Feel like I've been dumped

[cheekychapito]

Not even sure what the point of this post is but here goes.

I suppose you could say I'm feeling dumped. The long and short of it is I have been seeing a WG consistently for around 3 years as a long term regular. Said girl has dropped off the scene and I've not heard a thing for a few months.

Throughout my tenure with this fine lady I do admit I have grown accustomed to the times I would visit. We got on extremely well from the get go and often shared life tales (pillow talk) and developed somewhat of a bond, even during the act. Or at least it felt that way.

I knew it would never last forever and the boundaries between work and life were never crossed other than talking but her essential disappearance has left me feeling a little confused.

Obviously there is a selfish desire to have that "last meet" or even just to know that she's retired and living a conventional life etc. I know I'm not owed an explanation but I just feel that after the years that have been put in that maybe just a little message would have been fitting.

I dunno am I being ridiculously fluffy or was this brand of gfe that good?

Anyone else had any similar experiences?

[LL]

Obviously there is a selfish desire to have that "last meet" or even just to know that she's retired and living a conventional life etc. I know I'm not owed an explanation but I just feel that after the years that have been put in that maybe just a little message would have been fitting.

I dunno am I being ridiculously fluffy or was this brand of gfe that good?

Try to see it from her perspective. I'm sure that you wouldn't have been her only regular. So you'd built up a bond with her over the years and others will have done too. It's hard for you to let go but imagine how she must feel. She might find it very difficult to say goodbye to all her clients. She's perhaps decided that it's easier for her to just make a clean break from her old life of escorting and just move on without any regrets. Maybe something happened during her escorting that caused her to resent it. Have you ever had a job that you grew to resent so much that you felt like just walking away without stopping to say a word to anybody? And what happens when you do announce to your employer that you're leaving? Often they will try to get you to stay on, by offering more money or even a guilt trip! I think that could apply to retiring escorts too. Most regulars would want to see her one last time. They might try to convince her not to quit. Some might want to discuss her decision at length.

No I don't think you're being fluffy - if that's how long you'd been seeing her than I understand it must be difficult. This is the kind of question that would be well-suited to UKE as you'll get responses from escorts too.

[Blackpool Rock]

My initial thought was fluffy or EAS however I do know what you mean about building a rapport with a regular girl, i've said to a couple of regulars to tell me they are giving it up so i can punt them a few extra times before they finish.

[itk]

Going through very similar at the moment, albeit with a SB from the Seeking Arrangement site. I'd seen here at least once a week, sometimes three times a week for the last 3 months and I'd never paid her a penny although I had spent money on gifts for her.
Looking back we had got too close, I'd stayed around hers several times, even met her family and we had become like a couple doing the mundane things like shopping together. I had ended it once before but we got back together and the sex was unbelievable, you name it and I'd done it with her, but last week after I'd mentioned I wouldn't pack up and walk out of my house and family she went a tad crazy. Stupid text messages followed by her then blocking all forms of communication with me, today will be especially hard to take as Wednesday was the always the day I'd spend with her. 
Hard to take at the minute but a punt with a WG or another SB should get her out of my system, and in a month or two when I look back I'm sure I'll be glad to be free from her and the problems she's currently dealing with.

[cheekychapito]

Thanks for the understanding comments. I think the first reply is right that I should be more considerate of the girls perspective so I shall process that.

I think maybe I need/ed a closure meet. It's the sudden drop off, but it's very true something could have happened that necessitated a clean break. Oh well.

Cheers

[PleadInsanity]

Not a position i think i would find myself in but can certainly see how a relationship/habit can build over time only for it to stop suddenly leaving you feeling a little lost.

Have to say that reading this thread it is great to see a little support and understanding for the OP from his fellow brothers

[MrMatrix]

I've been there OP. Some of us are more vulnerable to this sort of thing than others. It does get easier as time goes by, but you don't forget. I try to look back and think for a moment in time I was lucky to have enjoyed someone like this. As punters there are loads of SP's who will tick the box in the same way. I personally don't want to get hurt again so I will not be going down this route again. You must move on- we simply have no choice. 

[Diehard]

Not even sure what the point of this post is but here goes.

I suppose you could say I'm feeling dumped. The long and short of it is I have been seeing a WG consistently for around 3 years as a long term regular. Said girl has dropped off the scene and I've not heard a thing for a few months.

Throughout my tenure with this fine lady I do admit I have grown accustomed to the times I would visit. We got on extremely well from the get go and often shared life tales (pillow talk) and developed somewhat of a bond, even during the act. Or at least it felt that way.

I knew it would never last forever and the boundaries between work and life were never crossed other than talking but her essential disappearance has left me feeling a little confused.

