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Author Topic: What do you do when your wife knows that you have been punting.  (Read 10308 times)

Offline Tailpipe

There's been three times when I have seen girls I've been with on TV and almost said something in surprise, in front of the wife.


Lex TV girls who when I am impressed . PM if you will not post. :rolleyes:

If my ex made me watch some crap on TV , all I had to do was say she's hot .
That programme would never be on again if I was around  :D

Offline Tailpipe

I've been married three times now, so I've learned to be good at subterfuge and covering my tracks. I do this for two reasons:

1. I don't want to get caught or found out
2. I have enough respect for the current and previous Mrs Nuts's for me not to want them to have to deal with this sort of thing

But if you do get found out, my advice to any guy is to flatly deny it. Even if the evidence is staring you in the face, still deny it.

Why? Because your wife WANTS to believe you. Stick to your story through thick and thin.

Lipstick stains on your shirt? A woman fainted on the tube and you had to pick her up and carry her to a seat on the platform.
Odd perfume on you? Same answer
Mobile phone has record of unknown numbers? Mate/colleague has been using YOUR phone to book tarts

and so on...

Trust me, it's the best way to get through it. You might have a few hours or even days of hell, but then you'll be all fine again. And your wife will respect YOU for not wanting to burden her with an unpalatable truth.

The cracks will have been papered over, and you're good to go, all over again.



Good post but does not work with all wife's

Offline Tailpipe

There have been some great posts and funny ones on this subject .

But there must be some other members that got caught surely I am not the only one .

Offline lovingfacials

I've been married three times now, so I've learned to be good at subterfuge and covering my tracks. I do this for two reasons:

1. I don't want to get caught or found out
2. I have enough respect for the current and previous Mrs Nuts's for me not to want them to have to deal with this sort of thing

But if you do get found out, my advice to any guy is to flatly deny it. Even if the evidence is staring you in the face, still deny it.

Why? Because your wife WANTS to believe you. Stick to your story through thick and thin.

Lipstick stains on your shirt? A woman fainted on the tube and you had to pick her up and carry her to a seat on the platform.
Odd perfume on you? Same answer
Mobile phone has record of unknown numbers? Mate/colleague has been using YOUR phone to book tarts

and so on...

Trust me, it's the best way to get through it. You might have a few hours or even days of hell, but then you'll be all fine again. And your wife will respect YOU for not wanting to burden her with an unpalatable truth.

The cracks will have been papered over, and you're good to go, all over again.

Reminds me of the Shaggy song 'Wasnt me'................KN your spot on tho, the wife would prefer to be convinced there is another explanation to the allegations, its simply finding an out, hence I always leave myself 'wiggle room'

i/e Never punt in an area I have no reason to be in, have a plausible ir semi -plausible reason for being in a place at a selected time, also I mention a lot 'ohhh Eric at work got his phone/pc/laptop hacked'............she once said to me 'hes an unlucky bloke that eric'

but its all planting seeds in case I ever need to spin a story to extract myself from a squeaky bum time momment

Tony Montana


Lex TV girls who when I am impressed . PM if you will not post. :rolleyes:

If my ex made me watch some crap on TV , all I had to do was say she's hot .
That programme would never be on again if I was around  :D

Not famous TV stars, they were

1. kinkydirtybitch (AW) who was on a sex chat program and is in several music videos
2. A girl from Sandys Superstars who was on Snog, Marry, Avoid
3. A model called Tania Amazon who is not a WG, but used to be a feature dancer at strip pubs in London I frequented.  She appeared on one of those bloopers programmes flashing her boobs behind a news reporter.

Offline Tailpipe

Lex


Still good man. Class  :hi:


Few ex babe station around but never fancied it .

