I did post this on another thread - still chortle about it though at the time I sure as hell wasn't laughing....
Not ill exactly but very awkward and fucking painful....a girl caught my Jap's eye with her tongue stud during owo, I felt a sharp pain and thought nothing of it until she came up for air and as I laid back and she started to put the condom on it starts bleeding....and won't stop, she starts going on about "you must have a kidney infection" and I'm saying, "no, I think you cut me with your tongue stud", we to and fro waiting for the bleeding to stop and I take her with me to the brightly lit bathroom for a further examination. We discover a tiny nick [I said tiny nick, cheeky] that still won't stop bleeding, she's apoplectic at this stage, apologising profusely and I'm deliriously happy that it's nothing serious, despite the fact I haven't cum and have no prospect of doing so for a while.
After around 15 minutes the bleeding thankfully stops, her flatmate returns, looks hot and after negotiation skills worthy of Rumpole of The Bailey I book a duo, at half price for the following week, so all ended well.