Blimey – not many recommendations of late for the good Athens of the North! Let’s see …
Made a few prep notes in my auto-censored – one of those miniature Moleskin jobs with tear out pages for the ‘evidence’ – and set off. I’d listed four. Just essential details mind you –Sexy Aliyah
, 24y £50 (30m) 07766-58-9609 Leith.Lucrezia
29y soft lighting massage and HE, £50(30m) 075722-71233, nrPlayhouse.Lanya
(who I’ve seen before) 21y ‘no SMS,’ £70 30m 0758-645-2832.Joanne
21y £80 30m, 078-717-48-64.
I’m halfway up the street and realise I’ve not noted down the gorgeous Sweet n Petite
– bugger, she’s good – but we’ll see what we can do with the list as is.
First to check out a bit of rough. I’ve nothing against posh prossies – if there is such a thing – but Adultwork is a bit like shopping at Tescos. Sometimes it’s nice to just go down the market and have a look – even if you don’t buy. The fanny market in Auld Reekie is down by the Shore. At least it was. Then some posh houses got built and the new residents decided, having moved to a prostitute area, that they didn’t like prostitutes. So the authorities obligingly moved ‘em (the prostitutes, that is) up the road to the land of muslims and industrial estates. As you can guess, this gave them a hard time, even before the police got new draconian powers to harass consenting adults instead of fighting crime.
So a bus down to Sally street. (Salamander Street, to the uninitiated!) Ironically, the bus to rough is a new posh one – with an animated screen telling you where to get off, how long it will take, and where to change buses if you change your mind. New extortionate fares in keeping with the poshness – a bit like AW ads.
It’s cold enough to freeze an eskimo’s bollocks off when I alight. Walk down to Salamander Crescent. This is where the fanny slappers are often corralled. There’s a couple out for a walk with a dog looking well-dressed. Plain clothes? Nah – I’m being paranoid. Their dog has a hard time not stopping at the kerb. Police with untrained doggies? – I don’t think so somehow. Into Sally Cres and it has that instantly dodgy look, in spite of the nice new housing development. A hoodie is making a quick exit from the carpark. One side of the road is covered with plastic roadwork barriers like a giant Lego set. Get a needle pointed at you on the fenced-off pavement and you could be buggered! Cross over. Not a fucking skirt in sight. Turn right at the lights, walk along Sally Street. This is a bit more open but still not the area where you want to get your shiny little prossie-phone out, peer over the screen, while it sheds enough light to illuminate the ‘mug me’ sign on your forehead. Likewise, my cash is stashed in different pockets. Always have the right money.
I get to the lights at Seafield Services and still no totty. Terrible. I blame drug abuse myself. Taking the stuff so they don’t feel the cold and get on working is one thing, but using it at home for fuck all except Coronation Street is a waste. Where am I going to get a shag ffs??
At the start of the Meadows I get me cheap phone out and send a text to Lucrezia. I figure I need a massage just to thaw my testicles. No answer. I walk to the next bus stop and text Lanya. At least she replies back, and with a bit of banter, though she’s finished working for the day. Lazy cow. That leaves the two Leithers. Fuck it. A bus comes and I jump on it. Get off and soothe my frustration with a G+T at a pub. Start chatting up the barmaid then a text comes through from Lucrezia. A quick bit of back-n-forth and we’re on.
Nice flat. Sophisticatedly Bohemian. Foucault on the bookshelf. Hers? Boyfriend’s? Just part of the ‘furnishing?’ Lucrezia is slim, nice tits with perky nips, and goes some distance to do a classy job … candles casting shadows … extra tenner if you want a finger up your arse. To give her credit, she’s written a very intelligent profile, very clear about her services, and looks more like a professional masseuse – a sexy one – than a prossie.
Now some of you might ask, if Lanya was off, why not one of the others in her ‘clan’? – Lizzie, Isla, Scarlete,* to name a few. These are the ‘student’ –ish crowd. They start off at least believably as students of some sort, nice and chirpy, then one of two things happens: a) they make loadsa dough and bank it in six weeks never to sell their fannies again; or b) they keep at it until their eyes take on that empty look. It’s that “no-one’s at home” gaze where you know you are renting a body plus a few polite bits and pieces but fuck-all in personality. If you dig gently, you find the “lost all hope” waif that is not a far cry from Sally street slappers – just that the sally-slappers are more brazen about it and will often rip you off given the chance (whereas the student lot never do and, on top, always try to give a good service). What they have in common is that they’ve both been banged more often than a shithouse door in a gale - and they know it.
Let’s take Scarlete. She used to get top ratings. Lovely wee body, nice personality, but she’s just been doing it maybe a tad too long to give it any ‘ooomph.’ She does an honest job, doesn’t rush you (I’ve stayed well over my time just giving her a wee embrace afterwards). She’s actually very sweet as well. But I just wish she’d take a holiday or a break and come back with some daisies. Lizzie isn’t at that stage yet. When I saw her she was still suffering slightly from the other bane – inexperience. Lovely looker – but will she stay until she her body does it by rote (a la Blow Job Queen
) or will she take the money and bank it? Lanya I find fun, but that might be just me. I was very clear from the start – me, customer … you, service provider … do what I say, young girl! And as a slightly natural sub, she does it with good cheer and a smile that’s almost a giggle at times. But she can be slapdash too. If Scarlete has forgotten where the make-up counter in Superdrug is, Lanya has at least made a splodgy attempt … half-applied lippy, that sort of thing.
Tbh any of these girls would strike me as good value abroad (including Isla, who’s somewhere in between) – but if I were paying half the price or less. At Embra prices it is exaggerating to call them vfm or – heaven help us – posh!!!*These ladies have had to move! If you know the address, please do not give out details on the forum - it's quite unnecessary to say more than 'Meadowbank area' and can cause needles hassles once the abolitionists start calling on their neighbours to get the exact address and then petitioning the landlords.