Obviously there is a selfish desire to have that "last meet" or even just to know that she's retired and living a conventional life etc. I know I'm not owed an explanation but I just feel that after the years that have been put in that maybe just a little message would have been fitting.

I dunno am I being ridiculously fluffy or was this brand of gfe that good?

Anyone else had any similar experiences?

Ask her to see you free after having dinner. See what her reply is. I'm sure once in receipt of said reply you EAS will be cured.

[dc0582]

I know how you feel op. I saw a lady regularly for a couple of years when all of a sudden at the start of the year she walked away and I haven't heard a word since. I would have loved one more meeting with her, but there you go. All you can do is move on yourself - I found trying someone completely different helped a lot! Good luck...

[cheekychapito]

I've been there OP. Some of us are more vulnerable to this sort of thing than others. It does get easier as time goes by, but you don't forget. I try to look back and think for a moment in time I was lucky to have enjoyed someone like this. As punters there are loads of SP's who will tick the box in the same way. I personally don't want to get hurt again so I will not be going down this route again. You must move on- we simply have no choice. 

Cheers. I will definitely hold on to the good memories of which there are many, but as the years went by I just got used to her and we definitely moved beyond punter/wg level, so in a way it feels like I've lost a friend as well.

I knew she was slowing down on working days but I was on waiting for the next work day mode and then a profile drops off, messages aren't returned and it's just a little off guard.

Thanks for the message.

[cheekychapito]

I know how you feel op. I saw a lady regularly for a couple of years when all of a sudden at the start of the year she walked away and I haven't heard a word since. I would have loved one more meeting with her, but there you go. All you can do is move on yourself - I found trying someone completely different helped a lot! Good luck...

Cheers fella, yeah the suddenness is the killer. I hope she's doing well but would have liked to have known or even a quick call to say bye. Oh well need to man up now me thinks lol. Thanks though

[cheekychapito]

Ask her to see you free after having dinner. See what her reply is. I'm sure once in receipt of said reply you EAS will be cured.

Lol I wouldn't disrespect her to ask her for freebies. A last dinner would be enough closure for me.

[cheekychapito]

Not a position i think i would find myself in but can certainly see how a relationship/habit can build over time only for it to stop suddenly leaving you feeling a little lost.

Have to say that reading this thread it is great to see a little support and understanding for the OP from his fellow brothers

Cheers fella

[Rockhead]

Hasn't happened to me (yet), but I can totally understand the feelings and predicament. On a personal level, it's pleasing to see that OP hasn't been bombarded with the usual unhelpful 'Man up' style comments. The male depression / suicide rate might be less high if blokes seeking a bit of help and support were actually given it - as women habitually are.

On another note, it could just be that the lady in question is taking a break?

[Sir Lance-a-lot]

It's generally a good idea to have at least 2 regulars, so the loss of one doesn't hit so hard.

Of course it's still possible that both might retire at the same time, that would suck.  But you should take that as a nudge from fate to try out some of those who have been cluttering up your hotlist.

[Diehard]

Lol I wouldn't disrespect her to ask her for freebies. A last dinner would be enough closure for me.

She won't have any feelings for you at all. It's just a business arrangement. Hookers pride themselves on not giving a shit about clients other than their money.

Sounds like you have paid her a lot of money so if I were you I'd forget about her and book someone else.

[cheekychapito]

Hasn't happened to me (yet), but I can totally understand the feelings and predicament. On a personal level, it's pleasing to see that OP hasn't been bombarded with the usual unhelpful 'Man up' style comments. The male depression / suicide rate might be less high if blokes seeking a bit of help and support were actually given it - as women habitually are.

On another note, it could just be that the lady in question is taking a break?

Cheers bud. I don't know, the profile deactivation is an unusual step and I've usually been informed when breaks occur for one reason or another. Emails to the aforementioned deactivated profile weren't picked up either so it's all a bit drastic given past behaviour which leads me to suspect it's not a break. I just hope it's not something bad.

[cheekychapito]

It's generally a good idea to have at least 2 regulars, so the loss of one doesn't hit so hard.

Of course it's still possible that both might retire at the same time, that would suck.  But you should take that as a nudge from fate to try out some of those who have been cluttering up your hotlist.

Yeah there a few candidates and one prospective who I've seen a few times and is now familiar with me.

Good tactic, I expect I will follow that advice lol

[MrMatrix]

Cheers. I will definitely hold on to the good memories of which there are many, but as the years went by I just got used to her and we definitely moved beyond punter/wg level, so in a way it feels like I've lost a friend as well.

