I can recall two, one was more surreal than funny, almost as if I was in a parallel universe to the WG in question.
Summer 2013 East London
With a Polish WG who shared a two bedroom flat with another WG. We were getting very intimate (was performing cunnilingus on
her) when all of a sudden a huge shaven headed bloke barges into the room. Poor guy, his expression was one of being totally
dumbfounded, as if "I shouldn't be in this room". The girl I was with, leapt out of bed and ushered him out of the room. The other WG
had left this guy (fellow punter it transpired) stranded in no man's land where both of the rooms doors shut and he thought the room
he should go to was where I happened to be situated in.
Spring 2008 North Acton, London
This is the surreal account. It took place in a flat based in North Acton, where I met a Polish WG (via awork) who also shared the flat with at least two other Polish WGs, and one stern looking lady (presumably the madam). I knocked on the door which was opened by one of her flatmates, and was ushered into a room. I noticed quite a few items were packed up (as if someone was either leaving the flat or just moved in). There was a delay, then the girl I was visiting duly appeared to collect the fee.
She went out of the room with the money (passed the bundles to the stern looking lady presumably) and came back in. It was a 90minute booking, think I paid in the region of £170-00. The first bout lasted for about 30minutes, and actually wasn't too bad, some excellent OWO/RO and quite energetic protected sex. After climaxing she disappears (assumed she went to the bathroom).
I was lying on the bed for about ten minutes when the madam walks into the room. I said to her "Hi, what's up? Where's the girl gone to?". Madam responds, "she's gone". Startled I replied "Gone? Where has she gone to?". The madam said "she's gone, walked out of the flat and disappeared". I was totally perplexed, and replied "Why has she walked out of the flat? Our appointment was for 90minutes, and barely half way through?". Madam responds, "she's just gone away, now you must leave".
I was completely in a daze, thinking "Is this some kind of comedy of errors being played out here?". My initial response to Madam's demand for me to leave was "OK, I'll leave but perhaps you could be so kind in refunding me half the fee, and allow me a few minutes to quickly shower and dress?" Madam replies, "Sorry hun, the girl took your money and has walked out of the flat. She's gone, now you must leave. No time for shower, just leave the flat as we are moving away to another London location. Please leave sir".
"Marvellous!" I thought. There was nothing I could really do but get dressed and leave, minus £85-00 I should have got refunded.
If the above wasn't surreal, bizarre, weird enough, then the next part totally blew me away. Later on I received an sms from the girl I was with (the one who mysteriously disappeared). Her message was "Where are you, why did you leave me?". I replied, "What do you mean I left you? you're the one who disappeared without a trace, even your flatmates didn't know where you went to?".
She then replied "I was ill, why did I make her ill" (accusatory sense), that she "went to the pharmacy" and when she returned her flatmates said "your client just disappeared". Then to cap it all off, she said "where's my money, I owe her money for at least 45minutes of the booking?" Now it was like "I'm in the Twilight Zone, truly another parallel universe". Point by point I rebutted her.
For instance, "What do you mean I made you ill?" She responded that "You were too energetic during sex". I politely replied "Then for heaven's sake why didn't you say I was too energetic with my humping, I would have eased off!". I reminded her that I gave her the full £170-00 which she took from me at the beginning of the session. That was the last I ever saw of my wad. She replied "my friends told me you took all the money back, not leaving a penny for the first session we had". I countered this with replying that when she departed the flat, her madam had informed me that you had disappeared and took all the money with you, and I was told to leave the flat without any partial refund. She again replied "But you took all the money when you left? Why did you leave me?".
Anyway this surreal sms exchange lasted for about 15minutes, when finally the penny dropped, she realised that I was telling the truth, but mystified as to why her friends would take all the money and leave her out of pocket. I simply replied, "Babe, I honestly don't know but believe you need to think very carefully how and with whom you choose as your friends for future reference. I repeat yet again, I'm out of pocket by £85-00, ALL the money (£170) I gave to you, and assuming you gave this sum to the madam, then it is with her you need to take this up regarding retrieving what you were meant to receive." That was the end of our sms exchange, never heard back from her again.
My head was in a spin for at least 24hours post session before finally realising that I'm still on planet earth, didn't actually go into some time warp or wormhole in space. Truly bizarre episode.