more subtle.

Any time I walked by it was pretty obvious what was on offer.

I think that has a lot to do with it - the others are way more subtle

[Jonestown]

If i owned and had money invested in a TCM shop I certainly wouldn’t let Kelly manage it, would anyone ?

[sparkus]

If i owned and had money invested in a TCM shop I certainly wouldn’t let Kelly manage it, would anyone ?

Not least as she doesn't charge much for extras herself.

[alexm40]

Seemed the right place to post this but don’t know if anyone else spotted the small article in last night’s evening standard:

interesting enough, another one: if you google "massage parlour shepherds bush road", pay particular attention to the 8th result (04/09/2018)... here s the direct link: External Link/Members Only