Should not matter but they are as thick as shit  :rolleyes:

Quote from: Tony Montana link=topic=13082.msg199654#msg199654 date=13681729
2. A girl from Sandys Superstars who was on Snog, Marry, Avoid
[/quote

Which girl was it? BTW

Back on subject I suppose, always have a slush fund to get you by rough living for a few days til she's calmed down and be able to access it without having to get back into the house

Keep your financial stuff (statements, pension, savings etc) somewhere safe (like at work) you don't wanna make it too easy for her to ruin you by having all this lot neatly filed in the wardrobe for her to present to her solicitors




Reminds me of the Shaggy song 'Wasnt me'................KN your spot on tho, the wife would prefer to be convinced there is another explanation to the allegations, its simply finding an out, hence I always leave myself 'wiggle room'

i/e Never punt in an area I have no reason to be in, have a plausible ir semi -plausible reason for being in a place at a selected time, also I mention a lot 'ohhh Eric at work got his phone/pc/laptop hacked'............she once said to me 'hes an unlucky bloke that eric'

but its all planting seeds in case I ever need to spin a story to extract myself from a squeaky bum time momment

+1

Keeping a few items in the boot (golf club, fishing tackle etc) that way if you smash the car somewhere you're not supposed to be you can say "I was just picking this up won it on eBay" etc



Good post but does not work with all wife's

I've yet to meet the one it doesn't work with.

End of the day, it's down to you not blinking first. It's cojones, dude.


But there must be some other members that got caught surely I am not the only one .

Years ago, I got caught out. Girl had come round my place. Wife was away for a few days. I gave the flat a thorough cleaning, but missed one vital thing: and one long blonde hair (my then-missus was a brunette) in a hairbrush.

Then-Mrs, being something of an amateur sleuth, got very suspicious. I made up a story on the spot. Wasn't a great one, but it was good enough, and the best I could do under the circs. I stuck to it for the several days of hell that followed.

Then, maybe on day 5, the clouds cleared and the sun came out again. The matter was never referred to again.


King Nuts

It cant work every single time as you have been married three times

Considering I bull shitted my way out of loads of situations with the ex wife, there comes a time unless you have married a really thick trusting woman when they see through the lies

King Nuts

It cant work every single time as you have been married three times

Considering I bull shitted my way out of loads of situations with the ex wife, there comes a time unless you have married a really thick trusting woman when they see through the lies

That's not the reason I've been divorced twice though.

They may 'see through the lies' but that doesn't necessarily mean they want to break up with you.

Sometimes, women (men too) know there's some deceit going on, but see it as preferable to live with it, knowing that their partner is doing their best to conceal it.





It makes sense. If you have a private sim card or punting phone and private email address why not have a private AW account as well.  That way if she ever does find AW in your browsing history as we do all make mistakes and may forget to hide it you can say a friend said it was a good porn site so you joined to have a look and saw it was for escorts and never bothered with it again :D

If you are going to protect yourself then make sure you do it properly

Adjust your browser settings delete all history on exit. Google chrome has a panic button instantly turns off the screen.

Offline LL

i/e Never punt in an area I have no reason to be in, have a plausible ir semi -plausible reason for being in a place at a selected time, also I mention a lot 'ohhh Eric at work got his phone/pc/laptop hacked'............she once said to me 'hes an unlucky bloke that eric'
Haha, does "Eric" even exist?!?
So I guess you can't invite your wife to any office parties then. Your wife might ask, "so when can I meet this 'Eric' I've heard so much about?"

Offline Daffodil

If your wife catches you it's game over. Surely no question.

Also the problem with feedback on AW, and even posting here, is that she may have a black and white record of your infidelity.

Women are bloody suspicious. Even the smallest thing can make them dig deeper. Now and then I have a bit of glitter on me. Fuck knows where it comes from most of the time, but she sees it and you can see the cogs turning. Of course that's not evidence enough, but it might make her start trying to snoop through your phone/emails etc. After that, not long until it all unravels.

Just taking precautions, like locking your phone, will draw suspicion.

It's amazing any guy gets away with it at all!

Offline lovingfacials

Haha, does "Eric" even exist?!?
So I guess you can't invite your wife to any office parties then. Your wife might ask, "so when can I meet this 'Eric' I've heard so much about?"

LL

your assumption is correct Eric does not exist, although she does come to events through work, ...........Eric is an example of a number of blokes including known mates that things have happened to, that I se to give somw 'wiggle room'


Offline Tailpipe

If your wife catches you it's game over. Surely no question.

