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Author Topic: Before a punt  (Read 6779 times)

Offline Marmalade

just out of curiosity, what do you say when you can't climax?

I'm always weary of it happening to me and imagine it would be awkward

I had a boring one this week. Nice girl trying her hardest too hard in fact - beginner trying to tick boxes. She's tried everything she's read or heard about and doing it really conscientiously but they are transparent attempts and a bit naff. End of her shift as well. She's even tried, as 'sensitively' as she can, a bit of faked increase-it-like-I'm-gonna-come breathing.  I'm still shafting away but sod all is happening.  I catch her eye -it's full of doe-look 'what do I do know appeal.'

Just at that moment we hear some noise from the next room. I give her a studied look then launch into a loud and boisterous fake climax. We both 'explode' laughing.

Funnily enough, the laughing produced some very agreeable clenching of vaginal muscles.

Crap review?

My first was the opposite.

I couldn't even get hard, despite her being very handy.

I put it down to nerves, as the following punts have been fine.

Also, I tend to let one go the day before too so as not to be over eager on the day.

Marmalade - does an honest review mean a crap one ?

Wiltsboy01

Yep same here - bang one out the day before.  Stops any unpleasantries as I'm a one-pop bloke nowadays!

If she is totally fucking hot I only book 30 mins as the little fella can tell he's not in the Mrs and blows his beans :)

Offline Tailpipe

Yep same here - bang one out the day before.  Stops any unpleasantries as I'm a one-pop bloke nowadays!

If she is totally fucking hot I only book 30 mins as the little fella can tell he's not in the Mrs and blows his beans :)


 :rolleyes:

Wiltsboy01

Nice girl trying her hardest too hard in fact - beginner trying to tick boxes. She's tried everything she's read or heard about and doing it really conscientiously but they are transparent attempts and a bit naff.

I'd love that - for some reason it makes me wanna try her.  Was she on the now-knackered-one or an Indie?

I second that !

Maybe she needs an old hand(s) to help.

I take the point about trusting other reviews, but have a slight and possibly unfounded fear of agencies.

Offline johnof10

My first was the opposite.

I couldn't even get hard, despite her being very handy.

I put it down to nerves, as the following punts have been fine.

Also, I tend to let one go the day before too so as not to be over eager on the day.

Marmalade - does an honest review mean a crap one ?

What did you say to her when that happened? that's exactly what is worrying me about my first booking in a few weeks

Offline Marmalade

I'd love that - for some reason it makes me wanna try her.  Was she on the now-knackered-one or an Indie?

ive not reviewed her yet. Youngish EE sauna girl. from what I said so far, would you post it in good or negative reviews?

What did you say to her when that happened? that's exactly what is worrying me about my first booking in a few weeks

She was very understanding about the whole thing.

I told her at the start it was my first punt, and that I was nervous and feeling strange.

It was still a good hour, and I managed to 'spill my beans' albeit with a half-limp dick.

ive not reviewed her yet. Youngish EE sauna girl. from what I said so far, would you post it in good or negative reviews?

My vote is for good.

It doesn't sound like a negative experience. She was trying her hardest by your description of it, and you had a connection.

Offline ManBat

If I knocked one out before a punt I'd probably phone her up and say I'm finished and then have a little nap.

+1
Banning reason: Long suspected to be previously banned but now alleged to be posting fake positive reviews to pretend to be genuine

Offline martynx8

Yep same here - bang one out the day before.  Stops any unpleasantries as I'm a one-pop bloke nowadays!

If she is totally fucking hot I only book 30 mins as the little fella can tell he's not in the Mrs and blows his beans :)

Thank you for this absolute gem of a reply, Wiltsboy. I can hardly stop laughing at your second sentence which almost reduced me to tears. So bloody witty; and yet, so true!!

As an old codger, I can readily identify with your observations but I would have been hard put to convey them with such succinct humour. I love reading the good-spirited exchanges on UKP; there are a lot of real wags out there and your posts invariably make good reading.

Every good wish,

Martynx8

Thank you for this absolute gem of a reply, Wiltsboy. I can hardly stop laughing at your second sentence which almost reduced me to tears. So bloody witty; and yet, so true!!

As an old codger, I can readily identify with your observations but I would have been hard put to convey them with such succinct humour. I love reading the good-spirited exchanges on UKP; there are a lot of real wags out there and your posts invariably make good reading.

Every good wish,

Martynx8

That's "wags" as in "witty people"; not "people who stay in a different hotel from the England football team before a tournament", eh Martyn? ;)  :)

Taxi for R L!