I knew she was slowing down on working days but I was on waiting for the next work day mode and then a profile drops off, messages aren't returned and it's just a little off guard.

Thanks for the message.

Dont you have her phone number at all?

[Desimonic]

Yup been there OP, Move on . Few punts and it be out of your system. Maybe you find another even better, you never know

[bigmanbigman]

Time takes time
Unfortunately

[jackthelad]

Totally understand. It happens to the best of us tbh. I mean, seeing someone for a few years, you inevitably build a 'relationship' with them. It stings and your heart aches but you'll get over it.

Chin up Brother.

[Home Alone]

It's nearly 10 years ago that something like this happened to me.

The WG rang me to ask if we could have a pub-grub one lunchtime because she had something to tell me. I had no idea what she was going to say so I was gobsmacked when she told me she had retired from the industry. I could see her mind was made up and there was no point in any special pleading.

Like others have observed, it's best that way. She's moving on - you need to, as well.

[NigelF]

Some decent advice has already been imparted and I'm unable to add to it. However I will say that it if the premise that they're just in it for the money is true then why didn't they say they were quitting in order to drum that extra last bit of business - after all it would have worked on the OP, Blackpool Rock and me, to name just a few. It then seems like the only explanation is that they didn't actually particularly like you (certainly having sex with you).

However I think LL's comments about sometimes needing a clean break are spot on. Seen from this perspective you could argue that it's because they did enjoy spending time with you (relative to others and to the extent that you can in a business arrangement) that they couldn't muster the courage to tell you and they also didn't want to rinse you in the end. Of course they also have no idea how you'd react and if they've heard some horror stories then that might influence them as well. Even when you think you know someone well, they can still surprise you! I'd rather let down 40 people than risk one of them becoming an obsessive stalker in the final few weeks, even if the risk is small. If that were to happen then a clean break might become a lot harder.

[Diehard]

Some decent advice has already been imparted and I'm unable to add to it. However I will say that it if the premise that they're just in it for the money is true then why didn't they say they were quitting in order to drum that extra last bit of business - after all it would have worked on the OP, Blackpool Rock and me, to name just a few. It then seems like the only explanation is that they didn't actually particularly like you (certainly having sex with you).

However I think LL's comments about sometimes needing a clean break are spot on. Seen from this perspective you could argue that it's because they did enjoy spending time with you (relative to others and to the extent that you can in a business arrangement) that they couldn't muster the courage to tell you and they also didn't want to rinse you in the end. Of course they also have no idea how you'd react and if they've heard some horror stories then that might influence them as well. Even when you think you know someone well, they can still surprise you! I'd rather let down 40 people than risk one of them becoming an obsessive stalker in the final few weeks, even if the risk is small. If that were to happen then a clean break might become a lot harder.

Think your comment about the hooker not actually liking the punter is nailed on.

Hookers are by definition mercenaries and I think if punters remembered that fact then the scenario as per this thread would not be suffered by some blokes.

[cheekychapito]

Thanks for all the input, certainly feeling better for it.

Will definitely take the advice and views on board for the future.

Thanks

[claretandblue]

It's generally a good idea to have at least 2 regulars, so the loss of one doesn't hit so hard.

Of course it's still possible that both might retire at the same time, that would suck.  But you should take that as a nudge from fate to try out some of those who have been cluttering up your hotlist.

Disagree,I wouldn't advocate having any regulars,sure there are a few whores I have seen more than once who I may revisit;but the idea of a regular girl who you see at the same time each week/month sounds too much like a girlfriend substitute and a recipe for disaster

[OakTree]

Think your comment about the hooker not actually liking the punter is nailed on.

I agree and if not then at best totally indifferent to him. Any normal person a who you've dealt with over a period of time in whatever dealings, would normally tell you if they're going to soon be gone.

I think it's one of those fundamental things that many punters can't get their heads around. You may believe the sex you're having with her is earth moving but to her it could be absolutely abhorrent. I'm not saying this is the case with the OP but it does look to me as if she really couldn't give a shit.

Personally I'm against building relationships with WGs. It goes against all that paying a prostitute is for. It invariably ends in some sort of emotional drain on top of the large financial one. My advice for what it's worth is to think no more of this woman and move on.

[Brazilian Martian]

Ask her to see you free after having dinner. See what her reply is. I'm sure once in receipt of said reply you EAS will be cured.