Also the problem with feedback on AW, and even posting here, is that she may have a black and white record of your infidelity.

Women are bloody suspicious. Even the smallest thing can make them dig deeper. Now and then I have a bit of glitter on me. Fuck knows where it comes from most of the time, but she sees it and you can see the cogs turning. Of course that's not evidence enough, but it might make her start trying to snoop through your phone/emails etc. After that, not long until it all unravels.

Just taking precautions, like locking your phone, will draw suspicion.

It's amazing any guy gets away with it at all!


This post is spot on says it all +1

One of the reasons I stopped (apart from the money part) was that the thought of my Mrs being hurt was preying more and more on my mind. We have a really good relationship apart from me having a fairly high sex drive and her now having an almost zero one since the kids came along. I always think I was more jammy in that I work in tech and she's pretty computer and mobile phone illiterate so the danger of being caught was always fairly low unless I fucked up big style.

One thing that has always intrigued me about those mumsnet threads (awful place by the way, just a massive pissing contest in the main but I digress) is that the women posting about finding the AW account are pretty much of the mind that it must be some sort of misunderstanding. Actually, it ends up with the rest of the shitehawks on mumsnet stirring the shit to persuade her he's guilty as hell and banging lots of AIDS riddled crack whores in alleys. So the point made before about wifes giving benefit of the doubt may not be too far from the truth to be honest.

I do not even want to read this thread any more ....

Offline IluvPussy

What do you say when your wife knows that you have been punting.

"Darling wife, you know when I provide you with a nice semi-detached house, a second-hand 4 x 4, and a half-board holiday in the Mediterranean every February, and you say it's just not enough? Well, when you suck my cock for ten seconds once a month, guess what - it's not enough."
If I can't wiggle out of it, not had the problem, yet. Hands in the air, yes I did, no, I won't contest the divorce.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2013, 09:07:54 PM by IluvPussy »
Banning reason: Previously banned for making pedo allegations

Actually been caught red handed. Or should that be red phoned! If was the day of my 50th birthday. Thought I would treat myself to a special punt. Long story short, Mrs Madeinwales saw the text I had sent this during my celebration party in the evening. I hadn't deleted it. Suffice to say she wasn't happy. In fact, it was probably the most expensive punt of my life.

Offline IluvPussy

Actually been caught red handed. Or should that be red phoned! If was the day of my 50th birthday. Thought I would treat myself to a special punt. Long story short, Mrs Madeinwales saw the text I had sent this during my celebration party in the evening. I hadn't deleted it. Suffice to say she wasn't happy. In fact, it was probably the most expensive punt of my life.
Go on, what you had to buy her, and I bet she didn't get the irony!
Banning reason: Previously banned for making pedo allegations

Offline Dani

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If you get caught but she has no solid proof. deny deny deny.  most women will not want to know the truth even if they suspect it.  A plausible excuse i.e I was horny but did not want to bother you so looked at pictures online to wank to should be good enough.  she will sulk a bit but that's better than the alternative

If she has proof and you don't want a divorce then beg for forgiveness and don't do the usual "its your fault as you don't give me sex" as this will just annoy the fuck out of her.  Its better to say you did not want to keep bothering her when you know she would feel obliged even though she did not want to do it and you foolishly went elsewhere after JIM/BOB/Terry at work was telling you his wife never wants sex so he saw this escort and it meant he did not have to pester his wife or hurt her by having an affair so you thought you would give it ago and you wish you hadn't as all you did was think about your wife the whole time so you could not get hard and ended up leaving without doing anything as you were feeling like you had betrayed her and cannot stop thinking about what a twat you have been and how your selfishness might cost you your marriage

She will be angry but will not be as angry as if you said yes I shagged the escort.   A plausible lie will be good enough for most women

If doing that make sure she knows you did not mention your lack of sex life to Bob/Jim/terry as this will cause even more problems

I am hoping it was slippers and a dildo

as it least if she didnt like the slippers she could go fuck herself

Offline IluvPussy

It all depends on circumstances to be honest. So many variables, one size does not fit all.

My post on this thread was from MY situation.
Banning reason: Previously banned for making pedo allegations


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