Offline Nemo

A very individual thing. I sometimes have a wank on the day of a punt beforhand, makes no difference to my punt. Essential for me is to ensure i dont get friction burns on my cock so i always use Lube. I had to give up three hours into a four hour party once due to a friction burn.

Respect.
Not something that's likely to happen to me, the way I go about things. And I don't think any girl's going to find herself with a sore fanny after servicing me either - I'm a pretty light-duty punter. But I'm glad to hear these things happen.

Offline smiths

Respect.
Not something that's likely to happen to me, the way I go about things. And I don't think any girl's going to find herself with a sore fanny after servicing me either - I'm a pretty light-duty punter. But I'm glad to hear these things happen.

Sadly i didnt get that friction burn from shagging Mr Bloom, i got it from wanking my own cock and not using enough lube. :scare: :D

Offline snips



Offline Nemo

Sadly i didnt get that friction burn from shagging Mr Bloom, i got it from wanking my own cock and not using enough lube. :scare: :D

Another illusion gone!

Offline martynx8

That's "wags" as in "witty people"; not "people who stay in a different hotel from the England football team before a tournament", eh Martyn? ;)  :)

Taxi for R L!

Well spotted RL; I missed that acronym completely although even I understand what it means.

Martyn.

Curious6705

I just remembered another little trick I have done a couple of times.... I am glad it is anonymous on here cos some of this is embarrassing !

A long time ago I was working away from home and having regular sex with a couple of different girlfriends that were quite happy for me to bang them bareback and on many occasions I wouldn't actually cum as I got very good at controlling it. When I got home after a week or so I banged my live in girlfriend on the first night and came absolute bucket-loads ... I mean it was like one of those fake adverts you see on porn sites, unbelievable amount.

So I applied this logic a while ago and a few days before a punt that I had booked, I kept grabbing 5 mins to have a cheeky wank but not get to the end. Even just when I popped in the bog for a slash i would have a quick tug. Anyway it worked a treat when it came to the punt as I came at least double my usual amount which is great when you can spray it over their tits. I think it sort of starts releasing it and storing it in your balls. I would highly recommend giving this a go, makes you feel like a proper pornstar !

I read in a "Joy of Sex" type book [ it might even have been JoY ] that wanking without cumming an hour or so before is a good way to increase spunk volume.

I prefer to leave it alone for a few days before if possible - imagining I will enjoy it more. I did read that cumming regularly and often helps fend off prostate disease - so regular wanking is good for you.

Offline Andre 3000

I just remembered another little trick I have done a couple of times.... I am glad it is anonymous on here cos some of this is embarrassing !

A long time ago I was working away from home and having regular sex with a couple of different girlfriends that were quite happy for me to bang them bareback and on many occasions I wouldn't actually cum as I got very good at controlling it. When I got home after a week or so I banged my live in girlfriend on the first night and came absolute bucket-loads ... I mean it was like one of those fake adverts you see on porn sites, unbelievable amount.

So I applied this logic a while ago and a few days before a punt that I had booked, I kept grabbing 5 mins to have a cheeky wank but not get to the end. Even just when I popped in the bog for a slash i would have a quick tug. Anyway it worked a treat when it came to the punt as I came at least double my usual amount which is great when you can spray it over their tits. I think it sort of starts releasing it and storing it in your balls. I would highly recommend giving this a go, makes you feel like a proper pornstar !

I do this regularly and you're right it does lead to better sensitivity and bigger loads. I also tie this in with drinking plenty of water and eating fruit.

Offline Tailpipe

I just remembered another little trick I have done a couple of times.... I am glad it is anonymous on here cos some of this is embarrassing !

A long time ago I was working away from home and having regular sex with a couple of different girlfriends that were quite happy for me to bang them bareback and on many occasions I wouldn't actually cum as I got very good at controlling it. When I got home after a week or so I banged my live in girlfriend on the first night and came absolute bucket-loads ... I mean it was like one of those fake adverts you see on porn sites, unbelievable amount.

So I applied this logic a while ago and a few days before a punt that I had booked, I kept grabbing 5 mins to have a cheeky wank but not get to the end. Even just when I popped in the bog for a slash i would have a quick tug. Anyway it worked a treat when it came to the punt as I came at least double my usual amount which is great when you can spray it over their tits. I think it sort of starts releasing it and storing it in your balls. I would highly recommend giving this a go, makes you feel like a proper pornstar !


this is a priceless Quote Love it  :)

I never have a wank the day of a punt, that's like the 1 day i won't lol..

Offline Andre 3000

I never have a wank the day of a punt, that's like the 1 day i won't lol..

The most I'd do is have a quick 1 min pull half an hour before showtime.


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