Yep  op needs to realise he was only a paycheck to her sorry to be blunt but that's the truth.
If she had the same bond with him surely she would of told him she was leaving the game

[Brazilian Martian]

Disagree,I wouldn't advocate having any regulars,sure there are a few whores I have seen more than once who I may revisit;but the idea of a regular girl who you see at the same time each week/month sounds too much like a girlfriend substitute and a recipe for disaster

I agree 100 percent

[budz]

Never thought II'd see the day when fellow UKP's could be so understanding and not ridicule the OP. If we were all honest with ourselves I'm sure many more will have been or are going through something similar

[NigelF]

Disagree,I wouldn't advocate having any regulars,sure there are a few whores I have seen more than once who I may revisit;but the idea of a regular girl who you see at the same time each week/month sounds too much like a girlfriend substitute and a recipe for disaster

I do tend to agree, if I want good and regular sex I'll just have a bloody affair, unfortunately I want quite a bit more! The point of punting for me is mainly shagging a variety of hot young girls. To a much lesser extent I'll shag older but very dirty girls too! I will see the very hot ones or the ones who are very enthusiastic and do lots of DFK for repeat visits - to keep them fresh in my mind or if I have an urge for a guaranteed good punt but usually it's all about the variety. 

To be fair though I understand that affairs can be quite a lot of bloody work and not as cheap as you'd hope either! If you want regular no strings sex then hey there are a lot of worse ways to go about it than paying straight up.

[Plan R]

You must move on- we simply have no choice.

This
Both with punting and civie relationships

[Lewis]

Anyone else had any similar experiences?

Pretty much.

I was seeing someone for nearly 6 years. At least 3 times a month, sometimes every week. We would talk mid week together on the phone for over an hour. She would either call me, or vice versa. We knew each other inside out, family, friends, etc. Met her parents once as well. I was introduced to them as a "friend" although her mother silently knew what she did but played it down by convincing herself that her precious daughter was only carrying out massages. Although I only paid for an hour, I often saw her for a minimum of 3 to 4 hours. No rushing at all. On a few occasions she let me stay the night with her. I lent her money, and she would either pay me back or I'd have a free jump.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, unbeknown to me at the time, she'd met this rich client. She started becoming unreliable, not being able to see me at the weekend, etc. She eventually told me why and that she was "quitting" but if she could get away then we could still meet up together. More messing about ensued, and I worked out the only time she wanted to meet up was for money and for a shoulder to cry on. I got fed up with her pouring her heart out to me about the boyfriend, what a bully he was, a control freak, and an absolute dickhead. Despite me telling her to leave him then, she couldn't because she'd fallen in love with his lifestyle and more importantly his money. Basically I got fed up paying her for sex to then just become her agony uncle and listen to her harping on all night about him. I realised them what a shallow bitch she actually was.

She then started making accusations about me, saying I'd done this or that. I found out later the control freak was poisoning her mind with loads of shit. Somehow it was my fault she couldn't keep her knickers on. I wasn't the only previous client she was still seeing btw.

Do I miss her - I'll be honest, yes.
Do I miss all the aggro and grief she caused me. Not one bit.

[Neal69]

I can understand the OP in his point of view.

If you see a WG regularly for a period of time you do find you have a bit of a connection with them. If you don't then you will not make repeat bookings.

I have been seeing a touring WG for well over a year now as often as I can when she tours my area. Its nice in the cool down periods to have a bit of a chat and banter and the sex has been varied and really hot and passionate. I feel I have got to know her within the confines of the professional relationship we have.

She has not visited my area for a while now and while I cant say I feel dumped I do miss seeing her.

I always made sure that I had enough in my punting fund to make a booking when she was in my area.

I suppose she has just moved on from my area as the business was not worth her visiting again despite my borderline touting (East Anglian Punters will know who I am talking about).

I suppose I will have to live with it or make a trip to her home area if I want to see her again. At least I have that option which is more than the OP has, so look on the bright side.

N

[LL]

I can understand the OP in his point of view.

If you see a WG regularly for a period of time you do find you have a bit of a connection with them. If you don't then you will not make repeat bookings.

I have been seeing a touring WG for well over a year now as often as I can when she tours my area. Its nice in the cool down periods to have a bit of a chat and banter and the sex has been varied and really hot and passionate. I feel I have got to know her within the confines of the professional relationship we have.

Your comments here seem to contradict what you said in a thread you started just 2 days ago (https://www.ukpunting.com/index.php?topic=117800.0) in which you advise punters to...

Pay

Fuck

and walk away.

So what do you really think?
Does your mantra need some adjustments?

"Pay, Fuck, have a nice chat, get to know her, make a connection with her and walk away".

I'm not criticising either stance, whether you want a memorable punt with somebody whom you feel a connection with or if you prefer a meaningless pump and dump is your own business. It's your lack of consistency that I'm pointing out.

[Neal69]

Fair Point LL,

I think what I was trying to say was a connection within the confines of a professional relationship with a SP.

Have a good relationship within the paid for time but after that don't get involved in any issues that the WG has eg relationships etc.

Have a laugh and a chat within the booked time or any extra time that you spend after the action just chatting but when you walk away that is the end of the connection until the next time. I have sometimes gone well over time just chatting if both of us have nothing else to do after the punt it makes for a good connection the next time you see them.

Another WG I have seen a number of times since I started punting shut down her account and disappeared a while back and I would not dream of contacting her as she must have her reasons but I cant help but wonder if she is OK but to contact her breaks the confines of the punter WG relationship even if I do have her personal phone number that she gave me for convenience of booking as by her own admission she could be a bit disorganised sometimes.

This may sound contradictory but it makes sense to me. 

N

[seward]

OP I understand how this can happen but your own logic must tell you that to pay for a service even sex, it's just a business, and the illusion of becoming a special regular, is somewhat self delusionary, the WGs only interest is cash, and if your clean and not too demanding, then it's probably a win for her, if anyone thinks it means more well she has proved it does not, she just disappeared, not the actions of a caring friend, I don't think you'll drop into this mindset again,

[bigmanbigman]

Things happen for a reasion
Problem is only the wg knows her reason s all the punters have to guess . Thats it really .

[Diehard]

I agree and if not then at best totally indifferent to him. Any normal person a who you've dealt with over a period of time in whatever dealings, would normally tell you if they're going to soon be gone.

I think it's one of those fundamental things that many punters can't get their heads around. You may believe the sex you're having with her is earth moving but to her it could be absolutely abhorrent. I'm not saying this is the case with the OP but it does look to me as if she really couldn't give a shit.

Personally I'm against building relationships with WGs. It goes against all that paying a prostitute is for. It invariably ends in some sort of emotional drain on top of the large financial one. My advice for what it's worth is to think no more of this woman and move on.

Spot on. Hookers are mercenaries and if they happened to like a client they would most likely suggest a more informal arrangement. I doubt hookers have any problem asking blokes out whom they fancy as they won't have the same self respect as say civvie women did 30 or 40 years ago when it was not the done thing to ever ask a bloke out. I say 30 or 40 years ago as nowadays I think girls will approach men they fancy, I see it all the time with mates who are undoubtedly good looking lads.

The situation for the OP is the polar opposite, not only did she never make any advances on him, she has actively ignored and avoided him so I fail to see what is problem is, as you say it's clearly best to book another girl and forget about her.

[Jerboa]

Evan a non fluffy like me has met WG's who they get on well with, and get to like them, it's only human nature, recently a retired WG has been back in contact with me, and telling me she's coming back to escorting soon, which is great news, I won't mention a name, as don't want to be premature, but looking forward to her return. 

[Trotter671]

Sort of a similar experience to the OP and some of you other chaps - was a few years ago now back in 2009. Had been seeing quite regularly over a couple of years a very popular (at the time) young petite Thai girl at a couple of the Manchester area parlours. We got on great, had a laugh and talked about family life sort of stuff  as well as the shagging. When I saw her just before Xmas she gave me her personal number (and a Crimbo card !) and she suggested getting together outside for a 'normal date'.

Wasn't too sure and had my reservations of crossing the punter/WG line but did ring her a short while after. After a few calls of being strung along as she   couldn't make suggested dates I had enough and gave up She sent me a message in the New Year to say she had met through work a rich man who was going to take her out of this line of work and look after her. Never saw her again so that could have been true. Oh Well, a fool and his money......
 I did miss seeing her initially but soon moved on

[wannabe]

When they decide to leave this life, they just have to make a clean break, and put everything, and everyone, behind them. Given the stigma attached to this job, they probably can't risk keeping in touch with select clients. It's nothing personal, just necessry.

[howrude]

There have been a number of working girls who have been impressive and I've seen on a frequent basis. But I've never felt any sadness when they retired. I think back on the experiences and I would like to be able to see them again. But once they're gone, there are other girls to experience who could turn out to be as hot, if not hotter.

I was going to say that I've never allowed myself to get attached to any of the girls I see, but it's not a case of will power or knowing the rules - I simply don't get attached to them. I'm simply drawn to this base level fun with some great sexy women.

I've also never knowingly seen a girl for the last time.

[Turtle Z]

I was a regular of Mara in Derby before she stopped providing full service and I was disappointed when she retired but it certainly wasn't EAS. Personally I prefer to see one or two good regulars and there's no one in the East  Midlands that I'm interested in seeing as a regular so her retirement was a huge  loss at the time. Did I feel she owed me an explanation for no longer being available? No, not at all, people move with their lives and I've always been very grounded when it comes to punting.